mom has THREE children, she is three times meaner
than a mom with only one, and said no. We tried to
escape the room as soon as we saw her mouth begin
to form ADULT WISDOM, but she’s fast and hit us with,
“You know, girls, the best things in life are free.”
“Like money?” Isabella asked. “So, like, free
money. Free money would be one of the best things in
life, right?”
Isabella really excels at this sort of question,
so her mom really excels at answering them.
“Go outside,” she said.
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R DUM
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Some guys just can’t win…
but Danny never stops trying!
scholastic.com
LOSERLIST4e
About Jim Benton
Jim Benton is not a middle- school girl, but do
not hold that against him. He has managed to
make a living out of being funny, anyway.
He is the creator of many licensed properties,
for grown-ups who, frankly, are probably behaving
like little kids.
You may already know his properties: It’s
Happy Bunny™ or Catwad™, and of course you
already know about Dear Dumb Diary.
He’s created a kids’ TV series, designed
clothing, and written books.
Jim Benton lives in Michigan with his spectac -
ular wife and kids. They do not have a dog, and
they especially do not have a vengeful beagle.
This is his first series for Scholastic.
Jamie Kelly has no idea that Jim Benton, or
you, or anybody is reading her diaries. So, please,
please, please don’t tell her.
BEST FRIENDS FOR NEVER.
Dear Dumb Diary,
So now I’m friends with Angeline. This is an Automatic
Friendship, and I have to just accept it and make the
best of things.
See, if I objected, then Aunt Carol might divorce
Angeline’s uncle, sending both of them tumbling into a
deep pit of depression for the rest of their lives, and
Angeline could wind up feeling so guilty that she would
have to go be locked up in an old dirty insane asylum for
years and years, and Stinker’s puppies would grow up not
knowing both their parents — and I couldn’t live with
myself for doing something like that to a puppy.
SNEAK A PEEK INSIDE THE DIARY OF JAMIE KELLY, WHO
PROMISES THAT EVERYTHING SHE WRITES IS TRUE . . .
OR AT LEAST AS TRUE AS IT NEEDS TO BE.
Jim Benton’s Tales from Mackerel Middle School
www.scholastic.com/deardumbdiary
Cover art by Jamie Kelly with the help of Jim Benton
Cover design by Steve Scott
RL5 008 and up