Even a total screw up can sense when his metaphysical chain is being pulled by a demon or three.
“OH. SURE. DEFINITELY GONNA BE GIFTS AND BESTOWING OF POWER.”
“(CHCHHCCCC)!”
“SHUSH, YOU!”
“What?” said the zealous-yet-rapidly-doubting occultist.
“WHAT?! NO NOT YOU. DISREGARD THAT. TO YOU, FAITHUL SERVANT, I SAY... WHAT WAS IT YOU WANTED, AGAIN?”
“AH! NO! CERTAINLY NO EATING YOU, HUMAN!” said the first demon.
It wasn't very convincing, as the once-fanatical-but-now-not-at-all man turned to his co-summoner and said, “You know what? I think I’ll just go home and watch 'Mystery!'”
“I think that’s a good idea.” agreed the still-retreating man (who had to shout, as he was half-way over the next hill, already). The newly faithless man broke into a jog, to catch up. As they ran into the distance, where the sun was just starting to peek over the horizon, one asked the other, “Wanna stop for a frozen yogurt on the way?”
To which the other replied, “Sounds good.” Neither stopped running until they were well into the downtown retail district.
* * *
“SORRY.”
“NO APOLOGIES, JUST KEEP DIGGING. MAYBE WE CAN GET OUT OF HERE BEFO...”
The rising sun's rays burst over the hill, bathing the portal in light, snapping it closed with the sound of a thunderclap and a half-uttered swear from somewhere in another dimension.
###
This story was first published as
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