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    William Shakespeare's Alack! of the Clones

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      Rally ever more systems

      To his cause he shall!

      [Exeunt combatants from the field. The ships holding clone troopers fly away, including a ship containing Yoda, Mace, Ki-Adi, and other Jedi and another ship containing Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Padmé. Only C-3PO and R2-D2 remain onstage.

      C-3PO

      Have they all stolen hence, left me asleep?

      R2, I’ve had a most rare vision, yea:

      I’ve had a dream, past wit of droid to say

      What dream it was: aye, I were but an akk,

      If I did go about t’expound this dream.

      Methought I was—yet no droid can tell what.

      Methought I was—and too, methought I had—

      But I am but a patchèd fool, if I

      Will offer to say what methought I had.

      The eyes of droids have never heard, the ears

      Of droids have never seen, droids’ circuitry

      Not able been to sense, nor programming

      Conceive, nor e’en droids’ core to make report,

      What my dream was. I’ll speak no more of it.

      R2-D2

      [aside:] It seems the droid hath bottom’d out his sense.

      Fear not, C-3PO, I’ll guide thee hence.

      [Exeunt.

      SCENE 2.

      On the planet Geonosis.

      Enter YODA with CLONE TROOPERS 1 and 2.

      TROOPER 1

      Small Master Yoda, hear my meek report:

      All forward sites are making their advances.

      YODA

      Forsooth, very good.

      I shall unto the center

      Of command make way.

      Pray, concentrate fire

      On the starship nearest by.

      Thus succeed shall we.

      TROOPER 1

      Indeed, good Master Jedi. [To Trooper 2:] Now, sirrah,

      Move quadrants all to sector five fifteen.

      [Exeunt.

      Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI, ANAKIN SKYWALKER, PADMÉ, and CLONE TROOPERS 3 and 4 on balcony, in ship.

      OBI-WAN

      Take care, good friends, and hold fast to the ship.

      ANAKIN

      [to Trooper 3:] Aim just above the fuel cells, so we may

      Destroy these foundries and confound our foes.

      OBI-WAN

      Thine instincts serve thee well, young Padawan.

      I prithee let us fly and make attack

      Upon the Federation starships, quick!

      PADMÉ

      O, how the battle rages down below!

      The battle droids array’d both small and large,

      With droidekas beside them in the fight.

      Behold how they assault with armor’d tanks,

      Contraptions spinning with enormous wheels,

      Swift flying drones that soar toward their marks,

      With missiles, lasers, blasters, which illume

      The sky. See lights of blue and red twixt us

      And them, an ’twere a pyrotechnic show.

      Yet still the troopers on our side strive on,

      Destroying one of their vast starships, look—

      A sandstorm furious it doth create!

      Our dauntless troopers move into the fray,

      O’ercoming all the droids by higher sums:

      The battle, which doth seem a clash betwixt

      Two massive armies, equal in their strength,

      Belike ’tis, finally, a numbers game.

      They continue to fly. Enter COUNT DOOKU, NUTE GUNRAY, POGGLE THE LESSER, and other GEONOSIANS in the command center.

      NUTE

      The Jedi have amass’d an army vast!

      DOOKU

      That seemeth most impossible, for how

      Could they a force so quickly generate?

      NUTE

      With ev’ry droid available we’ll strike.

      DOOKU

      There are too many troops against us here.

      poggle

      Besides, communications have been block’d.

      NUTE

      This situation bodes not well for us—

      The starships must return to space anon.

      [Exit Nute.

      poggle

      Our only option now is to retreat.

      DOOKU

      My master strong shall never tolerate

      Republic and its treachery herein.

      poggle

      Death doth await us here if we do stay.

      E’en more, we shall lose something even more:

      All warriors shall flee to th’catacombs.

      Thus shall the Jedi never find the thing

      Hid shrewdly here on Geonosis, yea—

      Safeguarded plans for weapon ultimate

      That shall th’Republic shatter once complete.

      Aye, were they to discover these designs,

      Receive a traitor’s doom we surely would.

      DOOKU

      You may entrust me with those sly designs;

      I shall take them along to Coruscant.

      In safety with my master they’ll reside.

      Now, let us ride and join the battle, comrades!

      [Count Dooku and two Geonosians board speeder bikes and fly from the command center. Exeunt Poggle the Lesser and other Geonosians.

      OBI-WAN

      Observe below!

      ANAKIN

      —’Tis Dooku! Shoot him down.

      TROOPER 3

      The rockets all are spent.

      ANAKIN

      —Then follow on!

      PADMÉ

      The man is full of might and fury, too:

      We shall need help to overcome his pow’r.

      OBI-WAN

      Yet neither time nor help we have enough:

      If we do wait for help, the time is past.

      I’ll warrant Anakin and I can stop

      Count Dooku—we are ample time and help.

      DOOKU

      I sense ’tis Jedi who do trail me now.

      Companions, fall behind whilst they give chase.

      [The Geonosians fall away from Dooku and take position on the other side of the balcony.

      ANAKIN

      Alas, now come the blasts behind us, fie!

      Our ship is harshly struck!

      PADMÉ

      —I fall once more!

      [Padmé and Clone Trooper 4 fall from the balcony onto the sand of Geonosis. Exeunt Count Dooku and Geonosians into a tower hangar.

      ANAKIN

      Nay—Padmé! Prithee, land this ship anon!

      OBI-WAN

      Let not thy feelings personal betray

      Our mission, Anakin. [To trooper pilot:] The speeder

      still

      Pursue, for ’tis our one and only aim.

      ANAKIN

      Nay, lower down the ship.

      OBI-WAN

      —I’ll ne’er defeat

      Count Dooku by myself, for he is skill’d

      With some dark, unimaginable strength!

      I need thee, Anakin: if we can catch

      The man, belike this war shall quickly end.

      We have employment most essential, which

      Doth supersede thy private interests!

      ANAKIN

      I care not for your mission or your war—

      ’Tis Padmé who doth stir mine only thoughts.

      The ship must land!

      OBI-WAN

      —Thou shalt excluded be

      From our strong Jedi Order. Car’st thou not?

      ANAKIN

      I cannot leave my love in such a state.

      OBI-WAN

      Speak thou with sense: let reason fill thy mind.

      How dost thou think thy Padmé would comport

      Herself, if she were fac’d with such a choice?

      ANAKIN

      She would her duty serve in ev’ry thing.

      OBI-WAN

      Thus thou shalt too, and so we hurry on—

      Toward the tower whither Dooku fled!

      [Exeunt Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Clone Trooper 3.

      Enter YODA below, asi
    de with CLONE TROOPER 1.

      YODA

      Such tension sense I,

      Betwixt Obi-Wan and his

      Brave young Anakin.

      TROOPER 1

      The army of the droids doth make retreat.

      YODA

      Well done, Commander.

      Bring me a ship, that I may

      Make pursuit anon.

      [Exit Clone Trooper 1.

      This feeling shaketh

      E’en to my very spirit:

      Not well it bodeth.

      [Exit Yoda.

      TROOPER 4

      Dear lady, are you injur’d?

      PADMÉ

      —Nay, sirrah.

      TROOPER 4

      With all due haste we should make way unto

      The forward center of command, e’en now.

      PADMÉ

      Nay, hear thou my command, brave trooper: we

      Shall go unto the hangar in a trice.

      I prithee, find a transport we may use!

      TROOPER 4

      ’Tis done, my lady, e’en as you command it.

      [Exit Clone Trooper 4.

      PADMÉ

      Mine Anakin, my love, did leave me here,

      Ne’er knowing what web Fate had spun for me.

      Was this some oversight of love most blind,

      Or did he, in the instant, choose some path

      That led him hence, e’en from his fallen love?

      Nay, I’d not have it so: the man is true.

      We must not let our passion override

      Our sense, which knoweth that to which ’tis call’d.

      Belike his duty did inform his acts,

      Responsibility his movements urg’d.

      Do not mistrust thine heart’s own second half,

      O, Padmé: he is truer far beyond

      Thyself, for thou dost doubt whilst he doth serve.

      Be still, then, fear, and rally to his cause:

      Sweet Anakin, I come unto thine aid,

      Ne’ermore to doubt the love thou hast display’d.

      [Exit Padmé.

      SCENE 3.

      On the planet Geonosis in the tower hangar.

      Enter COUNT DOOKU.

      DOOKU

      The army of the clones hath been reveal’d

      Far sooner than my master did design,

      Yet it shall be of little consequence.

      His plan is perfectly constructed, not

      To be disrupted by such accidents.

      The Jedi make pursuit, and shall anon

      Be here. I greet the fight to come with glee,

      For they shall witness power far beyond

      Their expectation and their knowledge, yea.

      This day the dark side of the Force shall be

      Made plain for all to see, and Obi-Wan—

      So saturated with a Jedi’s pride—

      And his naïve, young, sniv’ling Padawan

      Shall know the dread that from the dark side comes.

      What joy, to have a potent hand in this,

      What bliss, this frightful faculty to wield,

      What ecstasy, my master’s will to serve,

      What pleasure, to unveil his awful might.

      The Jedi come and soon the Jedi pass,

      And thus the Sith shall dominate the scene.

      Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI and ANAKIN SKYWALKER.

      ANAKIN

      You shall make ample recompense for all

      Those Jedi whom you slaughter’d here today.

      OBI-WAN

      Let us take him together, Anakin.

      Proceed thou left—

      ANAKIN

      —Nay, I shall take him now!

      OBI-WAN

      O, quick, impulsive rush of reckless youth!

      DOOKU

      If thou wouldst move as swift as lightning, boy,

      Thou dost a taste of lightning’s touch deserve.

      [Count Dooku strikes Anakin with lightning from his hands, felling him.

      You see, bold Obi-Wan, my Jedi pow’rs

      Are greater far than yours: surrender, then.

      OBI-WAN

      It shall not be. Your lightning doth impress,

      Yet I believe your thunder is but noise.

      [They duel.

      DOOKU

      Rash Master Obi-Wan, you disappoint:

      Your strength is weak, though Yoda doth place you

      In such a high esteem. Have you no more?

      Can you not best an old man as myself?

      OBI-WAN

      [aside:] What gift of darkness here he doth display—

      Such terrible and wondrous vigor. Fie!

      The man is far more powerful than I.

      DOOKU

      Feel now the wrath of my lightsaber’s sting.

      [Count Dooku hits Obi-Wan on the arm and leg with his lightsaber, cutting him. Obi-Wan falls to the ground.

      This final blow doth end you, Obi-Wan.

      ANAKIN

      Yet not whilst I have life or breath to move!

      If you would slay my master, you should know

      I stand athwart the passage thither, rogue,

      And you must make your wicked way past me.

      [Anakin jumps in and blocks Dooku’s lightsaber as Dooku prepares to slay Obi-Wan.

      DOOKU

      ’Tis brave, young one, yet I would think thou hadst

      Thy lesson learn’d. Shall I school thee again?

      ANAKIN

      For certain I am but a pupil slow

      To learn, especially from teachers vile.

      OBI-WAN

      Good Anakin—take thou my lightsaber!

      Mine arms may not assist thee, so take thou

      Their natural extension, Padawan!

      [Obi-Wan throws his lightsaber to Anakin, who begins dueling Count Dooku with a lightsaber in each hand.

      DOOKU

      This double threat is merely double chance,

      And twice the opportunity for me.

      Yet feel my blast, and double now is single!

      Thy lightsaber in twain, upon my stroke.

      [Dooku cuts one of Anakin’s lightsabers in two. They continue to duel.

      ANAKIN

      A single death shall be enough for you!

      DOOKU

      [aside:] The boy hath might—the Force is strong with him,

      Indeed he doth begin to wear on me,

      Yet I shall conquer him with greater vigor.

      I shall not strike him down, but teach to him

      A lesson that he shall not soon forget.

      [Count Dooku uses his lightsaber to cut off Anakin’s arm and throw him backward, near Obi-Wan.

      ANAKIN

      Alack! Mine arm, cut off before its time—

      O, cruelty, O, bitter agony!

      Pray, Master, do forgive, I am unarm’d

      And have no tool with which to make defense.

      Pray, Master, do forgive, I am disarm’d,

      And cannot fight to save you or myself.

      How shall I hold my Padmé’s hand in mine,

      How shall I stroke her hair of softest strands,

      How shall I feel the smoothness in her cheek,

      How shall I wrap her in a fond embrace?

      O, arm, mine instrument of youthful love,

      How shall I woo without thee by my side?

      DOOKU

      The battle now is done, and I may flee.

      Enter YODA.

      Old Master Yoda, have you come as well?

      Shall you, like these two frail and fractur’d men,

      Have your days number’d by the crafty count?

      Your Jedi Order weak hath interfer’d

      In our affairs but one too many times.

      The sum is this: we shall your ranks divide

      And multiply your suffering sans end.

      [Count Dooku uses the Force to break off pieces of the hangar, sending them hurling toward Yoda. Yoda uses the Force to hold them at bay.

      YODA

      Indeed, ’tis certain:

      Powerful you are, Dooku.


      The dark side I sense.

      Yet your figures fail—

      All adds not up as you see—

      For the Force mine is.

      Your equation’s wrong,

      For integral the Force is:

      On this you may count.

      DOOKU

      I calculate my powers rise above

      The quantity in any Jedi Knight.

      Naught in the galaxy shall e’er subtract

      My strength, which runs toward infinity.

      E’en you cannot withstand my total pow’r.

      [Count Dooku releases lightning from his hands, which Yoda deflects.

      YODA

      Much to learn you have,

      Your dark shall ne’er outnumber

      Mine arithmetic.

      DOOKU

      ’Tis obvious this fight shall not be won

      By tallying our knowledge of the Force,

      But by some other calculus, indeed.

      Lightsabers may test our equality,

      Then shall we see who’s greater and who’s less.

      [Yoda and Count Dooku duel.

      YODA

      I skip and parry,

      Soar as I have for e’en more

      Than eight hundred years.

      DOOKU

      [aside:] His speed: how unexpected and profound!

      His skill: beyond the measure of a man!

      His energy: near inconceivable!

      His grace: how like an angel doth he fly!

      I cannot win this contest, now I know—

      Though I with all my dark arts skillful am,

      It seems he is of dark and light combin’d,

      The owner of the rainbow’s very glow,

      With wisdom far surpassing all the world.

      YODA

      Fought ably you have,

      Former Padawan of mine,

      Yet I am Master.

     


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