For me, tonight is a reminder of what yesterday looked like—struggling in the dark to find space, a snatch of quiet in a house bustling with my three stair-step children, all born fifteen months apart, stretching another paycheck that did not go quite far enough, and pausing just long enough to catch the glints of light, the promises of better, in my then-six-year-old son Joshua’s eyes. But for them, I may never have embraced my life as a writer.
I am grateful to Joshua, my writing partner and creative soul mate, for pressing me forward. And also to Katherine, who was the first to read the compete draft and then phone me from her home on the West Coast with much-needed chapter-by-chapter critiques. Together, we walked through the characters, plot lines, scenes, and the all-too-familiar settings to be sure I was getting it right.
But, before I had a decent fifty pages, I bumped into my dear sister-friend Lisa Bloom in between segments at MSNBC. She introduced me to the woman who would quickly become my agent. The Universe, I believe, conspires to deliver goodness on our behalf. Laura Dail has been that goodness—gently poking and prodding me along. She was convinced of something I could not tell myself. Once I had a full manuscript, we set off to find the right publisher, and, again, The Universe delivered. I could not have asked for a better editor than Adam Bellow of All Points Books/St. Martin’s Press and his assistant, Kevin Reilly.
I am thankful for the “Ladies Who Lunch”—Darlene Trigg, Esther Green, Necole Merritt, and Patrice Tilford—women who know exactly what to do with a bottle of vodka, triple sec, a couple of lemons, and a bit of superfine sugar! Our decades-long friendship has steadied the rolling seas and stilled the winds.
It is because of “believing mirrors” like Stephanie Frederic, Steve Smith, Marcia Allert, Denise Taylor, Natasha Smith, and Sarah Burris that I am able to rise each morning knowing the fullness of grace. They are my before, during, and after friends.
There are my fellow “Beasts” at The Daily Beast, where I am editor-at-large. Among them are John Avlon, Harry Seigel, Michael Daly, Katie Zavadski, Tim Teeman, Kevin Fallon, and Noah Shachtman. Thank you for making me better.
To my “angels in the outfield”—Ahmir “Questlove” Thompson, Tamron Hall, Joy Ann Reid, Joan Walsh, Jake Tapper, Greg Sargent, Jon Allen, Arti Freeman, Terry McMillan, Bobbi Gillette, Caesar Mitchell, Keith Parker, Josh Mankiewicz, Soledad O’Brien, Ryan Grim, Bill Marks, Bill Crane, Brenda Wood, Bomani Jones, Stephanie Beasley Russell, Maggie Savarino, Eric Jerome Dickey, Debra Johnson, Gordon Hutchinson, Darrell “Pete” Peterson, Will McDade, Kasim Reed, and Andy Stanley—if I thanked you a thousand times each day for a thousand years, it would never be enough.
And, finally, as I lie here tonight, rapt with joy and gratitude, there is my sister Lizz Winstead, who opened her heart when mine was broken and gifted me with the time to heal.
ALSO BY GOLDIE TAYLOR
In My Father’s House
The January Girl
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
GOLDIE TAYLOR is a veteran journalist and cable news political analyst. She is currently editor-at-large at The Daily Beast, where she writes about national elections and social issues. A prior service U.S. Marine and former campaign strategist, Taylor has also served as a contributor for NBC News and MSNBC, and frequently appeared on CNN and HLN. The mother of three grown children and grandmother of two, Taylor lives in Atlanta and is wholly convinced—in her words—that “God has a sense of humor.”
Visit her online at www.goldietaylor.com, or sign up for email updates here.
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Contents
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
Epigraph
Author’s Note
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Five
Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Chapter Forty
Chapter Forty-One
Chapter Forty-Two
Chapter Forty-Three
Chapter Forty-Four
Chapter Forty-Five
Chapter Forty-Six
Chapter Forty-Seven
Chapter Forty-Eight
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
Also by Goldie Taylor
About the Author
Copyright
PAPER GODS. Copyright © 2018 by Goldie Taylor. All rights reserved. For information, address St. Martin’s Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010.
www.stmartins.com
Cover design by Ervin Serrano
Cover photographs: city © Raymond Boyd/Getty Images; woman © Ryan McVay/Getty Images
The Library of Congress has cataloged the print edition as follows:
eISBN 9781250194459
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First Edition: October 2018