The Switchblade Mamma

  32.

  The summer had closed and fall was creeping in like a distant aunt who never called. I could see and feel the world changing, more so in my bones. Even with Dr. Cole's weekly injections, I could still feel light pains here and there. I even told him, hoping he would up the dose, or perhaps create a new cocktail. Either way, I knew the pain would be an issue.

  As Halloween past and November plugged in, Fitz came and became the usual installment around fight time. I no longer woke up early to maintain regular duties around the house. I woke up early, to stretch, run and to train daily with Fitz. I was with no doubt, pleased to see him. If there was a simple balance in the world, beside Paige, Fitz was it.

  I was awoken in the morning by Paige. The door thrust open and I quickly rose from my sleep. I looked at her, eyes still crusted with sleep. "Where's the fire?" I asked.

  Page somewhat smiled. "No fire Lillian, I just need to go out for some errands. Barrett and Clive are out as well. I just need you to wait for Fitz. He is on his way and will be here shortly. Get ready."

  "Roger that," I said. And just as quickly as she came in, Paige was gone. I suppose when you got to go, you got to go. So I did as I was told. I got up, put on my workout clothes and patiently waited for Fitz.

  My mind was racing at the moment. An opportunity was shining. Barrett, Clive and Paige were gone. Soon it would just be me and Fitz. As I sat quietly inside my little room, underneath the yellowish florescent lights, ears filled with their faint silent buzzing, I started contemplating my course of action. My heart began to pound as I knew execution was imminent. I did not want to hurt Fitz, but I knew it was the only way I could get free. And as Fitz opened up my door, smiling, I felt the guilt is it poured out of me.

  It was hard not to be stiff as a rock. Fitz walked me upstairs. As he sat at the table, I prepared my breakfast. Stomach filled with butterflies, I just made a quick oatmeal. "You hungry Fitz?"

  "No, I already ate, but thanks."

  I nodded and looked out the kitchen window while my oatmeal was warming up in the microwave. The ground was covered with snow, a thick layer. I shook my head and said "shit."

  "I thought you liked the snow, Lill." Fitz spoke from the table.

  I walked back from the window and saw that coffee was still warming up the pot. I went to the fridge and pulled out the creamer. As I filled my cup up with mostly creamer and a little bit of coffee, I turned and looked at Fitz. "Coffee?"

  He smiled at me and shook his head. "No thanks, I'm good."

  As I pulled my oatmeal from the microwave and sat at the table, I held a sad expression upon my face. "So when did the snow come in?"

  "Last night. As soon as I got home, it just started coming down. For the first snow of the year, it is quite heavy. The forecast says that we will be getting more today, midafternoon I believe." Fitz let out a little laugh. "I suppose I will be having to spend over, tonight."

  I gave off a short chuckle. My plans were becoming devastated one piece at a time. I knew if it began to snow hard, my chances for escape were slim to none. It had to be perfect. I cared so very much for Paige. Even Clive and Barrett were becoming a constant in my life and if I escaped and died before reaching my goal, I knew they would die as well. If I was going to go, my plan would have to be fully executed. The snowfall would hit, mid-afternoon. If I ran as fast as I could, I would make it to the main road. I would have to find a ride, but I would survive. It was now or never.

  As I lifted the coffee cup to my lips to take a deep sip, I imagined momentarily of bashing it to the side of Fitz's head, but I shot the thought down. I couldn't do it like that. It would have to wait until we were training. I didn't want to harm him, but I knew I had to.

  After breakfast, Fitz and I trained. I had a quick warm-up. I stretched, ran, hit the punching bag, and finally begin light sparring with Fitz.

  My dukes were up, as well as his. In his mind it was simple training that played out just as it had played out many times before. He punched and I dodged. This time the trigger was for me to accidentally get hit, and I mean accidentally get hit. My heart begin to race as I was ready for the bogus punch. As Fitz came in, I purposefully put myself into the punch. As his fist connected with my nose, I faked it to be worse than it was. I covered my nose quickly and backed away from him. Holding my face with both my hands, I pretended to be in great pain as if my nose were broke.

  Fitz moved in quickly trying to comfort me from my pain. "Christ, Lillian I am sorry! Are you okay? Seriously, did I break your nose?"

  I said nothing, just held my face in a pretend pain. As soon as Fitz moved in, I grabbed his shirt with both hands. When my eyes met his, they eyes filled with fear. He knew. I arched back my head as far as I could and thrust it towards his. With the first hit, there was a crunch and a burst of blood from his face, covering mine. With My hands still grappling his shirt, he struggled. Tightly holding on to him, I arched back once again and struck. This time I could feel the crushing underneath my four head and I could feel his bones break in his face. And as I pulled back, face bloodied, Fitz still within my grasp, his body went limp.

  Fitz was out cold. My moment had come. As I slowly released him and laid his body carefully upon the floor, I felt for a pulse. He was still alive. With my mind in a complete jumble, I tried to focus. I ran to my duffel bag that lay next to the steel bench and fished out my knives. I grabbed my Spyderco and my switchblade, pocketed them and rushed for the door quickly. As I thrust inside my room, I propped the door open with a pillow. I fumbled as I threw off my workout clothes and threw on some blue jeans and my Mountain Dew shirt. I put on on my New Balances, good for running and looked about the room. I grabbed my hoodie and made my way out. I rushed up the stairs, zipping up my hoodie and preparing for the cold. I grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water. I drank every last drop. As I swallowed hard, I went for the door. When I opened it, I came face-to-face with Paige.