A comedic, entertaining look at the difficulties associated with disposing the body of a friend.Getting rid of an article of trash can be difficult, there never seems to be any rubbish bins around when you need one. However this is a simple chore compared to the frustration and complexity of disposing a friend’s dead body."I Didn’t Mean to Kill My Best Friend" is a novella about two friends and their quest to dispose of a mutual friend’s body. Throughout the night, the duo is faced with various obstacles that prevent them from accomplishing their goal. "I Didn’t Mean to Kill My Best Friend" is a comedic, entertaining look at the difficulties associated with this grim task.*Featured ebook at the San Diego Comic-Con 2012Warning:Mild use of strong language and violent situations.Word count: 12,172What people are saying about this book:Rebecca Hurst (5 out of 5) - U.K.Brilliantly funny!A wonderful debut, sharp and witty with a distinctly fresh writing style and new approach to the genre. This novella, 'I didn't mean to kill my best friend' is an intelligent investigation of the relationship of two friends, and uses the murder of their mutual friend to explore how little things about your friendship can lead to the stickiest of ends! What I loved most about this book was the visual elements, and I could very well imagine it as a manga, illustrated novel and film. ------------Defaye (5 out of 5) - U.K.Exciting, Funny, Thrilling.A really entertaining short story. Read it in one session and was glued to it. If you like a bit of a thrill, the plot is bang on. The story revolves around two friends trying to ditch their murdered, mutual friend. Coupled along the way with satirical humour and moments of suspense. Can already imagine a film adaptation. ------------Sheila Deeth (4 out of 5) - U.S.Grim, humorous, odd and a fun short tale.Two Steves make the beginning of this short story a little confusing, but the confusion's part of the tale so it has to be excused. The characters aren't particularly pleasing, but their dilemma evokes memories of comedy movies and there's an enjoyable inevitability to their inept efforts to both salve their consciences and get rid of the best friend / worst enemy's body.While the conclusion is bounded by odd coincidence it has a certain logic of its own, preset by the story's direction. And there are some cleverly amusing discussions on the nature of life, death and relationships. The author has a nice touch with dialog and a casual off-beat humor. And the first person narration, mixing present tense thoughts with action in past tense, works surprisingly well.Short, definitely not sweet, but entertaining in a grimly satirical way.

It’s always wonderful when our main characters lived happily ever after! The problem is you have learned the wrong ending to these stories for years. This series of stories will enlighten you to rest of the story. Learn new events our favorite characters encountered after they lived happily ever after. Oh, they (mostly) lived happily ever after. It’s just different from what you realized!Many stories we’ve read through the years have had a happy ending. It’s always wonderful when we learn our main characters lived happily ever after! The problem is you have learned the wrong ending to these stories for years. This series of stories will enlighten you to rest of the story. Learn new events and new excitement our favorite characters encountered after they lived happily ever after. Oh, they (mostly) lived happily ever after. It’s just different from what you realized.Have you ever wondered what happened when Cinderella went to the castle to live happily ever after? Well, she’s not in the castle anymore! Did you know Beauty (from Beauty and the Beast) has a close friendship with six of the seven dwarfs? No, you didn’t, and that’s my point. In fact, where is the Beast today? You need to learn the rest of the story.It’s time to correct some of the myths about Sleeping Beauty. Did you know she had a snoring problem that disturbed the animals in the forest every night? It has bothered me that so many people do not realize Rumpelstiltskin is actually a good guy. He changed his ways and deserves a second chance. What about Rapunzel? She always dreamed about having a daughter with long, beautiful hair. Sorry, that might work in the movies, but that’s not what happened. Learn about problems Rapunzel’s son had when he went to summer camp.But there is much, much more! Jack (from the Beanstalk) makes a few appearances. Everybody knows Jack. Where is that mean giant? What happened when the Little Mermaid gained feet and went to live on dry land? You probably didn’t realize where her adventures led including a memorable appearance on American Idol. I’ll tell you all about it.Many other characters want you to know the truth about their stories. Some villains remain villains, but others get a bad rap. I’ll tell you who has changed for the better! And one last thing: Just because a guy gets the title of prince doesn’t mean he’s the guy you princesses want to connect with to live happily ever after. I think you’ll understand why after you read After Happily Ever After.Do you want to enjoy more stories from this series After Happily Ever After? Good news! Below are the initial collections of stories from the series After Happily Ever After. Look for even more collections in the future.(Introduction to Series)• The ‘Real’ Truth about Sleeping Beauty(Collection 1)• Little Mermaid on American Idol • Rapunzel’s Son Goes to Camp• 6 Dwarfs and Pocahontas Kickball Adventure(Collection 2)• Jack and Jill and Bo Peep’s Sheep• Beauty and Cinderella Have Moved On• Burger King and Dairy Queen

Joshua Harris is just the average blue collar guy, until one night he decides to buy a lotto ticket with his usual pack of beer. It turns out that the Jackpot winner might be someone from his town, however, Josh's life spirals into hilarity when he realizes that he can't find the ticket.Brach is a thief. He is a petty thief, but he steals a little more than he needs to survive. He is assisted in his chose profession by a unique set of abilities he has. When he concentrates, he can affect the way things move. He has bought 13 meals on the same gold coin and he gets change every time. After he pays, he just calls the coin back to him. He is always seeking a way to get ahead by using his ability. He is also looking for a girl.

Hope Delafield hasn't always had an easy life. She has red hair and a temper to match, as her mother is constantly reminding her. She can't wear heels, is terrified of heights and being a primary school teacher isn't exactly the job she dreamed of doing, especially when her class are stuck on the two times table. At least Hope has Jack, and Jack is the God of boyfriends. He's sweet, kind, funny, has a killer smile, a cool job on a fashion magazine and he's pretty (but in a manly way). Hope knew that Jack was The One ever since their first kiss after the Youth Club Disco and thirteen years later, they're still totally in love. Totally. They're even officially pre-engaged. And then Hope catches Jack kissing her best friend Susie... Does true love forgive and forget? Or does it get mad... and get even?

**Galápagos** takes the reader back one million years, to A.D. 1986. A simple vacation cruise suddenly becomes an evolutionary journey. Thanks to an apocalypse, a small group of survivors stranded on the Galápagos Islands are about to become the progenitors of a brave, new, and totally different human race. In this inimitable novel, America’s master satirist looks at our world and shows us all that is sadly, madly awry–and all that is worth saving.

Some tragedies are best left forgotten... Eva McRayne was sure that Greek mythology was just that: a myth. Fairy tales told to children who loved a good adventure story.Yet, when she encounters a Sibyl desperate to free herself from the chains binding her to Apollo, Eva realizes that the fairy tales are more than fantasy. They are her new reality.Dr. Felicity Hamilton-Smith desperately needs a change of scene so she signs up for a ten-day bike ride around Victoria. The last thing she expects is to run slap-bang into her former fiancé. For her, the past is over and best left behind, or so she thinks. The last time Dr. Drew Baxter saw Felicity was when he broke her heart when he left to serve in Afghanistan. Now, seeing her again, is breaking his.

Lernea, Theo and Bo have gone missing falling through a void vortex after destroying the Ygg infestation in Tallyflop.Ned, Winceham and Parcifal are brought to Rampatur City, a Human League sovereign state, where they must navigate through a political maze armed with nothing than good will.Lernea, Theo and Bo have gone missing falling through a void vortex after destroying the Ygg infestation in Tallyflop.Ned, Winceham and Parcifal are brought to Rampatur City, a Human League sovereign state, where they must navigate through a political maze armed with nothing than good will.Back in the Kingdom of Nomos, trouble is brewing and the Ygg must be dealt with decisively.It's all a game, but the winner is yet to be determined.

Stop what you're doing. Look around. Is this it? Snap out of it. Check your watch. Get back to work. Do not attempt to be different. Blend in. Buy something. The cycle must continue ... or does it? One man has broken free. Join him in his search for enlightenment, inner peace, and a really good pair of trousers.Stop what you're doing. Look around. Is this it? Snap out of it. Check your watch. Get back to work. Do not attempt to be different. Blend in. Buy something. The cycle must continue ... or does it?One man has broken free. Join him in his search for enlightenment, inner peace, and a really good pair of trousers. Witness his struggle to remain innocent in a world gone mad. Thrill to his rebellion against common sense. Laugh at his playful disregard for convention. Cry as layer after layer of modern life is peeled away like an onion.That man's name is Anthony Zen. Write that name down - that's "Zen" with a "Z". Now get back to work. Act normal. Check your watch. Do not attract attention. Buy something. Look both ways. Listen. No one is watching. Now is your chance. Diverge from the norm. Enter the wild world of "The Surreal Adventures of Anthony Zen". Escape. Laugh. Wonder. Check your watch. Sleep well and dream."The Surreal Adventures of Anthony Zen" is now available as a FREE eBook serial. Be sure to join us every two weeks for a thrilling episode!"Reminded me of ‘Rhinoceros’ - Ionesco."-- Colette Stevenson"Your stories reminded me of a cross between Lewis Carroll and Richard Brautigan" -- Larry Logan SATIRE - THE JOURNAL OF CONTEMPORARY SATIRE"North American authors, with the exception of a few (Kurt Vonnegut Jr., et al.), have very little sense of the absurd, something you’ve been cultivating, I think."-- C.F. Kennedy DRIFT/NECESSARY PRESS"We like the character and the writing." -- The Editors BLOOD AND APHORISMS"I enjoyed reading all four of your submissions [including the Anthony Zen stories 'Anthony Has Some Fun' and 'Another Day at Work']. You obviously have a well-developed sense of humor." -- Lisa B. Neuberger AMAZING STORIES"I [found] your Anthony Zen stories funny. In fact, I really enjoyed them. You obviously have a flair for nonsense, and a knack for turning cliches on their heads. The ability to find comic potential in the everyday mundanities of life is pretty rare, and the stuff that good comic writers are made of. I think it's obvious you have this same type of funny bone." -- Tim Bowling FLASH MAGAZINE

"You know, I like to pretend like I'm in a cartoon.""A cartoon?"He looked back and forth between me and the road ahead as he continued. "Yeah, like I'm in one of those crazy violent video games, or a James Bond movie, or a crazy violent James Bond video game... Or, to categorize all of that... a cartoon."John Mortenson is a highly intelligent but poor student at an Ivy League university. One day, when he returns to his dorm, he sees a note taped up to his door. It's an invitation to a philosophical discussion. Participants will be paid! Being in dire need of funds and a lover of philosophy, he decides to go. This may turn out to be the worst decision he's ever made.(This story was inspired by the true story of Ted Kaczynski, better known as the Unabomber, and the mind control experiments he was subjected to as a young Harvard student.)

Bits of fiction, sometimes in poetic form, mostly written for sharing in coffee shops and bars.These poems were initially shared at open-mic readings in bar rooms and coffee shops. The bulk of the work was written specifically for performance purposes. A few poems were written with publication in mind, but even those usually ended up being revised into spoken-word pieces in the end. These are the pieces that were written, read aloud, rewritten again and again. The proven crowd pleasers. The poems in this ebook are also available in paperback under the title, Lines to Voice, at Amazon.com.

Dave Trellis, world-weary steward of St Catherine’s allotments, copes nicely supporting the small, covert community of off-world visitors that live thereabouts.Dave just wants to get on, do some urgent lawn maintenance and get back to the misery. But first he must find a way to save the planet… Again.Welcome to the world of Dave Trellis…Dave Trellis, world-weary steward of St Catherine’s allotments, copes nicely supporting the small, covert community of off-world visitors that live thereabouts.What he doesn’t need is a lazy teenager growing marijuana, an imminent invasion of lethal alien insects, nor inappropriate liaisons between aforesaid lazy teen and his favourite off-world charge.That he lost his daughter to the last invasion doesn’t help, nor do the light opera loving off-world soldiers and their dog-like comrades-in-arms. Dave just wants to get on, do some urgent lawn maintenance and get back to the misery. But first he must find a way to save the planet… Again.Welcome to the world of Dave Trellis…

TOUCHDOWN! James Patterson will have kids busting out laughing as they follow lovable bad-boy Rafe's struggles to score big on the field--and in the social scene! In this seventh Middle School episode, Rafe heads back to the place his misadventures began: the dreaded Hills Village Middle School, where he's now being forced to take "special" classes.. He also finds himself joining the school's football team--alongside his main tormenter, Miller the Killer! But Rafe has grand plans for a better year: First, he decides to start a super-secret art project that's sure to rock the school. Then, if Rafe manages to make a play to save his team, he might have to deal with something completely new: popularity!

Originally drawn to the game by his father, Carl Hiaasen wisely quit golfing in 1973. But some ambitions refuse to die, and as the years–and memories of shanked 7-irons faded, it dawned on Carl that there might be one thing in life he could do better in middle age than he could as a youth. So gradually he ventured back to the dreaded driving range, this time as the father of a five-year-old son–and also as a grandfather. “What possesses a man to return in midlife to a game at which he’d never excelled in his prime, and which in fact had dealt him mostly failure, angst and exasperation? Here’s why I did it: I’m one sick bastard.” And thus we have Carl’s foray into a world of baffling titanium technology, high-priced golf gurus, bizarre infomercial gimmicks and the mind-bending phenomenon of Tiger Woods; a maddening universe of hooks and slices where Carl ultimately–and foolishly–agrees to compete in a country-club tournament against players who can actually hit the ball. “That’s the secret of the sport’s infernal seduction,” he writes. “It surrenders just enough good shots to let you talk yourself out of quitting.” Hiaasen’s chronicle of his shaky return to this bedeviling pastime and the ensuing demolition of his self-esteem–culminating with the savage 45-hole tournament–will have you rolling with laughter. Yet the bittersweet memories of playing with his own father and the glow he feels when watching his own young son belt the ball down the fairway will also touch your heart. Forget Tiger, Phil and Ernie. If you want to understand the true lure of golf, turn to Carl Hiaasen, who offers an extraordinary audiobook for the ordinary hacker. BONUS: This edition includes an excerpt from Carl Hiaasen's Bad Monkey.

When a freak accident exposes pharmaceutical company employee Bob to dangerous levels of the ADHD wonder drug, Tranquilify, Bob finds himself capable of superhuman focus and dedication to his mindlessly boring day job. But as the side effects become apparent, the question is no longer whether Bob can focus on his job--but what price will he pay for his dedication?Like every good American, Bob hates his job. He'd rather be playing guitar, goofing off, or spending time with his family. He dreams of being a rock star while he works just hard enough not to get fired at pharmaceutical company Happiness, Inc.All that changes when a freak accident exposes Bob to dangerous levels of the ADHD wonder drug, Tranquilify. Suddenly, Bob finds himself capable of superhuman focus and dedication to his mindlessly boring day job. But as the side effects become apparent, the question is no longer whether Bob can focus on his job--but what price will he pay for his dedication?

Meet Laurence Swift - inept, incompetent, idiot. When the fate of the world hangs in the balance due to the mysterious discovery and subsequent theft of Pandora's Box, he's probably the last man you' want to save the day. Yet somehow, by a miraculous turn of events that includes Dinosaurs, the Tour de France and a dartboard, he turns out to be the one man who can save the world from annihilation.Meet Laurence Swift - inept, incompetent, idiot. When the fate of the world hangs in the balance due to the mysterious discovery and subsequent theft of Pandora's Box, he's probably the last man you would want to save the day. Yet somehow, by a miraculous turn of events that includes Dinosaurs, the Tour de France and a dartboard, Laurence Swift turns out to be the only man who can prevent the world from being totally annihilated by a ruthless megalomaniac. Action, adventure, romance, comedy, it's all here in Laurence Swift & The Search For Pandora's Box.