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    The Shape of the Journey: New & Collected Poems

    Page 7
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      I love all my friends

      their skins are so warm,

      my dear mother dead father

      live sister dead sister

      two brothers

      their skins are so warm,

      I love my lovely wife

      her skin is most warm,

      and I love my dear self

      my skin is so warm,

      I come to great harm.

      I come to great harm.

      I want to be told a children’s story

      that will stick.

      I’m sorry I can’t settle for less.

      Some core of final delight.

      In the funeral parlor my limbs

      are so heavy I can’t rise.

      This isn’t me in this nest of silk

      but a relative bearing my face and name.

      I still wanted to become a cowboy

      or bring peace to the Middle East.

      This isn’t me. I saw Christ this summer

      rising over the Absaroka Range.

      Of course I was drunk.

      I carry my vices to the wilderness.

      That faintly blue person there among

      the nasturtiums, among crooning relatives

      and weeping wife, however, isn’t me.

      Where. We are born dead.

      Our minds can taste this source

      until that other death.

      A long rain and we are children

      and a long snow,

      sleeping children in deep snow.

      As in interims all journeys end

      in three steps

      with a mirrored door, beyond it a closet

      and a closet wall.

      And he wants to write poems to resurrect god,

      to raise all buried things the eye

      buries and the heart and brain, to

      move wild laughter in the throat of death.

      A new ax

      a new ax

      I’m going to play

      with my new ax

      sharp blue blade

      handle of ash.

      Then, exhausted, listen

      to my new record, Johnny Cash.

      Nine dollars in all,

      two lovely things to play with

      far better and more lasting

      than a nine-dollar whore

      or two bottles of whiskey.

      A new ax and Johnny Cash

      sharp blue blade and handle of ash

      O the stream of your blood

      runs as black as the coal.

      Saw ghosts not faintly or wispish,

      loud they were raising on burly arms

      at midday, witches’ Sunday in full light,

      murder in delight, all former dark things

      in noonlight, all light things love

      we perform at night and fuck as war wounds

      rub, and sigh as others sighed, blind

      in delight to the world outside the window.

      When I began to make false analogies

      between animals & humans, then countries,

      Russia is like America and America like Russia,

      the universe is the world and the world

      a university, the teacher is a crayfish,

      the poem is a bird and a housefly, a pig

      without a poke, a flame and an oilcan,

      a woman who never menstruates, a woman

      without glands who makes love by generalized

      friction; then I went to the country

      to think of precision, O the moon

      is the width of a woman’s thigh.

      The Mexican girl about fourteen years old

      in the 1923 National Geographic found in the attic

      when we thought the chimney was on fire and I stood

      on the roof with snow falling looking down into

      the black hole where the fire roared at the bottom.

      The girl: lying in the Rio Grande in a thin

      wet shift, water covering back between breasts

      and buttocks but then isolate the buttocks

      in the muddy water, two graceful melons from the deep

      in the Rio Grande, to ride them up to the river’s source

      or down to the sea, it wouldn’t matter, or I would

      carry her like a pack into some fastness like

      the Sawtooth Mountains. The melon butter of her

      in water, myself in the cloudy brown water

      as a fish beneath her.

      All falseness flows: you would rust

      in jerks, hobbles; they, dewlaps,

      sniff eglantine and in mint-cleared voices

      not from dark but in puddles over cement,

      an inch-deep of watery mud: all falseness

      flows; comes now, where should it rest?

      Merlin, as Merlin, le cri de Merlin,

      whose shores are never watched, as women

      have no more than one mouth staring

      at the ground; repeat now, from what cloud

      or clouds or country, countries in dim sleep,

      pure song, mouthless, as if a church buried

      beneath the sea – one bell tower standing

      and one bell; staring for whom at ground’s length,

      elbows in ground, stare at me now: she grows

      from the tree half-vine and half-woman

      and haunts all my nights, as music can

      that uses our tendons as chords, bowels to hurtle

      her gifts; myths as Arcturus, Aldebaran

      pictured as colored in with blood,

      her eyes were bees and in her hair ice

      seemed to glisten, drawn up as plants, the snake

      wrapped around the crucifix knows, glass knows,

      and O song, meal is made of us not even for small gods

      who wait in the morning; dark pushes with no

      to and fro, over and under, we who serve her

      as canticles for who falls deeper, breaks away,

      knows praise other than our own: sing.

      Merely land and heavily drawn away from the sea

      long before us, green has begun, every crevasse, kelp,

      bird dung, froth of sea, foam over granite, wet

      sea rose and roar of Baltic: who went from continent

      to island, as wolves or elk would at night,

      sea ice as salted glass, slight lid, mirror over

      dark; as Odin least of all gods, with pine smell

      of dark and animals crossed in winter

      with whales butting shores,

      dressed without heat in skins; said Christ who came

      late, nothing to be found here, lovers of wood

      not stone, north goes over and down, farthest from sun,

      aloud in distance white wolf, whiter bear

      with red mouth; they can eat flesh and nothing else.

      white winter

      white snow

      black trees

      green boughs

      over us

      Arctic sun, one wildflower in profusion,

      grass is blue, sterile fishless lake in rock

      and northern lights shimmering, crackling.

      As a child in mourning, mourned for, knows

      how short and bittersweet, not less for saying again,

      the child singing knows, near death, it is so alive,

      brief and sweet, earth scarcely known, small

      songs made of her, how large as hawk or tree,

      only a stone lives beyond sweet things:

      so that the sea raises herself not swallows

      but pushed by wind and moon destroys them;

      only dark gives light, Apollo, Christ,

      only a blue and knotted earth broken by green

      as high above gods see us in our sleeping end.

      We know no other, curled as we are here,

      sleep over earth, tongues, fog, thunder, wars.

      Christ raises. Islands from the sea, see people come.

      Clear your speech, it is all that we have,

      aloud and here and now.

      T
    RADER

      I traded a girl

      two apples for an orange.

      I hate citrus

      but she was beautiful.

      As lovers we were rotten –

      this was before the sexual revolution –

      and we only necked and pawed,

      “Don’t write below the lines!”

      But now she’s traded

      that child’s red mitten

      I only touched

      for a stovepipe hat,

      four children,

      and a milkman husband.

      Soon I learn there will be no milkmen

      and she’ll want to trade again.

      Stop. I won’t take a giant Marianas

      trench for two red apples.

      You’ve had your orange

      now lie in it.

      HOSPITAL

      Someone is screaming almost in Morse

      code, three longs, a short, three

      longs again. Man, woman, or animal?

      Pale-blue room. How many have died

      here and will I with my ears drummed

      to pain with three longs, one short, three longs?

      It’s never a yelp, it starts

      far back in the throat

      with three longs, a short, three longs.

      All beasts everywhere listen to this.

      It must be music to the gods –

      three longs, one short, three longs.

      I don’t know who it is,

      a beautiful woman with a lion’s lungs

      screaming three longs, one short, three longs?

      COWGIRL

      The boots were on the couch and had

      manure on their heels and tips.

      The cowgirl with vermilion udders and ears

      that tasted of cream pulled on her jeans.

      The saddle is not sore and the crotch with

      its directionless brain is pounded by hammers.

      Less like flowers than grease fittings women

      win us to a life of holes, their negative space.

      I don’t know you and won’t. You look at my hairline

      while I work, conscious of history, in a bottomless lake.

      Thighs that are indecently strong and have won the West,

      I’ll go back home where women are pliant as marshmallows.

      DRINKING SONG

      I want to die in the saddle. An enemy of civilization

      I want to walk around in the woods, fish and drink.

      I’m going to be a child about it and I can’t help it, I was

      born this way and it makes me very happy to fish and drink.

      I left when it was still dark and walked on the path to the

      river, the Yellow Dog, where I spent the day fishing and drinking.

      After she left me and I quit my job and wept for a year and

      all my poems were born dead, I decided I would only fish and drink.

      Water will never leave earth and whiskey is good for the brain.

      What else am I supposed to do in these last days but fish and drink?

      In the river was a trout, and I was on the bank, my heart in my

      chest, clouds above, she was in NY forever and I, fishing and drinking.

      AWAKE

      Limp with night fears: hellebore, wolfsbane,

      Marlowe is daggered, fire, volts, African vipers,

      the grizzly the horses sensed, the rattlesnake

      by the mailbox – how he struck at thrown rocks,

      black water, framed by police, wanton wife,

      I’m a bad poet broke and broken at thirty-two,

      a renter, shot by mistake, airplanes and trains,

      half-mast hard-ons, a poisoned earth, sun will

      go out, car break down in a blizzard,

      my animals die, fistfights, alcohol, caskets,

      the hammerhead gliding under the boat near

      Loggerhead Key, my soul, my heart, my brain,

      my life so interminably struck with an ax

      as wet wood splints bluntly, mauled into

      sections for burning.

      GHAZALS

      NOTES ON THE GHAZALS

      Poems are always better than a bloody turkey foot in the mailbox. Few would disagree. Robert Creeley once said, partly reconstituting Olson, “Form is never more than an extension of content.” True and sage. We choose what suits us and will not fairly wear what doesn’t fit. Don’t try to bury a horse in a human coffin, no matter how much you loved the horse, or stick some mute, lovely butterfly or luna moth in a damp cavern. I hate to use the word, but form must be an “organic” revelation of content or the poem, however otherwise lively, will strike us false or merely tricky, an exercise in wit, crochet, pale embroidery.

      The ghazal is an antique form dating from the thirteenth century and practiced by hundreds of poets since in languages as varied as Urdu, Arabic, Pashto, Turkish, Persian, German, French, and Spanish. Even Goethe and Schlegel wrote ghazals. Among my own contemporaries, Adrienne Rich has been especially successful with the form. I have not adhered to the strictness of metrics and structure of the ancient practitioners, with the exception of using a minimum of five couplets. The couplets are not related by reason or logic and their only continuity is made by a metaphorical jump. Ghazals are essentially lyrics and I have worked with whatever aspect of our life now that seemed to want to enter my field of vision. Crude, holy, natural, political, sexual. After several years spent with longer forms I’ve tried to regain some of the spontaneity of the dance, the song unencumbered by any philosophical apparatus, faithful only to its own music.

      –J.H.

      1971

      I

      Unbind my hair, she says. The night is white and warm,

      the snow on the mountains absorbing the moon.

      We have to get there before the music begins, scattered,

      elliptical, needing to be drawn together and sung.

      They have dark green voices and listening, there are birds,

      coal shovels, the glazed hysteria of the soon-to-be-dead.

      I suspect Jesus will return and the surprise will be

      fatal. I’ll ride the equator on a whale, a giraffe on land.

      Even stone when inscribed bears the ecstatic. Pressed to

      some new wall, ungiving, the screams become thinner.

      Let us have the tambourine and guitars and forests, fruit,

      and a new sun to guide us, a holy book, tracked in new blood.

      II

      I load my own shells and have a suitcase of pressed

      cardboard. Naturally I’m poor and picturesque.

      My father is dead and doesn’t care if his vault leaks,

      that his casket is cheap, his son a poet and a liar.

      All the honest farmers in my family’s past are watching

      me through the barn slats, from the corncrib and hogpen.

      Ghosts demand more than wives & teachers. I’ll make a

      “V” of my two books and plow a furrow in the garden.

      And I want to judge the poetry table at the County Fair.

      A new form, poems stacked in pyramids like prize potatoes.

      This county agent of poetry will tell poets, “More potash

      & nitrogen, the rows are crooked and the field limp, depleted.”

      III

      The alfalfa was sweet and damp in fields where shepherds

      lay once and rams strutted and Indians left signs of war.

      He harnesses the horses drawing the wagon of wheat toward

      the road, ground froze, an inch of sifting snow around their feet.

      She forks the hay into the mow, in winter is a hired girl

      in town and is always tired when she gets up for school.

      Asleep again between peach rows, drunk at midmorning and something

      conclusive is needed, a tooth pulled, a fistfight, a girl.

      Would any god come down from where and end a small war between

      two walls of bone, brain veering, bucking in fatal velocity?

     
    ; IV

      Near a brown river with carp no doubt pressing their

      round pursed mouths to the river’s bed. Tails upward.

      Watching him behind his heifer, standing on a milk

      stool, flies buzzing and sister cows swishing tails.

      In the tree house the separate nickels placed in her hand.

      Skirt rises, her dog yelps below and can’t climb ladders.

      River and barn and tree. Field where wheat is scarcely high

      enough to hide, in light rain knees on pebbles and March mud.

      In the brain with Elinor and Sonia, Deirdre of course

      in dull flare of peat and Magdalen fresh from the troops.

      I want to be old, and old, young. With these few bodies at

      my side in a creel with fresh ferns & flowers over them.

      V

      Yes yes yes it was the year of the tall ships

      and the sea owned more and larger fish.

      Antiquarians know that London’s gutters were

      pissed into openly and daggers worn by whores.

      Smart’s Jeoffry had distant relatives roaming

      the docks hungry for garbage at dawn. Any garbage.

      O Keats in Grasmere, walking, walking. Tom

      is dead and this lover is loverless, loving.

      Wordsworth stoops, laughs only once a month and then

      in private, mourns a daughter on another shore.

      But Keats’s heart, Keats in Italy, Keats’s heart

      Keats how I love thee, I love thee John Keats.

      VI

      Now changed. None come to Carthage. No cauldrons, all love

      comes without oily sacraments. Skin breathes cooler air.

      And light was there and two cliff swallows hung and swooped

     


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