same to you. May the Force be with you, Obi-Wan Kenobi."
"May the Force be with you," Obi-Wan said. "Find them and gather them.
Make them safe."
With his hand on his new lightsaber, Ferus strode back up the ramp.
Obi-Wan stepped back onto the rocky soil of Tatooine. He retreated to the
relative shelter of a cliff overhang to watch as Ferus did a flight check
before departure.
A voice entered his head.
I never said trust was the currency of the Living Force. This time,
Qui-Gon sounded dry, amused. Obi-Wan smiled. "You didn't?"
I don't think I'd say anything that pompous. It sounds more like you.
Obi-Wan leaned against the rock wall. "It's good to be back."
Something has changed with you. I sense it.
"I know now why I wasn't ready to receive the training," Obi-Wan said.
"I had lost my connection to the Living Force. You taught me, my life had
taught me, Siri taught me... how to connect to the Living Force. I learned
to live with an open heart. But then Anakin turned to the dark side, and I
lost my perspective."
You felt only rage and blame and you turned it on yourself
"There was much to blame myself for."
Maybe.
"But still, I couldn't see my way out of it."
You bore all the responsibility for what happened. You went over and
over your mistakes. You must know this, Obi-Wan - it is Anakin who chose to
turn to the dark side. Grief did not push him there. You did not push him
there. He made the choice.
"There were so many things I should have seen. So many places I should
have corrected him."
Yes. But you must accept your regret the way you accept your mistakes.
Then move on.
"Someone told me that once, long ago."
The smile had come back into Qui-Gon's voice. Pity you didn't listen.
Obi-Wan felt something lift. Qui-Gon was right. Blame was crippling
him, and now it was gone.
He had learned to forgive himself. He had learned to open himself up
to pain again.
He was no longer the same man he was when he first exiled himself on
Tatooine. He had wanted to exile more than himself. He had wanted to exile
his heart.
Well, he would live here, and he would watch over Luke, but he
wouldn't stop living.
And he would start with forgiveness for his mistakes. He knew now that
lie was part of one great struggle. The galaxy did not turn on his
failures. It did not rest on his success.
The power of the Empire was awesome. Fearsome. But Luke and Leia were
alive. Ferus was alive, and maybe other Jedi were, too. Someday, a
rebellion would rise.
Obi-Wan watched the gray ship lift into the air and disappear from
sight. Ferus was the future. Ferus would take up the fight that Obi-Wan
could not join.
Obi-Wan readied his mind. He felt Qui-Gon's presence, steady and sure.
"I am ready to begin," he said.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
surface of Coruscant. Trever had never seen so much space traffic. The
lanes were dense with vehicles, all jockeying for position.
"Never seen anything like it, right?" Ferus asked.
"Never."
"It has just about anything you'd want," Ferus said, waving a hand at
the thousands of buildings. Trever felt awed. He'd never seen so many
lights, and behind every light was a business, a home, a dwelling. "And I
have contacts here. It might be a place for you to put down roots."
An ache twisted Trever's stomach. He'd thought he and Ferus were
partners. Sure, he'd thought about leaving him on Ilum, but he hadn't. Now
Ferus was taking the first occasion to dump him.
Ferus saw the look on his face. "What is it?"
Trever's face hardened. "Ready to unload the space garbage, huh?"
"No," Ferus said. "But I have a new goal now. It's dangerous. I don't
know where I'll be going, how I'll be living. I can't drag you into that."
"You're not dragging me."
"And you can't tell me that you haven't thought of leaving," Ferus
said. "There are easier ways to live."
"Okay, I've thought about it," Trever admitted. "And I can't say I'm
crazy about this Jedi-base business. But I don't know, I feel kind of stuck
with you. That's the awful, new-moon truth."
Ferus laughed. "Thanks. I guess."
Trever stretched out and propped his feet on the console. "So if you
don't mind, I'm not going anywhere just yet."
Ferus knew he should keep a low profile. He knew he should dock at the
most, crowded spaceport and lose himself in the vast crowds.
But he couldn't resist passing the Jedi Temple. He had to see.
It rose before him. At first, it seemed a mirage, unreal, a holo-
projection. Because this couldn't be real.
The towers - broken. The top half of the Temple spires - scorched by
fire.
It was ruined. The gracious rooms, the hallways, the gardens, the
fountains.
Gone.
A deep tremor went through him. His hands shook on the controls.
Beside him, even Trever was silent.
Had he really absorbed the loss of the Jedi until this moment? It
didn't seem so. Now it filled him up. He choked on his rage, on his pain.
On his sorrow.
They would be in danger on Coruscant every moment. He didn't know
where to start looking for the imprisoned Jedi. He didn't know which of his
old contacts were dead. Some could now be spies for the Empire. He was in a
new galaxy now, and he wasn't sure he had the tools to maneuver through it.
But with his eyes on the devastation of the Temple, he was more
certain than ever of his path.
Why him? The visions had accused him of arrogance. But Ferus knew the
answer was simple. He was the only one who could. He would find the last of
the Jedi and bring them home.