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    Ad Infinitum Book One Master of the Nine Steps

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    PART ONE

      Beauty-

      To some you are the aroma, rippling in the wind

      You come from the Alpha, to the righteous or the sinned

      You come to the Omega, for sadness to rescind

      To some you are the sweet, dancing on the tongue

      You come to those who eat, whether old or young

      You come to compose a treat in a world unstrung

      To some you are the sound, echoing words of cellar-door

      You come to astound with a whisper or a roar

      You come renowned to a world wanting you more

      To some you are the touch of tingling white velvet

      You come as a clutch with fingers of bluing gold sunset

      You come to touch the long untouched beset

      To some you are the sight of light shining through the shade

      You come from all the light ever made

      You come from the might that will never fade

      To some you are the wisdom of mellowing thought

      You come from the glorious kingdom forever sought

      You come from the only freedom of infinite plot

      To some you are a decreer of happiness

      And we, to be the seer of gladness

      To be freer of sadness,

      Are the agreer

      To the decreer -

      Our due

      Our duty

      To you

      Beauty

      I moved toward the fringe

      Where sand and jungle met

      And each boasted of their power

      Their danger their courage

      They laughed at one another

      And bragged of the tolls they had made

      I moved slowly,

      Patiently, yes patiently

      The numbering years

      It took me to learn

      The meaning of that word

      "But now

      It is with me"

      I thought

      As I came to a small dune

      "Patience—

      A simple way of life

      To give me

      A grasp

      On mental peace

      Patience—

      It has taught me through hope

      That

      Time is the acid that dissolves all problems"

      I climbed the last dune

      And there mingled the fringe

      There stood the lady

      White silk in the wind

      Silent I stood watching,

      Absorbing the moon

      As it spilled from her hair

      Silent I watched

      Watching her watch

      Slowly

      I moved closer

      Until

      I stood

      But a

      short distance away

      I scrutinized her being

      She had fine features,

      A small nose

      Delicate lips

      Her eyes shone, unusually

      And

      Through the fluttering white

      Her slender figure was easy to discern

      "Good evening"

      I said

      "I am a searcher

      And

      One from the desert,

      I am forever traveling

      And therefore know the ways

      Of lost trails"

      As I spoke

      I waited—intent

      Curious

      Of her reaction

      But

      She was not startled

      Nor did she cry out

      Nor run away

      In fear

      Instead

      She stood staring,

      Silently

      She watched the dunes

      Her being seemed a paradox—

      Radiating happiness

      Yet

      Her eyes

      Were of a despairing gaze, laughing

      "Perhaps

      We could talk awhile"

      I said—

      Still

      She was silent

      I waited

      And finally

      With friendliness

      I moved closer

      "Lady of the fringe"

      I asked

      "Have you some plight,

      And might I help?"

      Silence

      "Why the fringe?

      Why do you stand here

      Between

      The two extremes of danger—

      Jungle and desert?"

      I thought-

      "Perhaps

      She is one

      Of an expedition

      And

      Has become lost

      In the night

      Or

      Perhaps

      They are nearby

      Camped

      And she is merely watching

      As the moon rises

      Reflecting

      Radiance

      Upon the mountains

      The meadows (further down)

      The jungle

      And the desert"

      Still,

      She said nothing

      She radiated happiness

      And a feeling of peace,

      Tranquility

      Still

      She stood

      Watching the desert

      Then slowly

      She turned her gaze

      Toward the mountains;

      With moisture reflecting the moon,

      Shining

      And

      From her eye—

      A laughing eye

      Flowed a graceful tear

      She looked

      Back

      To the desert

      And,

      As if speaking to the sands,

      She said

      "*Our meeting tonight

      Was fated*"

      She watched the sea

      Of rolling sand

      For a very long time,

      The moonlit dunes

      Rolled forever

      Out of sight

      Then

      Without word

      Or warning

      She turned

      And moved toward the jungle

      "Just a moment"

      I said

      Not as easily

      As she had turned

      "Where are you going?"

      A feeling

      Undetermined

      Perplexing

      Came over me

      And suddenly

      I was afraid of losing her

      I had to hurry

      Trailing quickly

      As she was disappearing

      A dark enshrouded jungle

      Engulfing

      "Why not the meadows

      Where only the desert can boast?"

      I asked

      Upon catching up

      "Why not the mountains

      Where only the sand can toll

      As we walked along

      I pointed

      Down the fringe

      "There are mountains and meadows

      But a short distance

      From here"

      It seemed

      Only logical

      To walk a path

      Of less danger

      But still

      She said nothing

      Continuing

      Walking upon

      With darkness

      Closing in-

      Trees all around

      As I watched her figure

      Moving

      Swaying gently

      From side to side

      I wondered why the fear

      Of losing her -

      "What has motivated me,

      Why am I attracted

      Following

      This lady

      Into an unknown jungle?"

      Still

      Her step

      Never faltered

      Nor hesitated-

      She moved with sureness

      "It all seems strange—"

      I thought

      "The lady

      Of the fringe,

      A paradox

      Of emotions;


      The jungle,

      Entrance

      To a new garden;

      The meeting

      Of silence;

      And the motivation

      Of attraction"

      Strange

      But still

      I followed—

      Carefully stepping,

      Watching,

      Listening-

      Strange noises

      From the dense green

      In the dark

      "Not too many

      Have coursed

      This jungle"

      I thought

      As I observed

      The path—

      It was not a path

      Of bare ground

      Of plains

      And mountains—

      Instead

      Merely

      An opening

      Between the trees

      Carpeted with grass

      Providing

      A way

      Without crawling

      Nor climbing—

      A path without leisure

      Silently stalking

      Through the jungle

      "A path

      Difficult to follow—

      Yet,

      She moves

      With confidence

      Assured

      And never pausing

      It seems

      She has traversed

      This path

      Many times before

      And now

      She finds it

      Easily

      By night

      But why?"

      I wondered

      It was curious—

      A mystery

      In the new garden-

      But

      Would it help me

      Toward the sun?

      I could only

      Follow

      And find out

      So I continued

      On

      And the dark trees

      Passed

      Slowly by

      In the night

      As we passed

      Through the jungle

      And

      Into the shadows

      Of primordial law

      The moon—

      A dim

      And seldom seen

      Light

      Through the dense foliage

      Was not enough

      To keep me, at times, from groping

      But

      After awhile

      And several miles

      Gone—

      Step after step

      Twisting,

      Turning,

      Stumbling,

      And silence, still

      Upon the path—

      Acute

      With piercing noise;

      Following

      A hazy white

      In a jungle

      Of distinct black,

      Darkness of the night

      Enclosing—

      She stopped

      To rest—

      Sitting next

      To a fallen branch

      A widened area

      In the path

      I sat down

      Also to rest,

      Perhaps sleep

      The moon beamed

      Through the widened area

      Illuminating

      Again

      I noticed

      Her physical being

      "You are not

      Of the desert"

      I said

      "Your countenance

      Is too slim—

      Your hair

      Not black

      You are not

      Of the farmers

      Of the plains people

      You have a radiance

      Of tranquility

      About yourself

      Therefore

      Your are not

      Of the coastal cities—

      And that leaves

      Only the mountains—

      Your people

      Are those of pines

      And cabins

      And dirt roads

      Upon which

      To travel

      Is that

      Not true?"

      I waited

      A reply

      Long

      In coming

      I moved closer

      The night was dark

      With sudden noises

      Constant

      And startling

      Finally

      In a soft voice

      She said

      "*Yes,

      I am

      From the mountain nation*"

      But

      She said

      No more

      Her mood was sullen

      Depressed

      Her eyes gazed ahead

      Into the depth

      Of thought

      Conversation

      Seemed useless

      Still

      I talked

      Awhile-

      With mostly questions

      But her answers

      Mostly nods

      Told me little more

      Of her being

      So,

      Having nothing

      To do

      And

      Being tired

      I stretched out

      Upon the path

      Leaning my head

      Upon the branch—

      A soft pillow

      Upon a soft bed

      In a night

      Upon hard thoughts

      Pondering,

      Dreaming,

      Sleeping

      The night passed

      Without incident

      And in the morning

      When the sun

      Forced its light

      Through the dense growth

      And

      To the chattering

      Of little furry animals

      She rose—

      I rose—

      Stretching,

      Pulling tight muscles,

      Limbering

      "Good morning"

      I said

      Waiting,

      Listening

      For a friendlier relationship

      Than

      The night before

      But

      Her replied 'Good morning'

      Was one

      With a manner

      Of distance

      And hope

      Turned,

      Waiting for patience

      She looked ahead

      And once again

      Started

      Down the path—

      What else?—

      I followed

      Behind-

      This time

      Daylight

      And walking was easier

      Being able

      To see

      Without stumbling

      On the darkness

      Walls of trees

      In light

      With tentacled vines

      Creeping

      Leafy

      And little animals

      playing

      And fighting

      Running

      Through the tops

      And

      Sitting on the branches

      Colorful birds

      With long feathers

      Perched

      And adding

      To the jungle sound

      "Truly,

      A vibrant,

      Joyful scene

      Of life"

      I thought

      But I knew

      In reality

      That

      At that moment

      Danger

      Could be waiting

      Anywhere

      Along the path

      "Danger—

      Coagulating the air

      With

      The scent of blood"

      Instead of worrying

      About future possibilities

      However,

      I continued to watch

      Little animals

      Swinging through trees

      Running

      And jumping

      From branch to branch-

      A way of life

      Fo
    r the creature

      Of the habitat,

      Instinctively high—

      Above the trailing ways

      Of preying beasts

      As we walked along

      A thorny bush

      Protruded

      Intruding

      Bringing my attention

      Back to the path

      And the lady

      In front

      She swerved

      And

      I swerved

      Staying clear

      Of the needled limbs

      Stepping again

      Upon the path-

      The flowing white

      "Her white silk

      (Never torn)

      Is a signal for the beasts"

      I thought

      As I reached ahead

      And let

      The cool silk

      Slip through my fingers

      I tried to converse,

      To communicate,

      But still

      She said little

      "Why the despairing silence?"

      I wondered

      True—

      She spoke

      Now and then

      But

      There was a wall

      Of distance

      Making her words silent

      When finally reaching

      To communicate

      "What can be gained

      From this silence?"

      I asked myself - stooping

      As the path narrowed

      And found its way

      Beneath

      A low hanging branch

      "Nothing . . .

      I remember, once

      I was told

      By a Wise Man of the desert

      That

      'Experience is the teacher of Masters'

      These words

      Have remained

      In my memory

      For many years-

      Always conscious

      Of other thoughts;

      For

      In this

      And other lifetimes

      Experience

      Has shown me

      The way

      To higher truths

      As even now

      The experience of silence

      Whispers

      In my mind

      The ways

      Of the path

      Of communication

      How can a man

      Live

      Without it?

      There is

      No way,

      For

      All paths

      Coincide

      With the path

      Of communication-

      When treading

      Upon a path,

      Whether

      Slowly or quickly

      Whether

      Backward or forward,

      A man listens-

      He talks-

      But more importantly

      He communicates

      He receives

      And gives

      Of himself:

      To all who are willing

      And to all with whom he is willing;

      To himself

      Who questions, willingly,

      In time of need

      And

      When paths need to be chosen;

      To Nature

      Who is always ready to communicate;

      And

      To God-

      Love eternal

      Who always IS

      But only

      When he ceases communication

      Does he stop

      Upon the path

      And

      Listening

      He hears nothing"

      I paused

      In mental thought

      A moment-

      A snake

      Slithered across the path

      In front of the lady-

      Who,

      Unheeding,

      Continued on

      Without hesitation

      "Yes,

      Only man

      Can stop upon the path

      When

      Other men

      Or self

      Or Nature

      Or God

      Speak

      But how sad

      To turn off

      These beings composing life

      How sad—

      To turn to misery

      For love - nonexistent

      When he is unwilling

      To communicate

      With other men

      To turn to ignorance

      For answers - nonexistent

      When he is unwilling

      To communicate

      With himself

      To turn to desolation

      For beauty - nonexistent

      When he is unwilling

      To communicate

      With Nature

      When he unwilling

      To listen-

      Touching tips

      The soft noise

      Of butterfly wings;

      To listen-

      The smell,

      Sage

      The desert air

      In the rain;

      To listen-

      The taste,

      The blueberry

      Of the forest;

      To listen-

      To the sun

      When

      It brings him

      Warmth

      To turn to the void

      For the nonexistent being

      When he is unwilling

      To communicate with God—

      Yet,

      How untrue

      For

      However slowly

      Man moves

      Upon the path of communication

      With God-

      He cannot stop

      Completely

      For to do so

      Would make him

      Nonexistent-

      Everything would cease

      Yes—

      Communication

      Is being

      But

      Sometimes

      Communication

      Is poor

      Or slow

      Or sometimes

      When there is no desire

      (By man)

      There is

      No communication

      (Except with God)"

      Again

      I asked myself

      "What can be gained

      From the lack

      Of communication?—

      Nothing

      Perhaps

      I shall leave this lady

      Once through the jungle"

      My thoughts of communication

      Dispersed

      As the path widened

      And merged

      Into a jungle opening

      Within

      And far

      To the right—

      A large pool of water

      "Probably

      A watering hole

      (Common)

      For the animals"

      I thought

      The path

      Trailed

      Thirty yards to the right

      Of the pool

      Crossing the opening

      And disappearing

      Into the trees

      Between the path and pool

      Pointing toward the sky

      The green stems

      Of grass

      And all around

      The opening

      Trees

      And vines

      And bushes

      The sun shone

      Through

      Reaching ahead

      I put my hand

      On her shoulder-

      The other hand

      In gesture

      Indicated

      A grassy area

      Next to the pool

      "A relief

      For weary travelers"

      I said

      "Let us drink

      The water - life today

      For the search tomorrow"

      But as I said it

      A mental effort

      Was needed

      To free the last word from my tongue,


      My being became tense—

      For

      At that moment

      A large beast of prey

      Came bounding

      From the underbrush

      He stopped,

      Becoming intent

      Immediately

      He perceived us

      His claws

      Several inches long

      Dug the ground

      In anticipation

      His fangs gleamed

      From the flow

      Of saliva

      His snarl

      Lowered the sound

      In his throat

      And raised his lips

      (Showing masticators)

      Taut muscles

      Were ready

      "So,

      Here is a beast

      Who would bring

      An end

      To my jungle path

      It could have ended

      Back there

      Or

      Further ahead-

      But it didn't

      And it won't

      Instead

      It ends here"

      I picked up a weapon—

      The only weapon—

      A large rock

      Within a tight grip

      Whitened my knuckles

      "Quick"

      I said

      In a quiet, pointed voice

      "Run

      For that tree"

      My finger indicated

      A tree

      Twenty yards distant—

      Low hanging branches

      And strong vines

      Clinging

      Enticing escape

      But

      Instead of running

      And to my amazement

      She continued

      Indifference

      As she looked

      Upon the beast

      "*It is not

      His will

      Nor ours

      For the grievance

      Of destruction*"

      She said

      As she looked back

      To the path

      In front

      And continued

      To walk

      Her average gait

      Upon

      But

      Her words

      Offered no comfort

      I gripped the rock

      Tighter

      Walking

      Befuddled

      Not knowing

      As I stared

      At the beast—

      Dimness of life

      Surrounded by yellow

      And golden fur

      Jowls slavered

      And fangs

      Glistening

      In the sunlight

      His beady eyes

      Watching

      Waiting

      The right moment

      "For the lady

      A tearing and rending

      Death of tears

      And any time

      Now

      Will be the time"

      I thought

      The tree was then

      Fifteen yards

      Away—

      "I will grab

      The lady

      And run

      For the nearest branch

      It should be strong

      Enough—

      And perhaps . . ."

      But

      My decision

      Of action

      Came too late—

      The beast

      Made his move

      Silence in stride

      Bounding

      Leaping

      Golden

      Through the air

      Sleek

      Rippling strength

      The power to rip

      To kill

      In order to live

      To search

      To eat the food

      From the light

      Of the sun

      (Though

      I will fight

      For life—

      Perhaps

      Survive)

      To know death

      Knowing life

      And living fuller

      To let loose

      Living

      Higher

      Living again

      But begins the day

      And birth brings

      A time

      Again

      Within the cell

      I waited

      The agony of rending

      The moment

      Before parting-

      But all

      For the unexpected

      And wonder

      Bounding—

      Not the tearing

      Of death

      Instead

      He lay

      Beside the path

      Preening himself

      A bass purr

      Sang

      From his throat

      "But what is this?"

      I wondered

      And still

      In doubt

      And

      Gripping

      I retained my hold

      On the rock

      The lady

      Looked over

      Her shoulder,

      Momentarily

      "*I look

      To the past

      And

      I see you

      Searching*"

      She said

      Ignoring the beast

      "*Searching

      For an answer

      To life -

      Searching for the sun—

      Infinite wisdom*"

      She paused

      Lengthy,

      As we walked

      And gradually

      (Walking too slow)

      We passed

      From the jungle opening

      "The beast has recently mealed

      On some other victim"

      I thought

      As we moved

      Into the crowded jungle

      Green

      The lady continued

      "*A poet

      Once wrote a poem

      Which describes the life

      Of the searcher:

      'We are running upon the waves of time

      Swimming through the sands of life

      Climbing the mountain of perfection

      How high

      How long the climb

      And oh to slip

      To woe

      To cry

      To die

      Then to struggle forward

      Drudging moving tiring

      Trudging pushing pulling

      But look-

      Beating heart

      Faster,

      So fast

      For there it is:

      The top

      Now,

      Move quickly—

      Hurry

      So close

      At last

      Reaching

      Pulling

      Climbing

      Up

      Upon the top

      But look-

      Another peak

      A higher peak

      (A new low

      In the mind)

      But don't cry

      Keep moving-

      Laugh and love

      Have patience

      For this is the life

      Living

      And on a day

      Someday

      Out of the infinite chain of mountains

      Will come your mountain

      The wisdom

      To set you free

      Again

      With the infinite mode of being'*"

      As she finished

      She paused

      For a mere moment

      And turned her head—

      From her twinkling eyes

      She laughed,

      And then moved on

      "Today

      We might

      Truthfully

      Give a little prayer of thanks"

      I said

      She moved

      Silent

      I raised

      My voice

      "How is it

      You sound like the voice of Ad Infinitum

      Speaking
    many truths

      But telling me little?"

      Silence

      "How can we be friends"

      I asked

      "If you continue

      Your silent ways?"

      Still

      She said nothing

      As she led

      Upon the path

      "Even discomfort

      Can be pleasant

      With a joyful companion"

      I thought

      As I looked around

      At the jungle

      "Evidently, however,

      Something

      Has disturbed her

      And she has built

      A mental wall

      To keep out the world

      Still,

      I shall wait,

      In following,

      Awhile longer

      And if my patience

      Yields no companion

      Then I shall travel,

      Again,

      Alone

      In my quest

      For the sun"

      We continued on

      Both of us

      In silence

      Tiny

      Next to the trees

      Looming over

      Twisting

      Turning

      Stooping limbs

      And moss

      Hanging down

      The day was long

      In passing-

      Fatiguing

      Sweating

      And resting only

      For short spaces

      Of time;

      Or stopping

      To pluck

      To eat

      Small golden colored berries

      Growing upon bushes

      And

      The seldom trod path

      Continued under our feet

      The shining sun

      Beamed

      Shining rays

      Upon endless vasts of green

      Two moving specks

      Moved

      Upon the path

      There was

      Green closing green

      Closing in

      Upon the tiny path

      The path narrowed

      At times

      And disappeared into a myriad

      Of vines

      Shrubs

      And grasses

      Still

      Her graceful figure

      Always moved easily

      Over the thorns

      And under the moss swinging trees

      Around the quicksand

      And

      Through the parting bushes

      As I continued

      To watch her

      My mind passed

      Into meditation

      And

      As we passed

      Upon the path

      The day passed

      With part of me

      Always watching

      Very wary

      Of the jaws

      Of the moving jungle-

      But the path

      Wound its way

      Through danger

      And yielded

      No more

      Beasts of prey

      And the sun

      Traveling slow

      Upon its path

      Through the sky

      Found its way

      To the horizon

      Yielding

      The twilight

      And dusk

      Before the dark

      The night came—

      Uneventful

      It passed

      Lying upon

      A bed of moss

      Beneath a tree

      As the jungle sounds

      Communicated

      Voicing

      The sounds of life—

      Disturbing

      But sleep

      Came easily

      After the long day

      And then

      The dawn

      And rising

      Again

      To the morning note

      Of jungle birds

      Chattering, furry creatures

      And cry of victims;

      We rose

      Again

      To trail

      Upon the path

      It seemed

      The new day

      Would bring

      Another

      Journey

      With only

      The excitement

      Of danger

      And always trudging

      Through jungle ways

      But soon

      (Traveling not far)

      Toward the end

      Of the new dawn

      The jungle ended-

      And the path laughed its way away

      "This is good"

      I thought

      "Now I can travel

      A straighter Path

      Easier-

      And the sun

      Is on the horizon"

     


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