A short cautionary tale of one woman's Pavlovian response to the almighty telephone.The Ipswich Poetry Feast is a citywide initiative aimed at commemorating this significant event through the introduction of an annual international poetry writing competition and events that aims to encourage young and aspiring poets, to provide an opportunity for poets to showcase their work, to raise community awareness of the creativity and skills in poetry writing and top romote Ipswich as a vibrant, culturally rich region.

“America’s funniest science writer” (Washington Post) takes us down the hatch on an unforgettable tour. The alimentary canal is classic Mary Roach terrain: the questions explored in Gulp are as taboo, in their way, as the cadavers in Stiff and every bit as surreal as the universe of zero gravity explored in Packing for Mars. Why is crunchy food so appealing? Why is it so hard to find words for flavors and smells? Why doesn’t the stomach digest itself? How much can you eat before your stomach bursts? Can constipation kill you? Did it kill Elvis? In Gulp we meet scientists who tackle the questions no one else thinks of—or has the courage to ask. We go on location to a pet-food taste-test lab, a fecal transplant, and into a live stomach to observe the fate of a meal. With Roach at our side, we travel the world, meeting murderers and mad scientists, Eskimos and exorcists (who have occasionally administered holy water rectally), rabbis and terrorists—who, it turns out, for practical reasons do not conceal bombs in their digestive tracts. Like all of Roach’s books, Gulp is as much about human beings as it is about human bodies.

Overweight. Opinionated. Obsessed with video games and war movies. In U.S. Army basic training, Paul Sprungli connives, eats, and bumbles through ten weeks, running a contraband market, exploring religions, and facing military justice from a diminutive Drill Sergeant.Paul Sprungli. Overweight. Opinionated. Obsessed with video games and war movies. In U.S. Army basic training, he connives, eats, and bumbles through ten weeks, running a contraband market, exploring religions, and facing military justice from the diminutive Drill Sergeant Pint. Bunking with Sprungli is an exemplary soldier who succumbs to the most trying element of the modern U.S. Army's co-ed training environment: falling in love. Sprungli becomes the courier of notes, until he learns to doctor the messages and bring Drill Sergeant Pint into a fraternizing love triangle. A military comedy for the 21st century.

Avon the snail and Edward the ant are back for another funny--and philosophical--adventure. This time, Avon has decided he wants to be a writer, only to discover that writing is way more difficult than he ever imagined. He finally gets the word Something written down, but there's a problem: What to write next? Luckily, his friend Edward is there to advise. Brimming with wit, wisdom, and humor, this warm and winning tale of two friends on a quest will be enjoyed by readers (and writers) of all ages.  

SKINNY LEGS AND ALL: An Arab and a Jew open a restaurant together across the street from the United Nations.... It sounds like the beginning of an ethnic joke, but it's theaxis around which spins this gutsy, fun-loving, and alarmingly provocative novel, in which a bean can philosophizes, a dessert spoon mystifies, a young waitress takes on the New York art world, and a rowdy redneck welderdiscovers the lost god of Palestine--while the illusions that obscure humanity's view of the true universe fall away, one by one, like Salome's veils. Skinny Legs and All deals with today's mostsensitive issues: race, politics, marriage, art, religion, money, and lust. It weaves lyrically through what some call the "end days" of our planet. Refusing to avertits gaze from the horrors of the apocalypse, it also refuses to let the alleged end of the world spoil its mood. And its mood is defiantly upbeat. In the gloriously inventive TomRobbins style, here are characters, phrases, stories, and ideas that dance together on the page, wild and sexy, like Salome herself. Or was it Jezebel? "From theHardcover edition."

All countries have some interesting local characters out in their rural back blocks, but these two somewhat defective old-timers are in a league of their own.Noodles is left alone at home all day to guard the house while Granny is at work. After his rounds, he lies on a bed by a window. He remembers seeing some of the other dogs in the park playing with little boys, and he wishes he had a little boy to play with too. As he rests on the comfortable bed, a foggy mist from the river slips in slowly through the window as he relaxes more and more. Suddenly Noodles is startled to find himself floating and tumbling in fluffy white clouds in a blue sky. He doesn't know where he is. Just then Prince Jae Vaughn flies by on his dragon, Fire Tiger. He invites the dog to join him, and together they go on an adventure. They vanquish sorcerers and a witch, rescuing the lovely Lady Jesse Lynn and her dragon Hummingbird. After dinner Noodles falls asleep by the fireplace in the castle, wondering how he'll ever get back to Granny. The next thing he knows, he wakes up back on the bed at Granny's house, to the sounds of Granny returning home. He greets her happily, jumping up and down. She greets him happily too, telling him he's a good dog.

Join Bill Morison on his journey through corporate America, as he learns about auditing insurance and just how irritating people can be. This book contains office related humor, inspired by the author’s experiences in navigating through corporate life.The Trade Houses of the Miilark Islands control the shipping lanes linking four diverse continents across the blue vastness of the Interminable Ocean. The Houses are represented abroad by the Guilders; men and women skilled in business and burglary, salesmanship and swordplay, merchandising and musketry. Tilda Lanai has trained for years to take her place among them, but now the House she is to serve is imperiled by the sudden death of the House Lord. Scenting blood in the water, rival Houses begin to circle. The desperate search for an exiled heir takes Tilda across a war-torn continent and to the gates of the Sable City, where centuries ago dark magic almost destroyed the world. Along with a sinister sorceress, a broken-hearted samurai, and a miscreant mercenary long on charm but lousy with a crossbow, Tilda must brave the demon-infested ruins to find the heir who may yet save her House.

Canadian superspies Agent Diamond and Charming Guy are back, fighting against insipid literature in this new short story. No holiday cliché is safe! This book is a free download and it is intended as a 2014 holiday gift for one and all. Apologies in advance to those who knit.Tales of the Arcane is a monthly collection of short stories by those with a love for the art of story craft - both amateur and professional writers. The Tales will be mainly themed in the genre of the supernatural, though will cover a host of genres with changing short stories; or the continuation of longer stories as told in a serial chapter format.These works have been created by members of an online community, The Arcane Light, and endeavors to promote the written word and story-crafting by giving those wanting to develop their own writing style an outlet for their creativity.In this issue:Untitled:A short story of a pianist's reacquaintance with his lost lover.Silken Whispers - Casefile: The ButterflyThe ladies of Silken Whispers Artefact Recovery Agency undertake a new job in the South PacificMr. Tydings Casefile;A brief introduction of Mr. Tydings views on the secret world of shadows.

He can paint happy dreamy landscapes in 30 minutes or less -- guaranteed! -- but can he convince his broody teenaged son that the real world is anything other than a cruddy, joyless hellhole? Inspired by (but not depicting) the great Bob Ross. Because every happy little tree needs a friend, and everyone needs to remember there are beautiful places even in a busy world.The Dark Knight assembles the mightiest heroes of the DC universe to fend off the greatest threat the Earth has ever faced.

Dear Reader: Mercury's in retrograde, and folks in Beaumont, South Carolina, are dealing with gossip, scandal, misunderstandings, and more secrets than ever. Local pediatrician Maggie Farnsworth has even bigger worries. Her wild-girl past has caught up with her in the form of her ex-boyfriend, a jailbird who just flew the coop --- and is bent on tracking down Maggie and her daughter. Fortunately, FBI agent Zack Madden is on hand for protection. Unfortunately, his presence is turning up the heat on an attraction Maggie simply has no time for ... or does she? But Maggie and Zack aren't the only ones getting busy: Fleas, the hound dog, is up to his old tricks --- this time with Butterbean, a very alluring ... goat? Jamie Swift and millionaire Max Holt have babies on the brain. And resident psychic-slash-astrologer Destiny is fighting a crush of her own. Since the town's ice cream parlor is a magnet for gossip, no one can keep a secret and the sticky situations are getting even stickier ... It's the wildest time yet in the town we love to write about, with the characters we can't get enough of. So sit back, relax, and enjoy a FULL SCOOP of fun, adventure, and romance. Janet and Charlotte (THE AUTHORS)

Unsuitable romance is the theme of this wickedly comedic novel. A series of entanglements brings together an odd assortment of characters - clergymen, university dons, naive students, and academic hangers-on - with hilarious results.

All Lodge wants is for his gaming group to finish their adventure. Unfortunately, they're more interested in seducing barmaids, mooning their enemies, and setting random villagers on fire. Joined by that rarest creature of all - a girl! - they must overcome their bickering in order to save the kingdom.[Novelization of the award-winning independent film]All Lodge wants is for his gaming group to finish their adventure. Unfortunately, they're more interested in seducing barmaids, mooning their enemies, and setting random villagers on fire. Desperate to rein in his players, Lodge injects two newbies into the distrust: a non-player character controlled by Lodge, who the power gamers immediately distrust, and the rarest gamer of all -- a girl. Can the group overcome their bickering to save the kingdom, or will the evil necromancer Mort Kemnon triumph unopposed? A parody of fantasy films and the adventure gaming community, The Gamers: Dorkness Rising is a hilarious romp through the world of sword and sorcery - in this case, a world of exploding peasants, giant house cats, and undead roast turkeys. Game on![Novelization of the award-winning independent film by Dead Gentlemen Productions and Zombie Orpheus Entertainment]

Misanthrope, Percy Field, is completely at ease amongst his reserved middle England community. However, if he is to rescue his floundering marriage he must follow his wife and her job to Singapore. Percy’s new home is exactly as he imagined it to be: too hot, too humid, an annoying place where even his habitual comfort of picking fault doesn’t provide consolation, until friendship comes his way.In Book One of The Cult of Following trilogy, Englishman, Percy Field, takes his first uncertain steps towards a future no one could have foretold…Misanthrope, Percy Field, is completely at ease amongst his reserved middle England community. However, if he is to rescue his floundering marriage he must follow his wife and her job to Singapore. Percy’s new home is exactly as he imagined it to be: too hot, too humid, too different, an annoying place where even his habitual comfort of picking fault doesn’t provide enough consolation. Percy tries to improve his lot by making friends; a feat he has never before attempted, viewing it as unnecessary, undesirable and definitely not English! With the help of Singaporean, Joyann Tan, Percy begins to navigate the treacherous waters of social interaction only to find that unknown dangers lurk beneath the depths.

When Betty MacDonald married a marine and moved to a small chicken farm on the Olympic Peninsula in Washington State, she was largely unprepared for the rigors of life in the wild. With no running water, no electricity, a house in need of constant repair, and days that ran from four in the morning to nine at night, the MacDonalds had barely a moment to put their feet up and relax. And then came the children. Yet through every trial and pitfall—through chaos and catastrophe—this indomitable family somehow, mercifully, never lost its sense of humor. An immortal, hilarious and heartwarming classic about working a chicken farm in the Northwest, a part of which first appeared in a condensed serialization in the Atlantic monthly.

Barry Laverty, M.B., can barely find the village of Ballybucklebo on a map when he first sets out to seek gainful employment there, but already he knows that there is nowhere he would rather live than in the emerald hills and dales of Northern Ireland. The proud owner of a spanking-new medical degree and little else in the way of worldly possessions, Barry jumps at the chance to secure a position as an assistant in a small rural practice. At least until he meets Dr. Fingal Flahertie O'Reilly. The older physician, whose motto is to never let the patients get the upper hand, has his own way of doing things. At first, Barry can't decide if the pugnacious O'Reilly is the biggest charlatan he has ever met, or the best teacher he could ever hope for. Through O'Reilly Barry soon gets to know all of the village's colorful and endearing residents, including: A malingering Major and his equally hypochondriacal wife; An unwed servant girl, who refuses to divulge the father of her upcoming baby; A slightly daft old couple unable to marry for lack of a roof; And a host of other eccentric characters who make every day an education for the inexperienced young doctor. Ballybucklebo is long way from Belfast, and Barry is quick to discover that he still has a lot to learn about the quirks and traditions of country life. But with pluck and compassion and only the slightest touch of blarney, he will find out more about life--and love--than he ever imagined back in medical school. "An Irish Country Doctor" is a charming and engrossing tale that will captivate readers from the very first page--and leave them yearning to visit the Irish countryside of days gone by.