It don't seem to be a problem for y'all to jock me even though you don't see.
What's deep down inside you just judge the book by the cover an toss me aside.
So you continued on with your life looking ahead an puttin me behind you lookin to
forget.
Lookin to be the one that you never had so that I wasn't something you would ever
regret.
It don't seem to be a problem to not look my way.
To show that fake smile to me making sure everything is ok.
To tell me that you think I'm cute but when the screen is black.
You be passin my photo around lookin to stab me in the back.
Lookin back I seen it ever since the first time that it happened.
I thought that people were mature outside of school but I have yet to see it.
You always tried to drop excuses to me.
Why you didn't want to be seen with me.
Because of y'all I turned into a shut in.
Dreaming of the better days as I play sims.
I know y'all killed me on the inside but you don't care.
It's just a card that I got handed in life in which you were unaware.
Now when y'all get close enough to take a look in my eyes you become scared.
Of the tortured soul that lays beyond the green eyes.
The green continues to fade.
The black starts to invade.
Ever so slowly my soul continues to grow colder.
Every 365 days I become yet another year older.
It don't seem to be a problem for you anymore.
You just turn an run in the other direction
- Kennie Kayoz -
Alone
Here I sit alone, to be looked in upon like a sideshow freak.
To be mocked as you pass me on the street resortin to names like geek.
Always displayed to the world as the loner in which I be.
Never any friends, no girl, always free.
But why would it matter no one would want me anyways.
I'll be walking this earth as a loner till the end of days.
People always wanting to act like my friends when it's conveint to them is what
they do.
When people mention my name when I'm not around they laugh an say "who ?"
I know that no matter where I go no one wants me around.
Not a single person can look at me an tell me that they're truly down.
I never could understand why I was turned this way.
No matter what I do I have to go through the same shit everyday.
I wish for once it would stop.
I wish for once I wouldn't have to get a pick me up by drinkin 2L's of pop.
But until something changes.
I will continue to remain the same.
- Kennie Kayoz -
Pathetic Little Me
You see my tears, you hear me sob
Putting myself down 'cause I lost my job
You hear my screams and see my pain
Watch the anger build as I yank my own chain
Curled up in a ball, holding the pillow tight
I yell and scream, as it's with myself that I fight
You watch me punch the pillow as tears roll down
You watch my lips and see the start of a big frown
I weep big crocodile tears and clutch my teddy bear
Hitting my thigh in anger and pulling on my hair
Silence killing me, the cd plays loud
I know inside I am not proud
These dreams I have are all too real
But it's only imaginary happiness I feel
They won't come true, not a single one
Because I can't have you, and you fill my life with fun
What we want can never be
And it's because I'm just pathetic little me.
You see the anger in my eyes knowing that I can't help but watch.
Looking in on you through wishing I could touch.
Telling you that it's going to be ok shit like this happens all the time.
Just sit back and relax baby your anger an frustration will flow out in a rhyme.
It's best to believe that writing is the best thing to release anger.
Rather than resortin to foregin objects that'll cut or hang ya.
Wish there was somethin I could do but I know it's best be supportive for you.
With anything that happens in ya life cause I don't need ya to get a distortive
view.
Over what should be placed behind of you.
understand that.
Even though that's the reason behind many verbal spats.
Perhaps good things do come to those who wait.
But whichever happens in ones life is nothin more than fate.
So wipe those tears from your eyes an sit on up.
Cause you can move on with ya life without havin to stop.
So be sure to rise upon above it as we know you can.
Problems come in everyday life an they aren't nothing like quicksand.
You can be anything you want to be an do anything you want to do.
If you follow ya dreams you can't fail cause you only have to be true to you.
Crystal Kayoz (paragraph 1)
Kennie Kayoz (paragraph 2)
Do You Hate Me Now
All through my life I was always pushed aside you never thought I'd amount to
anything.
Now that I have gained the courage to follow my dream.
You now start to act like you've been down since day one.
I never could understand what you were doing till now.
I started to make a name for myself and you came back around.
Every little obsticle you tossed at me I surpassed with flying colors.
DO YOU HATE ME NOW SEEING WHAT I'VE BECAME
KNOWING THAT I'VE GOTTEN HERE JUMPIN PASS THE OBSTICLES YOU'VE THROWN MY WAY.
DO YOU REALLY HATE ME NOW.
DO YOU HATE ME NOW
DO YOU HATE MEEEE NNNOOOOOWWWWWW !!
DO YOU FUCKING HATE MEE KNOWING THAT I'VE SHOWED YOU UP.
DO YOU HATE MMMMEEEE
I look into your eyes when I see you and your now dead to me.
Your eyes cold as you've grown on the other side of the tracks.
Not knowing what it was that I wanted to become.
Always trying to turn me away from what you didn't want me to be.
Trying to make me act the way you want me to.
DO YOU HATE ME NOW SEEING WHAT I'VE BECAME
KNOWING THAT I'VE GOTTEN HERE JUMPIN PASS THE OBSTICLES YOU'VE THROWN MY WAY.
DO YOU REALLY HATE ME NOW.
DO YOU HATE ME NOW
DO YOU HATE MEEEE NNNOOOOOWWWWWW !!
DO YOU FUCKING HATE MEE KNOWING THAT I'VE SHOWED YOU UP.
DO YOU HATE MMMMEEEE
- Kennie Kayoz -
Emotions
These emotions have my mind confused.
If it was punches then my mind would be totally bruised.
Part of me wants to do one thing the other half don't.
Half of me wants to sink into things the other won't.
What do I have to do for my body to fully agree.
Why is it that my body won't agree to disagree.
It seems that nothing is for certain any longer.
Mind over matter which one really is stronger.
I don't really know which one to trust.
My mind says love but my body says lust.
Is it just lust that I'm after in hopes that nothing more comes of it.
Or is it just a simple mind game that I play with myself cause I'm obsessed with
the girl.
My emotions have me screwed up beyond belief, I wish I could choose one from the
other.
Most of the
time it's more of a bother.
I don't know what more to come across as, I don't know where to turn.
It's like I'm a two year old and I have to understand that I need to learn.
I never knew that things would get this complicated for myself in all the years.
Perhaps the answer lays in the bottom of one of these beers.
But I'm not a drinker.
I seem to be an over thinker.
Ask me a question about what I do and I can give you a dozen reasons why.
Ask me a question about what I don't do and I'll answer it as I want to touch the
sky.
If my time was up would I be happy with what I've done.
If my time was up I wish I would have had more fun.
But tell my brain to agree with the rest.
Tell my body to quit shaking like a pest.
- Kennie Kayoz -