I once was a slip.
120
Foes I sniff, when I have less to shout
or murmur. Pals alone enormous sounds
downward & up bring real.
Loss, deaths, terror. Over & out,
beloved: thanks for cabbage on my wounds:
I’ll feed you how I feel:—
of avocado moist with lemon, yea
formaldehyde & rotting sardines O
in our appointed time
I would I could a touch more fully say
my consentless mind. The senses are below,
which in this air sublime
do I repudiate. But foes I sniff!
My nose in all directions! I be so brave
I creep into an Arctic cave
for the rectal temperature of the biggest bear,
hibernating—in my left hand sugar.
I totter to the lip of the cliff.
121
Grief is fatiguing. He is out of it,
the whole humiliating Human round,
out of this & that.
He made a-many hearts go pit-a-pat
who now need never mind his nostril-hair
nor a critical error laid bare.
He endured fifty years. He was Randall Jarrell
and wrote a-many books & he wrote well.
Peace to the bearded corpse.
His last book was his best. His wives loved him.
He saw in the forest something coming, grim,
but did not change his purpose.
Honest & cruel, peace now to his soul.
He never loved his body, being full of dents.
A wrinkled peace to this good man.
Henry is half in love with one of his students
and the sad process continues to the whole
as it swarmed & began.
122
He published his girl’s bottom in staid pages
of an old weekly. Where will next his rages
ridiculous Henry land?
Tranquil & chaste, de-hammocked, he descended—
upon which note the fable should have ended—
towards the ground, and
while fable wound itself upon him thick
and coats upon his tongue formed, white, terrific:
he stretched out still.
Assembled bands to do obsequious music
at hopeless noon. He bayed before he obeyed,
doing at last their will.
This seemed perhaps one of the best of dogs
during his barking. Many thronged & lapped
at his delicious stone.
Cats to a distance kept—one of their own—
having in mind that down he lay & napped
in the realm of whiskers & fogs.
123
Dapples my floor the eastern sun, my house faces north,
I have nothing to say except that it dapples my floor
and it would dapple me
if I lay on that floor, as-well-forthwith
I have done, trying well to mount a thought
not carelessly
in times forgotten, except by the New York Times
which can’t forget. There is always the morgue.
There are men in the morgue.
These men have access. Sleepless, in position,
they dream the past forever
Colossal in the dawn comes the second light
we do all die, in the floor, in the morgue
and we must die forever, c’est la mort
a heady brilliance
the ultimate gloire
post-mach, probably in underwear
as we met each other once.
124
Behold I bring you tidings of great joy—
especially now that the snow & gale are still—
for Henry is delivered.
Not only is he delivered from the gale
but he has a little one. He’s out of jail
also. It is a boy.
Henry’s pleasure in this unusual event
reminds me of the extra told at Hollywood & Vine
that TV cameras
were focussed on him personally then & there
and ‘Just a few words … Is it what you meant?
Was there a genuine sign?’
Couvade was always Henry’s favourite custom,
better than the bride biting off the penises, pal,
remember? All the brothers
marrying her in turn & dying mutilated
until the youngest put in instead a crowbar, pal,
125
Bards freezing, naked, up to the neck in water,
wholly in dark, time limited, different from
initiations now:
the class in writing, clothed & dry & light,
unlimited time, till Poetry takes some,
nobody reads them though,
no trumpets, no solemn instauration, no change;
no commissions, ladies high in soulful praise
(pal) none,
costumes as usual, turtleneck sweaters, loafers,
in & among the busy Many who brays
art is if anything fun.
I say the subject was given as of old,
prescribed the technical treatment, tests really tests
were set by the masters & graded.
I say the paralyzed fear lest one’s not one
is back with us forever, worsts & bests
spring for the public, faded.
126
A Thurn
Among them marble where the man may lie
lie chieftains grand in final phase, or pause,
‘O rare Ben Jonson’,
dictator too, & the thinky other Johnson,
dictator too, backhanders down of laws,
men of fears, weird & sly.
Not of these least is borne to rest.
If grandeur & mettle prompted his lone journey
neither oh crowded shelves
nor this slab I celebrates attest
his complex slow fame forever (more or less).
I imagine the Abbey
among their wonders will be glad of him
whom some are sorry for his griefs across the world
grievously understated
and grateful for that bounty, for bright whims
of heavy mind across the tiresome world
which the tiresome world debated, complicated.
127
Again, his friend’s death made the man sit still
and freeze inside—his daughter won first prize—
his wife scowled over at him—
It seemed to be Hallowe’en.
His friend’s death had been adjudged suicide,
which dangles a trail
longer than Henry’s chill, longer than his loss
and longer than the letter that he wrote
that day to the widow
to find out what the hell had happened thus.
All souls converge upon a hopeless mote
tonight, as though
the throngs of souls in hopeless pain rise up
to say they cannot care, to say they abide
whatever is to come.
My air is flung with souls which will not stop
and among them hangs a soul that has not died
and refuses to come home.
128
A hemorrhage of his left ear of Good Friday—
so help me Jesus—then made funny too
the other, further one.
There must have been a bit. Sheets scrubbed away
soon all but three nails. Doctors in this city O
will not (his wife cried) come.
Perhaps he’s for it. If that Filipino doc
had diagnosed ah here in Washington
that ear-infection ha
he’d ha
ve been grounded, so in a hall for the ill
in Southern California, they opined.
The cabins at eight thou’
are pressurized, they swore, my love, bad for—
ten days ago—a dim & bloody ear,
or ears.
They say are sympathetic, ears, & hears
more than they should or
did.
129
Thin as a sheet his mother came to him
during the screaming evenings after he did it,
touched F.J.’s dead hand.
The parlour was dark, he was the first pall-bearer in,
he gave himself a dare & then did it,
the thing was quite unplanned,
riots for Henry the unstructured dead,
his older playmate fouled, reaching for him
and never will he be free
from the older boy who died by the cottonwood
& now is to be planted, wise & slim,
as part of Henry’s history.
Christ waits. That boy was good beyond his years,
he served at Mass like Henry, he never did
one extreme thing wrong
but tender his cold hand, latent with Henry’s fears
to Henry’s shocking touch, whereat he fled
and woke screaming, young & strong.
130
When I saw my friend covered with blood, I thought
This is the end of the dream, now I’ll wake up.
That was more years ago
than I care to reckon, and my friend is not
dying but adhering to an élite group
in California O.
Why did I never wake, when covered with blood
I saw my fearful friend, his nerves are bad
with the large strain of moving,
I see his motions, stretcht on his own rack,
our book is coming out in paperback,
Henry has not ceased loving
but wishes all that blood would flow away
leaving his friend crisp, ready for all
in the new world O.
I see him brace, and on that note I pray
the blood recede like an old folderol
and he spring up & go.
131
Come touch me baby in his waking dream
disordered Henry murmured. I’ll read you Hegel
and that will hurt your mind
I can’t remember when you were unkind
but I will clear that block, I’ll set you on fire
along with our babies
to save them up the high & ruined stairs,
my growing daughters. I am insane, I think,
they say & act so.
But then they let me out, and I must save them,
High fires will help, at this time, in my affairs.
I am insane, I know
and many of my close friends were half-sane
I see the rorschach for the dead on its way
Prop them up!
Trade us a lesson, pour me down a sink
I swear I’ll love her always, like a drink
Let pass from me this cup
132
A Small Dream
It was only a small dream of the Golden World,
now you trot off to bed. I’ll turn the machine off,
you’ve danced & trickt us enough.
Unintelligible whines & imprecations, hurled
from the second floor, fail to impress your mother
and I am the only other
and I say go to bed! We’ll meet tomorrow,
acres of threats dissolve into a smile,
you’ll be the Little Baby
again, while I pursue my path of sorrow
& bodies, bodies, to be carried a mile
& dropt. Maybe
if frozen slush will represent the soul
which is to represented in the hereafter
I ask for a decree
dooming my bitter enemies to laughter
advanced against them. If the dream was small
it was my dream also, Henry’s.
133
As he grew famous—ah, but what is fame?—
he lost his old obsession with his name,
things seemed to matter less,
including the fame—a television team came
from another country to make a film of him
which did not him distress:
he enjoyed the hard work & he was good at that,
so they all said—the charming Englishmen
among the camera & the lights
mathematically wandered in his pub & livingroom
doing their duty, as too he did it,
but where are the delights
of long-for fame, unless fame makes him feel easy?
I am cold & weary, said Henry, fame makes me feel lazy,
yet I must do my best.
It doesn’t matter, truly. It doesn’t matter truly.
It seems to be solely a matter of continuing Henry
voicing & obsessed.
134
Sick at 6 & sick again at 9
was Henry’s gloomy Monday morning oh.
Still he had to lecture.
They waited, his little children, for stricken Henry
to rise up yet once more again and come oh.
They figured he was a fixture,
nuts to their bolts, keys to their bloody locks.
One day the whole affair will fall apart
with a rustle of fire,
a wrestle of undoing, as of tossed clocks,
and somewhere not far off a broken heart
for hire.
He had smoked a pack of cigarettes by 10
& was ready to go. Peace to his ashes then,
poor Henry,
with all this gas & shit blowing through it
four times in 2 hours, his tail ached.
He arose, benign, & performed.
135
I heard said ‘Cats that walk by their wild lone’
but Henry had need of friends. They disappeared
Shall I follow my dream?
Clothes disappeared in a backward sliding, zones
shot into view, pocked, exact & weird:
who is what he seem?
I will tell you now a story about Speck:
after other cuts, he put the knife in her eye,
one of the eight:
he was troubled, missionary: and Whitman
of the tower murdered his wife & mother
before (mercy-killings) he set out.
Not every shot went in. But most went in:
in just over an hour
with the tumor thudding in his brain
he killed 13, hit 33:
his empty father said he taught him to respect guns
(not persons).
136
Whíle his wife earned the living, Rabbi Henry
studied the Torah, writing commentaries
more likely to be burnt than printed.
It was rumoured that they needed revision.
Smiling, kissing, he bent his head not with ‘Please’
but with austere requests barely hinted,
like a dog with a bone he worried the Sacred Book
and often taught its fringes.
Imperishable enthusiasms.
I have only one request to make of the Lord,
that I may no longer have to earn my living as a rabbi
‘Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image’
The sage said ‘I merit long life if only because
I have never left bread-crumbs lying on the ground.
We were tested yesterday & are sound,
Henry’s lady & Henry.
It all centered in the end on the suicide
in which I am an expert, deep & wide.’
137
Many’s the dawn sad Henry has seen in,
many’s the sun has lit
his slouch to sleep,
many’s a song to sing or vigil keep
of thought if you’re made that way.
An incantation comes in nines: ‘tahn . . bray’:
heroes’ bodies, in circles, thin,
collapsing. I don’t understand this dream,
said Henry to himself in slippers: why,
things are going to pieces.
The furious bonzes sacked vast the Khmer temple
and thought fled: into the jungle. It was that simple.
Long after, spread the treatises.
Learned & otherelse, upon the ruins.
How is it faith finds ever matters rough?
My honey must flow off in the great rains,
as all the parts thereto do thereto belong
ha, and we are pitched toward the last love,
the last dream, the last song.
138
Combat Assignment
Henry, moot, grunted. Like a lily of the valley
he dangled in the breeze of dreadful thought.
Look for the worst!
We came toward the world, did we not, accursed,
as witness crimes, but some craved out of that
like a Calcutta alley.
Grope for the cause. That won’t be far away.
The Secretary of the Interior
may dog it from his grasp, or
we are divided together for the day
and all the some who have to say to me
are comfortably established, see?
There happened to occur a roar in the suctions
which rolled off the atmosphere, so we all gasped.
We do not know.
Perhaps it’s as well the atmosphere rolled away:
think Dutch of the problems that would solve
including ours.
On which have sat so many distinguished friends,
old leather chair, take rest.
Your guts are showing.
139
Green grieves the Prince over his girl forgone
In the mists of the Hebrew & the Irish past
in the mists of the American past
I see him visit her, riding past at dawn
to watch her silver hair in a turret high
why did he leave her?
Grumbled to himself upon this ground the Rabbi
months. The knowing Books opened themselves in vain.