Someone’s going to pick up this book and wonder why I spent so much time in this series in Josiah’s head, allowing him to try to define where he fit into the equation. He reminisces a lot about what it was like to grow up in the ‘90s as a bisexual man, and how careful he had to be for all sorts of reasons. Like me, he didn’t have the chance to define himself in those formative years, although his experience was different from mine.
Some of the thoughts he has are thoughts that I had growing up, situations I struggled through alone, wondering if I was the only one. Maybe my brain was just broken. Maybe there was a devil inside me, tempting me to sin.
Going through all of that in the ‘90s and early 2000s was a rough and lonely ordeal. Today, I’m thankful for the conversations and visibility, for Pride and colored flags. A whole community of people on social media and YouTube have sprung up with a singular message: We see you and we welcome you, no matter what your experience is. There are safe places now where people like me don’t just pass, but we’re welcomed and invited to talk about our experiences.
So why does it matter that Josiah is bisexual? Why even bring it up? This isn’t a romance novel, after all.
Because who and how we love are huge parts of our identity, and I believe defining who we are is an important step to finding happiness.
I wear a lot of hats and play a lot of roles in life—mother, sister, wife, author—but I’ve struggled for a long time to define who I am without any of those labels. I think that’s human nature—defining and finding oneself—and isn’t that what Josiah’s story is all about? Finding his humanity?
I needed to write this story, not just for Josiah, but for me. It’s my coming out story in a lot of ways, my way of embracing a part of myself too long hidden in shadows. But it’s also for future generations, young people who might feel as I felt: alone and confused. So few people are telling our stories. I had the means and the opportunity to change that and add my voice. It’s made some people angry and uncomfortable if some of the original reviews are anything to judge by. Good. I’ve always said if fiction isn’t making you at least a little uncomfortable, it’s not doing its job. Complacency is a dangerous thing.
If you’re curious about the man who tattooed God, you’ll be able to find the short story for free on my website sometime in November: www.eacopen.com . There’s also a short story about Maggie and Josiah featured in Parallel Worlds: The Heroes Within, a bestselling anthology available here: My Book .
Look for Hell to Pay, the final installment of the Hellbent Halo series, in December.
Thanks for reading!
~E.A. Copen
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Books by E.A. Copen
The Lazarus Codex:
Death Wish (free prequel/mailing list magnet)
Death Rites
Organ Grind
Shallow Grave
Knight Shift
Death Match
Death’s Door
Night Terror
Dark Revel
Dark Horse
Casting Shadows
Hellbent Halo:
Fractured Souls
Smoke & Mirrors
Devil’s Due
Flesh and Blood
Standalone novel in the Lazarus Codex universe:
Master of Shadows
The Judah Black Novels:
Guilty by Association
Blood Debt
Chasing Ghosts
Playing with Fire
Other books:
Beasts of Babylon
Kiss of Vengeance
Cold Spell
Other LMBPN Publishing Books
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