"Come on," I said. I lifted my daughter in my arms and started singing against her cheek. "Comes the measles, you can quarantine the room...comes a mousie, you can chase it with a broom. Comes love, nothing can be done."
"No singing," said Sophie, batting my lips away. "Don't you want to see the president some more?"
I shook my head and carried her through the glass doors out into the sunshine, down the silvery stairs that led to the water's edge. "I've seen enough," I said.
Permissions Acknowledgments
Acknowledgment is made to the following for permission to reprint previously published material:
"All by Myself" by Eric Carmen, Sergei Rachmaninoff (c) 1975, renewed 2002 by Eric Carmen Music, Inc. All rights administered by Universal Songs of PolyGram International, Inc./BMI. Used by Permission. All Rights Reserved.
Laurie Anderson, "Smoke Rings" (reprinted with permission from the artist).
"Comes Love." Words and Music by Lew Brown, Sammy Stept, and Charles Tobias (c) 1939 (Renewed) WB Music Corp., Chappell & Co., and Ched Music Corporation. All Rights for Ched Music Corporation. Administered by WB Music Corp. All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission.
Goodnight Moon (c) 1947 by Harper & Row. Text (c) renewed 1975 by Roberta Brown Rauch. Illustrations (c) renewed 1975 by Edith Hurd, Clement Hurd, John Thacher Hurd and George Hollyer as trustees of the Edith & Clement Hurd 1982 Trust. Used by permission of HarperCollins Publishers. This selection may not be reillustrated without written permission of HarperCollins.
Horton Hatches the Egg by Dr. Seuss, copyright TM and Copyright (c) by Dr. Seuss Enterprises, LP 1940, renewed 1968. Used by permission of Random House Children's Books, a division of Random House, Inc.
The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan. Copyright (c) 1983, 1974, 1973, 1963 by Betty Friedan. Used by permission of W. W. Norton & Company, Inc.
"Frankie and Johnny" by Lee Bayer, Ernest W. Hayes. (c) 1966 by Champion Music Corporation. All rights administered by Songs of Universal, Inc./BMI. Used by Permission. All Rights Reserved.
"My Funny Valentine" by Richard Rodgers and Lorenz Hart (c) 1937 (Renewed) Chappell & Co. Rights for Extended Renewal Term in U.S. controlled by The Estate of Lorenz Hart (administered by WB Music Corp.) and The Family Trust U/W Richard Rodgers and The Family Trust U/W Dorothy F. Rodgers (administered by Williamson Music). All Rights outside U.S. controlled by Chappell & Co. International Copyright Secured. All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission.
"My Funny Valentine" by Lorenz Hart and Richard Rodgers. (c) 1937 (Renewed) Chappell & Co. Rights for Extended Renewal Term in U.S. controlled by WB Music Corp. O/B/O The Estate of Lorenz Hart and The Family Trust Under Will Richard Rodgers and The Family Trust Under Will Dorothy F. Rodgers (administered by Williamson Music). All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission
"Why My Mother Made Me" reprinted from The Gold Cell by Sharon Olds by permission of Alfred A. Knopf, Inc.
References to Babo and Uglydoll are granted by permission of PrettyUgly, LLC (www.uglydolls.com). All rights reserved.
Acknowledgments
Thanks first and foremost to my hardworking, endlessly calm agent, Joanna Pulcini, who went far beyond the call of duty with every single sentence of this book (and also watched my daughter so I could do revisions). Joanna is the best any writer could hope for, and I'm lucky, once again, to have her as my agent and as my friend.
Thanks to Greer Hendricks, my wonderful editor, her associate editor Suzanne O'Neill, my publisher Judith Curr, Karen Mender, Carolyn Reidy, Justin Loeber, Kate Rogers, Angela Stamnes, and the whole team at Atria Books and Simon & Schuster for all of their hard work and good will.
I'm grateful to sopranos Kathleen Berger and Elizabeth Blancke-Biggs for a primer on the opera world, and to Elaine Douvas of Juilliard and the Metropolitan Opera for the lowdown on the oboe.
Ken Salikof and Nina Bjornsson were rigorous editors whose careful comments helped me along the way. Tiffany Yates was an eagle-eyed line editor.
Honi Werner graced me with yet another amazing cover, and Alita Friedman of PrettyUgly graciously permitted us to use Babo's visage on the back.
Jamie Seibert once again made my writing life possible by caring for my daughter while I wrote. Meghan Burnett was indefatigable with her assistance. Andrew Ayala and Peter Janssen gave us help when we needed it.
Thanks to all of my friends for their support while I was wrestling with this book, especially my fellow mommies, who are nothing like the ones described in this book: Susan Abrams Krevsky, Debbie Bilder, Alexa Hymowitz, Andrea Cipriani Mecchi, Carrie Coleman, Sharon Fenick and Alan Promer, Phil DiGennaro and Clare Epstein, Lisa Maslankowski and Robert DiCicco, and Craig and Elizabeth LaBan.
Thanks to my family, near and far, for love, support, and material: Ebbie Bonin, Warren Bonin and Todd Bonin, Renay Weiner, Alan and Linda Gurvitz, Joe Weiner, Jake Weiner (who's not just my brother, he's my film agent, too), April Blair, Olivia Grace Weiner, Molly Weiner, Frances Frumin Weiner, and Faye Frumin, my Nanna.
Finally, thanks to Adam and Lucy, for their love and patience.
Table of Contents
Cover
Also by Jennifer Weiner
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Epigraph
Part One The Good Mother
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
Twenty
Part Two The Ghost Writer
Twenty-One
Twenty-Two
Twenty-Three
Twenty-Four
Twenty-Five
Twenty-Six
Twenty-Seven
Twenty-Nine
Thirty
Thirty-One
Thirty-Two
Thirty-Three
Thirty-Four
Part Three Goodnight Nobody
Thirty-Five
Thirty-Six
Thirty-Seven
Thirty-Eight
Thirty-Nine
Forty
Forty-One
Permissions Acknowledgments
Acknowledgments