After a few enquiries, we find the hospice. It is bright and cheerful, but its very existence is heartbreaking to me. The members of staff are friendly and kind, but a little resistant.
“Are you family, because he has only just arrived, and he is quite weak.”
“I’m not family, but I am a very close friend,” I say. “I am sure that he will want to see me.”
“Well, pop your head round the door and see, but please don’t over tire him.”
Carl is pale and tired. How on earth could I have been so self-absorbed not to have noticed before? But he turns towards me and gives me a smile of the purest joy.
“Joanna. How wonderful to see you again!”
“Carl.” I take his hand. I am still smiling. “It’s my turn now.”
I know now that the hopes which I had been harbouring for a future with Carl can only ever be fantasies. I know that I will never again meet a human being as pure and unselfish as him. But I will spend what time is left to us with him, and, afterwards, come what may, I will look at life with a smile on my face, in his memory.
Today’s the day I grew up.
~ ~ ~
Sample or purchase The Tranquillity Project at: