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    Amores

    Page 2
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    Shaper,

      The power of the melting, fusing Force--heat,

      light, all in one,

      Everything great and mysterious in one, swelling and

      shaping the dream in the flesh,

      As it swells and shapes a bud into blossom.

      Oh the terrible ecstasy of the consciousness that I

      am life!

      Oh the miracle of the whole, the widespread, labouring

      concentration

      Swelling mankind like one bud to bring forth the

      fruit of a dream,

      Oh the terror of lifting the innermost I out of the

      sweep of the impulse of life,

      And watching the great Thing labouring through the

      whole round flesh of the world;

      And striving to catch a glimpse of the shape of the

      coming dream,

      As it quickens within the labouring, white-hot metal,

      Catch the scent and the colour of the coming dream,

      Then to fall back exhausted into the unconscious,

      molten life!

      A WINTER'S TALE

      YESTERDAY the fields were only grey with scattered

      snow,

      And now the longest grass-leaves hardly emerge;

      Yet her deep footsteps mark the snow, and go

      On towards the pines at the hills' white verge.

      I cannot see her, since the mist's white scarf

      Obscures the dark wood and the dull orange sky;

      But she's waiting, I know, impatient and cold, half

      Sobs struggling into her frosty sigh.

      Why does she come so promptly, when she must

      know

      That she's only the nearer to the inevitable farewell;

      The hill is steep, on the snow my steps are slow--

      Why does she come, when she knows what I have to

      tell?

      EPILOGUE

      PATIENCE, little Heart.

      One day a heavy, June-hot woman

      Will enter and shut the door to stay.

      And when your stifling heart would summon

      Cool, lonely night, her roused breasts will keep the

      night at bay,

      Sitting in your room like two tiger-lilies

      Flaming on after sunset,

      Destroying the cool, lonely night with the glow of

      their hot twilight;

      There in the morning, still, while the fierce strange

      scent comes yet

      Stronger, hot and red; till you thirst for the

      daffodillies

      With an anguished, husky thirst that you cannot

      assuage,

      When the daffodillies are dead, and a woman of the

      dog-days holds you in gage.

      Patience, little Heart.

      A BABY RUNNING BAREFOOT

      WHEN the bare feet of the baby beat across the grass

      The little white feet nod like white flowers in the

      wind,

      They poise and run like ripples lapping across the

      water;

      And the sight of their white play among the grass

      Is like a little robin's song, winsome,

      Or as two white butterflies settle in the cup of one

      flower

      For a moment, then away with a flutter of wings.

      I long for the baby to wander hither to me

      Like a wind-shadow wandering over the water,

      So that she can stand on my knee

      With her little bare feet in my hands,

      Cool like syringa buds,

      Firm and silken like pink young peony flowers.

      DISCIPLINE

      IT is stormy, and raindrops cling like silver bees to

      the pane,

      The thin sycamores in the playground are swinging

      with flattened leaves;

      The heads of the boys move dimly through a yellow

      gloom that stains

      The class; over them all the dark net of my discipline

      weaves.

      It is no good, dear, gentleness and forbearance, I

      endured too long.

      I have pushed my hands in the dark soil, under the

      flower of my soul

      And the gentle leaves, and have felt where the roots

      are strong

      Fixed in the darkness, grappling for the deep soil's

      little control.

      And there is the dark, my darling, where the roots

      are entangled and fight

      Each one for its hold on the oblivious darkness, I

      know that there

      In the night where we first have being, before we rise

      on the light,

      We are not brothers, my darling, we fight and we

      do not spare.

      And in the original dark the roots cannot keep,

      cannot know

      Any communion whatever, but they bind themselves

      on to the dark,

      And drawing the darkness together, crush from it a

      twilight, a slow

      Burning that breaks at last into leaves and a flower's

      bright spark.

      I came to the boys with love, my dear, but they

      turned on me;

      I came with gentleness, with my heart 'twixt my

      hands like a bowl,

      Like a loving-cup, like a grail, but they spilt it

      triumphantly

      And tried to break the vessel, and to violate my

      soul.

      But what have I to do with the boys, deep down in

      my soul, my love?

      I throw from out of the darkness my self like a flower

      into sight,

      Like a flower from out of the night-time, I lift my

      face, and those

      Who will may warm their hands at me, comfort this

      night.

      But whosoever would pluck apart my flowering shall

      burn their hands,

      So flowers are tender folk, and roots can only hide,

      Yet my flowerings of love are a fire, and the scarlet

      brands

      Of my love are roses to look at, but flames to chide.

      But comfort me, my love, now the fires are low,

      Now I am broken to earth like a winter destroyed,

      and all

      Myself but a knowledge of roots, of roots in the dark

      that throw

      A net on the undersoil, which lies passive beneath

      their thrall.

      But comfort me, for henceforth my love is yours

      alone,

      To you alone will I offer the bowl, to you will I give

      My essence only, but love me, and I will atone

      To you for my general loving, atone as long as I live.

      SCENT OF IRISES

      A FAINT, sickening scent of irises

      Persists all morning. Here in a jar on the table

      A fine proud spike of purple irises

      Rising above the class-room litter, makes me unable

      To see the class's lifted and bended faces

      Save in a broken pattern, amid purple and gold and

      sable.

      I can smell the gorgeous bog-end, in its breathless

      Dazzle of may-blobs, when the marigold glare overcast

      you

      With fire on your cheeks and your brow and your

      chin as you dipped

      Your face in the marigold bunch, to touch and contrast

      you,

      Your own dark mouth with the bridal faint lady-smocks,

      Dissolved on the golden sorcery you should not

      outlast.

      You amid the bog-end's yellow incantation,

      You sitting in the cowslips of the meadow above
    ,

      Me, your shadow on the bog-flame, flowery may-blobs,

      Me full length in the cowslips, muttering you love;

      You, your soul like a lady-smock, lost, evanescent,

      You with your face all rich, like the sheen of a

      dove.

      You are always asking, do I remember, remember

      The butter-cup bog-end where the flowers rose up

      And kindled you over deep with a cast of gold?

      You ask again, do the healing days close up

      The open darkness which then drew us in,

      The dark which then drank up our brimming cup.

      You upon the dry, dead beech-leaves, in the fire of

      night

      Burnt like a sacrifice; you invisible;

      Only the fire of darkness, and the scent of you!

      --And yes, thank God, it still is possible

      The healing days shall close the darkness up

      Wherein we fainted like a smoke or dew.

      Like vapour, dew, or poison. Now, thank God,

      The fire of night is gone, and your face is ash

      Indistinguishable on the grey, chill day;

      The night has burnt us out, at last the good

      Dark fire burns on untroubled, without clash

      Of you upon the dead leaves saying me Yea.

      THE PROPHET

      AH, my darling, when over the purple horizon shall

      loom

      The shrouded mother of a new idea, men hide their

      faces,

      Cry out and fend her off, as she seeks her procreant

      groom,

      Wounding themselves against her, denying her

      fecund embraces.

      LAST WORDS TO MIRIAM

      YOURS is the shame and sorrow

      But the disgrace is mine;

      Your love was dark and thorough,

      Mine was the love of the sun for a flower

      He creates with his shine.

      I was diligent to explore you,

      Blossom you stalk by stalk,

      Till my fire of creation bore you

      Shrivelling down in the final dour

      Anguish--then I suffered a balk.

      I knew your pain, and it broke

      My fine, craftsman's nerve;

      Your body quailed at my stroke,

      And my courage failed to give you the last

      Fine torture you did deserve.

      You are shapely, you are adorned,

      But opaque and dull in the flesh,

      Who, had I but pierced with the thorned

      Fire-threshing anguish, were fused and cast

      In a lovely illumined mesh.

      Like a painted window: the best

      Suffering burnt through your flesh,

      Undrossed it and left it blest

      With a quivering sweet wisdom of grace: but

      now

      Who shall take you afresh?

      Now who will burn you free

      From your body's terrors and dross,

      Since the fire has failed in me?

      What man will stoop in your flesh to plough

      The shrieking cross?

      A mute, nearly beautiful thing

      Is your face, that fills me with shame

      As I see it hardening,

      Warping the perfect image of God,

      And darkening my eternal fame.

      MYSTERY

      Now I am all

      One bowl of kisses,

      Such as the tall

      Slim votaresses

      Of Egypt filled

      For a God's excesses.

      I lift to you

      My bowl of kisses,

      And through the temple's

      Blue recesses

      Cry out to you

      In wild caresses.

      And to my lips'

      Bright crimson rim

      The passion slips,

      And down my slim

      White body drips

      The shining hymn.

      And still before

      The altar I

      Exult the bowl

      Brimful, and cry

      To you to stoop

      And drink, Most High.

      Oh drink me up

      That I may be

      Within your cup

      Like a mystery,

      Like wine that is still

      In ecstasy.

      Glimmering still

      In ecstasy,

      Commingled wines

      Of you and me

      In one fulfil

      The mystery.

      PATIENCE

      A WIND comes from the north

      Blowing little flocks of birds

      Like spray across the town,

      And a train, roaring forth,

      Rushes stampeding down

      With cries and flying curds

      Of steam, out of the darkening north.

      Whither I turn and set

      Like a needle steadfastly,

      Waiting ever to get

      The news that she is free;

      But ever fixed, as yet,

      To the lode of her agony.

      BALLAD OF ANOTHER OPHELIA

      OH the green glimmer of apples in the orchard,

      Lamps in a wash of rain!

      Oh the wet walk of my brown hen through the stack-yard,

      Oh tears on the window pane!

      Nothing now will ripen the bright green apples,

      Full of disappointment and of rain,

      Brackish they will taste, of tears, when the yellow

      dapples

      Of autumn tell the withered tale again.

      All round the yard it is cluck, my brown hen,

      Cluck, and the rain-wet wings,

      Cluck, my marigold bird, and again

      Cluck for your yellow darlings.

      For the grey rat found the gold thirteen

      Huddled away in the dark,

      Flutter for a moment, oh the beast is quick and

      keen,

      Extinct one yellow-fluffy spark.

      Once I had a lover bright like running water,

      Once his face was laughing like the sky;

      Open like the sky looking down in all its laughter

      On the buttercups, and the buttercups was I.

      What, then, is there hidden in the skirts of all the

      blossom?

      What is peeping from your wings, oh mother

      hen?

      'Tis the sun who asks the question, in a lovely haste

      for wisdom;

      What a lovely haste for wisdom is in men!

      Yea, but it is cruel when undressed is all the blossom,

      And her shift is lying white upon the floor,

      That a grey one, like a shadow, like a rat, a thief, a

      rain-storm,

      Creeps upon her then and gathers in his store.

      Oh the grey garner that is full of half-grown apples,

      Oh the golden sparkles laid extinct!

      And oh, behind the cloud-sheaves, like yellow autumn

      dapples,

      Did you see the wicked sun that winked!

      RESTLESSNESS

      AT the open door of the room I stand and look at

      the night,

      Hold my hand to catch the raindrops, that slant into

      sight,

      Arriving grey from the darkness above suddenly into

      the light of the room.

      I will escape from the hollow room, the box of light,

      And be out in the bewildering darkness, which is

      always fecund, which might

      Mate my hungry soul with a germ of its womb.

      I will go out to the night, as a man goes down to the

      shore

      To draw his net through the surfs thin line, at the

      dawn before

      The sun warms the sea, little, lonely and sad, sifting

      the sobbing tide.

      I will sift
    the surf that edges the night, with my net,

      the four

      Strands of my eyes and my lips and my hands and my

      feet, sifting the store

      Of flotsam until my soul is tired or satisfied.

      I will catch in my eyes' quick net

      The faces of all the women as they go past,

      Bend over them with my soul, to cherish the wet

      Cheeks and wet hair a moment, saying: "Is it

      you?"

      Looking earnestly under the dark umbrellas, held

      fast

      Against the wind; and if, where the lamplight

      blew

      Its rainy swill about us, she answered me

      With a laugh and a merry wildness that it was she

      Who was seeking me, and had found me at last to

      free

      Me now from the stunting bonds of my chastity,

      How glad I should be!

      Moving along in the mysterious ebb of the night

      Pass the men whose eyes are shut like anemones in a

      dark pool;

      Why don't they open with vision and speak to me,

      what have they in sight?

      Why do I wander aimless among them, desirous

      fool?

      I can always linger over the huddled books on the

      stalls,

      Always gladden my amorous fingers with the touch

      of their leaves,

      Always kneel in courtship to the shelves in the

      doorways, where falls

      The shadow, always offer myself to one mistress,

      who always receives.

      But oh, it is not enough, it is all no good.

      There is something I want to feel in my running

      blood,

      Something I want to touch; I must hold my face to

      the rain,

      I must hold my face to the wind, and let it explain

      Me its life as it hurries in secret.

      I will trail my hands again through the drenched,

      cold leaves

      Till my hands are full of the chillness and touch of

      leaves,

      Till at length they induce me to sleep, and to forget.

      A BABY ASLEEP AFTER PAIN

      As a drenched, drowned bee

      Hangs numb and heavy from a bending flower,

      So clings to me

      My baby, her brown hair brushed with wet tears

      And laid against her cheek;

      Her soft white legs hanging heavily over my arm

      Swinging heavily to my movement as I walk.

      My sleeping baby hangs upon my life,

      Like a burden she hangs on me.

      She has always seemed so light,

      But now she is wet with tears and numb with pain

      Even her floating hair sinks heavily,

      Reaching downwards;

      As the wings of a drenched, drowned bee

      Are a heaviness, and a weariness.

      ANXIETY

      THE hoar-frost crumbles in the sun,

      The crisping steam of a train

      Melts in the air, while two black birds

      Sweep past the window again.

      Along the vacant road, a red

      Bicycle approaches; I wait

      In a thaw of anxiety, for the boy

      To leap down at our gate.

      He has passed us by; but is it

      Relief that starts in my breast?

      Or a deeper bruise of knowing that still

      She has no rest.

      THE PUNISHER

      I HAVE fetched the tears up out of the little wells,

      Scooped them up with small, iron words,

      Dripping over the runnels.

      The harsh, cold wind of my words drove on, and still

      I watched the tears on the guilty cheek of the boys

      Glitter and spill.

      Cringing Pity, and Love, white-handed, came

      Hovering about the Judgment which stood in my

      eyes,

      Whirling a flame.

      . . . . . . .

      The tears are dry, and the cheeks' young fruits are

      fresh

      With laughter, and clear the exonerated eyes, since

      pain

      Beat through the flesh.

      The Angel of Judgment has departed again to the

      Nearness.

      Desolate I am as a church whose lights are put out.

      And night enters in drearness.

      The fire rose up in the bush and blazed apace,

      The thorn-leaves crackled and twisted and sweated in

      anguish;

      Then God left the place.

      Like a flower that the frost has hugged and let go,

      my head

      Is heavy, and my heart beats slowly, laboriously,

      My strength is shed.

      THE END

      IF I could have put you in my heart,

      If but I could have wrapped you in myself,

      How glad I should have been!

      And now the chart

      Of memory unrolls again to me

      The course of our journey here, before we had to

      part.

      And oh, that you had never, never been

      Some of your selves, my love, that some

      Of your several faces I had never seen!

      And still they come before me, and they go,

      And I cry aloud in the moments that intervene.

      And oh, my love, as I rock for you to-night,

      And have not any longer any hope

      To heal the suffering, or make requite

      For all your life of asking and despair,

      I own that some of me is dead to-night.

      THE BRIDE

      MY love looks like a girl to-night,

     


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