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    The Lives and Times of Archy and Mehitabel

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      Marquis moved easily from one form of composition to another. In this book you will find prose in the guise of bad vers libre, poetry that is truly free verse, and rhymed verse. Whatever fiddle he plucked, he always produced a song. I think he was at his best in a piece like “warty bliggens,” which has the jewel-like perfection of poetry and contains cosmic reverberations along with high comedy. Beautiful to read, beautiful to think about. But I am making Archy sound awfully dull, I guess. (Why is it that when you praise a poet, or a roach, he begins to sound well worth shunning?)

      When I was helping edit an anthology of American humor some years ago, I recall that although we had no trouble deciding whether to include Don Marquis, we did have quite a time deciding where to work him in. The book had about a dozen sections; something by Marquis seemed to fit almost every one of them. He was parodist, historian, poet, clown, fable writer, satirist, reporter, and teller of tales. He had everything it takes, and more. We could have shut our eyes and dropped him in anywhere.

      At bottom Don Marquis was a poet, and his life followed the precarious pattern of a poet’s existence. He danced on bitter nights with Boreas, he ground out copy on drowsy afternoons when he felt no urge to write and in newspaper offices where he didn’t want to be. After he had exhausted himself columning, he tried playwriting and made a pot of money (on The Old Soak) and then lost it all on another play (about the Crucifixion). He tried Hollywood and was utterly miserable and angry, and came away with a violent, unprintable poem in his pocket describing the place. In his domestic life he suffered one tragedy after another—the death of a young son, the death of his first wife, the death of his daughter, finally the death of his second wife. Then sickness and poverty. All these things happened in the space of a few years. He was never a robust man—usually had a puffy, overweight look and a gray complexion. He loved to drink, and was told by doctors that he mustn’t. Some of the old tomcats at The Players remember the day when he came downstairs after a month on the wagon, ambled over to the bar, and announced: “I’ve conquered that god-damn will power of mine. Gimme a double scotch.”

      I think the new generation of newspaper readers is missing a lot that we used to have, and I am deeply sensible of what it meant to be a young man when Archy was at the top of his form and when Marquis was discussing the Almost Perfect State in the daily paper. Buying a paper then was quietly exciting, in a way that it has ceased to be.

      Marquis was by temperament a city dweller, and both his little friends were of the city: the cockroach, most common of city bugs; the cat, most indigenous of city mammals. Both, too, were tavern habitués, as was their boss. Here were perfect transmigrations of an American soul, this dissolute feline who was a dancer and always the lady, toujours gai, and this troubled insect who was a poet—both seeking expression, both vainly trying to reconcile art and life, both finding always that one gets in the way of the other. Their employer, in one of his more sober moods, once put the whole matter in a couple of lines.

      My heart has followed all my days

      Something I cannot name …

      Such is the lot of poets. Such was Marquis’s lot. Such, probably, is the lot even of bad poets. But bad poets can’t phrase it so simply.

      E. B. White

      archy and mehitabel

      reads it and sniffs at it

      the coming of archy

      the circumstances of Archy’s first appearance are narrated in the following extract from the Sun Dial column of the New York Sun.

      Dobbs Ferry possesses a rat which slips out of his lair at night and runs a typewriting machine in a garage. Unfortunately, he has always been interrupted by the watchman before he could produce a complete story.

      It was at first thought that the power which made the typewriter run was a ghost, instead of a rat. It seems likely to us that it was both a ghost and a rat. Mme. Blavatsky’s ego went into a white horse after she passed over, and someone’s personality has undoubtedly gone into this rat. It is an era of belief in communications from the spirit land.

      And since this matter had been reported in the public prints and seriously received we are no longer afraid of being ridiculed, and we do not mind making a statement of something that happened to our own typewriter only a couple of weeks ago.

      We came into our room earlier than usual in the morning, and discovered a gigantic cockroach jumping about upon the keys.

      He did not see us, and we watched him. He would climb painfully upon the framework of the machine and cast himself with all his force upon a key, head downward, and his weight and the impact of the blow were just sufficient to operate the machine, one slow letter after another. He could not work the capital letters, and he had a great deal of difficulty operating the mechanism that shifts the paper so that a fresh line may be started. We never saw a cockroach work so hard or perspire so freely in all our lives before. After about an hour of this frightfully difficult literary labor he fell to the floor exhausted, and we saw him creep feebly into a nest of the poems which are always there in profusion.

      Congratulating ourself that we had left a sheet of paper in the machine the night before so that all this work had not been in vain, we made an examination, and this is what we found:

      expression is the need of my soul

      i was once a vers libre bard

      but i died and my soul went into the body of a cockroach

      it has given me a new outlook upon life

      i see things from the under side now

      thank you for the apple peelings in the wastepaper basket

      but your paste is getting so stale i cant eat it

      there is a cat here called mehitabel i wish you would

      have

      removed she nearly ate me the other night why dont

      she

      catch rats that is what she is supposed to be for

      there is a rat here she should get without delay

      most of these rats here are just rats

      but this rat is like me he has a human soul in him

      he used to be a poet himself

      night after night i have written poetry for you

      on your typewriter

      and this big brute of a rat who used to be a poet

      comes out of his hole when it is done

      and reads it and sniffs at it

      he is jealous of my poetry

      he used to make fun of it when we were both human

      he was a punk poet himself

      and after he has read it he sneers

      and then he eats it

      i wish you would have mehitabel kill that rat

      or get a cat that is onto her job

      and i will write you a series of poems showing how

      things look

      to a cockroach

      that rats name is freddy

      the next time freddy dies i hope he wont be a rat

      but something smaller i hope i will be a rat

      in the next transmigration and freddy a cockroach

      i will teach him to sneer at my poetry then

      dont you ever eat any sandwiches in your office

      i havent had a crumb of bread for i dont know how long

      or a piece of ham or anything but apple parings

      and paste leave a piece of paper in your machine

      every night you can call me archy

      so stale i can t eat it

      i was cleopatra once she said

      mehitabel was once cleopatra

      boss i am disappointed in

      some of your readers they

      are always asking how does

      archy work the shift so as to get a

      new line or how does archy do

      this or do that they

      are always interested in technical

      details when the main question is

      whether the stuff is

      literature or not

      i wish you would leave

      that book of george moores on

      the floor

      mehitabel the cat and i
    want to

      read it i have discovered that

      mehitabel s soul formerly inhabited a

      human also at least that

      is what mehitabel is claiming these

      days it may be she got jealous of

      my prestige anyhow she and

      i have been talking it over in a

      friendly way who were you

      mehitabel i asked her i was

      cleopatra once she said well i said i

      suppose you lived in a palace you bet

      she said and what lovely fish dinners

      we used to have and licked her chops

      mehitabel would sell her soul for

      a plate of fish any day i told her i thought

      you were going to say you were

      the favorite wife of the emperor

      valerian he was some cat nip eh

      mehitabel but she did not get me

      archy

      the song of mehitabel

      this is the song of mehitabel

      of mehitabel the alley cat

      as i wrote you before boss

      mehitabel is a believer

      in the pythagorean

      theory of the transmigration

      of the soul and she claims

      that formerly her spirit

      was incarnated in the body

      of cleopatra

      that was a long time ago

      and one must not be

      surprised if mehitabel

      has forgotten some of her

      more regal manners

      i have had my ups and downs

      but wotthehell wotthehell

      yesterday sceptres and crowns

      fried oysters and velvet gowns

      and today i herd with bums

      but wotthehell wotthehell

      i wake the world from sleep

      as i caper and sing and leap

      when i sing my wild free tune

      wotthehell wotthehell

      under the blear eyed moon

      i am pelted with cast off shoon

      but wotthehell wotthehell

      do you think that i would change

      my present freedom to range

      for a castle or moated grange

      wotthehell wotthehell

      cage me and i d go frantic

      my life is so romantic

      capricious and corybantic

      and i m toujours gai toujours gai

      i know that i am bound

      for a journey down the sound

      in the midst of a refuse mound

      but wotthehell wotthehell

      oh i should worry and fret

      death and i will coquette

      there s a dance in the old dame yet

      toujours gai toujours gai

      i followed adown the street the pad of his rhythmical feet

      i once was an innocent kit

      wotthehell wotthehell

      with a ribbon my neck to fit

      and bells tied onto it

      o wotthehell wotthehell

      but a maltese cat came by

      with a come hither look in his eye

      and a song that soared to the sky

      and wotthehell wotthehell

      and i followed adown the street

      the pad of his rhythmical feet

      o permit me again to repeat

      wotthehell wotthehell

      my youth i shall never forget

      but there s nothing i really regret

      wotthehell wotthehell

      there s a dance in the old dame yet

      toujours gai toujours gai

      the things that i had not ought to

      i do because i ve gotto

      wotthehell wotthehell

      and i end with my favorite motto

      toujours gai toujours gai

      boss sometimes i think

      that our friend mehitabel

      is a trifle too gay

      lured off by a centipede

      pity the poor spiders

      i have just been reading

      an advertisement of a certain

      roach exterminator

      the human race little knows

      all the sadness it

      causes in the insect world

      i remember some weeks ago

      meeting a middle aged spider

      she was weeping

      what is the trouble i asked

      her it is these cursed

      fly swatters she replied

      they kill off all the flies

      and my family and i are starving

      to death it struck me as

      so pathetic that i made

      a little song about it

      as follows to wit

      twas an elderly mother spider

      grown gaunt and fierce and gray

      with her little ones crouched beside her

      who wept as she sang this lay

      curses on these here swatters

      what kills off all the flies

      for me and my little daughters

      unless we eats we dies

      swattin and swattin and swattin

      tis little else you hear

      and we ll soon be dead and forgotten

      with the cost of living so dear

      my husband he up and left me

      lured off by a centipede

      and he says as he bereft me

      tis wrong but i ll get a feed

      and me a working and working

      scouring the streets for food

      faithful and never shirking

      doing the best i could

      curses on these here swatters

      what kills off all the flies

      me and my poor little daughters

      unless we eats we dies

      only a withered spider

      feeble and worn and old

      and this is what

      you do when you swat

      you swatters cruel and cold

      i will admit that some

      of the insects do not lead

      noble lives but is every

      man s hand to be against them

      yours for less justice

      and more charity

      archy

      mehitabel s extensive past

      mehitabel the cat claims that

      she has a human soul

      also and has transmigrated

      from body to body and it

      may be so boss you

      remember i told you she accused

      herself of being cleopatra once i

      asked her about antony

      anthony who she asked me are

      you thinking of that

      song about rowley and gammon and

      spinach heigho for anthony rowley

      no i said mark antony the

      great roman the friend of

      caesar surely cleopatra you

      remember j caesar

      listen archy she said i

      have been so many different

      people in my time and met

      so many prominent gentlemen i

      wont lie to you or stall i

      do get my dates mixed sometimes

      think of how much i have had a

      chance to forget and i have

      always made a point of not

      carrying grudges over

      from one life to the next archy

      i have been

      used something fierce in my time but

      i am no bum sport archy

      i am a free spirit archy i

      look on myself as being

      quite a romantic character oh the

      queens i have been and the

      swell feeds i have ate

      a cockroach which you are

      and a poet which you used to be

      archy couldn t understand

      my feelings at having come

      down to this i have

      had bids to elegant feeds where poets

      and cockroaches would

      neither one be mentioned without a

      laugh archy i have had

      adventures bu
    t i

      have never been an adventuress

      one life up and the next life

      down archy but always a lady

      through it all and a

      good mixer too always the

      life of the party archy but never

      anything vulgar always free footed

      archy never tied down to

      a job or housework yes looking

      back on it all i can say is

      i had some romantic

      lives and some elegant times i

      have seen better days archy but

      whats the use of kicking kid its

      all in the game like a gentleman

      friend of mine used to say

      toujours gai kid toujours gai he

     


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