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    William Shakespeare's The Phantom Menace

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      Trade Federation. By my troth, this strange

      And unexpected twist doth warrant care.

      We must inform the innocent Naboo

      And Chancellor Valorum, too. Hear this,

      My young apprentice: let us split our paths

      And use these ships as transport to Naboo

      Where, on the planet’s surface, we shall meet.

      OBI-WAN

      Aye, Master, I shall do as you command,

      And rendezvous with you upon Naboo.

      What’s more—your foresight wise they could not thwart:

      Negotiations were, indeed, quite short.

      [Exeunt.

      SCENE 2.

      On the planet Naboo and aboard the Trade Federation battleship.

      Enter QUEEN AMIDALA.

      AMIDALA

      A person young is thought to have no pow’r,

      E’en when she is a queen, as like myself.

      Those older do surround, e’er pressing in

      And questioning each word that I do speak.

      One thinks I shall a poor decision make,

      Another thinks himself more competent.

      The best of them do bow and show respect

      And treat me with the def’rence due my throne,

      Yet even their eyes speak of disbelief—

      Their courtesy becomes a stifling thing.

      A youth is no more frail than older folk,

      No less intelligent, no less sublime.

      Our steps are newer, yet we are no jewel

      To be protected and encas’d by them.

      We know of violence and life’s harsh ways,

      Our tears descend in grief as their tears do.

      We are not made of softer stuff than they,

      The moods we feel oft run irate and rough.

      We have no thoughts less noble than our elders’—

      In truth, compassion may we ably teach.

      Then why is’t thought that youth are so beneath

      Those older than we are, of any rank?

      ’Tis foolishness, yea, ’tis foul treachery!

      If e’er these older ones could look within

      And plumb the depths of youth, what wonders would

      Before their eyes appear: the courage, strength

      And valor it requires to be a youth:

      The daily struggle to survive amid

      The thousand constant doubts we do receive

      From ev’ry person, e’en those who are dear,

      The ever-present skirmishes with those

      Of our own age, who should support and praise

      Us, bound within the sacred bond of youth,

      But who, instead, do injure with harsh words.

      To be a youth within a world run by

      An older generation taketh strength—

      Yea, that beyond a hundred elders’ might.

      To be both youth and leader truly is

      To be a target ever in their sights.

      I would not trade my station for the world,

      Nor would I wish it on mine enemy.

      Although the path is fraught, this is our cause:

      We youth shall mold the future we desire.

      [Queen Amidala presses a comlink switch.

      Enter NUTE GUNRAY, RUNE HAAKO, and TEY HOW, above on balcony in Trade Federation battleship.

      TEY

      Transmission from the planet of Naboo.

      RUNE

      It is Queen Amidala—aye, herself.

      NUTE

      At last, we shall begin to see results,

      For speaking to the head shall move the body.

      [To Amidala:] Again, you come before us, highness grand.

      AMIDALA

      I do. Yet thou shalt not be pleas’d when thou

      Hast heard what I intend to say to thee.

      Thine errant boycott of our planet’s through.

      NUTE

      Your words are naught but deep surprise to me,

      For of our failure I’ve heard no report.

      AMIDALA

      I am aware that the ambassadors

      Who were by Chancellor Valorum sent

      Have come to thee, and thou art order’d to

      Come to a settlement o’er this blockade.

      NUTE

      And yet, I know of no ambassadors.

      For certain, you have made a gross mistake.

      AMIDALA

      [aside:] Alas, have all our plans been thwarted then?

      [To Nute Gunray:] Beware, I warn thee, Viceroy, for ’tis true:

      The Federation hath made steps too bold.

      NUTE

      I know not what you mean, good lady queen:

      We would do nothing sans the Senate’s say.

      As doth befit your youth and woman’s fear

      Your Highness doth assume too much, indeed.

      AMIDALA

      O, we shall see how mine assumptions fare.

      [Exit Queen Amidala.

      RUNE

      In troth, the lady is correct. The Senate—

      NUTE

      ’Tis far too late! What’s done can’t be undone.

      RUNE

      Aye, so! But do you think she doth expect

      The swift attack that we are bound to make?

      NUTE

      Nay, I know not. Yet this, at least, is clear:

      We must disrupt communication to

      The planet, lest they learn of our intent.

      [Exeunt Nute Gunray, Rune Haako, and Tey How.

      Enter QUEEN AMIDALA with SIO BIBBLE, CAPTAIN PANAKA, COURT, and ATTENDANTS. Enter SENATOR PALPATINE in beam.

      PALPATINE

      What is’t you say? Negotiations have

      Not reach’d a starting point because the two

      Ambassadors did ne’er arrive? But nay,

      How could that tale be true? The chancellor

      Himself inform’d me that th’ambassadors

      Most surely did arrive. Negotiate—

      [Exit Palpatine from beam.

      AMIDALA

      I prithee, Senator, where hast thou gone?

      [To Captain Panaka:] What is the matter? What hath happen’d here?

      PANAKA

      [to attendant:] Check our transmission generator, lad.

      SIO

      If our communication hath been breach’d

      It means but one thing only: an attack.

      AMIDALA

      The Federation would not go so far,

      For such a move would mean their suicide.

      PANAKA

      I do agree: the Senate would revoke

      The Federation’s trade ability,

      Which would destroy their commerce all at once.

      AMIDALA

      Negotiation must be our fond hope.

      SIO

      Negotiation, Highness? We have lost

      Communication, and as yet we know

      Of no ambassadors who have brought suit

      Unto the Federation for our sake.

      AMIDALA

      [aside:] O how he sneers and mocks mine utterance

      As he would never do were I his age.

      PANAKA

      The situation is most grave, my queen.

      If an invasion comes, the meager, slight

      Security our volunteers provide

      Shall be no contest for the harden’d ranks

      The Federation surely shall employ.

      AMIDALA

      I hear thee, counselors, and may hear more,

      But will condone no move that leads to war.

      [Exeunt.

      SCENE 3.

      On the planet Naboo.

      Enter BATTLE DROIDS, including OOM-9.

      Enter NUTE GUNRAY and RUNE HAAKO in beam.

      OOM-9

      How may I serve you, Viceroy? What’s your will?

      RUNE

      Pay heed now, Captain. We have search’d the ship

      And found no trace of Jedi Knights therein.

      ’Tis possible they hide aboard thy craft.

      OOM-9

      If they
    are here, good sir, we shall detect

      Them and destroy them as we were enjoin’d.

      NUTE

      Pray, use thou caution—underestimate

      These Jedi at thy peril. Vigilance!

      [Exeunt Nute Gunray and Rune Haako from beam.

      Enter QUI-GON JINN, hidden.

      QUI-GON

      With hundreds of these battle droids I fly

      Unto the planet that doth wait below.

      Yea, unbeknownst to its kind citizens

      Attack doth cruelly come to break their peace.

      The craft hath landed. Run, e’er we are found!

      [Qui-Gon begins to run from the craft amid fleeing falumpasets, pursued by battle droids.

      Enter JAR JAR BINKS, hidden, seeing QUI-GON JINN.

      JAR JAR

      A man approacheth, cloth’d in Jedi garb.

      Belike this man brings aid unto Naboo

      Such as will help my people and my land.

      Mayhap this is the chance I have desir’d!

      For I have wander’d lo these many months

      A’thinking o’er this planet’s dreary fate:

      Two peoples separated by their fear

      And prejudice, which e’er doth make us shirk

      From giving help unto each other. Aye,

      It may be that the only hope for us

      To be united is to realize

      That our two fates are tightly knit as one.

      Perchance this Jedi, follow’d by these droids,

      Doth bring the words to break our deep mistrust.

      I shall make introduction, in my way—

      Portray the part that I have learn’d so well:

      It doth befit the human prejudice

      To think we Gungans simple, low, and rude.

      I shall approach him thusly, yet shall bend

      Him to the path that shall assist us all.

      Put on thy simple wits now, Jar Jar Binks:

      Thus play the role of clown to stoke his pride.

      [Jar Jar stands in Qui-Gon’s path. Qui-Gon runs into him and the two fall as the battle-droids transport passes by over them.

      [To Qui-Gon:] O moiee-moiee, I so luvee!

      QUI-GON

      Thou brainless knave! Almost thou kill’d us both.

      JAR JAR

      I speakee, speakee, look at mee-mee!

      QUI-GON

      That thou canst speak doth not yet make thee wise.

      Now, go ye hence. Away!

      JAR JAR

      [aside:] —Your kind did teach

      Me human language, and my profit on’t

      Is I know how to move your human heart.

      So shall I speak most like a Gungan plain

      And thus disarm you by a fool’s deceit.

      [To Qui-Gon:] Nay, nay, wise sir, O meesa stayee!

      O meesa callee Jar Jar Binks—see

      Now meesa is your servant humble.

      QUI-GON

      ’Tis quite unnecessary, simple beast.

      JAR JAR

      O nay, it izzee necessary.

      Commanded by da gods it izzee.

      Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI, pursued by two BATTLE DROIDS.

      QUI-GON JINN destroys the droids.

      Now twicee you a’save my lifee.

      OBI-WAN

      [to Qui-Gon:] What creature, friend, is this?

      QUI-GON

      —A local, aye,

      A piteous native with a simple mind.

      Now let us hence afore more droids arrive.

      JAR JAR

      Did ee say more an more? Exquize me …

      [Aside:] And now to cast the line that plants the hook.

      [To the Jedi:] The safes’ place is Gunga citee.

      ’Tis where I grew, a hidden citee.

      QUI-GON

      Mayhap this lackwit may have purpose yet.

      A city? Canst thou take us there, kind brute?

      JAR JAR

      Ahh nay, as I me thinkee … nay, nay.

      QUI-GON

      And wherefore not, amphibious buffoon?

      JAR JAR

      o ’tis embarrassee, me banish’d.

      If I return and see de bosses

      Den dey will work me woe. You gettee?

      [A sound is heard in the distance.

      QUI-GON

      Dost thou hear that grave sound? It is the noise

      Made by a thousand thousand woes to come.

      OBI-WAN

      If they discover us, we shall be crush’d

      And ground into a million fleshy bits.

      Oblivion shall be our final home.

      JAR JAR

      Ye makee good the pointee. Dis way!

      [The Jedi walk in the direction Jar Jar points.

      [Aside:] These men have prejudice deep in their hearts,

      For looking on me, they see savagery.

      A “native,” “local,” “piteous,” “buffoon”;

      With such dark slurs they slander my whole race.

      Yet, Gungans quickly shall destroyèd be

      If this attack doth touch our soggy home;

      Belike the Jedi are our only hope.

      Thus—though I was cast out for mine ideas

      And have for many moons gone wandering

      Above the waters of my home, where I

      Have studied human ways and learn’d their speech—

      I shall return to make amends and bring

      These Jedi to the people to whom I

      Am bound. So may I save my race entire.

      To thine own kind be true, so say I e’er.

      Give ev’ry man thine ear, but few thy voice—

      At least the voice that speaketh with wise words.

      Let them hear only speech of ruffian.

      My truer voice I’ll hide with outward squeaks

      Of “meesa,” “yousa,” and “exquize me, sir.”

      So shall the simple lead the high and wise,

      That all of us may dwell in harmony.

      QUI-GON

      I prithee, Jar Jar, how much farther on?

      JAR JAR

      We gowee underwater, kayee?

      But hearee mya warning, too, sir:

      De Gungans likee not outsiduhs.

      De welcome may not be so warmee.

      OBI-WAN

      Ha! Fear thou not. This has not been a day

      Made for the warmth of hospitality.

      [Jar Jar leads the Jedi to the water’s edge, where they plunge in and swim to Gunga City.

      Enter GUNGANS, including CAPTAIN TARPALS.

      JAR JAR

      Now meesa home, so good it feelee.

      [The Gungans begin to shrink back at the approach of Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, and Jar Jar.

      TARPALS

      Hey yousa, stoppa there. What brings you here?

      JAR JAR

      Heyo-dalee, good Captain Tarpals.

      TARPALS

      Nay, Jar Jar, not again. Now yousa shall

      Go to de bosses. Yousa in it deep.

      [Captain Tarpals steps forward and prods Jar Jar with his power pole, zapping him.

      JAR JAR

      How wude indeedee. Aye, how wudee!

      TARPALS

      Now commee all with me, to see de boss.

      [Captain Tarpals and other Gungans escort Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, and Jar Jar into the chamber of the bosses.

      Enter BOSS NASS and other GUNGAN BOSSES.

      NASS

      I bid to yousa welcome, gentlemen.

      But yousa cannah be here. Dis array

      Of mackineeks above is yous weesong.

      Dey are your problemee, not oursa, nay.

      QUI-GON

      An army all compris’d of droids shall soon

      Make their attack upon the kind Naboo.

      We must give them a warning, with your aid.

      NASS

      But meesa do not likee the Naboo.

      Dey think dey are so wise and full of wit.

      OBI-WAN

      The moment that the battle droids have done

      With the Naboo, they shall descend into


      These murky depths and seize control of you.

      NASS

      But meesa nowa thinkee so. De droids

      Not know of ussen ere.

      OBI-WAN

      —Have you no eyes?

      Is enmity so strong it makes you blind?

      You two—the Gungans and Naboo—do form

      A circle symbiont. The rock that’s thrown

      Into your lake makes waves upon their shores;

      The quake that shakes their land doth make your own

      Dear city move as though ’twere rock’d by giants.

      The same sun shines upon you both, the same

      Rain falls and bringeth water to each one,

      The plant that takes root in your miry depths

      Doth spread its leaves above, for them to see.

      Your fate is theirs and, aye, their fate is yours.

      JAR JAR

      [aside:] This Jedi speaketh with a wisdom keen.

      NASS

      But weesa do no care ’bout de Naboo.

      [Qui-Gon uses a Jedi mind trick on Boss Nass.

      QUI-GON

      In that case, prithee, speed us on our way.

      NASS

      Yea, meesa gonna speed you bote away.

      QUI-GON

      And we shall have the need for transport, too.

      NASS

      And weesa gonna give you una bongo.

      The speedies’ way to get to de Naboo

      Is going tru de planet core. Now, hence!

      QUI-GON

      With gratitude we give thee thanks, Boss Nass,

      And leave your worthy court with wish of peace.

      [Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan turn to leave.

      OBI-WAN

      Say, Master, what doth “una bongo” mean?

      QUI-GON

      Methinks it is a transport. So hope I!

      JAR JAR

      [aside:] ’Tis now or ne’er if I would join their cause.

     


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