“I think it freezes the muscles or something,” Dan said. “All I know is that people come into her office with a lot of wrinkles, and leave with a smooth face. And a smile. It makes them happy.”
Dan took the bottle from me and squirted an ant that was crawling along the sidewalk. It stopped in its tracks. “No more wrinkles for you,” he said.
Just then, a fly buzzed right past my face. I grabbed the bottle from Dan and sprayed the fly.
It froze.
I don’t mean it stopped flying and fell to the ground. I mean, it froze right where it was, like someone had hit a PAUSE button.
“Wow…” I tapped the fly. It slid through the air, but stayed frozen.
Dan and I both looked around. I guess he had the same idea I did—what else could we freeze?
He grabbed the bottle and ran around to his backyard, freezing a butterfly and a couple beetles along the way.
I grabbed the bottle and froze another ant. That’s when we saw the squirrel. It was leaping from branch to branch on an apple tree, near the trash where I’d found the bottle. I figured it would be awesome to freeze the squirrel in midair.
“My turn,” Dan said, grabbing for the bottle.
“No, it isn’t.” I jerked my hand away.
“Share,” Dan said. “My mom threw it out.”
“I found it.” I dashed off, cutting toward the apple tree.
Dan caught up, and made a grab for my shoulder. I pulled free, and managed to smack my head on a low branch.
“Ow!” I felt a bad scratch under my eye.
“That’s going to sting a little,” Dan said. He started laughing.
Before I could say anything, something fell from the tree and bonked him on the head. It wasn’t an apple. It was big and gray.
“Hah!” I said as Dan flinched and grabbed his head. “You deserved that.” His pain made me happy.
And then, a thought wiped my smile away.
Apples aren’t big and gray.
And they usually don’t fall off trees in the early summer. I had a terrible feeling I knew what had smacked Dan. When I looked down, and saw I was right, my whole body got hit by a jolt of fear.
“Wasps!” I shouted.
I’d knocked a nest loose when I slammed into the tree.
A buzz filled the air as angry wasps streamed out of the broken nest.
My brain screamed RUN! But I guess it also sent a message to my hands. Acting without even thinking, I sprayed the wasps, and drenched the nest.
The wasps, both in the air and in the nest, all froze.
“Good thinking,” Dan said. “You saved us. You really are a genius. I’m amazed at your reflexes. You are such a quick thinker. Brilliant. Totally brilliant. Smartest kid on the block. Maybe even in the whole world.”
Just as I realized he was trying to distract me with compliments, he shot his hand out and snatched the bottle from me.
“Sucker,” he said.
I grabbed his arm as he tried to turn away. We wrestled. I lost my balance, but pulled him down with me as we fell.
I guess he squeezed the bottle by accident, because I felt a wet spray wash over my face. My body jolted to a stop before it hit the ground. I was frozen. So was Dan. I could barely see him, and I couldn’t move my eyes. But I could see right in front of my face. And I did not like what I saw at all.
I’d been about to fall right on the wasp nest. My nose was inches from it. Frozen wasps were all around me. I couldn’t feel my face, but I was pretty sure there were wasps pressing right against it. It’s a good thing they couldn’t move.
I hoped we wouldn’t be frozen forever. My lips wouldn’t move, but I could sort of move my tongue. I tried to say, This’ll wear off, right? It came out, “Issl ear oth, ight?”
“I oat so,” Dan said. I hope so.
I thought about what I’d just seen. First the ant had unfrozen, and then the fly.
That meant …
“Oh no!” I gasped, almost speaking clearly.
“Ut?” Dan asked.
“Wasps next,” I said.
Everything was unfreezing in the order it had been frozen. First the ant, then the fly. After that, the butterfly and the beetles. The wasps would be next, and I was pretty sure they would still be angry.
And when they unfroze, there was no way we could run from them, because we’d still be frozen.
Worse, when we unfroze, we’d finish our fall, and land right on top of the nest.
The wasps started to move.
One landed on my nose.
I felt myself falling.
This was going to sting.
A lot.
STARSCAPE BOOKS BY DAVID LUBAR
Novels
Flip
Hidden Talents
True Talents
Monsterrific Tales
Hyde and Shriek
The Vanishing Vampire
The Unwilling Witch
The Wavering Werewolf
The Gloomy Ghost
The Bully Bug
Nathan Abercrombie, Accidental Zombie Series
My Rotten Life
Dead Guy Spy
Goop Soup
The Big Stink
Enter the Zombie
Story Collections
Attack of the Vampire Weenies And Other Warped and Creepy Tales
Beware the Ninja Weenies And Other Warped and Creepy Tales
Check Out the Library Weenies And Other Warped and Creepy Tales
The Curse of the Campfire Weenies And Other Warped and Creepy Tales
In the Land of the Lawn Weenies And Other Warped and Creepy Tales
Invasion of the Road Weenies And Other Warped and Creepy Tales
Strikeout of the Bleacher Weenies And Other Warped and Creepy Tales
Wipeout of the Wireless Weenies And Other Warped and Creepy Tales
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
DAVID LUBAR credits his passion for short stories to his limited attention span and bad typing skills, though he has been known to sit still and peck at the keyboard long enough to write a novel or chapter book now and then, including Hidden Talents (an ALA Best Book for Young Adults) and My Rotten Life, which is currently under development for a cartoon series. He lives in Nazareth, Pennsylvania, with his amazing wife, and not too far from his amazing daughter. In his spare time, he takes naps on the couch. You can sign up for email updates here.
ABOUT THE ILLUSTRATOR
BILL MAYER is absolutely amazing. Bill’s crazy creatures, characters, and comic creations have been sought after for magazine covers, countless articles, and even stamps for the U.S. Postal Service. He has won almost every illustration award known to man and even some known to fish. Bill and his wife live in Decatur, Georgia. They have a son and three grandsons. You can sign up for email updates here.
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CONTENTS
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
Freestyle Frenzy
Groundhog Day
Back to Earth
Can You Stand Success?
The Splinter
Opening Day #1
The Pet Sitter
Watching Wendel
Off th
e Map
Opening Day #2
Danger Goose
A New Wrinkle
Starscape Books by David Lubar
About the Author and Illustrator
Copyright
This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in these stories are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
FREESTYLE FRENZY AND OTHER STORIES
Copyright © 2019 by David Lubar
Illustrations copyright © 2019 by Bill Mayer
All rights reserved.
Cover art and design by Bill Mayer
A Starscape Book
Published by Tom Doherty Associates
175 Fifth Avenue
New York, NY 10010
www.tor-forge.com
The Library of Congress has cataloged the print edition as follows:
Names: Lubar, David, author. | Mayer, Bill (Illustrator), illustrator.
Title: Teeny weenies tales: freestyle frenzy and other stories / David Lubar; illustrated by Bill Mayer.
Description: First edition. | New York: Starscape, 2019. | “A Tom Doherty Associates Book.” | Summary: A selection of twelve stories about mermaids, wishes-come-true, and other peculiar things with comic-book style illustrations.
Identifiers: LCCN 2018047176 | ISBN 9781250173508 (hardcover: alk. paper) | ISBN 9781250187741 (ebook)
Subjects: LCSH: Paranormal fiction. | Children’s stories, American. | CYAC: Supernatural—Fiction. | Short stories.
Classification: LCC PZ7.L96775 Tee 2019 | DDC Fic]—dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018047176
eISBN 9781250187741
Our ebooks may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use. Please contact the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at 1-800-221-7945, extension 5442, or by email at MacmillanSpecialMarkets@macmillan.com.
First Edition: April 2019