Immediately, inspiration struck. The DataMicroCom satellites were still in orbit. Why couldn’t she deliver succor to the legions of gals worldwide who were sharing this same withdrawal from Beautiful You bliss?
Unselfishly, she toggled and keyboarded until these same amazing sensations were bombarding all the women implanted by Beautiful You products. Penny’s mom in Omaha. Sassy, spunky Monique. Even Brenda—now Yuri’s newlywed bride and the CFO of Allied Chemical Corp. Kwan Qxi and Esperanza, too! Wherever they were, they would all be savoring rich desserts and the heavenly bliss of ripe movie-star smooches.
Impulsively, she filled their far-flung nostrils with mango-scented breezes. Let all her sister women rejoice, Penny told herself. Through her they would achieve solidarity.
While their actual circumstances might be grinding poverty and ignorance, she’d bestow upon them a rich surrogate reality. She’d deliver to their taste buds an unending banquet of gourmet delicacies. An unending repast without a single fattening calorie! She’d replace their mundane thoughts with snippets of inspirational poetry read aloud by the cultured mouth of Meryl Streep.
A few pecks on the right keys, and she’d carpet-bomb them with self-esteem and resolve problematic body-image issues for all time.
She cupped her breasts in her palms and lifted them, examining the nipples with growing awe and wonder. They were astonishing. Her heart, nay, every cell of her swelled in recognition of her own glory and beauty. Following suit, women around the world—tall women, crippled women, fat, old, young and skinny women, they rediscovered themselves. Wherever they were at that moment in their lives—dining at picnics or riding aboard buses or performing intricate brain surgeries—they paused and regarded their bodies with a new, powerful appreciation. Flat-chested, bowlegged, humpbacked, or balding, Penny would force them to recognize their innate beauty. At her satellite-relayed prompting, all women would begin to pet themselves, reveling in the quality of their skin. Penny’s electronic urging would compel them to immediately celebrate their bodies with vigorous self-romancing.
This, this was power. She, Penelope Harrigan, would reign over the world, a benevolent lady dictator, awarding well-deserved pleasure to the multitudes. She’d surpassed the power wielded by even her heroes, Clarissa Hind and Alouette D’Ambrosia. To redeem Max’s wicked technology, she would singlehandedly bring about world peace and order. She’d reward good behavior and punish the bad.
The generations of females trained too long to look for insults and injustice, Penny would pummel them with joy and drive them to accept happiness. A happy ending. With stealthy, subtle manipulation of their pleasure centers, she’d gently bully them into achieving their full erotic potential. Lady political activists might bicker over their strategic goals, platforms, and agendas, but Penny would trump their catfighting by giving them tsunami waves of physical thrills.
An ancient truism had once decreed, “Self-improvement is masturbation.…” At last the inverse would also be true.
“Baba,” she cried out, “rest easy, my guardian! I will not allow the power to overcome me!”
This, Penny whispered to herself, this would be the best time in history to be a woman.
She’d give ladies the ultimate zipless fuck. Erica Jong would be so proud of her. This—sex crafting, practicing carnal magic—would be the new frontier for the next generation of young female searchers.
Acting on a generous impulse, Penny pressed the buttons that would bestow a loving, sisterly, long-distance hug on Gloria Steinem.
That accomplished, she scuttled back toward the cooking fire lest her tasty lizards scorch.
Intoxicated with satisfaction, weak from joy, again she referred to Max’s notebook of codes. Perfect as this moment was—the precious finger lodged deep inside her, the stewed skinks bubbling deliciously, the flames warming her nude, astonishingly beguiling body—even this scene could be improved upon.
With tired, trembling, happy fingers she punched a few more buttons on the controller.
What took place next was only a nanobot-induced hallucination, but Penny could see it, smell it, feel it.
A robust, strapping figure emerged from the snowstorm and stood brazenly unclothed in the cave’s mouth. His dancing blue eyes filled with lust. His impressive, freckled-pink manhood swung heavily between his legs. And a handsome Ron Howard swaggered boldly toward her.
The author would like to acknowledge the following visionaries for their unflagging faith and support of the arts. May the tantric gods visit you with frequent, pulse-pounding, sweat-soaked episodes of full release as you slumber.
Mallory Moss
Katie Dodd
William Klayer
Kasey Bossert
Ian W. Arsenault
Halle Kasper
Megan McCrary
Mandy Boles
Kyle Becker
Adam Stratton
Donald Hugo III
Chuck Crittenden
Peter Wollesen
Stephanie Jean Ray
Nicole Doro
Valeriya Kulchikhina
Meghan Sherar
Angelena Bigham
Zachary Glenn Harbaugh
Andrew G. Gahol
Peter Osborn
Christopher Seevers
Kerstynn Lane
Michael John Silvin
Mandy Marez
Joe Wilson
Wessly Ford
Stephanie Wiley
Patrick D. O’Connor
Henry S. Rosenthal
Brian Manning
Parker Cross
Margaret Dennison
Sharon Leong
Kevin Stevulak
Charlotte O’Neil Golden
Michael Anderson-McGee
Katie McCartney
Jacquelyn Nicole Tawney
Gary Eaton
Mike Parkinson
Dustin Schultz
Gina Chernoby
Michele McDaniel
Ryan O’Neill
George Washington Anderson III
Aysha Martinez
Trev Pierce
John Hardenstine
Bettina Holbrook
Michael Bowhay
Mark V. Paulis
Kevin Sharp
Patricia Scott Petey Wells
Mike Hardin
Thomas Wayne Harvey
Andrew Greenblatt
Elizabeth C. Nichols
Brian Foster
Bryce Haynes
Tatianna Abastoflor
Ronald Green, Jr.
Alisha Ohl
Cody Maasen
Bryan Kraig Ward
Jessica Dugan
Matthew A. Eller
Meredith Alder
Tiffany Joy Atencio
Kyle Adamski
John Michel
Quentin R. Voglund
James Bendos
Gabriel Cesana
Jason W. Bohrer
Shane Gollihue
Scott Trulock
Aaron Blake Flynn
Brett Kerns
Juliet Walker
Kristina Valencia
James P. Giacopelli
Karen Zacconi
Sean K. Smith
Rita Su
Will Tupper
Michael Pedrosa
Russ Robertson
Tag
Samantha Jade Schnee
Rubyann Baybo
Yassaman Tarazkar
Shereen Lombardi
Ashley Blaike Ralph
Mike Dyson
Lorne Sherman
Patti Vanty-McKinley
Shaun Sharma
Christine Strileckis
Chuck Palahniuk is the author of thirteen bestselling novels—Doomed, Damned, Tell-All, Pygmy, Snuff, Rant, Haunted, Diary, Lullaby, Choke, Invisible Monsters, Survivor, and Fight Club—which have sold more than five million copies in the United States. He is also the author of Fugitives and Refugees, published as par
t of the Crown Journey Series, and the nonfiction collection Stranger Than Fiction. He lives in the Pacific Northwest. Visit him on the Web at chuckpalahniuk.net.