Quickly now, I begin to move, my legs weak, my breath shallow.
A frantic impatience grows within me.
And then I turn the corner on to a street I don’t know. My eyes scan it quickly: the dusty pavement, the intricate wrought-iron railings that enclose balconies overhead, awnings stretching and casting the street in shadow. At every corner there is an exit – a warren of alleys shooting off into the ville nouvelle. A woman’s laughter drifts down from above. At a drain, a dog sniffs at something, the only living being here.
I stand there, looking down the empty street, feeling the pulse in my head, that rhythmic thumping, my eyes casting about, uncertain, wavering. It couldn’t be. It couldn’t. Grief begins to clamour at the edges of my thoughts, threatening to break through, and with it comes the doubt that clouds my judgement, telling me it cannot be – it cannot. But I am not yet ready to let the grief in. It lasts only an instant before being overshadowed by a new, insistent urgency. I suck in my breath. Then I start to run.
Acknowledgements
We would like to thank the teams at Curtis Brown, ICM Partners, Penguin UK/Michael Joseph and Henry Holt. In particular, we wish to thank: Jonathan Lloyd, an inspiring agent; his assistant Lucia Rae; Melissa Pimentel and her superb work as translation agent; Kari Stuart for her wise guidance; Stefanie Bierwerth for championing this book from the start and for her unflagging enthusiasm; Mari Evans for her careful steering; Steve Rubin and Aaron Schlechter for their vision for the book and consummate professionalism.
Finally, we would like to thank Aoife Perry and Conor Sweeney for their love, patience and support.
THE BEGINNING
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MICHAEL JOSEPH
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First published in the United States of America by Henry Holt and Company, LLC, 2014
First published in Great Britain by Michael Joseph 2014
Copyright © Karen Gillece and Paul Perry, 2014
The line from the Patrick Kavanagh poem ‘On Raglan Road’ is reprinted from Collected Poems, edited by Antoinette Quinn (Allen Lane, 2004), by the kind permission of the Trustees of the Estate of the late Katherine B. Kavanagh, through the Jonathan Williams Literary Agency
The moral right of the authors has been asserted
All rights reserved
ISBN: 978-1-405-91292-1