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    Score!


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      About the Book

      Sir Roberto Rannaldini, the most successful but detested conductor in the world, had two ambitions: to seduce his ravishing nineteen-year-old stepdaughter, Tabitha Campbell-Black, and to put his mark on musical history by making the definitive film of Verdi’s darkest opera, Don Carlos.

      As Rannaldini, Tristan, his charismatic French director, a volatile cast and bolshy French crew gather at Rannaldini's haunted abbey for filming, it is inevitable that violent feuds, abandoned bonking, temperamental screaming, and devious plotting will ensue. But although everyone wished Rannaldini dead, no one actually thought the Maestro would be murdered. Or that after the dreadful deed some very bizarre things would continue to occur.

      Score! is Jilly Cooper’s most thrilling novel to date.

      Jilly Cooper

      SCORE!

      This eBook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorised distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s and publisher’s rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.

      Epub ISBN: 9781409032380

      Version 1.0

      www.randomhouse.co.uk

      TRANSWORLD PUBLISHERS

      61–63 Uxbridge Road, London W5 5SA

      a division of The Random House Group Ltd

      www.booksattransworld.co.uk

      SCORE!

      A CORGI BOOK : 9780552156363

      First published in Great Britain in 2000 by Bantam Pressa division of Transworld Publishers

      Corgi edition published 2000

      Corgi edition reissued 2007

      Copyright © Jilly Cooper 1999

      Jilly Cooper has asserted her right under the Copyright,

      Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.

      This book is a work of fiction and, except in the case of historical fact, any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

      A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

      This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser

      Addresses for Random House Group Ltd companies outside the UK can be found at: www.randomhouse.co.uk

      The Random House Group Ltd Reg. No. 954009

      4 6 8 10 9 7 5 3

      Table of Contents

      Cover

      About the Book

      Title

      Copyright

      About the Author

      By Jilly Cooper

      Dedication

      Cast of Characters

      The Animals

      Don Carlos: The Initial Cast of the Film

      Map

      Overture 1977

      Chapter 1

      Chapter 2

      Chapter 3

      Chapter 4

      Chapter 5

      Chapter 6

      Chapter 7

      Chapter 8

      Chapter 9

      Chapter 10

      Chapter 11

      Chapter 12

      Chapter 13

      Chapter 14

      Chapter 15

      Chapter 16

      Chapter 17

      Chapter 18

      Chapter 19

      Chapter 20

      Chapter 21

      Chapter 22

      Chapter 23

      Chapter 24

      Chapter 25

      Chapter 26

      Chapter 27

      Chapter 28

      Chapter 29

      Chapter 30

      Chapter 31

      Chapter 32

      Chapter 33

      Chapter 34

      Chapter 35

      Chapter 36

      Chapter 37

      Chapter 38

      Chapter 39

      Chapter 40

      Chapter 41

      Chapter 42

      Chapter 43

      Chapter 44

      Chapter 45

      Chapter 46

      Chapter 47

      Chapter 48

      Chapter 49

      Chapter 50

      Chapter 51

      Chapter 52

      Chapter 53

      Chapter 54

      Chapter 55

      Chapter 56

      Chapter 57

      Chapter 58

      Chapter 59

      Chapter 60

      Chapter 61

      Chapter 62

      Chapter 63

      Chapter 64

      Chapter 65

      Chapter 66

      Chapter 67

      Chapter 68

      Chapter 69

      Chapter 70

      Chapter 71

      Chapter 72

      Chapter 73

      Chapter 74

      Chapter 75

      Chapter 76

      Chapter 77

      Chapter 78

      Chapter 79

      Chapter 80

      Chapter 81

      Chapter 82

      Chapter 83

      Chapter 84

      Chapter 85

      Chapter 86

      Chapter 87

      Epilogue

      Acknowledgements

      About the Author

      Jilly Cooper is a journalist, writer and media superstar. The author of many number one bestselling novels, she lives in Gloucestershire with her husband Leo, her rescue greyhound Feather and her black cat Feral.

      She was appointed OBE in 2004 for services to literature, and in 2009 was awarded an honorary Doctorate of Letters by the University of Gloucestershire for her contribution to literature and services to the County.

      Find out more about Jilly Cooper at her website www.jillycooper.co.uk

      By Jilly Cooper

      FICTION

      RIDERS

      RIVALS

      POLO

      THE MAN WHO MADE HUSBANDS JEALOUS

      APPASSIONATA

      SCORE!

      PANDORA

      WICKED!

      JUMP!

      NON-FICTION

      ANIMALS IN WAR

      CLASS

      HOW TO SURVIVE CHRISTMAS

      HOTFOOT TO ZABRISKIE POINT (with Patrick Lichfield)

      INTELLIGENT AND LOYAL

      JOLLY MARSUPIAL

      JOLLY SUPER

      JOLLY SUPERLATIVE

      JOLLY SUPER TOO

      SUPER COOPER

      SUPER JILLY

      SUPER MEN AND SUPER WOMEN

      THE COMMON YEARS

      TURN RIGHT AT THE SPOTTED DOG

      WORK AND WEDLOCK

      ANGELS RUSH IN

      ARAMINTA’S WEDDING

      CHILDREN’S BOOKS

      LITTLE MABEL

      LITTLE MABEL’S GREAT ESCAPE

      LITTLE MABEL SAVES THE DAY

      LITTLE MABEL WINS

      ROMANCE

      BELLA

      EMILY

      HARRIET

      IMOGEN

      LISA & CO

      OCTAVIA

      PRUDENCE

      ANTHOLOGIES

      THE BRITISH IN LOVE

      VIOLETS AND VINEGAR

      To Ann Mills,

      dearest of friends,

      with love and gratitude.

      CAST OF CHARACTERS

      JAMES BENSON A very smooth, extremely expensive private doctor.

      BETTY One of Rannaldini’s pretty maids.

      TEDDY BRIMSCOMBE Rannaldini’s head gardener, renowned for his green fingers and
    wandering hands.

      MRS BRIMSCOMBE Rannaldini’s long-suffering housekeeper.

      MR BROWN An Australian racehorse owner.

      MISS BUSSAGE Rannaldini’s PA – a gorgon.

      RUPERT CAMPBELL-BLACK Multi-millionaire owner/trainer, ex-Olympic show jumper and Minister for Sport. Director of Venturer Television. Still Mecca for most women.

      TAGGIE CAMPBELL-BLACK His adored second wife – an angel.

      MARCUS CAMPBELL-BLACK Rupert’s son by his first marriage, recent winner of the Appleton International piano competition.

      TABITHA CAMPBELL-BLACK Mistress of the Horse for Don Carlos. Rupert’s estranged daughter from his rider.

      XAVIER CAMPBELL-BLACK Rupert and Taggie’s adopted Colombian son.

      BIANCA CAMPBELL-BLACK Rupert and Taggie’s adopted Colombian daughter.

      EDDIE CAMPBELL-BLACK Rupert’s father, five times married and raring to go. A sexual buccaneer of the old school.

      BRUCE CASSIDY Belegauered press officer for Don Carlos. Inevitably nicknamed ‘Hype-along’.

      CHLOE CATFORD Mellifluous mezzo soprano, and compilation queen. Sings Princess Eboli in Don Carlos Significant Other Woman in several marriages.

      GIUSEPPE CAVALLI Capricious Italian bass, the ghost of the Emperor Charles V in Don Carlos. The inamorato of Granville Hastings, he sings like an angel and drinks like a fish.

      LADY CHISLEDON A pillar of Paradise.

      CLIVE Rannaldini’s sinister leatherclad henchman.

      MISS CRICKLADE Paradise village busybody.

      HOWIE DENSTON Artist’s agent and ghastly creep who runs London office of Shepherd Denston, toughest music agents in New York.

      DIZZY Rupert Campbell-Black’s comely head groom.

      DETECTIVE SERGEANT KEVIN FANSHAWE Rutminster CID smoothie and new-style catcher of villains.

      FLORENCE Hortense de Montigny’s ancient retainer.

      CHRISTY FOXE Indefatigable PA during recording of Don Carlos.

      DETECTIVE SERGEANT TIMOTHY GABLECROSS Old-style catcher of villains.

      BERNARD GUÉRIN Battle-scarred veteran. First assistant director, Don Carlos, Tristan de Montigny’s droit-hand man, who acts as sergeant major keeping order on the set.

      DAME HERMIONE HAREFIELD World-famous diva and Rannaldini’s mistress. Seriously tiresome, brings out Crippen in all.

      BOB HAREFIELD Her charming, mostly absentee husband, longterm lover of Meredith Whalen.

      LITTLE COSMO HAREFIELD Hermione’s fiendish nine-year-old son. Could give lessons to Damien in The Omen.

      EULALIA HARRISON A frumpy feature writer.

      GRANVILLE ‘GRANNY’ HASTINGS English bass, singing the Grand Inquisitor in Don Carlos. Outwardly cosy old pussy-cat.

      LYSANDER HAWKLEY Formerly a man who made husbands jealous, now happily married to Rannaldini’s third wife Kitty. Rupert Campbell-Black’s assistant.

      THE REV. PERCIVAL HILLARY A portly parson, who confines his pastoral visits to drinks time.

      GEORGE HUNGERFORD An extremely successful property developer, chief executive of Rutminster Symphony Orchestra. Live-in lover of Flora Seymour.

      JANICE Rannaldini’s head groom.

      JESSICA Ravishing production secretary, Don Carlos.

      BEATTIE JOHNSON A seductive, totally unprincipled journalist.

      SEXTON KEMP An extremely fly East End film producer. Chief Executive of Liberty Productions, who are making Don Carlos.

      LUCY LATIMER Make-up artist on Don Carlos. Still centre and agony aunt to entire cast and crew.

      CLAUDINE LAUZERTE Actress and Gallic goddess, married to a French government minister.

      DETECTIVE CONSTABLE LIGHTFOOT Eager young constable, traumatized by steamy stint at the 1991 Valhalla orgy.

      ISA LOVELL A brilliant, obsessive jump jockey. A Heathcliff of the gallops.

      JAKE LOVELL His father, ex-world show jumping champion. Now National Hunt trainer.

      TORY LOVELL Isa’s mother and Jake’s wife – loving and super-efficient, a hard act for a daughter-in-law to follow.

      MARIA An ace cook.

      DETECTIVE CONSTABLE DEBBIE MILLER A pulchritudinous policewoman.

      COLIN MILTON Once-great tenor now playing Count Lerma, the Spanish ambassador in Don Carlos. Old sweetie, eminently bullyable.

      ÉTIENNE DE MONTIGNY France’s greatest painter and national hero.

      ALEXANDRE DE MONTIGNY Étienne’s pompous eldest son, a judge.

      HORTENSE DE MONTIGNY Étienne’s sister – a blue-blooded battle-axe.

      SIMONE DE MONTIGNY Étienne’s granddaughter and Alexandre’s daughter. In charge of continuity, Don Carlos.

      TRISTAN DE MONTIGNY Étienne’s youngest son and Rannaldini’s godson. Director, Don Carlos.

      DETECTIVE CONSTABLE KAREN NEEDHAM The belle of the Bill.

      OGBORNE Chief grip, Don Carlos.

      LORD (DECLAN) O’HARA OF PENSCOMBE Recently ennobled television megastar, managing director of Venturer Television and Rupert Campbell-Black’s father-in-law.

      VIKING O’NEILL Golden boy and first horn of Rutminster Symphony Orchestra.

      OSCAR Deceptively indolent director of photography, Don Carlos.

      FRANCO PALMIERI Vast and vastly famous Italian tenor, playing the title role in Don Carlos.

      MIKHAIL PEZCHEROV Lovable but rather base baritone, playing the Marquis of Posa in Don Carlos

      LARA PEZCHEROV Mikhail’s adored wife.

      DETECTIVE CHIEF INSPECTOR GERALD PORTLAND Admin king and limelight hogger, Rutminster CID.

      ROZZY PRINGLE Exquisite-voiced soprano playing Tebaldo the page in Don Carlos. Worn down by overwork and importunate family.

      GLYN PRINGLE Rozzy’s husband – an accomplished drone.

      PUSHY GALORE An ambitious and irritatingly good-looking member of the Don Carlos chorus. Real name Gloria Prescott.

      CECILIA RANNALDINI Italian soprano and world-famous diva. Rannaldini’s feisty second wife.

      SIR ROBERTO RANNALDINI Mega maestro and archfiend, with musical directorships in Berlin, New York and Tokyo. Co-producing Don Carlos.

      LADY (HELEN) RANNALDINI Rannaldini’s fourth wife and Rupert Campbell-Black’s first wife, devoted mother of Marcus and less so of Tabitha. A legendary American beauty.

      WOLFGANG RANNALDINI Rannaldini’s son from his first marriage. Little Hitler exterior hides heart of gold. Former boyfriend of Flora Seymour.

      SALLY Another of Rannaldini’s pretty maids.

      FLORA SEYMOUR Soprano and viola player and former wild child, traumatized by teenage affaire with Rannaldini, now living with George Hungerford.

      ALPHEUS P. SHAW World-famous American bass, singing Philip II in Don Carlos. Splendidlooking, but pompous sexual predator.

      CHERYL SHAW Alpheus’s justifiably jealous wife. Great tree and social climber.

      DETECTIVE CONSTABLE SMITHSON A very PC DC.

      BABY SPINOSISSIMO Dazzling Australian tenor and sexual buccaneer of the modern school.

      CHIEF CONSTABLE SWALLOW A Rutshire god, and friend of Lady Rannaldini and Dame Hermione.

      SYLVESTRE Sound engineer, Don Carlos. Man of few words but countless deeds.

      SYLVIA Glyn Pringle’s housekeeper.

      VALENTIN Charismatic camera operator, Don Carlos. Oscar’s son-in-law.

      LADY GRISELDA WALLACE Wardrobe mistress, Don Carlos. Nervous-breakdown van always on call during production.

      SERENA WESTWOOD Record producer of Don Carlos. Cool, competent beauty.

      JESSIE WESTWOOD Serena’s four-year-old daughter.

      MEREDITH WHALEN Set designer, Don Carlos. Highly expensive interior designer. Known as the Ideal Homo, because he’s so much in demand as spare man at dinner parties.

      THE ANIMALS

      THE ENGINEER Tabitha Campbell-Black’s event horse.

      GERTRUDE Taggie Campbell-Black’s mongrel.

      JAMES Lucy Latimer’s rescued lurcher.

      PEPPY KOALA An Australian wonder horse.

      THE PRINCE OF DARKNESS Rannaldini’s vicious and generally victorious National Hunt hors
    e.

      SARASTRO Rannaldini’s cat.

      SHARON Tabitha Campbell-Black’s yellow Labrador, later has walk-on part as the Grand Inquisitor’s guide dog.

      TABLOID Rannaldini’s Rottweiler.

      TREVOR Flora Seymour’s rescued terrier.

      DON CARLOS

      THE INITIAL CAST OF THE FILM

      PHILIP II, KING OF SPAIN Alpheus P. Shaw

      DON CARLOS, INFANTE OF SPAIN ‘Fat Franco’ Palmieri

      ELIZABETH DE VALOIS, PRINCESS OF FRANCE Hermione Harefield

      TEBALDO, ELIZABETH’S PAGE Rozzy Pringle

      PRINCESS EBOLI, A SPANISH LADY-IN-WAITING Chloe Catford

      RODRIGO, MARQUIS OF POSA FRIEND OF DON CARLOS To be filled

      THE GRAND INQUISITOR Granville ‘Granny’ Hastings

      THE GHOST OF THE EMPEROR CHARLES V Giuseppe Cavalli

      COUNT LERMA, THE SPANISH AMBASSADOR TO FRANCE Colin Milton

      OVERTURE 1977

      Many men hated Roberto Rannaldini. Many women, after loving him passionately, hated him even more. To be regarded at twenty-eight as the most exciting conductor since the war had necessitated brutal trampling on the way up. But at least Rannaldini could count on the unqualified love of his ten-year-old godson, Tristan de Montigny. To Tristan, the dashing maestro, with his suave, catlike smile, his deep, caressing voice, and his recklessly fast cars, was the most glamorous person in the world.

      Most importantly Rannaldini had been a friend of Tristan’s mother, who had died when Tristan was a baby, and was the only person prepared to satisfy the boy’s craving for information about her.

      ‘She was so beautiful, so sweet, so proud of you, Tristan, and she love you so much. Her death happen in moment of madness, when she feel she cannot cope, and was unworthy of your father.’

      Tristan’s father, Étienne de Montigny, was France’s most illustrious painter. He was revered for his portraits and landscapes but most famous for his erotic paintings, many of which, Salome’s Ecstasy, The Rape of Lucrece and more recently David and Jonathan, hung in the great galleries of the world, elevating near-pornography to an art form.

      Étienne, outwardly a laughing giant of a man, had spawned a pack of children from three wives and numerous mistresses. Twelve years ago, when he was sixty, he had met Rannaldini, newly arrived in Paris to make his fortune as a conductor. The two had struck up a rapport, and Étienne had taken the handsome, impossibly precocious teenager under his wing. In return Rannaldini had not only milked Étienne’s contacts but also posed for him.

     


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