Only 1830 miles to go. We’re over a third of the way.
October 1
We’re near South Lake Tahoe now, almost at the Sierras. It’s been really windy lately, and we’ve been pushing hard to stay ahead of some storms. Everyone worries about the bears and the mountain lions, but lightning can be a legitimate risk in high, exposed areas like these. I was also dealing with some nausea, probably from the elevation. Bucktooth gave me some chia seeds, which helped a bit. He joined us near Sierra City, but will probably outpace us soon.
It seems like we’re always hungry lately, so we’ve been calorie-loading at resupply points. We hitched a ride into town and stopped at a restaurant, where I ate a whole pizza, two burritos, and a milkshake. Mike had two sodas, one 8” pizza, two burgers, and three sides of fries. We haven’t eaten like this since we were teenagers.
We got a ride back from an awesome lady at the grocery store. There’ve been a lot of cows on the trail lately, and they all wear bear bells. Most of them run away from us, but there was one who just stood there, staring. There are also some chubby ground squirrels that might be related to prairie dogs. They made me think of Crystal, who’s a big fan of squirrels.
I’m not really sure who I’m writing to, but it’s nice to have a record, at least. My days feel long, especially when we’re trying to make camp at the end of a 30- or 40-mile day, but it’s hard to believe we’ve been on the trail for over two months already. If we keep up this pace, we’ll probably finish by mid-November.
1093 miles left. We’re over halfway now.
October 12
We made it to Kennedy Meadows. It wasn’t easy; much later in the year and we might’ve been toast. It snowed a few times and neither of us had enough layers, but we managed to get through it. We decided to skip Mt. Whitney, and it was a good thing, too, because I didn’t have enough food for it.
We’re taking a zero (rest day) today. Mike turned on his phone again last night, and had some messages from his mom. She’s been diagnosed with cancer, but she didn’t want him to leave the trail. I told him to fly back to be with her. The PCT will still be here next year, but with cancer, it’s never a sure thing.
I called my parents today, and had a good talk with them. It was nice to hear their voices, but I think I really just wanted to know that they were ok. I’ve met some amazing people on the PCT, from the couple who cooked us dinner outside of Seiad Valley, to hikers like Bucktooth, who we’d felt like we’d known for years. But I’ve only got one family, and I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to them. I guess I took it for granted that they’d be fine while I was gone, and that they’d be the same when I got back.
Before we got here, Mike and I were talking about hiking the Appalachian trail, and maybe someday the Continental Divide. I never really considered myself an outdoors person before, but there’s a simplicity to life out here, and it’s far more natural than spending my waking hours in a cubicle. I don’t know if I’ll be able to go back to my old job, even if I want to. The trail has a way of getting inside you.
After Mike heard about his mom, something changed in him. He said he hadn’t made up his mind yet, but I could see it in his eyes: he’d already given up the dream of finishing. It’s not fair, and I really hate to lose my favorite hiking buddy. But it feels like I need to keep going.
There’s still over a thousand miles left, but we’re through some of the hardest parts already. The desert might not be fun, but I think it’s doable this time of year. I want to do this – not just for me, but for Mike, too.
November 27
Hi Crystal,
I got your package yesterday. I didn’t believe them when they said it was for me. Sure enough, it had “Smeagol” written on it, and you even spelled it properly, too. Thanks for the food and supplies. It’s been a long time since I’ve had good chocolate, and I’d lost count of the holes in my socks.
I’ve been stranded here at Hiker’s Heaven for several days now. I slipped on a rock about 10 miles out. It was a dumb mistake so I tried to walk it off, but my ankle was throbbing. I’ve got a light sprain, and I have to stay off it for 10-14 days. I thought I’d be at the border by now, but instead I’ve been laid up less than 500 miles from the finish line.
I’ve been thinking about calling it here. Mike went home over a month ago, so what am I trying to prove? I’ve already had some amazing experiences and learned so much. I’ve got to go home at some point. Does it really make a difference when? Yesterday I had talked myself into quitting.
But then I got your box. I can’t tell you how much it meant to me, after being stranded here for days.
It’s great to hear that you’ve been writing, but most of all, that you haven’t given up on me. It was almost as good as one of your hugs.
It was harder than I expected to spend Thanksgiving among strangers. The trail family is great, but they’re a different kind of family, and nothing beats my mom’s mashed potatoes. I thought I appreciated my parents, especially with what Mike is going through, but I’m not sure that I do. I was taking it for granted that my parents are supportive, and that you’d be there for me. I overreacted about your mom, and I’m sorry that I let it come between us and what we had these past three years.
I know it might seem like too little, too late. And what I have to say next might not help my case.
My trail name is Smeagol. I was pretty annoyed by that at first. They could have called me something cool like Frodo or Samwise or Aragorn. I know it’s customary to pick a name that’s sort of dirty or embarrassing, but you know how I am about this stuff. It chafes my pride.
But then, over time, I got to thinking about it. My job has been so punishing lately. I lose so much sleep over it, and it’s always hanging around my neck like an anchor. I can’t relax anymore, because the job takes priority over everything. The stress of it drove us apart.
And in spite of that, I’ve clung to my position at the studio, desperately, as if my life depends on it. I’m ashamed to admit how much I need it. And that’s an awful lot like Gollum, when you think about it.
Smeagol was his better half. It’s the person he used to be, before the Ring corrupted him. So in that sense, the name is perfect. But I feel like I have a long way to go before I really deserve it. Right now they should probably call me Gollum.
I want to go back to being the person I was when I met you. I’m going to finish the journey I began back in July. There are 450 miles left, and maybe that’s enough time to leave behind the craven, light-shy creature that I feel like I’ve become. I hope you’ll still recognize me when I get home.
Tomorrow, I set off on the last leg of my epic journey. I’ve enclosed my letters, starting with Timberline Lodge. I didn’t address them to anyone in particular, but I’m pretty sure that I was writing to you this whole time. Mike had encouraged me to keep some distance and focus on the trail, but you’ve never been far from my mind. It’s impossible not to think of you, especially when I see squirrels and pikas.
Thanks for the supplies, and for your support. I was too hard on you about your mom, and I’m sorry. When I finally finish the trail, I’d like to see you again, if you’re willing. We have a lot to catch up on, and I’d love to hear more about your books.
-David
Boople Chat, Dec 2 12:41 PM
Lisa
it’s not nice to casually send me a picture of postcards from your estranged lover
Lisa
and then disappear for three hours
Lisa
you didn’t even include the back sides
Lisa
that chubby squirrel thing is pretty cute though
Lisa
maybe i should start making up captions
Lisa
“I like big nuts and I cannot lie”
Crystal
hey
Lisa
oh look
Lisa
you’re alive
Crystal
sorry
Crystal
i booked a zumba class this morning and mom decided to come with
Crystal
but it was too intense for her after five minutes so we went for a walk on the beach instead
Crystal
and then we were hungry so we got lunch
Lisa
a likely excuse
Crystal
:/
Crystal
so david got delayed because he sprained his ankle
Crystal
but he’s coming home in the next few weeks, and it sounds like he wants to talk
Lisa
did he apologize at least?
Crystal
pretty much
Crystal
i’m still a bit on the fence about the whole thing
Lisa
he was the one who left, you know
Lisa
you don’t have any obligation to see him
Crystal
i know
Crystal
but i don’t think he left just because of the mom thing
Crystal
his last project really tore him up
Lisa
quarter life crisis, then?
Crystal
something like that
Crystal
anyway he’s got 450 miles left to go
Crystal
it feels like he’s accomplished so much, but i’ve been writing for months and i’m still not done with my novel
Lisa
the fairytale one?
Crystal
yeah the rapunzel sequel
Crystal
i’m stuck near the end
Lisa
aw
Lisa
you’re not giving up, are you?
Crystal
not yet
Crystal
but i think it’s time i started looking for a job
Lisa
i thought you already were, for unemployment and all
Crystal
i mean a job i’m actually qualified for
Crystal
unemployment isn’t going to last forever
Crystal
and i’d really like to move out
Lisa
things with adam are going well, then?
Crystal
yeah but that’s not the reason
Crystal
i haven’t told david that i’m living with mom
Crystal
i just said i had a roommate
Lisa
oh right
Lisa
you don’t have to apologize to him for living with her
Crystal
i know
Crystal
i did it for my writing
Crystal
but now that i have more time than ever to write, i can’t type a single word
Lisa
well don’t be too hard on yourself
Lisa
you might just need a break
Crystal
hmm maybe
Crystal
i guess i just don’t want david to be disappointed, you know?
Crystal
he went on this huge life-changing journey but it feels like i’m back to where i was in high school
Lisa
but you’ve written almost an entire novel
Lisa
and once you get a job, you can always get a place of your own again
Crystal
TRUE
Lisa
just don’t sell yourself short, ok?
Lisa
you’ve been through a lot this year
Crystal
yeah, thanks
Lisa
btw what’s your take on adam?
Lisa
do you think he’s good for mom?
Crystal
i wasn’t sure at first
Crystal
she’s been acting pretty silly around him, and it’s a little embarrassing
Lisa
like she’s making puns or lovestruck?
Crystal
lovestruck
Crystal
but honestly i think it’s been a good thing overall
Crystal
grandma dropped the whole HHHA party on mom and she didn’t freak out at all
Lisa
not even a tear?
Crystal
nope, no meltdown whatsoever
Lisa
wow
Crystal
yeah
Crystal
plus i actually have some downtime again
Lisa
that’s good
Crystal
but i think adam has been good for her, too
Crystal
she’s paying a little more attention to her appearance lately
Crystal
and she’s been more confident too
Lisa
well in that case i’m on board
Lisa
would be nice to see a picture of him at some point
Crystal
oh yeah he keeps taking pictures of mom
Crystal
i’ll try to get you one
Lisa
cool thanks
Lisa
btw i was thinking of sending grandma another fruit box for xmas
Lisa
want to go in together?
Crystal
sure
Crystal
i’d try to be more creative but she can pretty much buy what she wants
Crystal
and she seems to enjoy the fruit every time
Lisa
i heard some of her HHHA friends were jealous of the pears
Crystal
LOL
Crystal
then fancy pears it is
Lisa
how much do you want to do?
Crystal
is $15 ok? i’m still a little tight on money
Lisa
sure np
Lisa
mom said something about freelance work though?
Crystal
it’s just a short-term thing
Crystal
probably won’t last much longer
Crystal
just transferred the money to you
Lisa
thanks
Crystal
oh and don’t forget
Crystal
grandma’s surgery is tomorrow
Lisa
oh right, thanks
Lisa
i’ll send her some flowers
Lisa
want me to put your name on the card?
Crystal
thanks, but i’m already in on mom’s bouquet ;)
Lisa
i see how it is
Crystal
aw hehe
Crystal
sorry but i’ve gotta run
Crystal
mom needs help prepping for the farmers’ market again
Lisa
ok have fun
Crystal
thanks ttyl
Email, December 2
From: Margot Hemmingway <margot.hemmingway@booplemail.com>
To: Eric Robertson <eric@ericrobertson.com>
Subject: HHHA Commemorative Video
Hello Eric,
I hope you are doing well. My mother, Peggy, is a member of the Northfield HHHA and said that you may have offered to make a commemorative video for our holiday fundraiser.
Unfortunately, we would need the video by December 24. I realize that this is very short notice, and I’m sure you must be up to your ears in Christmas card photoshoots and weddings and whatnot. My mother also seemed to be under the impression that a professional such as yourself would want to make a 20-minute video in exchange for a single comp ticket, which we are currently selling for $22.
I’m sure that this was just a misunderstanding, so there’s no need to m
ake a video. However, I felt I should at least offer you a comp ticket, in case you had plans to be in the area already, and were interested in spending Christmas eve with a bunch of blue-haired ladies.
Sorry again for the trouble.
Take care,
Margot
Email, December 2
From: Eric Robertson <eric@ericrobertson.com>
To: Margot Hemmingway <margot.hemmingway@booplemail.com>
Subject: Re: HHHA Commemorative Video
Hi Margot,
It’s nice to hear from you. I didn’t realize you were still working with HHHA Northfield. Are you back in Minnesota?
Work is keeping me busy as usual, but your commemorative video would be a nice change of pace. It would be inconsiderate to back out now, especially since your mother has already put together the accompanying playlist and tap dance routine. It seems the commemorative video is as vital as ever, and this professional will rise to the challenge.
I do have some requirements, however:
1) At least 250 photos, ideally 300, to make the show.
2) Two comp tickets.
Let me know when you have the photos together. I won’t have time to airbrush any pimples and age spots, but if you leave me at least two weeks, I’ll get you something decent.
Eric
Crystal’s Journal, December 3
Grandma is having her surgery today. Mom said she isn’t worried about it but then she tried to toast a potholder this morning, so I think she’s a little flustered. We probably won’t hear anything until the afternoon (she still hasn’t gone into the operating room yet, apparently), so there’s not much we can do other than wait. I think it’ll go fine, but I kind of wish there was something I could do to help Mom feel better. Right now, she’s knee-deep in confetti, making gift boxes of marshmallows for the farmers’ market, and she seemed to want some space.
I’m in the bedroom with my laptop, and I should be writing. But ever since I received David’s letters, I can’t seem to write anything. I don’t think that I had ever really given up on him, but it’s been a long time, you know? Now that I’m with Mom, I have a new routine, a new life. It’s a lot like my high school life (unfortunately), but things have actually been going pretty well lately, now that I actually have time to myself again.