"Challenge the subconscious?" Bildah was impressed.
"What's to lose?" the commissaris asked. "Don't mind dying myself." He stopped and faced his host. "Now, tell me, were you aware that your men were in danger?"
Bildah was.
"So why didn't you protect Hairy Harry?" the commissaris asked again.
"I didn't want to," Bildah said.
The two old men sat on rocks, quietly taking in the view.
"Hairy Harry who, by the way, never was my man, as you put it," Bildah said, "was clever in some little ways, a minor god in a minor universe, but abysmal ignorance made him shoot Croakie."
Croakie, Bildah said, had been a good raven. Bildah had raised Croakie from the time he was a chick who had either Men or been pushed from his nest. Croakie was blind in one eye and lame in one leg and would sit on Bildah's shoulder. "I have no family," Bildah said. "Man is designed to be gregarious, to interact with fellow beings. So I sometimes feel lonely." He turned to the commissaris. "You have company yourself?"
The commissaris mentioned Katrien and Turtle.
Bildah said that the sheriff and his deputy's frequent beer-drinking parties sometimes gave way to killing sprees.
The two would fire at sparrows, sea gulls, Croakie.
"You don't hunt yourself?" the commissaris asked.
"Not since Korea." Bildah was in the war there. He had been a medic.
"You don't mind drugs?"
"Don't care for them myself," Bildah said. "But we should make them legal, don't you think?"
The commissaris thought that might happen at some date in the future, if there still was one.
Bildah drove the commissaris back to the harbor.
"Did Akiapola'au look as billed?" Katrien asked, helping him up the cruise vessel's steep gangway. "Are we going to Hawaii now?"
That evening in their stateroom, while the Lazy Loon moved in a leisurely fashion on Jameson Bay's slow swell, under a full and quiet moon, listening to loons chuckling near Squid island, the commissaris said that he would never understand it.
"Understand what, Jan?"
The commissaris said that he would never understand the beauty.
"Of this?"
"Of it all."
About the Autnor
Janwillem van de Wetering was born in Rotterdam in 1931, studied Zen in Daitoku-ji Monastery, Kyoto and philosophy in London, and has lived as well in Amsterdam, Cornwall, Capetown, Bogota, Lima, and Brisbane. In 1975 he settled in a small town on the coast of Maine where he still lives.
His joys are an ongoing study of nihilism, keeping a wooden lobster boat afloat and getting older. His pain is an inability to play the jazz trumpet.
He has been married for a long time, no longer smokes or drinks, is kept by a superior dog (like the one in this story), and has become allergic to the guru syndrome.