Burned-out private dick Michael McGill needs to jump-start his career. What he gets instead is a cattle prod to the crotch. The president's heroin-addicted chief of staff wants McGill to find the Constitution—the real one the Founding Fathers secretly devised for the time of gravest crisis. And with God, civility, and Mom's homemade apple pie already dead or dying, that time is now. But McGill has a talent for stumbling into every imaginable depravity—and this case is driving him even deeper into America's darkest, dankest underbelly, toward obscenities that boggle even his mind.

From the author of the instant New York Times bestseller Tenth of December comes a darkly comic short story, a fable about the all too real impact that we humans have on the environment—now available for the first time as an eBook. Fox 8 has always been known as the daydreamer in his pack, the one his fellow foxes regarded with a knowing snort and a roll of the eyes. That is, until Fox 8 develops a unique skill: He teaches himself to speak “Yuman” by hiding in the bushes outside a house and listening to children’s bedtime stories. The power of language fuels his abundant curiosity about people—even after “danjer” arrives in the form of a new shopping mall that cuts off his food supply, sending Fox 8 on a harrowing quest to help save his pack. Told with his distinctive blend of humor and pathos, Fox 8 showcases the extraordinary imaginative talents of George Saunders, whom the New York Times called “the writer for our time.” Praise for George Saunders and *Tenth of December “The best book you’ll read this year . . . more moving and emotionally accessible than anything that has come before.”—The New York Times Magazine “Saunders is a complete original, unlike anyone else.”—Dave Eggers “Affecting [and] wincingly funny . . . It’s no exaggeration to say that the short story master George Saunders helped change the trajectory of American fiction.”—The Wall Street Journal “Subversive, hilarious, and emotionally piercing.”—Jennifer Egan “Not since Twain has America produced a satirist this funny.”—Zadie Smith “George Saunders makes the all-but-impossible look effortless. We’re lucky to have him.”—Jonathan Franzen “Tenth of December* isn’t just [Saunders’s] most unexpected work yet; it’s also his best . . . as weird, scary, and devastating as America itself.”—NPR “An astoundingly tuned voice—graceful, dark, authentic, and funny—telling just the kinds of stories we need to get us through these times.”—Thomas Pynchon “The best short-story writer in English alive.” —Mary Karr

We See England, We See Xanth, We See Mels's UnderpanthIn fact, Gwenny Goblin, Che Centaur and Jenny Elf are just about the only creatures on Xanth who have been spared the sight of Mela Merwoman's undergarment -- preoccupied as they are with helping Gwenny beat out her awful half-brother Gobble for chiefship of the goblin horde. But first they must master space and thyme . . . and find the fabulous egg that sits between the Roc and the hard place. While Mela -- who would gladly relinquish her oft-viewed undies for a new husband -- joins the Adult Conspiracy . . . and quickly discovers the power of a perfect pair of panties!

This collection of literature attempts to compile many of the classic works that have stood the test of time and offer them at a reduced, affordable price, in an attractive volume so that everyone can enjoy them.

All Lily wanted was to be a normal high school student. Well, the most normal a six foot, three inch tall girl who was bigger and stronger than the average football player could be. And it really was wonderfully normal...until a Goblin fell in love with her. Now Lily is dodging Goblins, Ogres, and table cutlery in this amusing misadventure of awkward high school romance.O Goddess sing of how the Pink House wentFrom being fairly clean to state unkempt.A tale of debauchery, lies and television. A story about booze, drugs, sex, war, money, and burger boxes. A novel about a house. A Pink House that starts off structurally sound and then falls into millions of beautiful pieces.If you like this book, please donate to Giving What We Can top recommended charities:- Schistosomiasis Control Initiative- Against Malaria Foundation

Reuse, Reduce, Recycle shouldn’t include people. Normally, freezing to death in deep space is pretty permanent. But Engineer Josie Stein was just defrosted a thousand years in the future, aboard the U.F.S. Greenstar, a recycled spaceship on a mission to stop the self-destructive aliens of the galaxy from wiping themselves out.Reuse, Reduce, Recycle shouldn’t include people.Normally, freezing to death in deep space is pretty permanent. But Engineer Josie Stein was just defrosted a thousand years in the future, aboard the U.F.S. Greenstar, a recycled spaceship on a mission to stop the self-destructive aliens of the galaxy from wiping themselves out.If that wasn’t enough, she’s immediately elected captain. The last captain’s success rate was one hundred and sixty-seven alien species extinct to zero saved, so she can’t really do any worse. But how can she deal with aliens when she can no longer understand her own species?Inspired by Star Trek and Buck Rogers, Greenstar is a funny, action-packed take on the future, filled with strange aliens and neurotic characters.

Two men meet for a pint in a Dublin pub. They chew the fat, set the world to rights, take the piss… They talk about their wives, their kids, their kids’ pets, their football teams and – this being Ireland in 2011–12 –about the euro, the crash, the presidential election, the Queen’s visit. But these men are not parochial or small-minded; one of them knows where to find the missing Colonel Gaddafi (he’s working as a cleaner at Dublin Airport); they worry about Greek debt, the IMF and the bondholders ( whatever they might be); in their fashion, they mourn the deaths of Whitney Houston, Donna Summer, Davy Jones and Robin Gibb; and they ask each other the really important questions like ‘Would you ever let yourself be digitally enhanced?’ Inspired by a year’s worth of news, Two Pints distils the essence of Roddy Doyle’s comic genius. This book shares the concision of a collection of poems, and the timing of a virtuoso comedian.

Tom Angleberger's latest, loopiest middle-grade novel begins when M'Lady Luggertuck loosens her corset (it's never been loosened before!), thereby setting off a chain of events in which all the strict rules of Smugwick Manor are abandoned. When, as a result of "the Loosening," the precious family heirloom, the Luggertuck Lump (quite literally a lump), goes missing, the Luggertucks look for someone to blame. Is it Horton Halfpott, the good-natured but lowly kitchen boy who can't tell a lie? Or one of the many colorful cast members in this silly romp of a mystery.

Is Captain Rescue having a bad day, or is something more sinister happening?Bridget is used to being robbed. It’s one of the perks of living in her city. But she never imagined the one and only Captain Rescue would ever come to her aid... like this. After “taking care” of her would-be assailants, Captain Rescue practically kidnaps Bridget, whisking the reluctant teen away on a crime-fighting joyride.It doesn’t take long for her to suspect that Captain Rescue might very well have cracked. Is he just not the hero she thought he was, or is something more sinister going on here? Find out in... A Mind Not Worth Controlling. But wait, there’s more!If you enjoyed this short story -- and let’s not kid around here, you did -- then check out A Drizzle of Zombies! It’s Captain Rescue (and friends’) first full-length novel, and it’s a rompin’ good time.

Forever Days is the hilarious story of 5 friends. They meet at University and have the time of their lives. Upon graduating, they all make a pact: To meet at the same pub, on the same day every year, until one of them dies...Forever Days is the hilarious story of 5 friends. They meet at University and have the time of their lives. Upon graduating, they all make a pact: To meet at the same pub, on the same day every year, until one of them dies...Forever Days is a lighthearted look at the choices we make in life and the journeys we take.A heartwarming comedy which explores life's trials and tribulations from the bottom of a glass.

Nice Girls Don’t Sign a Lease Without a Wedding Ring OK, you asked for more Jane, so I offer you a little bite of the Nice Girls universe. There will be other short stories posted here in the future. And I might possibly participate in an anthology featuring Half-Moon Hollow's cast of weirdos. Enjoy!

Two in the Bush is a record of the six-month journey which took Gerald Durrell, his wife Jacquie, and two cameramen through New Zealand, Australia and Malaya. The object was, first, to see what was being done about the conservation of wild life in these countries, and, secondly, to make a series of television films for the BBC. They were introduced to many rare and remarkable animals – Royal Albatrosses, Tuataras, Duck-Billed Platypuses, Flying Lizards and Long-Nosed Bandicoots, as well as to some equally unusual humans. Anyone who has read The Overloaded Ark, The Bafut Beagles or The Whispering Land will have enjoyed Gerald Durrell’s enthusiastic adventuring and his delight in the absurdity of the situations in which he finds himself. His observation of animal – and human – behaviour is always informative and often hilarious. Gerald Durrell was one of Britain’s best-loved naturalists, whose books, including My Family and Other Animals, continue to entertain and amuse generations of children and adults alike. Fifteen of his classic titles have now been republished by Bello. ‘Delightfully readable and often very funny.’ *Daily Mail * ‘An account of Gerald Durrell’s tour of New Zealand, Australia and Malaya in search of rarities . . . Easy to read, difficult to put down, with many vivid sidelights on the human side of the expedition. This absorbing narrative reveals the ardours, ironies and disappointments, the organizational miracles and the hilarious human mishaps . . .’ Maurice Wiggin, *Sunday Times * ‘Mr Durrell has the knack of writing about animals and their antics with tremendous affection and enthusiasm, but without sentimentality.’ *Sunday Telegraph * ‘Will delight his fans and armchair naturalists everywhere.’ Evening Standard

'Breakfast on the Way to Brisbane' by Ken Blowers, is a set of nine delightful short stories, which once again takes the reader on a journey twisting and winding around South-East Queensland. Inspiration has been drawn from the trip between Caboolture and Brisbane, which serves as the perfect backdrop for Ken's character's to come to life.Following the success of his first collection of short stories 'Nightcap at Ningi Creek', Ken continues the theme with a collection of nine more light-hearted short stories set in South East Queensland. Perfect in content and length to read when catching a bite of lunch, and guaranteed to leave a smile on your face!Once again it starts in the Caboolture region, and then moves on to Brisbane, with these settings serving as the perfect backdrop for Ken's character's to come to life in 'Breakfast on the Way to Brisbane',This volume of short stories has something to offer everyone. Ken's ability to draw the reader into the everyday lives of regular people is most unique. You too can be immediately transported to a time and era that possibly no longer exists, to either reminisce, or choose your own adventure - in any event, your reading needs are more than catered for, with this smorgasbord of saga's.Whatever your choice, you will not be disappointed as the unexpected unfolds with every word, slowly revealing the conclusion like a mini Agatha Christie mystery.Once you start reading these stories you'll be hungry for more. Look out for Ken's next exciting volume of short stories coming soon.

A gang of adolescent terrorists, a spelling bee, and a terrible plan masquerading as a science project: This is Operation Havoc. Pygmy is one of a handful of young adults from a totalitarian state sent to the US disguised as exchange students. Living with American families to blend in, they are planning an unspecified act of massive terrorism that will bring this big dumb country and its fat dumb inhabitants to their knees. Palahniuk depicts Midwestern life through the eyes of this indoctrinated little killer in a cunning double-edged satire of American xenophobia.