M
M was a mill
Which stood on a hill,
And turned round and round
With a loud hummy sound.
m
Useful old mill!
N
N was a net
Which was thrown in the sea
To catch fish for dinner
For you and for me.
n
Nice little net!
* * *
O
O was an orange
So yellow and round:
When it fell off the tree,
It fell down to the ground.
o
Down to the ground!
P
P was a pig,
Who was not very big;
But his tail was too curly,
And that made him surly.
p
Cross little pig!
* * *
Q
Q was a quail
With a very short tail;
And he fed upon corn
In the evening and morn.
q
Quaint little quail!
R
R was a rabbit,
Who had a bad habit
Of eating the flowers
In gardens and bowers.
r
Naughty fat rabbit!
* * *
S
S was the sugar-tongs,
Nippity-nee,
To take up the sugar
To put in our tea.
s
Nippity-nee!
T
T was a tortoise,
All yellow and black:
He walked slowly away,
And he never came back.
t
Torty never came back!
* * *
U
U was an urn
All polished and bright,
And full of hot water
At noon and at night.
u
Useful old urn!
V
V was a villa
Which stood on a hill,
By the side of a river,
And close to a mill.
v
Nice little villa!
* * *
W
W was a whale
With a very long tail,
Whose movements were frantic
Across the Atlantic.
w
Monstrous old whale!
X
X was King Xerxes,
Who, more than all Turks, is
Renowned for his fashion
Of fury and passion.
x
Angry old Xerxes!
* * *
Y
Y was a yew,
Which flourished and grew
By a quiet abode
Near the side of a road.
y
Dark little yew!
Z
Z was some zinc,
So shiny and bright,
Which caused you to wink
In the sun’s merry light.
z
Beautiful zinc!
ALPHABET II. (1871)
A
a
A was once an apple-pie,
Pidy, Widy, Tidy, Pidy, Nice insidy, Apple-pie!
B
b
B was once a little bear,
Beary, Wary, Hairy, Beary, Taky cary, Little bear!
* * *
C
c
C was once a little cake,
Caky, Baky, Maky, Caky, Taky caky, Little cake!
D
d
D was once a little doll,
Dolly, Molly, Polly, Nolly, Nursy dolly, Little doll!
* * *
E
e
E was once a little eel,
Eely, Weely, Peely, Eely, Twirly, tweely, Little eel!
F
f
F was once a little fish,
Fishy, Wishy, Squishy, Fishy, In a dishy, Little fish!
* * *
G
g
G was once a little goose,
Goosy, Moosy, Boosey, Goosey, Waddly-woosy, Little goose!
H
h
H was once a little hen,
Henny, Chenny, Tenny, Henny. Eggsy-any, Little hen?
* * *
I
i
I was once a bottle of ink
Inky, Dinky, Thinky, Inky, Blacky minky, Bottle of ink!
J
j
J was once a jar of jam,
Jammy, Mammy, Clammy, Jammy, Sweety, swammy, Jar of jam!
K
k
K was once a little kite,
Kity, Whity, Flighty, Kity, Out of sighty, Little kite!
L
l
L was once a little lark,
Larky, Marky, Harky, Larky, In the parky, Little lark!
M
m
M was once a little mouse,
Mousy, Bousy, Sousy, Mousy, In the housy, Little mouse!
N
n
N was once a little needle,
Needly, Tweedly, Threedly, Needly, Wisky, wheedly, Little needle!
* * *
O
o
O was once a little owl,
Owly, Prowly, Howly, Owly, Browny fowly, Little owl!
P
p
P was once a little pump,
Pumpy, Slumpy, Flumpy, Pumpy, Dumpy, thumpy, Little pump!
* * *
Q
q
Q was once a little quail,
Quaily, Faily, Daily, Quaily, Stumpy-taily, Little quail!
R
r
R was once a little rose,
Rosy, Posy, Nosy, Rosy, Blows-y, grows-y, Little rose!
* * *
S
s
S was once a little shrimp, Shrimpy, Nimpy, Flimpy, Shrimpy. Jumpy, jimpy, Little shrimp!
T
t
T was once a little thrush,
Thrushy, Hushy, Bushy, Thrushy, Flitty, flushy, Little thrush!
* * *
U
u
U was once a little urn,
Urny, Burny, Turny, Urny, Bubbly, burny, Little urn!
V
v
V was once a little vine,
Viny, Winy, Twiny, Viny, Twisty-twiny, Little vine!
* * *
W
w
W was once a whale,
Whaly, Scaly, Shaly, Whaly, Tumbly-taily, Mighty whale!
X
x
X was once a great king Xerxes,
Xerxy, Perxy, Turxy, Xerxy, Linxy, lurxy, Great King Xerxes!
* * *
Y
y
Y was once a little yew,
Yewdy, Fewdy, Crudy, Yewdy, Growdy, grewdy, Little yew!
Z
z
Z was once a piece of zinc,
Tinky, Winky, Blinky, Tinky, Tinkly minky, Piece of zinc!
ALPHABET III. (1871)
A
A was an ape,
Who stole some white tape,
And tied up his toes
In four beautiful bows.
a!
Funny old Ape!
B
B was a bat,
Who slept all the day,
When the sun went away.
b!
Brown little bat!
C
C was a camel:
You rode on his hump;
And if you fell off,
You came down such a bump!
c!
What a high camel!
D
D was a dove,
Who lived in a wood,
With such pretty soft wings,
And so gentle and good!
d!
Dear little
Dove!
* * *
E
E was an eagle,
Who sat on the rocks,
And looked down on the fields
And the-far-away flocks.
e!
Beautiful eagle!
F
F was a fan
Made of beautiful stuff;
And when it was used,
It went puffy-puff-puff!
f!
Nice little fan.
G
G was a gooseberry,
Perfectly red;
To be made into jam,
And eaten with bread.
g!
Gooseberry red!
H
H was a heron,
Who stood in a stream:
The length of his neck
And his legs was extreme.
h!
Long-legged Heron!
I
I was an inkstand,
Which stood on a table,
With a nice pen to write with
When we are able.
i!
Neat little inkstand!
J
J was a jug,
So pretty and white,
With fresh water in it
At morning and night.
j!
Nice little jug!
K
K was a kingfisher:
Quickly he flew,
So bright and so pretty! —
Green, purple, and blue.
k!
Kingfisher, blue!
L
L was a lily,
So white and so sweet!
To see it and smell it
Was quite a nice treat.
l!
Beautiful Lily!
M
M was a man,
Who walked round and round;
And he wore a long coat
That came down to the ground.
m!
Funny old Man!
N
N was a nut
So smooth and so brown!
And when it was ripe,
It fell tumble-dum-down.
n!
Nice little Nut!
O
O was an oyster,
Who lived in his shell:
If you let him alone,
He felt perfectly well.
o!
Open-mouthed oyster!
P
P was a polly,
All red, blue, and green, —
The most beautiful polly
That ever was seen.
p!
Poor little Polly!
Q
Q was a quill
Made into a pen;
But I do not know where,
And I cannot say when.
q!
Nice little Quill!
R
R was a rattlesnake,
Rolled up so tight,
Those who saw him ran quickly,
r!
Rattlesnake bite!
S
S was a screw
To screw down a box;
And then it was fastened
Without any locks.
s!
Valuable screw!
T
T was a thimble,
Of silver so bright!
When placed on the finger,
It fitted so tight!
t!
Nice little thimble!
U
U was an upper-coat,
Woolly and warm,
To wear over all
In the snow or the storm.
u!
What a nice upper-coat!
V
V was a veil
With a border upon it,
And a ribbon to tie it
All round a pink bonnet.
v!
Pretty green Veil!
W
W was a watch,
Where, in letters of gold,
The hour of the day
You might always behold.
w!
Beautiful watch!
X
X was King Xerxes,
Who wore on his head A mighty large turban,
Green, yellow, and red.
x!
Look at King Xerxes!
Y
Y was a yak,
From the land of Thibet:
Except his white tail,
He was all black as jet.
y!
Look at the Yak!
Z
Z was a zebra,
All striped white and black;
And if he were tame,
You might ride on his back.
z!
Pretty striped Zebra!
MORE NONSENSE, PICTURES, RHYMES, BOTANY, ETC.
CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION.
NONSENSE BOTANY.
ONE HUNDRED NONSENSE PICTURES AND RHYMES.
There was a young person of Bantry
There was an Old Man at a Junction
There was an old person of Minety
There was an old man of Thermopylae
There was an old person of Deal
There was an old man on the Humber
There was an old man in a barge
There was an old man of Dunrose
There was an old man of Toulouse
There was an old person of Bree
There was an old person of Bromley
There was an old person of Shields
There was an old man of Dunluce
There was an old man of Dee-side
There was an old person in black
There was an old man of the Dargle
There was an old person of Pinner
There was an old person of China
There was an old man in a Marsh
There was an old person of Brill
There was an old person of Wick
There was an old man at a Station
There was an old man of Three Bridges
There was an old man of Hong Kong
There was a young person in green
There was an old person of Fife
There was an old man who screamed out
There was a young lady in white
There was an old person of Slough
There was an old person of Down
There was a young person in red
There was an old person of Hove
There was a young person in pink
There was an old lady of France
There was an old person of Putney
There was an old person of Loo
There was an old person of Woking
There was an old person of Dean
There was a young lady in blue
There was an old Man in a Garden
There was an old person of Pisa
There was an old person of Florence
There was an old person of Sheen
There was an old person of Ware
There was a young person of Janina
There was an old man of Cashmere
There was an old person of Cassel
There was an old person of Pett
There was an old man of Spithead