I am Luke’s mistress.
I hear the unfamiliar ring of my new phone in my bag and my heart beats harder and I try not to look, I try not answer, I try not to jump to his command, but I do and see that it’s a text.
Turn your phone to silent
I do as he tells me.
I can’t do this I type, you were right, it’s too… I think of me found cuffed, I think of a wet bed that almost was, I think of everything that is at stake, I understand now what he said that day in the car park and I understand now what he meant, well a little.
He is bad, he is dangerous…
I stare down at the phone, I will myself to hit send, to end it, to just stop now while we can.
I don’t hit send, I put the phone back in my bag, I smile at the kids, I wave to Natasha and Gina as I drive past, I wind down my window and tell them that yes, I’ll see them tomorrow at the gym and I think of my bruises…
And I talk and I smile and I make dinner and help with homework, but every chance I get I hide, I peek under my watch, or I lift my bracelet and I see the bruises, the evidence, it takes six to nine days for a bruise to fade, what does he mean, he’ so cryptic, I am back trying to work out his dark mind again, the shame is fading, the want is already building….
I am back in Luke’s shadow again.