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    Photographs of Claudia

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      after all. No one else would notice it because they wouldn’t have

      the others to compare.

      She clipped the photo to one of the skirt hangers she had

      pinched from her mother’s closet years ago, added it to the line

      to dry with the others and closed the door behind her. By her

      calculations the workshop project had taken almost twenty hours

      of her time already and still she had four photos to go, plus the

      written application. Fortunately she had been able to do most

      of her work after hours, but the pull of developing the first two

      images had been too strong to put off until evening. Now after

      spending most of her Monday morning in the darkroom, she

      needed to tackle the stack of paperwork that had accumulated on

      her desk in the past week. There would be no money coming in

      unless she got her bills out.

      No sooner had she sat down behind her desk than footsteps

      sounded on her porch, followed by a man’s voice calling her

      name. She hustled to the parlor to find two workmen, one of

      whom was holding a large cardboard box.

      “Man, you guys got here quick.” She had called the local

      appliance store as soon as it opened to order an air conditioner

      unit for one of the attic windows. The remaining photos were

      more complicated than those she had shot yesterday and two

      of them involved multiple lighting. It was too much to ask of

      Claudia to endure the blazing studio lights without some relief.

      While the workmen installed the unit in her south window,

      she staged the preliminaries for the next weekend’s setup, in

      which she would use natural light from the window that faced

      the street. By the shadows falling across the rooftops between

      her house and the wharf, she estimated direct sunlight would hit

      the attic around one thirty. If Claudia came at one instead of

      two, she could have the light streaming down from above instead

      of directly in her face. That would make it trickier to position

      the reflector, but worth it not to make Claudia suffer. It was

      undeniable that using a friend instead of a professional model

      was having an impact on her process—spending three hundred

      dollars on an air conditioner was proof of that. But she had to

      admit it made her care even more about the quality of her work.

      The office phone rang from down below, but there was no

      chance she could cover two floors in time to catch it so she left

      it to her answering machine. Besides, whatever it was could wait

      until tomorrow. Her schedule today was open until four, when the

      eighteen-member Cox family was due for its annual Christmas

      card photo sitting.

      As soon as the workmen left she brought her files into the

      attic and set Miss Murphy in front of the window. Every fifteen

      minutes she interrupted her paperwork to snap a Polaroid,

      writing the time on the back to document the sun’s position. Yes,

      it was ridiculously more preparation than she put into most of

      her sessions, but this was her most important work ever.

      Claudia felt a twinge in her neck when she slammed her car

      door and slung the heavy satchel over her shoulder. Leo had

      warned her that the long periods of holding perfectly still could

      make her stiff and sore, but she hadn’t expected to be feeling the

      effect today. Granted, her workday had been considerably longer

      than usual since she had held two parent-teacher conferences on

      children who were struggling to keep up with their classmates.

      She was bursting to share the news about her job possibility

      with someone, but the only person who might celebrate with her

      was Leo, and right now was her busiest time of day. Mike would

      be the first to hear about it when he called at eight. She had

      missed his call the night before because it had come two hours

      earlier than usual while she was still with Leo. His message said

      he had to go out to the job site and would try again tonight.

      As she fumbled with the key to her front door, she heard her

      0

      phone ring. She tossed her satchel onto the couch and made it

      to the kitchen just before the fourth ring engaged her answering

      machine.

      “Hi, honey.”

      “Mike!” She was startled to hear his voice and spun to check

      the clock, thinking she must be late. “I just walked in. You don’t

      usually call this early. It’s only seven o’clock.”

      “I know, but I have to go back out to the work site today.

      I was there all day yesterday because the architects fucked up

      something. Now I’m going to have to kick some ass to get it

      fixed.”

      She recognized the ire in his voice and didn’t envy the

      construction crew. He had his father’s temper. “I certainly

      wouldn’t want to be those guys on the job.”

      “No shit. So where were you yesterday?” His voice carried

      a slight edge, which wasn’t unusual when he was distracted by

      work.

      “I was with a friend of mine. We went to dinner down at the

      wharf here in Monterey.”

      “Somebody from school?”

      “Yes.” The word came out before she could check it. If Mike

      knew about Leo it would only fuel more questions about why

      they were friends, and she didn’t want to tell him about the

      photo sessions. Besides, it wasn’t technically a lie that she had

      met Leo at school. “I don’t want to make you jealous, but I had

      clam chowder.”

      He groaned. “Stop, you’re killing me. I’m so sick of rice I

      could puke. I was looking forward to Thanksgiving so I could eat

      some real food.”

      “What do you mean you were looking forward to it? Don’t

      you dare tell me you aren’t coming home.”

      “That’s why I needed to talk to you, baby.” He sighed heavily.

      “They don’t exactly celebrate the Pilgrims over here. I’ve got

      two subcontractors coming in that week from Shanghai and if

      I’m not here to show them what’s what, they’ll fuck it up again

      and I’ll end up having to stay an extra year to fix it. Which would

      you rather have happen?”

      She didn’t like either choice, but the idea of him being gone

      an extra year was her least favorite. He would push her to join him

      in Taiwan, but she didn’t want to postpone starting her teaching

      career. “I definitely want you to come home sooner.”

      “That’s what I thought. I’m sure you’ll have a good time with

      Mom and Dad. Sis will be there with Hardin.”

      Ugh. Mike’s mother was bad enough, but his sister and

      her snooty husband were insufferable. Without Mike there to

      redirect the conversation, she would have to endure Hardin’s

      unending advice on where to invest, what to drive and how to

      vote. At least the food would be delicious, since the whole feast

      would be catered. “It won’t be same without you.”

      “I know, but I’ll make it up to you. How would you like to

      meet me in Honolulu the week before Christmas?”

      “That’s the week I’m supposed to graduate. If you have the

      time off, why don’t you come to Santa Cruz and ch
    eer for me

      when I finally get my diploma?”

      He hissed as he drew in a deep breath. “Please don’t ask me

      to do that. You know how I hate to sit through things like that.”

      She was hurt that he didn’t even consider her request, but it

      wasn’t as if he attended some events and not others. He avoided

      all of them, including weddings, funerals and virtually all social

      gatherings. Even at their first meeting, he had whisked her out of

      the Christmas party.

      “I know, I know. Forget about it.” Winter commencement

      ceremonies were always small, but still they didn’t acknowledge

      graduates by name, just degree. “I know you hate these things, so

      I won’t make you come.”

      “So what do you say? Three nights on Waikiki Beach? I’ll get

      Nissa to book it.”

      “Let me think about it.”

      He let out a short, faint sigh of frustration. “Okay, but I’ll

      need to get it on my planner within the next few days or Nissa

      will start filling it up with meetings.”

      “Please don’t be disappointed.”

      “How can I not be, Claudia? I haven’t seen you in months. I

      just offered you a trip to Hawaii and all you can say is you’ll get

      back to me.”

      Mike’s impatience served him well on the job site, where

      subcontractors bent over backward to avoid his wrath, but it

      was sometimes a challenge when it came to negotiating their

      relationship. She had learned from experience that a calm and

      reasoned response worked best to cool him off, and he often

      came around if she just left him to think about it on his own. “I

      want to say yes, but I need to check with Mom and Dad first. I

      invited them to come already, and they might want to, since they

      shelled out for four years of college. And besides, it’s important

      to me too.”

      He was quiet for a long moment, which was his usual reaction

      when she resisted being pushed. She liked to think it was because

      he recognized when he was being unreasonable. “Sure, check

      with them and let me know. I’ll try to keep those days free a little

      longer.”

      Clearly the part about graduation being important to her too

      had sailed over his head, but he had already made it clear how

      he felt about the mass ceremony so it was no use to belabor the

      point. “If it doesn’t work out, maybe I could come to Taiwan for

      Christmas and New Year’s.”

      “Okay, but I’d rather have you all to myself in Hawaii,” he said

      in a lecherous tone. “I’ve got to go. Nissa says my car’s here.”

      “Wait, I have something important to tell you. My principal

      wants me to apply for an opening next year. That means I could

      teach in Monterey while you finish up over there.”

      “That’s a horrible idea. Why would you want to do that?”

      She was stung by his response. “What’s wrong with it? I was

      honored to be asked.”

      “Claudia, you can’t complain about me being gone and then

      say you want to teach in Monterey. You’ve been up there for four

      and a half years. I was hoping you’d come over here when you

      got finished.”

      “Mike, I got a degree so I could teach, not so I could lounge

      around all day while you’re at work. And I only said I’d come for

      a visit, not to live.”

      “I’m coming!” he shouted brusquely to someone in his office.

      Then to her, “Why do you have to drop this shit on me when I’m

      running out the door? We’ll talk about it next week.”

      The connection crackled as he hung up, leaving her staring

      slack-jawed at the receiver.

      Chapter 14

      Leo gathered the abundant cloth between Claudia’s shoulder

      blades and pinned it, effectively turning her large white shirt into

      a size medium. “Don’t move too much or you’ll feel the wrath of

      these pins. I’m not much of a seamstress.”

      “It’s okay.” Claudia smiled impassively and gazed out the

      open window from her stool.

      A ray of sunlight crept onto the floor. In a couple of minutes

      it would be wide enough to bounce upward from the reflector

      screen into her face. That would set off a systematic frenzy for

      Leo as she took the first set of photos. She would have to juggle

      her light meter, reflector and camera to capture a dozen images

      with the ratio she needed. Then she would wait for the sun to

      descend further and shoot several more straight on through a

      white nylon diffuser.

      “I’ll be taking a few more photos today than last week because

      the sun will be moving while we shoot. But I promise you won’t

      have to hold the same pose for longer than a minute, two at the

      most.”

      “Don’t worry about it.”

      Claudia’s words were reassuring, but her voice sounded

      troubled. Something was bothering her, and whatever it was had

      been there three nights ago when Leo had called to ask her to

      come an hour earlier. “Is there anything I can do to make this

      more comfortable? Would you rather have an armchair? I can

      grab the one from my bedroom and bring it up.”

      “I’m okay, honest.” Claudia sighed and her face took on a

      grim look. “I’m just a little preoccupied because Mike’s being a

      jerk.”“I’m sorry to hear that.” Not that she cared anything about

      Mike. She was only sorry Claudia was unhappy. The line of light

      had reached her feet, which meant the window for the first shot

      was imminent.

      “I’ve been in a shitty mood all week, and I haven’t told

      anybody why, not even Sandy.”

      “If you want to talk, I’ll listen…but I’ve got to be honest.

      We’re going to lose this shot in about ten minutes.” As soon as the

      words left her lips, she felt guilty for her selfishness. She weighed

      the imposition of pressing ahead with that of rescheduling and

      putting Claudia through the setup again. “But if you don’t want

      to deal with this today, that’s cool. We can do it next week.”

      “No, let’s go ahead. We’re ready.” Claudia wriggled her

      shoulders and settled into the pose they had practiced.

      Leo angled the reflector upward until it erased the shadows

      below Claudia’s brow, nose and chin. Then she stepped onto her

      platform to look down into her viewfinder and took three photos

      at varied exposures. “Okay, relax. I need to do that again in about

      three or four minutes. That was probably the best one, but I want

      one more angle of light to make sure.”

      Claudia took the opportunity to stretch her arms out to

      the side. “My principal asked me to apply for a job next year at

      Melrose. He can’t promise anything, but he hinted that he’d find

      a way to pull it off.”

      “He offered you a job?”

      “Basically.”

      This was terrific news for Leo, as she had begun to dread

      Claudia’s departure in only a month. “That’s fantastic. So why

      don’t you sound happy?”

      “Because I told Mike and he had a shit-fit. He said I’ve been

      gone longer than he has, and that four and a half years
    was long

      enough.”

      “That’s ridiculous. He’s been overseas the whole time.” As

      they talked, she took continuous readings of Claudia’s face with

      her light meter. When it reached the desired exposure, she tilted

      the reflector to match the shifting sun. “Bear with me one more

      time.”

      Claudia stared blankly out at the water while Leo repeated

      the earlier process.

      “All right, the first one’s done. Let’s take a break.” She pulled

      the pins from the back of the shirt and fluffed it around Claudia’s

      shoulders. “Why don’t you get up and walk around? I’ve got a

      few things to do to get ready for the next one.” The next photo

      required a filter, in this case, a white nylon screen that she

      stretched flat and tacked onto the window frame.

      “It’s ridiculous that I’m not even allowed to make my own

      decisions. He thinks I should just pick up and move to Taiwan

      to be with him after I graduate, like actually using my degree for

      anything would be quaint. Big of him to indulge my little hobby.

      He sounds just like my mother.” Claudia spun on her heel and

      began pacing, her voice escalating with agitation. “But you know

      what the worst part is? He practically hung up on me Monday

      night, and then he wouldn’t take my call on Wednesday. I had to

      leave a message with his fucking secretary, which he didn’t even

      bother to return.”

      Leo was taken aback by the harsh tone. It was hard to believe

      this was the same person who had quieted a roomful of third-

      graders with her gentle voice. On the other hand, Claudia didn’t

      strike her as someone who let herself get pushed around either.

      “Why does he think he gets to control my life all the way

      from Taiwan? He isn’t even coming home for Thanksgiving, but

      I’ve got to sit there with his whole family—including his jerk of

      a brother-in-law—and smile through dinner like Doris Day. I

      hope he doesn’t think getting engaged gives him the right to tell

      me what to do. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership.” Her

      voice was rising along with the color in her face. “And what is

      this not taking my call? It’s like some three-year-old throwing a

      temper tantrum because he doesn’t get his way. It just makes me

      so goddamn furious.”

     


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