“Do you?”
Fortunately, I was saved from answering by the door to my room being
pushed open, Ryland and Jax running inside. At least I assumed it was both
of them. I only saw Jax, but a hulking shadow followed closely behind him,
sticking to the walls.
“Z!” Jax’s eyes, wild with fear, met mine as he lunged forward. He
would’ve probably collapsed on top of me if it hadn’t been for Ryland
materializing between us.
“She’s sick!” he snapped, his tone taut with worry and tension. “You
need to be gentle.”
Jax’s expression hardened, almost as if he was prepared to fight Ryland in
order to get to me, but one glance over the shadow’s shoulder had his face
crumpling.
I searched his eyes warily, half expecting to see his usual madness, but
surprisingly, he appeared coherent.
“We were so fucking worried.” Jax took a step around Ryland, his eyes
still fixed on me. Slowly, he lowered himself to his knees and placed his head
on my lap. His voice was muffled from where his lips rested against my
upper thigh, but I could still understand him clearly as he muttered, “The
voices are quiet now.”
“Jax…” Trembling, I brushed my fingers through his light brown hair.
Even that small touch took too much energy. But I couldn’t stop.
I’d seen Jax die. I’d held his broken, bleeding body in my arms as the life
drained from his vibrant eyes. The fissure inside of my chest had transformed
from a mere crack to a canyon, and I’d known that the only bridge capable of
breaching the distance would be my mate’s survival. I’d refused to accept
anything else as an alternative.
I remembered my power entering his body, filling him up and breathing
life back into him. I had no idea how that was even possible, but it’d
happened. And then, his eyes had opened, spearing me with a look so full of
love and awe that I would’ve died a very happy assassin.
Yet somehow, I was still here. Tired, yes. Sick, yes. Hurting, yes.
But alive.
How was that possible? I was certain death would claim me, but I’d been
willing to embraced the Grim Reaper if it meant my mates living.
Almost as if Ryland were privy to my thoughts, he whispered, “How is
this possible?” A shadowy hand curled around my cheek as his ice-blue eyes
ensnared my own. They were wide with terror as they penetrated my very
soul. “How are you awake?”
“I told you,” Jax interjected before anyone could answer. He didn’t lift
his head from my lap, but his voice was loud enough for the others to hear.
“We’re keeping her here. For now.”
“I don’t understand,” Devlin said, sounding irritated by the prospect. If I
weren’t in such agony, I would’ve cracked a smile. There wasn’t a lot that
could ruffle my genie, but him being in the dark about something important,
especially something concerning me, had that effect.
“It’s the mating bond,” Jax explained patiently. Finally, he lifted his head
and met each of our gazes, one after the other. “I realized it when I was
with…” His face twisted with pain before he quickly smoothed out his
expression. “When I was with Aaliyah. The mating bond between us…it’s
more than we could ever imagine.”
“What the fuck do you mean?” Devlin snapped. Before Jax could answer,
the genie turned towards Bash. “Go grab Dair and call Lupe and Killian.”
Bash turned towards me, seemingly reluctant to leave, before clenching
his jaw and nodding briskly. My eyes followed him until the door swung shut
behind him.
It took about ten minutes for the rest of my mates to arrive. Dair,
apparently, had been resting in the room next door, since Bash hadn’t
allowed him to sleep in the same bed as me. My handsome mermaid
immediately wheeled himself beside my bed and gripped my hand, refusing
to release me, even when the others arrived.
Killian chastely kissed my forehead, his eyes wordlessly saying
everything he didn’t speak out loud. Unlike the others, he didn’t shy away
from expressing his relief at seeing me alive and somewhat well. Tears fell
forehead to mine.
Lupe was just as needy as the others, if not more so. Without preamble,
the growly bear shifter climbed onto the bed and spread his muscular legs out
on either side of me. I leaned back into his warm embrace, and his strong arm
banded around my stomach. With anyone else, I imagined the position
would’ve felt restrictive and uncomfortable, but not with Lupe. Never with
Lupe. I could tell he needed the connection more than anyone. His eyes
flashed repeatedly as he struggled to control his wrath, struggled to not give
into the sin that coursed through him.
Almost absently, I brought his hand up to my mouth and kissed his palm.
His large fingers were calloused, though I knew my shifter was a lover, not a
fighter. He preferred to settle his disputes with words and diplomacy instead
of senseless violence. Still, there were times that he gave into his wrath and
absolutely destroyed everyone and everything in the immediate proximity. It
was hard for any of my nightmares to escape the sins they were born into.
“I’m okay,” I assured him, though I spoke loud enough for the others to
hear as well.
As if to directly contradict my words, a cough rattled my body, blood
spitting from my mouth and landing on the white bedspread. All eyes fell on
the splatter of red liquid as flames entered my cheeks.
“Oh shit,” I murmured, trying for a smile. “Hopefully, they have good
maid service here.”
No one even cracked a smile. Damn. Tough crowd.
“Baby…” Bash began, and my heart hammered once more at that word. I
wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but I kind of liked being his baby.
“You’re sick, Z. Very, very sick,” Devlin said, picking up where we left
off before the others arrived. He turned towards Jax, who was still crouched
beside the bed, his head resting on his forearms and peering up at me. “Now,
what did you mean earlier? About the mate bond?”
Jax licked his upper lip, keeping his gaze trained on me as he considered
where to start. I couldn’t help but note that he spoke slower than a normal
person, almost as if he were testing each word before he said it. I wondered if
it had to do with the vampire insanity that plagued him for years, as if a part
of him had forgotten how to function normally. I knew that there were only
two things that could help him—drinking blood and being around me.
“When I was with Aaliyah,” he began softly, and another flash of pain
shadowed his eyes. I knew my vampire lover had faced unspeakable horrors
when he was with that bitch. I didn’t know the extent of it and I almost didn’t
dare ask, but I knew it haunted him. Guilt distorted his face as he struggled
for words. Taking a deep breath, he began again. “When I was with Aaliyah,
I was lost to the madness. First, it was my normal madness—the type I get
when I don’t drink blood.
But then…but then I was driven by bloodlust. It
was all I could focus on, all I could think about. Blood. Blood. Blood.
Blood.”
All of my mates went still at Jax’s story, and I knew that they, too,
experienced guilt over what happened. Misplaced guilt, obviously, since
they’d had no control over what that sadistic bitch did to him, but guilt all the
same.
“Anyway.” Jax cleared his throat, as if uncomfortable with all the pitying
looks. I didn’t entirely blame him. “The only times I was cognizant was when
I was with Z.”
“When you were with Z?” Killian repeated, scratching absently at his
tattooed neck. “What do you mean?”
“When you hallucinated Z?” Lupe asked for clarification, his low voice a
rumble that reverberated through me.
Jax shook his head. “No, when she visited me.”
All eyes turned to stare at me. I could even feel Lupe’s gaze pressing
down on my scalp from where he towered over me on the bed. I wiggled,
feeling confused and anxious in equal measure.
What the fuck was Jax talking about?
The only times I’d “visited” him were in my dreams, where—
Holy fuck.
“You mean those were real?” I whispered hoarsely, every muscle in my
body locking tight and then spasming as horror infiltrated my system.
Devlin’s eyebrows knitted together. “What was real?”
“Dreams,” I responded vaguely, gesturing with my hand towards my head
as if that could somehow explain everything. I licked my upper lip anxiously.
“I had these dreams about Jax. These horrible, horrible dreams…” A weight
filled with poison and lead dropped in my chest.
“They weren’t dreams.” Jax shook his head sadly. “You were there, Z. I
don’t know how to explain it, but you were with me.”
“Oh god.”
My heart rattled in my chest as I recalled everything I’d seen, everything
I’d thought was nothing more than a horrible dream.
Jax, broken and bleeding and staring at me with hate filled eyes.
His body strewn on a cross, blood dripping from the numerous wounds on
his body.
His mouth painted red with blood as he fed on human after human.
And then his body connecting with mine as we devoured one another. As
ecstasy ripped me apart and then stitched me back together.
Heat flushed through me at that last thought, and if the banked fire in his
eyes was any indication, he recalled that exact same memory.
“Why didn’t you tell us about the dreams?” Bash demanded in irritation.
“Just another thing she kept from us,” Devlin muttered, and my heart
cracked directly down the center. I knew my secrets had hurt my mates—
Devlin especially, who still feared he would never regain my trust—and that
they might never trust me again. I couldn’t even blame them.
Secret after secret was piling up on me, on all of us, like dirt covering a
wooden coffin six feet below ground.
“Devlin,” I began placatingly, but he simply unleashed the hurricane
force of his glare on me before immediately turning away.
“Not now, Z,” he snapped, his hands clenching. He couldn’t even fucking
look at me, and that hurt more than I cared to admit.
“So this bond…” Killian pressed, flashing me a tentative, understanding
smile. I returned it gratefully. Trust my sweet incubus to know when I needed
to change the subject.
“I believe it’s what’s keeping Z alive and conscious. At least for now,”
Jax confessed. “When I was with Aaliyah, I believe the bond allowed Z’s
soul to visit me. So while her body remained here with you, her soul traveled
to where I was. It would explain why Aaliyah never saw her or even sensed
her—because Z wasn’t actually there.”
“But I was physical,” I pointed out, the words rubbing against my throat
and causing me to cough once more. Lupe growled sharply, his large paw
moving to my back to rub up and down. Once I got myself under control, I
hurried on. “I had a tangible body when I was with you. At least it seemed as
if I did in my dreams.”
“Because you’re my mate,” Jax said simply, in a tone that left no room
for argument. And maybe…
Maybe that was explanation enough.
“And that bond between us…?” Killian continued.
“I don’t know for sure.” Jax said, our eyes meeting and a bolt of ice
slashing through my chest. “But I believe that we’re keeping her soul tethered
to her body. When she was unconscious, I felt…empty. As if I were missing
a crucial piece of myself. Did anyone else feel that way?” Jax twisted his
head to encompass all of the men in the room. When they nodded, seeming to
understand what he meant, he continued, “I believe that’s because Z’s soul
was slowly leaving her body. But between the seven of us, we were able to
keep it inside. I don’t know if I’m making any fucking sense—”
“You’re making complete sense,” Devlin said, interrupting Jax’s
explanation. His violet eyes flickered towards my face before immediately
turning away. His face hardened, his lips slashing into a grim line. “But how
long can this last?”
Surprisingly, it wasn’t Jax who answered, but Lupe. My shifter tightened
his arms around my stomach and placed his chin on my hair. The slightest bit
of pain erupted in my stomach, but I didn’t dare voice that out loud. Lupe
would lose his shit if he realized he’d hurt me, even if it was unintentional.
“Not long,” he growled. “I did a lot of research on mates when we first
met Z” —I couldn’t help but smile at the thought, knowing my shifter loved
to research everything there was to know about the world— “and I remember
reading a section about the bond between soulmates. There wasn’t a lot of
information, mainly because I didn’t know it was important at the time, but I
believe Z will begin to draw on our own souls to feed her own. And when
that happens, it’ll mean that she’ll only have a day or two, at most.”
“And we only have a day or two to make it back to the capital,” Dair
pointed out.
“So we go back to the capital, present Jax, and then find a cure,” I
decided. When all of them opened their mouths to protest, I spoke gently,
attempting to tamp their anger. “It’s the only thing I can think to do. We have
no idea what this poison even is or how to cure it. So we get home—”
“You won’t last that long!” Bash bellowed, straightening from where he
was indolently reclined against the wall. He pointed an accusatory finger at
my face. “If you would’ve trusted us to help you sooner—”
“Don’t act like you didn’t already know!” I snapped. “You told me
yourself that you knew—”
“Because I wanted you to feel comfortable telling us yourself—”
“So don’t go thinking—”
“Enough!” Lupe’s roar caused my hair to blow around my face, and when
I turned my attention down to his tree trunk arms, I found that coarse brown
hair had sprouted as his bear made an appearance.
“Lupe’s right,” Dair said. “Fighting will ge
t us nowhere.”
“But we need to do something!” I exclaimed in exasperation.
“How about you guys find the cure?” a deceptively calm and cheery
voice said from the doorway. We were all so distracted with each other that
we hadn’t even realized that someone had portaled into the room with us.
Devlin and Bash moved to stand protectively in front of us, protecting me
from view, and Lupe growled. His growl abruptly cut off when he realized
who was with us.
Atta, Lupe’s sister and Princess of the Shifters, smiled and waggled her
fingers.
“Attie? What the hell are you doing here?” Dair demanded, rolling his
wheelchair until he was beside Devlin.
“I followed you, dumbass.” Atta rolled her eyes, tossing a perfect orange
curl behind her ear. She nodded towards Dair’s tablet. “You didn’t turn off
the tracking feature.”
“Why would you—”
“Because I want to help,” Atta interjected. She turned towards me, and to
my confusion, guilt entered her pretty features, darkening her face. “I know
what’s wrong with Z. And…” She took a deep breath, her shoulders reaching
her ears before falling. “And I know how to cure her.”
FOUR
LUPE
My grip on my sister’s wrist wasn’t rough as I dragged her down
the hall, towards the second room we’d rented for the night.
None of my brothers would hurt her, but I knew that with their
tempers so high and frayed, it was best to get Atta away from them. Not that I
was much better.
She didn’t complain as she followed along behind me, her head lowered
and her vibrant hair cascading around her face to conceal her features.
When we finally reached the room, I didn’t hesitate to push it open and
all but barge inside. Atta followed behind me, though reluctantly, her feet
dragging against the garish green carpeting.
“Lupe, I can explain…”
“What the fuck were you thinking, Atta?” I bellowed, spinning around to
face her. My sister blanched, her skin turning as pale as moonlight, but she
didn’t say a single word to defend herself. How could she, after what she’d
done?
She’d known for days about Z’s condition. And more than that, she knew
how to cure her.
“I screwed up, I know that, but if you would just listen—”