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    Hotel Lautréamont

    Page 5
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      Now it is the turn of the mountain god

      but he refuses to play. The blue snow returns. Shopfronts are boarded up.

      Still one should never be in a hurry to end, to contrast the ending

      with the articulations that have gone before. True, these are merely space,

      but one in which lives can take on a single and sparing sharpness

      that is an education in itself. This is one life

      as we thought it over, and there are other songs, some too true to mention,

      others of little weight, optional, cut from most editions

      but waiting silently in place where they are expected.

      The story falls, mountains conspire, brooks hesitate,

      the storm endures.

      THE WHITE SHIRT

      Suddenly all is quiet again.

      I want to talk about something.

      It’s not that easy. Pay no attention.

      No amount of conservation affects

      the wrinkled gourd. The dry shore.

      A combustion engine

      means it’s not working.

      Thing of the past,

      you in your limits,

      growing,

      my working place.

      The band is up.

      But if it wasn’t for changes,

      where would we go? Just

      having the illusion is enough.

      But charge them for it;

      serve immediately.

      BAKED ALASKA

      I/

      It will do. It’s not

      perfect, but it will do

      until something better comes along.

      It’s not perfect.

      It stinks. How are we

      going to get out of having it

      until something comes along, some ride

      or other? That will return us

      to the nominative case, shipshape and easy.

      O but how long are you going to wait

      for what you are waiting for, for

      whatever is to come? Not

      for long, you may be sure.

      It may be here already.

      Have you checked the mailbox today?

      Sure I have, but listen.

      I know what comes, comes.

      I am prepared

      to occupy my share of days,

      knowing I can’t have all of them. What is, is

      coming over here to find you

      missing, all or in part. Or you read me

      one small item out of the newspaper

      as though it would stand for today.

      I refuse to open your box of crayons. Oh yes, I know

      there may be something new in some combination

      of styles, some gift in adding the addled

      colors to our pate. But it’s just too mush

      for me. It isn’t that I necessarily

      set out on the trail of a new theory

      that could liberate us from our shoes as we walked.

      It’s rather that the apartment comes to an end

      in a small, pinched frown of shadow. He walked

      through the wood, as a child. He will walk

      on somebody’s street in the days that come after.

      He’s noted as a problem child, an ignoramus;

      therefore why can you not accept him in

      your arms, girdled with silver and black

      orchids, feed him everyday food?

      Who says he likes cuttlebone?

      But you get the idea, the idea

      is to humor him for what vexations

      may hatch from the stone attitude

      that follows and clears the head, like a sneeze.

      It’s cozy to cuddle up to him,

      not so much for warmth as that brains

      are scarce, and two will have to do.

      It takes two to tango,

      it is written, and much

      in the way of dragons’ teeth after that,

      and then the ad hoc population that arises

      on stilts, ready to greet or destroy us, it

      doesn’t matter which, not quite yet, at least.

      Then when the spent avenger

      turns tail you know it had all to do with

      you, that discharge of fortunes

      out of firecrackers, like farts. And who’s to say

      you don’t get the one that belongs to you?

      But he speaks, always, in terms of perfection,

      of what we were going to have

      if only he hadn’t gotten busy and done something about it, yea,

      and turned us back into ourselves

      with something missing. And as oarsmen

      paddle a scull downstream with phenomenal speed,

      so he, in his cape, queries:

      Is the last one all right? I know

      I keep speaking of the last one, but is it all right?

      For only after an infinite series

      has eluded us, does the portrait

      of the boy make sense, and then such a triangular one:

      he might have been a minaret, or a seagull.

      He laid that on the car’s radiator

      and when you turned around it is gone.

      II/

      Some time later, in Provence,

      you waxed enthusiastic about the tail

      piece in a book, gosh how they

      don’t make them like that in this century, any more.

      They had a fiber then that doesn’t exist now.

      That’s all you can do about it.

      Sensing this, in the sopping diaspora, many a tanglefoot

      waits, stars bloom at scalloped edges

      of no thing, and it begins to

      bleed, like a bomb or bordello.

      The theme, unscathed,

      with nothing to attach it to.

      But like I was saying, probably some of us were encouraged

      by a momentary freshness in the air

      that proved attractive, once we had dwelt in

      it, and bathed for many years

      our temples in its essence. Listen, memory:

      do this one thing for me

      and I’ll never ask you again for anything else:

      just tell me how it began! What

      were the weeds that got caught in the spokes

      as it was starting up, the time the brakeshaft split

      and about all the little monsters that were willing to sit

      on the top of your tit, or index finger.

      How in the end sunshine prevailed—

      but what was that welling in between?

      those bubbles

      that proceeded from nowhere—surely there must be a source?

      Because if there isn’t it means that we haven’t paid

      for this ticket, and will be stopped at the exit-gate

      and sent back on a return journey through ploughed fields

      to not necessarily the starting place, that house

      we can hardly remember, with the plangent

      rose-patterned curtains.

      And so in turn he who gets locked up is lost

      too, and must watch a boat nudge the pier

      outside his window, forever, and for aye,

      and the nose, the throat will be stopped

      by absolutely correct memories of what did

      we think we were doing when it all began happening,

      down the lanes, across vales, out into the open city street.

      And those it chooses can always say

      it’s easy, once you learn it, like a language,

      and can’t be dislodged thereafter.

      In all your attractive worldliness, do you consider

      the items crossed off the shopping list,

      never to breathe again until the day

      of bereavement stands open and naked like a woman

      on a front porch, and do those you hobnob

      with have any say or leverage in the matter?

      Surely it feels like a child’s feet propel us along

      until everyone
    can explain.

      Hell, it’s only a ladder: structure

      brought us here, and will be here when we’re

      honeycombs emptied of bees, and can say

      that’s all there is to say, babe; make it a good one

      for me.

      III/

      And when the hectic

      light leaches upward into rolls of dark cloud,

      there will no longer be a contrast between thinking

      and daily living. Light will be something even,

      if remorseful, then. I say, swivel

      your chair around, something cares, not the lamps purling

      in the dark river, not the hot feet on the grass,

      nor the cake emerging from the oven, nor the silver

      trumpets on the sand: only a lining

      that dictates the separation of this you from this some other,

      and, in memorializing, drools. And if the hospice

      gets over you this will be your magpie, this old hat,

      when all is said, and done. No coffee, no rolls—

      only a system of values, like the one printed

      beside your height as it was measured as you grew

      from child to urchin to young adult

      and so on, back into the stitched wilderness

      of sobs, sighs, songs, bells ringing, athirst

      for whatever could be discerned in the glacier:

      tale, or tragedy, or talc, that backlit

      these choices before we learned to talk,

      and so is a presence now, a posture like a chimney

      that all men take to work with them

      and that all see with our own eyes just

      as the door is shutting, O shaft of light, O excellent, O irascible.

      PRIVATE SYNTAX

      The obligation I have assumed is an unprepossessing one.

      I’ll be glad to get back to the city of painted scenery

      and horse-drawn carts, before resuming the march toward

      new standards of equality. Rain washes in the chimney;

      the immense task-force that drew us out into unwise confidences

      repeats the crescendo in neon: this is about as sanguinary

      as it gets, so why tremble on the edge? Leap, if you must,

      only don’t blame the processus for what you brought on yourself,

      tarring others too with the brush of a rabid potential music

      that cares for itself and dislikes oil-aureoled puddles

      as much as it does human experimentation. Whose style degrades your

      ruminating on it all until you think you’ve come up with something:

      anything, don’t share it. Don’t be special, silly or civil.

      In time grapes fatten. Waves accept one more chore, or shore,

      and everything gets done, is distributed equally into your plan

      of reducing the workload and actually making some money, for a change.

      NOT NOW BUT IN FORTY-FIVE MINUTES

      Anyway, sleep came that day

      not so that you’d notice

      what was silhouetted against what—was it the pillow or the bags

      over by that glass of water?

      I mean we’re not getting into androgyny?

      You better believe it. Those towers say

      the gift of day is wholesale

      to men

      under the awning, the annoyed shopkeeper’s

      gesture of putting something right

      after you’ve touched it can be

      believed

      No it was an altogether more interesting case.

      We often said throw out the baby with the bathwater

      eavesdroppers seldom hear good of themselves

      the plant stinks

      lick honey through a cleft stick.

      Other than that it is no premise to you

      in time it will be calm be gay

      stay away from others’ questions

      they will have you before time too

      with the pilgrim’s classic good taste

      I’m spattered I am brunch

      I know how to solve

      you I love you

      with that the cat

      walked last into an open barrier

      neither time nor spires were demeaning

      I know I planned

      it me to be

      all over you

      I thank a thousand dunces for this webbed, precious

      gift of knowledge

      to no man’s height I am authorized

      to stay here after the handcuffs

      and the lard I am chilled

      by the reflection

      of you

      and the stain stays

      It was on the beautiful part

      must now be read with it

      I am all apple

      to thank

      you

      No one knows what we do when we’re apart

      A veil veins the days of our separate living

      when we’re in trouble we’re back in class

      but now to do those tedious sums

      requires having loved and in the course of it

      shrugged

      and if they came by that schoolhouse on such-and-such a day

      everything would be normal from the dozing stove

      to the pillar of milk on the door

      and we should all get together afterward

      put our other concerns

      on the table

      and we should all french kiss get elected

      not to be trouble

      to stand up in reason’s roar

      IN ANOTHER TIME

      Actually it was because you stopped,

      but there was no need to,

      the forest wasn’t too dark, and yet,

      you stopped and then went on a little way

      as though to embarrass the idea of stopping.

      By then the everything

      was involved in night:

      cars were discharging patrons in front of theaters

      where light swelled, then contracted

      into tiny slivers. Then listened.

      A kind of powdered suburban poetry fits

      the description, and isn’t

      precisely it. There was no briskness,

      yet things got quickly done.

      The cartoon era of my early life

      became the printed sheaves and look:

      what’s printed on this thing?

      Who knows what it’s going to be?

      Meanwhile it gasps like a fish on a line.

      It is no doubt a slicker portrait

      than you could have wished, yet all

      the major aspects are present:

      there you bent down under the waterfall

      as though to read little signs

      in the moss and it all came to life

      but quietly. There is no way to transcribe it.

      WITHERED COMPLIMENTS

      Have a care lest

      the jewelled words of others

      force you to act, you too: “Delicious.

      I love you. Goodbye.” For in that autumn

      after speech strange desires stir.

      It is not enough

      to have kept one’s hands to oneself,

      not enough to see them cheating

      and take no action. It is not enough,

      finally, to turn

      and walk back to the house

      where disappointed parents wait, not

      enough to smile through abuse and gather them

      into the big, hectic embrace.

      These days there are other worries to assess.

      How did that band of shrubbery grow so sharp

      that the rest of the landscape is dim,

      pleading ignorance? And the arborist has other

      things on his mind, as does the land-surveyor.

      If you too could see that far out to sea

      your forces might crumble. They, though,

      take it in stride, but that too might be a warning:

      earth, air
    , tire, water,

      let all stand, be around

      as much as we wrap around them

      at day’s outer limits.

      A kind of slow afternoon here, too.

      The aftershock holds no surprises.

      THE WIND TALKING

      Faithful I keep coming over to address the issues,

      the ills no man can stomach, or anything that feels warm,

      less bumptious and froward perhaps, speeding,

      on wounded calendar, and faithful you coming to me ouch

      plans pleasure no person can resist, the time

      to roll out of bed, run out the white door, into the sickness

      of the apt. Approach. Wait—

      too many trees are tied to this, for desire’s

      ambitions to become known. I’ll say to you

      how usually around you are and my coming frequently

      fits. Young warriors are aghast—no one

      had foreseen it. That just keeps making book, into play,

      the play of the weather, where snowballs flew across the stage.

      The cast was furious. Don’t explain, there’s nothing you can do

      except stay out of harm’s way, waiting, in a doorway—

      I like you here, and by the woodpile, and think

      it’s after something, but no one came. And the door was slightly ajar,

      too, it could be considered closed. Some welcome! Maybe

      you are older and more spirited than I think, let’s

      have a try, go on, the crab missile told

      how it was all just plain dust and guts. Any can hold him,

      I’ve tried, and now you are back. The volume

      of his chant extended me, to be with you, falling off, in the life.

      Night promontories can be sticky there is a whole other suite of

      glabrous thingamabobs adhering to the minutes of my vacuum.

      Then to get down and crawl it, into the unimagined spaces that

      were, it’s true, there. I still address it. Like a lost man.

      The oldest sewer in captivity. I can shrink it too,

      and desperately bawling you knows no man’s coming to lick it,

      be beside it, extrapolate us on the ledge. We’re caring.

      Shoo, that’s all-important now. Under the legs

      of this chair I can see into the runnels. Midnight’s near.

      Let’s doff with the clothes, lay on burlap

      over granite. Ssh. He hears. The mouse’s wits list

      all somebody isn’t going to tell us about the improbable

      financial backing of the adventure just as it sinks. The lights

      go out at sea. Try a waltz then.

      The disease of timing’s etched itself into the very skull

     


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