Jamie Grimm is a middle schooler on a mission: he wants to become the world's greatest standup comedian--even if he doesn't have a lot to laugh about these days. He's new in town and stuck living with his aunt, uncle, and their evil son Stevie, a bully who doesn't let Jamie's wheelchair stop him from messing with Jamie as much as possible. But Jamie doesn't let his situation get him down. When his Uncle Frankie mentions a contest called The Planet's Funniest Kid Comic, Jamie knows he has to enter. But are the judges only rewarding him out of pity because of his wheelchair, like Stevie suggests? Will Jamie ever share the secret of his troubled past instead of hiding behind his comedy act? Following the bestselling success of the hilarious Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life, James Patterson continues to dish out the funnies in another highly-illustrated, heartfelt middle school story. (Includes more than 175 black-and-white illustrations.)

The Gothic Vampire legend gets a demented and hysterical twist in this short story as a young teenage girl comes face to face with a tiny, tiny vampire.As a noun, time is defined as “The indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole.”As an anthology, Time is the collection of work written by award winning authors who all possess the talent, determination, and passion to bring to life the jumbled ideas contained within and present them in an entertaining and professional manner.Literary Underground is once again proud to present you with an excellent sampling of what the self published and up-and-coming authors of the world have to offer.Featured Authors:D.G. TurnerMary Ann BernalWayne DePriestV.R. ChristensenMJ HeiserBill Jones Jr.Richard SuttonJ.M. LeeM.C. ArvanitisSteven NovakCarla Hapke

Brett's lies are getting him into serious trouble. Can big brother Joe stop admiring himself long enough to help turn things around? Children's humor.Brett's lies are getting him into serious trouble. Can big brother Joe stop admiring himself long enough to help turn things around? The brothers verbally joust with each other as they travel toward the ultimate test which will decide if Brett becomes a 'person of substance' or stays the way he is. Children's humor.

Joe B. enjoys the sweet life as a vice president at a huge conglomerate, Universal Whirligig. But along with the Big Boss' favor, he has also gained the notice of a bitter human resources manager, Luci Fernandez. Hateful of any success but her own, Luci manages to get him demoted to the mail room! A rollicking comedy of errors follows. "The Job" is a modern parable of ancient troubles and truths.Feisty female-wrestler Kate beats Nick into a pulp. Gazing up at her sweat-soaked skin, red face, and narrowed eyes, something entirely unexpected happens… He falls in love. So begins a whirlwind romance, set in the romantic utopia of the Washington State High School Wrestling Meet. However, fractures quickly divide them. Nick fights the cloud of darkness that threatens to overwhelm him. Meanwhile, Kate harbors a secret, one that slowly eats away at her from the inside out. And in the end, if they can’t overcome their differences, one of them will die.

Mookie is tired of being victimized by the school bully and when he stumbles upon the web site, "Hell.org", he believes his prayers have been answered. But, is it worth the cost?From best-selling author Stephen England comes NIGHTSHADE, a new stand-alone short story in the Shadow Warriors series, predating the events of Pandora's Grave by several years."He wasn't supposed to be here. None of them were. That wasn't unusual--he'd spent well over ten years of his life going places he wasn't supposed to go, doing things he wasn't supposed to do. "CIA paramilitary operations officer Harry Nichols had brought his team to Ciudad del Este for a single purpose: eliminating Jean-Claude Manet, aka Ramzi bin Abdullah, the former head of al-Qaeda operations in Europe.It was supposed to be simple. But there's nothing simple about killing a man.

Kate wasn't your typical Oklahoma farm girl. She was ambitious, brilliant, and deadly. A born predator with a sweet, bashful smile.Have you ever read a book and thought, "gee I'd really like to know more about all those background characters!" Well we here at Team Pop Culture thought of that; because we're awesome, and we've got you covered. Behold, the Everything Sucks series! All of these short stories are stand-alones, and will make sense even if you haven't read the novel "Pop Culture Sucks, Manifesto of a Vampire" (*cough* it's a great book though *cough*)The series will either introduce you to, or expand on, various characters from the Pop Culture Universe. You'll get peeks at things like: Iris's time in the Underground Gary's life in the late 1940's Stitch, the Speakeasy barkeep And many all new charactersSo whether you're familiar with these guys or not, this is a series you should check out!

Are you a social drinker? Find out once and for all.This free book will answer all of your questions. If you have concerns read Nick J's other book, "In The Rooms and On The Couch."Have you ever wondered if you may be more than a social drinker? Finally, there is a book, a Free book, that will answer that nagging question once and for all. If you see yourself in even one of the examples, please by all means read, 'In The Rooms and On The Couch,' another book by Nick J. Most of all do not be too hard on yourself. Have fun. The book has pictures!

I've come to think that in times of crisis human beings don't have it in them to be rational. The Yazee gang was riding down upon us, six abreast. We all ran outside and confirmed that fact. The sensible thing would have been to run and hide -- but did we? Not at all. The narrator of Larry McMurtry's newest book is spunky Nellie Courtright, twenty-two years old and already wrapping every man in the West around her little finger. When she and her teenage brother Jackson are orphaned, she sweet-talks the local sheriff into hiring Jackson as a deputy, while she takes over the vacant job of town telegrapher. When, by pure blind luck, Jackson shoots down the entire Yazee gang, Nellie is quick to capitalize on his new notoriety by selling reviews to reporters. It seems wherever Nellie is, action is sure to happen, from a love affair with Buffalo Bill to a ringside seat at the O.K. Corral gunfight. Told with charm, humor, and an unparalleled zest for life, Nellie's story is the story of how the West was won.

Between these covers, teller and tales finally meet in a warm and joyful new collection that will bring delight to the hearts of readers the world over: James Herriot's Cat Stories. Here are Buster, the kitten who arrived on Christmas; Alfred, the cat at the sweet shop; little Emily, who lived with the gentleman tramp; and Olly and Ginny, the kittens who charmed readers when they first appeared at the Herriots' house in the worldwide bestseller Every Living Thing. And along with these come others, each story as memorable and heartwarming as the last, each told with that magical blend of gentle wit and human compassion that marks every word from James Herriot's pen.

"Disney is so good at being good that it manifests an evil; so uniformly efficient and courteous, so dependably clean and conscientious, so unfailingly entertaining that it's unreal, and therefore is an agent of pure wickedness. . . . Disney isn't in the business of exploiting Nature so much as striving to improve upon it, constantly fine-tuning God's work." --from TEAM RODENT TEAM RODENT How Disney Devours America "Revulsion is good. Revulsion is healthy. Each of us has limits, unarticulated boundaries of taste and tolerance, and sometimes we forget where they are. Peep Land is here to remind us; a fixed compass point by which we can govern our private behavior. Because being grossed out is essential to the human experience; without a perceived depravity, we'd have nothing against which to gauge the advance or decline of culture; our art, our music, our cinema, our books. Without sleaze, the yardstick shrinks at both ends. Team Rodent doesn't believe in sleaze, however, nor in old-fashioned revulsion. Square in the middle is where it wants us all to be, dependable consumers with predictable attitudes. The message, never stated but avuncularly implied, is that America's values ought to reflect those of the Walt Disney Company, and not the other way around."

This book is satirical - the genre is comedy. For a laugh. An ex-copper actually thought it was about real life. Now, that really is funny. It's about professional criminals playing games with the police, the courts and other criminals. It's an excursion in gentlemanly outfoxing, chicanery, double-dealing and one-upmanship in London and the English countryside. Policemen won't be amused.Around thirty years ago, the leading criminal lawyer in London had the most important cases in the country which were being heard in court no.1 at the Old Bailey. But, at the end of every day, you could hear the sound of laughter coming from his office as he and his colleagues talked about the day's events. Certain professional criminals like to play games with the police, the courts, their targets and other criminals. They try to gain control over everything and everyone, including judges - and especially the loot. They can be accomplished actors, charming, persuasive or experts in flattery. And the games that they play can often be absurd. The class system gives them the opportunity to become any character they want to be so that sometimes it can be difficult to tell who the real criminals are. This is an "excursion in gentlemanly outfoxing, chicanery, double-dealing and one-upmanship in London and the English countryside.

Lube up, dear reader, because this is the story that happens when the Muse starts talking dirty to you. This is a ten minute fellatio for your mind - sloppy and in your face. This is…What if the ancients were wrong? What if the delicate, graceful, vestal Muses were nothing more than dirty, divine whores looking to score some creativity from us mortals? What if they wobbled from Mozart to Proust to Da Vinci to Canaan, with their togas lopsided, eyes bloodshot, rubbing themselves against genius like cheap harlots?

In this collection of 21 essays, Michael Jenkins takes a humorous approach to the stresses of every day life. Whether he is questioning how a one-thumbed co-worker might turn a doorknob or is being followed by his creepy future self in a pornographic video store, Michael's essays are funny, honest, and philosophical as an immature man searching for identity in the adult worldIn this collection of 21 essays, Michael deals with the many frustrations and pratfalls that occur in every day life with a disharmonious style all his own. With comical observations based on a childhood wrought with bad horror movies and video games, Michael tackles the adventures of adulthood while still holding tightly to the ideals his childhood self once possessed.Such topics range from the basics, such as: job interviews, maintaining unhealthy relationships, and financial instability and get into the more obscure like: getting a driver's license photo by a mentally challenged person, traversing the adult video store in search of the perfect gift, or sitting down with a loved one and watching a documentary on sex dolls. Each essay is true and unique with a relatable self-deprecating style of humor to keep you entertained from start to finish.

Four farsighted mice get glasses — and a talking cat solves a family mystery — as the charmingly eccentric Mrs. Noodlekugel returns. When Mrs. Noodlekugel’s four mice make a terrible mess with cookie crumbs at tea, she decides to take them on the bus to visit the eye doctor — and invites Nick and Maxine to come along! The mice ride on Mrs. Noodlekugel’s hat, while Mr. Fuzzface, her talking cat, has the indignity of riding in a carrier. Afterward, the hungry crew head to Dirty Sally’s Lunchroom, but the mice overdo their cheesecake and run out the door. Luckily a policeman is at the ready to help with the search — as is a rough-edged, yarn-spinning alley cat with a surprising connection to Mr. Fuzzface! It’s all a day in the life of Daniel Pinkwater’s whimsical characters, in a chapter-book series whose comical tone and cozy illustrations are sure to keep young readers coming back for more.

The Lady of the Barge and Others, Entire Collection is presented here in a high quality paperback edition. This popular classic work by W. W. (William Wymark) Jacobs is in the English language, and may not include graphics or images from the original edition. If you enjoy the works of W. W. (William Wymark) Jacobs then we highly recommend this publication for your book collection.