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    William Shakespeare's Tragedy of the Sith's Revenge


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      © & TM 2015 Lucasfilm Ltd. All rights reserved.

      Used under authorization.

      All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.

      Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Number: 2014953128

      eBook ISBN: 978-1-59474-821-9

      Hardcover ISBN: 978-1-59474-808-0

      Text by Ian Doescher

      Illustrations by Nicolas Delort

      Production management by John J. McGurk

      Quirk Books

      215 Church Street

      Philadelphia, PA 19106

      quirkbooks.com

      v3.1

      Contents

      Cover

      Title Page

      Copyright

      Dedication

      Dramatis Personae

      Prologue

      Act I Scene 1

      Scene 2

      Scene 3

      Act II Scene 1

      Scene 2

      Scene 3

      Scene 4

      Scene 5

      Scene 6

      Act III Scene 1

      Scene 2

      Scene 3

      Scene 4

      Act VI Scene 1

      Scene 2

      Scene 3

      Scene 4

      Scene 5

      Scene 6

      Scene 7

      Act V Scene 1

      Scene 2

      Scene 3

      Afterword

      Acknowledgments

      About the Authors

      DRAMATIS PERSONAE

      CHORUS

      RUMOR

      YODA, a Jedi Master

      OBI-WAN KENOBI, a Jedi Knight

      ANAKIN SKYWALKER/DARTH VADER, his Jedi apprentice and later a Sith Lord

      MACE WINDU and KI-ADI-MUNDI, Jedi Masters

      PADMÉ AMIDALA, senator of Naboo

      CAPTAIN TYPHO, of Amidala’s guard

      BAIL ORGANA, senator of the Republic

      R2-D2, C-3PO, R4-P17, and R4-G9, droids

      COMMANDER CODY, of the Clone Troopers

      TARFFUL and CHEWBACCA, Wookiees of Kashyyyk

      TION MEDON, an administrator of Utapau

      BOGA, a varactyl lizard of Utapau

      CHANCELLOR PALPATINE/DARTH SIDIOUS, a Sith Lord

      COUNT DOOKU/DARTH TYRANUS, a Sith

      GENERAL GRIEVOUS, droid leader of the Separatist army

      MAS AMEDDA, vice chancellor of the Galactic Republic

      NUTE GUNRAY, viceroy of the Trade Federation

      WAT TAMBOR, SHU MAI, SAN HILL, and POGGLE THE LESSER, members of the Separatist Alliance

      SENATORS, PILOTS, GUARDS, DROIDS, MEMBERS OF THE JEDI ORDER, JEDI YOUNGLINGS, CLONE TROOPERS, PLAYERS, and WOOKIEES

      PROLOGUE.

      Outer space.

      Enter CHORUS.

      CHORUS

      “War!” is the cry that doth through space resound:

      The good Republic faces bold attack

      From Dooku, he whose evil doth abound.

      Yet heroes rise as each side fighteth back.

      Droid leader Gen’ral Grievous, he most vile,

      Hath enter’d—a new player on the scene.

      With movement swift and unexpected guile

      He hath made bold to kidnap Palpatine.

      Whilst o’er the capital, e’en Coruscant,

      The Sep’ratist droid army tries to flee,

      Two Jedi are dispatch’d upon a jaunt

      To set the hostage Palpatine full free.

      In time so long ago begins our play,

      In vengeful galaxy far, far away.

      [Exit.

      SCENE 1.

      On the Separatist ship.

      Enter CHANCELLOR PALPATINE on balcony, in chains.

      PALPATINE

      Hung be the heav’ns with black, yield day to night!

      The dark shall rise an ’twere a second sun.

      The course that I pursue doth run direct

      Betwixt these rival factions, which make war

      Upon the intrigues I myself have spread.

      The game is mine to win when I see fit,

      The deck is stack’d to mine advantage strong,

      For I have dealt the pack with cunning shrewd.

      I have, with care, a house of cards set up,

      That may, by merest exhale of my breath

      Be toppl’d—each card falling o’er its neighbor.

      The king, e’en Yoda, rallies all his troops,

      Whilst Anakin doth make off with the queen.

      Count Dooku, that black-suited knave, doth serve,

      Yet these most regal cards shall soon collapse

      Upon the very whim of my firm will.

      Yea, Palpatine still holds the ace, and waits

      His turn to play the trump and take the trick.

      Let these poor Jedi come to render aid;

      They shall within my shuffle soon be swept.

      [Exit Palpatine.

      Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI with R4-P17 and ANAKIN SKYWALKER with R2-D2 in fighters, approaching the Separatist vessel.

      OBI-WAN

      A mighty battle over Coruscant!

      So many ships as though a million here

      Did fight above the planet’s atmosphere.

      Beset on ev’ry side by combat harsh,

      ’Tis difficult to tell who wins or loses.

      Yet how the skirmish ends is no concern

      Of ours, for we a nobler course pursue:

      The chancellor to rescue from the grasp

      Of Gen’ral Grievous, he of fitting name.

      ANAKIN

      Good Master Obi-Wan, I see the ship—

      The vessel wherein Grievous lays his claim—

      It lies directly forward in our path.

      Lock on, R2, we shall make our pursuit!

      Yet with some caution we must here proceed,

      For, lo, the ship is rife with vulture droids.

      OBI-WAN

      Forsooth, it is a simple-minded man

      Who says this mission shall be simple. Fie!

      Enter VULTURE DROIDS, attacking the Jedi’s fighters. Enter CLONE TROOPER PILOTS severally.

      VULTURES

      We swoop, we fly,

      Our foes shall die!

      OBI-WAN

      [into comlink:] Oddball, dost thou attend? Mark well my spot

      And form the squad behind whilst I approach.

      [Aside:] What odd, eccentric titles these clones have.

      TROOPER 1

      I come withal, good General Kenobi.

      The troops and I upon your will do wait.

      Now lock your S foils in attack position.

      ANAKIN

      The time of mirth and sport begins anon,

      For I do love a battle fought in space.

      OBI-WAN

      Pray, let the vulture droids fly in our midst.

      VULTURES

      Guard ye in back,

      We do attack!

      TROOPER 2

      E’en now they work me woe, I prithee get

      The awful beasties hence, away from me.

      ANAKIN

      I shall make way to help the trooper.

      OBI-WAN

      —Nay!

      They do their duty; so may we do ours.

      VULTURES

      We shoot our fire,

      You shall expire!

      ANAKIN

      ’Tis missiles they have launch’d with purpose rank.

      Pull up, so we the danger may avoid!

      OBI-WAN

      The fiends have overshot.

      ANAKIN

      —They do return:

      They seek the heat that powers our small ships.


      OBI-WAN

      R4, take thou evasive action, yet

      Do not evade thy senses as thou fliest.

      Be cautious—make our darting not too rough.

      ANAKIN

      Surge thou the power units, R2, then

      Make ready all our thrusters for reverse.

      This is but child’s play—these few missiles are

      No match for such a pilot as myself.

      Ha, ha! The missiles are confounded, see

      How they whirl and explode upon themselves!

      R2-D2

      Beep, meep, beep, squeak, beep, whistle, whistle, whee!

      OBI-WAN

      Alas, I am beset by foes’ pursuit—

      ’Tis my belief this flying is for droids,

      For humans have no wings for taking flight.

      VULTURES

      We board your ship,

      We’ll cut, we’ll rip!

      OBI-WAN

      The beasties are upon me now!

      ANAKIN

      —I see,

      The buzz droids have assail’d your ship. I come!

      R4-P17

      Blip, bleep, zip, whoop!

      OBI-WAN

      —Take care, R4, thou hast—

      Alack, my noble droid, what have they done?

      [The vulture droids rip off R4-P17’s head, destroying him.

      They shall shut down all my controls, I fear.

      ANAKIN

      Steer starboard, such that I may clearly shoot.

      I’ll give them recompense for dear R4.

      OBI-WAN

      Nay, focus on the mission. Get to the

      Command ship, there to save the chancellor.

      I have but few tricks left unto me here.

      VULTURES

      Make haste, be done,

      And all is won!

      ANAKIN

      Nay, nay, good Master, mine aim is precise!

      [Anakin shoots, killing some vulture droids but also hitting Obi-Wan’s ship.

      OBI-WAN

      O, in the name of all that’s—cease at once!

      Hold thou thy fire, for thou dost give no help.

      ANAKIN

      Agreed, my Master, mine apologies.

      The hands were quick to act, but not the mind.

      OBI-WAN

      My flight is blind—my cockpit is a fog,

      A haze past which I scarce can see mine hand,

      Much less the vessel whereunto I fly.

      The vulture droids still make their harsh attack—

      This is, mayhap, the end of Obi-Wan.

      [Anakin pilots his ship next to Obi-Wan’s fighter.

      ANAKIN

      Move thou still rightward.

      OBI-WAN

      —Patience, Anakin!

      Else thou shalt be the end of both of us.

      Away, go hence, there’s nothing thou canst do.

      ANAKIN

      I shall not part without you, Master, nay!

      VULTURES

      They stay to fight,

      We’ll show our might!

      [A vulture droid moves from Obi-Wan’s ship to Anakin’s and takes its place in front of R2-D2.

      ANAKIN

      Pray finish it, R2, and slay the beast.

      OBI-WAN

      Be sure, small droid, thou aimest for its eye—

      The center of its head, its core, its life.

      R2-D2

      [aside:] Some droids are made for help, still others war,

      Some droids are made for service, some for pain.

      Yet these are droids whose only naughty task

      Is sheer destruction. Happily I turn

      Their tricks on them. Have at you, rotten scrap!

      [R2-D2 shocks the droid in its eye, and it falls.

      Beep, meep, squeak, whistle, hoo, meep, squeak, beep, beep!

      ANAKIN

      Well done, my noble droid. Thou didst succeed!

      OBI-WAN

      Our thanks, R2. Would that thy counterpart,

      R4-P17, had been so bold.

      Yet now is he another astromech

      Who is a casualty of bitter war.

      ANAKIN

      The general’s command ship lies ahead—

      Almost we have attain’d the place we seek.

      R2-D2

      [aside:] O! They have not yet seen! [To Anakin:] Nee, hoo, nee, squeak!

      OBI-WAN

      Dost thou not see the shields are still intact?

      ANAKIN

      Beg pardon, I did miss that small detail.

      [Anakin veers to avoid the shield.

      I strike upon the generator there!

      The shield that was their strength is now their loss.

      [The shield dissipates, but a blast door begins to lower, covering the bay.

      OBI-WAN

      From one snag to another we do fly.

      I have a feeling bad about this moment!

      ANAKIN

      Let us make haste, I’ll warrant we shall make’t!

      [Obi-Wan, Anakin, and R2-D2 land inside the command ship just as the blast door closes.

      Exeunt other combatants, including vulture droids.

      Enter BATTLE DROIDS.

      OBI-WAN

      I hurtle out, with Jedi acumen:

      My ship crash-landed, now I fight on foot.

      Come, lightsaber, into my steady hand,

      And slay the battle droids who gather ’round.

      [Obi-Wan jumps from his ship and begins fighting as Anakin and R2-D2 disembark.

      ANAKIN

      The vessel down, now I shall rise at once.

      R2-D2

      [aside:] I come, too, to supply what aid I may.

      DROID 1

      They do appear—slay them at once, my comrades!

      [The battle droids begin shooting at Anakin, who deflects their approach.

      ANAKIN

      Fall, useless droids, upon my saber’s touch!

      OBI-WAN

      I had almost forgot how weak they are,

      How simple to destroy by Jedi might.

      R2, to thy work—find the chancellor!

      R2-D2

      Beep, whistle, squeak, meep, whistle, whistle, nee!

      [Obi-Wan and Anakin vanquish all the battle droids. R2-D2 plugs into the ship’s computer and projects a model of the ship.

      OBI-WAN

      The signal of the chancellor doth come

      From there, nearby the top spire of the ship,

      Whereon the observation platform rests.

      ANAKIN

      I sense Count Dooku.

      OBI-WAN

      —Yea, I sense a trap.

      ANAKIN

      How shall we then proceed?

      OBI-WAN

      —Our enemies

      Have gone to all the trouble of a trap,

      Wherein they do most fondly hope we’ll step.

      ’Twould be impolitic of us to then

      Refuse their invitation. Aye, I say,

      We’ll spring their trap and see if it shall hold.

      R2-D2

      [aside:] Shall they go thither sans their loyal droid?

      [To Obi-Wan and Anakin:] Beep, meep?

      ANAKIN

      —I prithee, R2, stay thou here.

      OBI-WAN

      Take this comlink along with thee, R2,

      And here await our orders.

      R2-D2

      —Beep, meep, hoo!

      [Exit R2-D2.

      Enter GENERAL GRIEVOUS and his CAPTAIN above, on balcony.

      GRIEVOUS

      What is the situation, Captain, eh?

      CAPTAIN

      Two Jedi have made landing in the bay,

      Our hangar primary. We track them now.

      GRIEVOUS

      ’Tis just as wise Count Dooku did declare—

      His foresight does him credit, verily.

      [Exeunt General Grievous and captain.

      Enter DROIDEKAS, firing on OBI-WAN and ANAKIN.

      ANAKIN

      Look, Master, ’tis destroyers come for us.

      Belike our foes do know
    that we are here.

      OBI-WAN

      Into the lift, and flee these brutal droids.

      [Exit droidekas as Obi-Wan and Anakin enter the lift.

      Enter BATTLE DROIDS, in lift.

      DROID 2

      Drop all your weapons on the instant, sirs.

      DROID 3

      Forsooth, forsooth.

      [Obi-Wan and Anakin quickly slay all the battle droids.

      OBI-WAN

      —’Tis nearly merriment,

      To ply our skill upon their feeble parts.

      [The lift suddenly stops.

      Hast thou depress’d the button for a stop?

      Or mayhap thou requested some sharp pause?

      ANAKIN

      Nay, sir, not I. And ’twas not your design?

      OBI-WAN

      Not I.

      ANAKIN

      —We shall another exit take,

      For ev’ry in doth have another out.

      [Anakin begins cutting the ceiling of the lift with his lightsaber.

      OBI-WAN

      Yet out is not my wish, for i would move.

      [Into comlink:] R2, canst thou now activate the lift,

      Which number’d is three-one-one-seven-four?

      Enter R2-D2 above, on balcony, hiding, as two SUPER BATTLE DROIDS enter with him.

      S. DROID 1

      Those are, indeed, two Jedi fighter ships.

      OBI-WAN

      Come in, R2.

      R2-D2

      [aside:] —Nay, not so loud, lest I

      Shall be discover’d where I am conceal’d.

      S. DROID 2

      What is that sound?

     


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