How to Start a Dead Cart
Source: Mr. X.
How to Putt with a Driver
Source: Mark Blakemore is a Class A PGA professional with more than 19 years of golf instruction experience. He is the owner and operator of www.PGAProfessional.com, which features free golf tips and articles, handicap calculators, and other golf resources.
How to Drive with a Putter
Source: Mark Blakemore.
How to Keep Score without a Pencil
Source: Paul Attard is a PGA golf professional and is the head of golf at the Brooksville Golf & Country Club in Brooksville, Florida.
How to Get a Club Out of a Tree
Source: Warren Lehr is director of golf at Paa-Ko Ridge Golf Club in Sandia Park, New Mexico.
How to Survive If You Run Out of Tees
Source: Paul Attard.
CHAPTER 3: DANGEROUS ANIMALS
How to Deal with an Alligator Near Your Ball
Source: Kent Vliet, Ph.D., is a faculty member of the Department of Zoology at the University of Florida, Gainesville. He serves as the Coordinator of Labs for the biological sciences program and has studied alligator behavior for twenty years.
How to Deal with a Snake Near Your Ball
Sources: Joseph B. Slowinski was an associate curator of herpetology in the Department of Herpetology at the California Academy of Sciences in San Francisco. He studied venomous snakes in Myanmar (Burma), where he collected cobras, Russell’s vipers, kraits, and sea snakes. • Guinevere Wogan is an assistant in the Department of Herpetology at the California Academy of Sciences.
How to Spot a Rabid Animal
Source: Centers for Disease Control.
How to Remove a Tick
Sources: Glen Needham, Ph.D., is the codirector of the Ohio State University Acarology Laboratory. • Janet Tobiassen, DVM, is a small-animal veterinarian with a doctorate in veterinary medicine from Oregon State University. She is a member of the American Veterinary Medical Association and serves as the Veterinary Medicine guide at about.com (vetmedicine.about.com).• The Lyme Disease Network of New Jersey, Inc., www.lymenet.org.
How to Survive a Bird Attack
Source: Patty Sprott is an ecologist who disseminates scientific findings of the Long Term Ecological Research Network, a National Science Foundation—funded program. She has studied and written about terrestrial/aquatic interactions among animals, wetland turtles, and bird attacks for the Florida Fish & Wildlife Department. She is online at www.lternet.edu.
How to Survive If You Hit a Beehive
Source: Eric H. Erickson, Jr., Ph.D., is director of the Carl Hayden Bee Research Center, part of the USDA’s Agricultural Research Service. He has 31 years of research experience and is the author of more than 150 scientific publications on honeybee biology and crop pollination.
How to Disarm an Irate Golfer
Source: George Arrington has instructed classes in self-defense for more than 25 years. He holds a fourth-degree black belt and formal teaching license in Danzan-Ryu Jujutsu and has also studied Karate, Aikido, T’ai-chi Ch’uan, Pa Kua, and Hsing-I.
How to Control Your Golf Rage
Sources: Lawrence Arnold, M.D., is a licensed psychotherapist who lives San Bernadino, California. • www. angermgmt.com is a website devoted to anger management. • Victor Bartok is a stress management specialist who lives in New York City.
CHAPTER 4: GOLFING EMERGENCIES
How to Prevent a Club from Flying Out of Your Hands
Sources: Wayne K. Clatterbuck is an associate professor in the department of Forestry, Wildlife & Fisheries at the University of Tennessee’s Agricultural Extension Service in Knoxville. • Warren Lehr.
How to Avoid Getting Hit by a Ball
Source: Randall McCracken.
How to Survive Being Hit in the Goolies
Sources: Roger Rosen, M.D., is a general practitioner who lives in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. • The American Red Cross First Aid and Safety Handbook by Kathleen Handal, M.D.
How to Carry an Injured Golfer
Source: James Li, M.D., practitioner in the Division of Emergency Medicine at Harvard Medical School in Cambridge, Massachusetts, is an instructor for the American College of Surgeons’ course for physicians, Advanced Trauma Life Support. He is the author of articles on emergency practice in remote settings.
How to Treat a Sprained Ankle
Source: James Li.
How to Treat a Blister
Sources: Roger Rosen. • The American Red Cross First Aid and Safety Handbook.
How to Treat Poison Ivy, Poison Oak, and Poison Sumac
Source: Susan Carol Hauser is the author of Outwitting Poison Ivy: How to Prevent and Treat the Effects of Poison Ivy, Poison Oak, and Poison Sumac, and Outwitting Ticks.She teaches writing at Bemidji State University in Minnesota and is online at www.intraart.com/hauser.
How to Treat Sunburn
Sources: Roger Rosen. • The American Red Cross First Aid and Safety Handbook. • The Complete Idiot’s Guide to First Aid Basics. • James Li.
How to Avoid Dehydration
Source: James Li.
How to Avoid Lightning
Sources: Dave Rust, Ph.D., is a lightning expert at the National Severe Storms Laboratory in Norman, Oklahoma. • John Ogren is the Warning Coordination Meteorologist for the National Weather Service and a specialist in weather safety issues. • Thunderstorms, Tornadoes, Lightning . . . Nature’s Most Severe Storms, a joint publication of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, the U.S. Department of Commerce, and the American Red Cross.
How to Survive a Tornado
Sources: Harold Brooks is head of the Mesoscale Applications Group of the National Severe Storms Laboratory in Norman, Oklahoma. He has researched tornadoes and their effects on people for 15 years. • Federal Emergency Management Agency. • National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration.
How to Put Out a Cigar Brush Fire
Sources: The U.S. National Park Service. • www.fire wise.org is a website devoted to fire-fighting techniques.
How to Cure a Golf Addiction
Source: Adapted from resource material provided by Narcotics Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous.
APPENDIX
Rules and Regulations
Sources: USGA Official Golf Rules. • Rules of Golf by Tom Watson. • The Illustrated Golf Rules Dictionary by Hadyn Rutter.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
The authors would like to extend their thanks and the promise of lifelong, good golf karma to all of the experts who contributed their knowledge and experience to this project. Without you we are nothing— or at least we’re a lot less knowledgeable.
Joshua Piven thanks all of the experts who contributed their time and golfing expertise, as well as the entire cast of the film Caddyshack for their inspiration, wisdom, and creative golf advice.
David “Fuzzy” Borgenicht thanks Jay Schaefer, Steve Mockus, Erin Slonaker, Terry Peterson, Brenda Brown, Joe Borgenicht, and the entire clubhouse at Chronicle Books and Quirk Productions. He would also like to thank his golf-nut grandmother, Helen Sandack, for not getting angry with him at age 10 when he “accidentally” hit her good golf balls into the road behind her house.
Jim Grace thanks his father, Bill Grace, for being an exceptional golfer, and an even better father. He also sends a huge “thank you” to the golf pros who took time out of their full summer days to answer his never-ending list of questions: Andrew Campbell, Jim Campbell, and Mark Heartfield. Finally, he would like to thank his wife, Lisa, and editor, Erin Slonaker, who now know more about golf than they ever wanted to.
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Joshua Piven is the co-author of three previous Worst-Case Scenario books, including The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook, which has been translated into more than 20 languages. He continues to work on his golf game, trying to bring his handicap down to double digits. He hopes to one day win all four majors in a single calendar year. He and his wife live in Philadelphia.
David Borgenicht is a writer, editor, and pre-duffer, as well as the co-author of The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook series. He lives in Philadelphia with his wife, and has been known to act as her caddie—or he at least carries her bags and follows her around a lot.
James Grace is a lawyer, golf fanatic, and the author of The Best Man’s Handbook, as well as the co-author of The Art of Spooning. Son of a lifelong golf lover, Jim held a golf club shortly after birth. He was an early master of miniature golf, and to this day he can perfectly time the windmill. He and his wife, Lisa, live in Boston, Massachusetts, with their two caddies-in-training, Avery and Cooper.
Brenda Brown is a freelance illustrator and cartoonist whose work has appeared in many books and major publications, including all the The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbooks, Reader’s Digest, the Saturday Evening Post, the National Enquirer, Federal Lawyer, and National Review. Her digital graphics have been incorporated into software programs developed by Adobe Systems, Deneba Software, Corel Corp, and many websites.
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