late on Friday
I also talk to the police
Nakazato-san—
the officer we spoke to about the sandal
plus one other man
I can’t answer all their questions
and some of the words I don’t know
but they won’t let Dad translate
which makes Dad blow up
so the questioning is halted
and Dad gets on his phone
hunting down legal support
we have visits from the principal
vice principal
head of the PTA
class parent leaders
Ōshima-sensei
who all promise change
in slightly different versions
and on Saturday
we drive to Yokohama
to meet with a counselor
we talk and talk
on and on
straight
through
the
weekend
then late Sunday afternoon
the doorbell rings again and
Ken and Shō are on our steps
with Yōhei hiding behind them
why’s he here? I ask
Yōhei hangs back
but Ken and Shō pull him
up the steps
and into our house
we sit in the living room
the three of them stiffly on the sofa
me at the edge of a chair
with Cora perched on its arm
Mom brings cups of tea
some rice crackers
sets them on the coffee table
but no one touches a thing
Mom and Dad
hover in the doorway
I sit on the chair
stone still
and Ken and Shō
nudge Yōhei
who presses his lips together
inhales
like he’s going under water
then exhales
a blast of apologies
for not being a friend
for telling Gō about the spare key
for not being able to stop Shunta and Gō
not being able to stop them? I say
you knew what they were planning!
you and Naho talked about it!
you went along with it!
and I don’t care
how my Japanese sounds—
smart, stupid, babyish, formal
I can’t stop yelling at him
and then he’s crying
and Mom is next to him
offering tissues
why didn’t you help me? I say
Yōhei covers his face
and says I tried!
I called 119—
even before your sister
came back
I stand up
but you let them attack me!
you didn’t even warn me!
it wasn’t an attack Yōhei says
it was a kind of game
Shunta pushed me down! I say
Shunta held me down!
Gō cut off my breath
that’s an attack!
Yōhei uncovers his face and says
I tried to stop them!
I thought I could divert them
I was trying to make them quit
that choking game thing
I went in case they did too much …
then my father’s in the room
and his voice booms
too much?
just when were you going to figure out
that ALL of this was too much?
when our son was dead?
choking is never a GAME!
next thing my mother’s ushering my father out of the room
saying that we need to continue this discussion
at another time, when their parents are here
when we can have someone professional here
someone to assist us, someone to mediate
but I call Dad back into the room
tell the story I say
that one about the white deer
and the French guy
he objects
doesn’t see the point right now
but I insist
no he says—
that story is “fakelore”
recorded by a Brooklyn man
not a Native storyteller
just tell it! I say
and so he sits down
heavily on the floor
closes his eyes
and tells it
in Japanese this time
a little changed and halting
but it’s mostly the same
and Yōhei quiets
and everyone’s still
I make Dad tell the story to the end
then ask him to go back to retell
the part where that one tribe member
brings the white deer to the Frenchman
and I say to Yōhei
you
you were like that member of the tribe
who sold the white deer
we were good friends
we were like a tribe
the four of us
but you …
uragiru is the word Dad used
and I can see the characters now
裏切る—literally, to backstab
and I try that word now in Japanese
you betrayed me
and that aches more
than my cracked rib
Chapter 37
SEAT CHANGE
I don’t have to
but I do
I return to school
to the Dragon’s Mouth
I can leave
when I want
switch to international school
when I want
Mom and Dad will find the money
somehow, they’ve said
but I’m thinking
I’ve worked hard
to read and write
Japanese
and I’m thinking
I have the right to graduate
with my sixth-grade class
in March
and I’m thinking
maybe I can start
to make things change
for others
Shunta and Gō
have been suspended
so when I return to school
on the Tuesday after
han six is me
plus three girls
who avoid
meeting my eyes
and the first
order of business
is seat change
but this time we don’t
draw slips of paper
this time Ōshima-sensei
calls out our names
and tells us where to sit
and this time
all six members
of han six
are split up
finally Ōshima-sensei talks about bullying
that it’s not just groups against one person
but also one or two against one person
and that three types of bullying are
verbal
social
physical
and that all three were used in our class
plus
damage of property
he says we all
need to reflect
and improve
he says
think about whether
or when you have been
bully
victim
or bystander
still there is no talk of
rules for
no hitting
or hands off
but school is basically calm
like a normal school day
should be
Cora and I go to Daiki’s
on Wednesday
&nbs
p; to start his English lessons
so he can move to Hawaii
he thinks I’m crazy to keep going
to my school but I tell him
that we reminded teachers, the PTA
even the police of his situation
I tell him we told them
that too many people
in the school, including adults
have been bystanders of bullying
I tell him the town is in the spotlight
and things have to change
Daiki says right
wait till those two guys
are back in school
then see how you feel
I tell him I’ll let him know
then we get started on English
and discover he’s been studying
plenty while he’s on his own
and actually is pretty good
Cora and I try to help him sound more natural
help him put words he knows into sentences
help him talk less like a teacher or textbook
we both want things
to be easier for him
in his school in Hawaii
we both know
what it’s like
not to have enough words
and we all know
it’s hard enough
just being different
then near the end of our “lesson” Daiki says
you both study in an English group, right?
do you think I could go, too?
and after that, on Mondays
Mom picks up Cora and me
and then Daiki
to go to English group
and Daiki doesn’t understand
all our words
but he learns fast
starts to trust the group
and likes how the olders
just accept him
no big deal
and how the youngers
act like he’s some
really cool
older brother
one day
and another go by
and inside the Dragon’s Mouth
my head is not smacked
and my body is not slammed
and I feel like I can ride my bike
through any neighborhood
again
I can’t do aikido
until my rib is healed
which is after the
demonstration day
I’d practiced so hard for
but I visit the dojo
and Yamada-sensei
makes me promise
to consult him if I ever
have problems again
he says aikido
is not a superpower
I should never think
I’m some superhero
just because I do aikido
he says we need to train
so that we sense danger
in order to avoid it
as we talk, kneeling in the dojo
all quiet before the students arrive
he says aikido is not
just to defend against attackers
but also to defend against stress
that aikido is training of body and mind
finding harmony and forgiveness
the world is full of all kinds of people
and some of them are a bit lost he says
but keep in mind the saying
‘sow good and the harvest will be good’
he looks at me
we have to try he says
Yamada-sensei asks me
if I want to continue my training
and I say I do
he asks if I’d like to help
with the beginner classes
while I’m healing
and maybe even after
and I bow
as far as my cracked rib
allows
because of course
I do
Chapter 38
REFLECTION
before Shunta and Gō
return to school
there are PTA meetings
and meetings of class parents
and meetings between Mom and Dad
and all the parents of former han six
and as Mom and Dad say
things might not change overnight
but at least people are now talking
and at least some are listening
and at least some are taking action
when I visit Takemura-san
to deliver a box of brownies
in thanks for the kite
that he and his daughter sent me
when they heard the news
he says he wants to go out for a walk
I’m not so sure about this
since he shuffles and gets stuck
and doesn’t seem very steady today
but I agree
and slowly
slowly
we go down the path
and cross the bridge
stopping to watch
a fish leaping
upriver
it’s a warm day for November
and the river, the trees
the air barely move
at the tilted pine park
we sit down on a bench
then I run to a vending machine
at the far end of the park
insert two coins and buy us each
a cool can of oolong tea
Takemura-san shuts his eyes
gulps and sighs
and when he’s done he thanks me
while tremors make his left leg
and the whole bench
jiggle
he gestures with his arm
to the river, the trees
toward the port and bay
this … he says is a good place …
peaceful
and it’s true
when you don’t have to
fear someone like Shunta
and his followers
it is a good, peaceful place
when Shunta and Gō
do return to school
under some kind of probation
ordered by family court
I keep my distance
and they keep theirs
Ōshima-sensei watches them closely
a teaching aide watches them closely
everyone watches them closely
still wary of what they might do
a counseling group
visits our school
to help resolve the situation
Ōshima-sensei says
there’s a grade six conference
and a smaller special session
with members of former han six
plus Yōhei, Shō, Ken, and kids
who have been my friends
even Satomi
we talk about incidents
and what happened
and we’re supposed to share
how we feel now
and how we felt then
but no one in class
wants to say too much
no one wants to rat
on anyone else
no one yet trusts
they won’t be a target
in the future
if they say too much
the counselors ask us
to write down our ideas
but it’s hard for me
to write these thoughts
especially in Japanese
and especially
when the problems
seem so obvious
I just want to move on
have nothing to do with
Shunta
Gō
Naho
Yuki
and Mika
but the counselor
asks me please
to write
and I remember some words
of my aikido sensei
about a
calm mind
being reflected in others
and so I write
and then I share
what I wrote
which is basically
that I want it to be okay to be different
that I don’t want any hitting allowed
that words from teachers are enough
they don’t need to hit students
that I don’t want kids to just watch
when something’s wrong
that I want our school to teach respect
that I think everyone, and I mean
everyone
should learn
aikido
Chapter 39
IN THE DRAGON’S MOUTH
that last point of which
was maybe a mistake
since now that I’m helping
with the beginner class
when Shunta shows up
at the dojo a few weeks later
in his brand new
stiff white gi
word having gotten
to family court
what I said about aikido
I have to teach him
Yamada-sensei knows
exactly who Shunta is
in relation to me
but he keeps saying
whenever Shunta’s not certain
about how to tie his belt
or the posture for the ki breathing
or how to tuck for the back rolls
or how to position his thumb for a hold
to watch or listen
to Pākā-kun
which is me
Parker
as in Jason Parker
not my first name
but my last name
for respect
at the end of his first class
Shunta’s there in the entryway
listening to the teacher
as I step out of the changing room
I hear Yamada-sensei tell Shunta—
Mori-kun he calls him
using his last name
that if he trains well
he might get his green belt
in a few months
I can see Shunta’s embarrassed
like I was
back when I was white belt
it seems like forever
until the first test
and the green belt
I hang back in a corner
fiddle with stuff in my bag
wait till Shunta’s gone
to leave the dojo
but when I step outside
Shunta’s still there
where the bikes are parked
talking with another kid
yellow belt
someone he knows
I almost turn around
and go back inside
to hide
but maybe because
I’ve just come from
the calm of the dojo
or maybe because I know
Yamada-sensei’s right inside
I find myself
going over to my bike