Wow, it's already Volume 3 of TIW shorts! The third collection of totally pointless exactly 500 Challenge and exactly 200 Weekend Quickie word nonsense (plus a few collaborations and extra TIW things) to entertain you while doing whatever you do when reading.Wow, it's already Volume 3 of TIW shorts! The third collection of totally pointless exactly 500 Challenge and exactly 200 Weekend Quickie word nonsense (plus a few collaborations and extra TIW things) to entertain you while doing whatever you do when reading. For myself, it was a long and exciting half year in The Iron Writer. It has become a part of my life now, this TIW phenomenon, every week waiting for the next group of elements to hit the site and dwelling on the story which could link them all together in the style of my choice. It's thanks to this challenge that I can say I never suffer from writer's block - touch wood. In this third volume, I have also included some collaborations and TIW ‘experiments’, such as the Genre Mash Up from Miranda Hawley and impromptu relays which mainly involve a new and highly talented young TIW writer, Mathew W. Weaver , complete in a suit of armour – he is the Iron Writer Protection Program, his identity is a secret. Other writers include Neal Sayatovich, Jordan Bel , and Tony Jaeger. I'd like to thank these writers for writing their words and allowing me to publish them.In mentioning, I also cut the 10 worder 4 element challenge story "He tutted as she stood there in a mini skirt." (Challenge 45) down to a 'zhong', a form made famous by Ernest Hemingway, "He tutted as she smiled, naked."To finish, in Volume 2, I separated the Weekly Challenges from the Weekend Quickies though now I see that some continuity of ideas was lost and so everything in Volume 3 is in chronological order to show the development…if there was one.I hope you enjoy these short snippets just as much as I enjoyed writing them, and thanks again to Brian and all the other Iron Writers for allowing me into their community…I wouldn’t. If you are 'up to the Challenge', then go to...The Iron Writer dot com

Inspired by the classic work of George Orwell, the fiction is a short allegory. Radha is a cow of cattle society who tries to compare her society with the human world. It's a blend of humor,romance and philosophy. Entertaining and hillarious if you have a unique taste.The Write Group works out of the library in Montclair NJ and consists of over 400 members. The members work on a variety of writing projects including fiction (long and short), memoirs, essays and poetry. The main purpose of the Write Group is to encourage and encourage the members in their writing endeavors. The Montclair Write Group Sampler 2016 is the second anthology dedicated to showcasing the talent of the Write Group. In this edition, thirty-nine members are represented. There are eleven fiction works, eight essays, four memoirs, fifteen poems and a monologue. There’s something for everyone. Check it out.

The bestselling author of the American humor classic The Egg and I continues the adventure with this collection of tales about life on the fringe of the Western wilderness. Writing in the 1950s, Betty MacDonald, sophisticated and urbane, captivated readers with her observations about raising a family on an island in Puget Sound. As usual, humorist MacDonald is her own favorite target. She manages to get herself into scrapes with washing machines set adrift in rowboats, used cars, and a $25 Turkey Squasher. And then there's the scariest aspect of island life -- teenaged children.

Aaron was reluctant to get involved in the University Mad Scientist Society. But perhaps it was just what he needed to win back his girlfriend (and in the process stop the hijacking of the whole space-time continuum). You have to read this book now to make sure it hasn't already happened!Mad-Sci-Soc? It used to be a University club, a crazy one, but then it morphed into something else. Something that was not quite definable and definitely crazy. How do you solve all the problems facing civilisation: cyborgs out of control, super-powered vigilantes hogging the digital channels and keep your girl happy? There may be a parallel universe that did not start in New York, 2123; a universe that does not start with Mad-Sci-Soc and a broken fridge. But that is always the problem with disturbances in the space-time fabric; nothing makes sense except to the time traveller.

A quirky collection of seven short short stories of about 1000 words. Strange with dusting of sci-fi, these quick reads offer a brief escape into imaginary worlds with absurdity, excitement, and possibly a laugh. Or two. Three's a stretch. Warning: If a woman named “Aunty Ida” approaches you and offers a solution to your problem, doctors recommend running. Quickly.A quirky collection of seven short short stories, each about 1000 words or so. All strange with a light dusting of sci-fi, these quick reads offer a brief escape into imaginary worlds with fun, excitement, and possibly a laugh. Or two. Three might be a stretch. Warning: If a woman calling herself “Aunty Ida” approaches you and offers a solution to your problem, doctors recommend running. Quickly. Whatever direction she’s not in.Caution: Don’t try any of the proposed solutions at home, as they’ve been found to be scientifically absurd.Note: Imaginary animals may or may not exist. How should we know?

When Julianne writes a violent role in her play for her shy crush Leslie, she imagines she's letting him act out his secret desires. But the character she writes turns out to be more than her awkward classmate can handle and her words lead to tragedy. As the narrative peels back to reveal other angles and the layers of storytelling unravel around them, only one question remains: Who is The Author?Ever have one of those days when you aren't sure which side of the pen you're on? When Julianne writes a violent role in her play for her shy crush Leslie, she imagines she's letting him act out his secret desires. But the character she writes turns out to be more than her awkward classmate can handle and her words lead to tragedy. As the narrative peels back to reveal other angles and the layers of storytelling unravel around them, only one question remains: Who is The Author? From the author of The Love of Three Oranges, The Author is the Winner of the 2001 Julia Fonville Smithson Memorial Prize and the 2001 West Branch Literary Prize for Fiction.

Excerpts from the Velvet Paw of Asquith novels, the infamous international jet-setting adventures of Oscar Teabag-Dooven, involving greed, espionage and the odd foray into professional cheese-shaping.Consider a world inhabited with only cats and dogs: a society recognizable as our own, but with its eccentricities being the norm, rather than the exception. A world where the charm of Kenneth Grahame’s Wind In the Willows meets the exotic world of Ian Fleming’s Bond. A world where fluffy just got dangerous. These are the Velvet Paw of Asquith Novels, also known as the Dooven Books: welcome to the genre of New Fable.The books follow Oscar Teabag-Dooven, a secret agent who believes he's more poet than spy. He finds training brash and clinical, with far too much shouting and not enough singing. But triumphing over villains and thwarting their garish plans isn’t easy when unable to do much more than rhyme one lot of words with another. Nevertheless, he succeeds with the help of the characters he meets and a courage that arises when he believes it cannot.

A Rare Finds tale. Gilbert Solomon, a finder of rare objects, is hired to locate a prototype 50s-era robot. He soon finds it, but its owner won't give it up except in exchange for a rare issue of a men's magazine. When Gil finds a copy of the magazine, its owner likewise won't give it up except in trade, and so on and so on, the job threatening to become an endless chain of trades. 8400 words.A Rare Finds tale. Gilbert Solomon, a finder of rare objects, is hired to locate a prototype 50s-era robot. He soon finds it, but its current owner will let it go only in exchange for an equally rare item: one of the few surviving copies of a controversial men’s magazine. When Gil tracks down a copy of the magazine, its owner likewise insists on a trade. And so it goes, the job threatening to become a never-ending chain of trades, a job that winds up including everything from inept literary agents to nymphomaniac porn stars, from chocolate-cherry cheesecake to…kittens? Awww… 8,400 words

In Death in the Fifth Position, dashing P.R. man Peter Sargent is hired by a ballet company on the eve of a major upcoming performance.   Handling the press seems to be no problem, but when a rising star in the company is killed during the performance—dropped from thirty feet above the stage, crashing to her death in a perfect fifth position—Sargent has a real case on his hands.  As he ingratiates himself with the players behind the scenes (especially one lovely young ballerina), he finds that this seemingly graceful ballet company is performing their most dramatic acts behind the curtain.  There are sharp rivalries, sordid affairs, and shady characters.  Sargent, though, has no trouble staying on point and proving that the ballerina killer is no match for his keen eye and raffish charm. From the Trade Paperback edition.

Need a lift in your day? Then try these short, true, funny stories from humorist Allison Hawn! They're sure to make you giggle, smirk and guffaw!Are you having a rough day? Have you spent the day wishing you could high five someone in the face with your laptop? Are you currently contemplating if it would actually be harmful to exceed the recommended daily dose of ibuprofen? Then it sounds like you might need a little dose of laughter from humorist Allison Hawn! This free collection of true stories from the human magnet of all things bizarre in the universe is sure to make your day a bit less grim. With four brand new stories and two previously published tales, you are sure to giggle, smirk and guffaw. So escape from reality for a bit and snag a copy of Free the Shorts!

Planetary surveyors Fin and Carson battle hostile terrain, bureaucratic red tape, and renegade "planet crashers" in this latest novella by the talented author of Doomsday Book. Willis continues to demonstrate her endless versatility in this archly written satire, which is both a love story and a shameless expose of the dark side of political correctness.

Has a bee ever fallen into your shirt? Or has a spider crawled up your trouser leg? And while you were jumping around wildly and tearing at your clothes to get rid of the intruder, were you mortified when you couldn’t find it anywhere, leaving you to obsess about where it might be? ‘The Cockroach’ is a short and mischievous story that takes that horror to a higher and more uncomfortable level.Code of the Fates, is a science fiction & fantasy story that chronicles the adventures of the unlikely hero Captain, in the post oil age. Thousands of years into the future, world scientists compete to improve the human animal with woolier and keener traits from the animal kingdom. The fate of humanity's free will hangs in the balance when a potential mind-control weapon is implanted in the brain of a young man nick-named Code-E. To curb the potential world dominating power of a few greedy multinationals, the Fates create a hero out of a beer brewer, launching an adventure of vampire battles, banking revolutions and water rights wars.129,000+ word count / 155 pages depending on the reader. This novel is book 1 of the 2 book ode to impossible mini-series. Release date goal for book 2 is 2014.

The perfect gift for fans of George R. R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire novels and HBO’s Game of Thrones: a collection of wicked one-liners from the incomparable Imp of Casterly Rock, fully illustrated by Jonty Clark! “My mind is my weapon. My brother has his sword, King Robert has his warhammer, and I have my mind . . . and a mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone if it is to keep its edge.” The jealous masses of the Seven Kingdoms may call him Halfman, but none have ever accused Tyrion Lannister of being a halfwit. His golden tongue has saved his skin slightly more often than it has landed him in mortal peril. Now, this special illustrated volume preserves his most essential knowledge for future generations, featuring time-tested guidance on such varied subjects as . . . The art of persuasion “The best lies are seasoned with a bit of truth.” Fine dining “A little honest loathing can be refreshing, like a tart wine after too much sweet.” The fair sex “The young ones smell much better, but the old ones know more tricks.” Royal politics “Crowns do queer things to the heads beneath them.” Common ailments “A sword through the bowels. A sure cure for constipation.” At once charming, insightful, and ruthlessly irreverent, The Wit & Wisdom of Tyrion Lannister is short on pretense and overflowing with finely crafted gems—just like the man himself.

The Evening Harold has been the daily publication serving the village of Harold for the last 300 years. In March 2013, to mark the internet being available in the village for the first time, we decided to release the online version, EveningHarold.com , so it can be enjoyed by not only the residents of Harold, but also those in Dunstable and by the rest of the worldThe Evening Harold has been the daily publication serving the village of Harold for the last 300 years. In March 2013, to mark the internet being available in the village for the first time, we decided to release the online version, EveningHarold.com , so it can be enjoyed by not only the residents of Harold, but also those in Dunstable and by the rest of the world. Since launching we have been viewed over one million times, gained many honorary villagers through our FaceBook page and have an unblemished record of losing every defamation case brought against us. This free E-Book is a sample of articles and features from the website over the last year

Third volume of Eddie's old shorts, from the era of grunge and flannel. Contents: The 22nd and 24th President of the United States of America - "Grover Cleveland hates my guts." Breaking Up is Hard to Do - "The trip went pretty good, at first."The 22nd & 24th POTUS: Mitch's new relationship is going great. Except that her dog hates him.Breaking Up is Hard to Do: The thing about mixing business with pleasure is that the break-ups can make your work life really awkward. Particularly when you are a bank robber.