To shameful, vulgar places.
Like someone who carefully spreads
Balm on cinders and ashes,
Who hates honor and cherishes 1400
Shame, who mixes sugar
And bile, and honey and fat.
But this time Love was different,
Choosing a highborn home
For which no one could possibly scold her. 1405
And now the dead knight was buried,
And the crowds of his people were gone,
No priests, no knights, no soldiers,
No ladies remained, only
That lady who continued to grieve. 1410
She stayed alone, often
Clutching at her throat, wringing
Her hands, beating her palms,
Reading psalms from a prayerbook
Illumined in letters of gold. 1415
And lord Yvain still stands
At the window, watching her, staring,
And the more he watches the more
He loves her and the more she charms him.
She wept and she read, but he wished 1420
She would give them up, and turn
To him, and give him leave to speak.
Love had caught him at the window
And put this desire in his heart.
But his desire is foolish, and he knows it: 1425
How could he believe, how
Could he trust it to happen? And he says:
“What a fool I am, to want
What I'll never have. Her lord
Is dead of his wounds, and can I 1430
Believe in peace between us?
By God, I understand nothing!
She loathes me, now, and not
For nothing, and not wrongly.
But ‘now’ is the crucial word, 1435
For a woman’s mind has a thousand
Directions. And perhaps that ‘now’
Will change. Oh, surely it will change,
And how stupid of me to stand here
Lost in despair. God grant 1440
That she changes soon! For Love
Has decided to put me forever
In her power, and Love takes what it wants!
Not to accept Love’s wish
When Love comes, and Love asks, is more 1445
Than wicked, it is treachery. And I say,
And whoever worships Love
Let him listen, that a deserter from Love
Deserves no happiness. I may lose,
But I'll always love my enemy. 1450
How could I ever hate her,
If I wish to be loyal to Love?
What Love wants, I want. But she,
Should she accept me as a lover?
She should, for it is she I love. 1455
I call her my enemy: she hates me,
And she has reason to hate me, remembering
How I killed the man she loved.
And I, am I her enemy?
Never, but only her lover, 1460
For who have I loved like this?
I feel pain, seeing her beautiful
Hair, finer than gold,
And gleaming. Pain and anger
Fill me, when she twists and breaks 1465
That hair. I know nothing can dry
The tears falling from her eyes.
And all of it makes me miserable.
Her eyes are forever full
Of tears, tears without end, 1470
And yet no eyes were ever
Lovelier. I weep because
She weeps, but my greatest pain
Is seeing how she wounds her face,
Though it can't deserve it. I've never 1475
Beheld such a perfect face,
So glowing and intense, so vividly
Colored. And how it afflicts me
To see her clutching at her throat!
Surely, she cannot help 1480
Herself, she does the worst
She can. And yet no crystal,
No mirror, is as clear or as smooth.
Lord! Why is she so
Obsessed, why can't she hurt herself 1485
Less? Why wring those beautiful
Hands, and beat and scratch
At her breast? How wonderfully fine
To see her, in some happy mood,
If her beauty shines in such anger! 1490
Oh yes, I can swear to that:
Never before has Nature
So outdone herself in beauty,
For here all boundaries are exceeded.
And how could it possibly have happened? 1495
How could such beauty exist?
Where could such beauty have come from?
God must have made her Himself,
With His own bare hands, to make Nature
Nature could not make another,
She'd only be wasting her time.
God Himself, if He wanted
To try, could not do it again,
No matter how hard He tried, 1505
For it could not be done, not ever.”
And so my lord Yvain
Thought of that lady, tortured
With grief. And when will it happen
Again that a man held 1510
In prison as Yvain was held,
Knowing his life in danger,
Will love so madly that he'll never
Beg for himself, when no one
Else could be begging for him? 1515
He stayed standing at the window
Till he saw the lady leave
And both drawbridges were lowered
Back into place. Some other
Knight might have been miserable, 1520
Preferring freedom, wishing
To remain no longer where he was,
But to him it was all the same
If they shut the gates or opened them.
Indeed, if they left them open 1525
There could be no question of leaving,
Not even were the lady to grant him
Permission to go, gladly
Pardoning him for the death of her lord,
Freeing him in safety. Because 1530
It was Love, and it was Shame, that held him,
Standing to his right and his left.
He was shamed if he went away,
For no one would believe he'd done
What he'd done, and seen what he'd seen. 1535
And then he felt so strong
A desire at least to see
The lady, if nothing more,
That prison meant nothing. He would rather
Die than leave. —And now 1540
The girl returned, wanting
To keep him company, to amuse
And entertain him, and more
Than ready to bring him anything
His heart desired. But love, 1545
Seizing him, left him thoughtful,
Distracted, languid and weak.
And she said: “My lord Yvain!
What sort of day have you had?”
“The sort that pleases me immensely.” 1550
“Pleases you? By God! Are you telling
The truth? What? How
Can you be amused, seeing
Them hunting and intending to kill you?”
“Surely, good friend,” he said, 1555
“I've no interest at all in dying,
And yet, as God is my witness,
I've delighted in everything I've seen,
I'm pleased and will always be pleased.”
“We can leave that subject alone,” 1560
She said, “for I see quite well
What those words are meant to mean.
I'm neither so simple or dull
That I can't understand such talk.
But follow me, for I need 1565
To find some quick and easy
Way to free you from your prison.
Please God, I'll
have you free
Tonight or tomorrow. Come,
I'll show you the way.” And he answered: 1570
“One thing is certain: I'll never
Leave like a thief, I'll never
Sneak away in the dark.
And when all your people are gathered
Out in those streets, I can leave 1575
With far more honor than if
I went by night.” And after
These words they entered her little
Room. And the girl, who knew
What she was doing, was anxious to bring him 1580
Whatever he wanted, freely
Supplying all he needed,
As she'd promised to do. And when
There was time, she turned in her mind
Exactly what he'd said, and how pleased 1585
He had been with everything he saw,
Even as they'd hunted him in the room
And tried to kill him, and longed to.
And this girl stood so high in her lady’s
Favor there was nothing she feared 1590
To say, whatever her words
Might lead to. The lady told her
Everything, and she kept things to herself.
Then why be afraid to offer
Her mistress consolation, and advice 1595
That would bring her honor? The first time
The two were alone she said:
“Lady! I find myself
Astonished at this wildness and violence.
My lady! Do you think this sort 1600
Of sorrow will bring back your lord?”
Be dead of my grief.” “And why?”
“To go where he has gone.”
“Follow him? May God protect you 1605
And find you another lord
As good, as He can do.”
“You've never spoken so huge
A lie, there is no one as good.”
“There are better, and if you would accept him 1610
I'd bring him here, in proof.”
“Leave me! Be quiet! I will never
Find one.” “My lady, you will,
If you'll only permit it. Tell me,
If you please, who will defend 1615
Your lands when King Arthur comes,
And he comes in another week,
Seeking the stone and the fountain?
Our Lady Sauvage has long since
Sent word of his coming, sent a letter 1620
With that news. Ah! How truly
She has sought to help you! What you need
To be planning is how to defend
Your fountain, and with whose help,
And all you can do is weep! 1625
My lady, dear lady, delay
No longer. I beg you! None
Of your knights is worth as much
As a single chambermaid, none of them,
And you know it, lady. The best 1630
Of your knights can barely lift
A shield or pick up a spear.
You have plenty of weak-kneed men,
But none of them have the courage
To mount a war-horse and sit tall. 1635
And the king is coming with so huge
An army that nothing will stop him.”
The lady knew very well
That this was honest advice,
But she had her foolish side, 1640
Like almost every woman
Alive, totally blind
To her madness, excusing herself
As she pushed away what she really
Wanted. “Leave me!” she cried, 1645
“Not another word! And run
For your life if you speak like this
Again! You talk too much,
You tire me.” “Surely, my lady!
How easy to see you're a woman, 1650
For women grow angry when anyone
Gives them good advice.”
She left, and the lady was alone,
And when she'd thought a bit more
She knew she'd been very wrong. 1655
And all her desire was to know
How the girl could have proven
That a better knight could be found
Than her lord had ever been.
And she wished she could hear her explain, 1660
But she'd forbidden the girl to speak.
So, longing to hear, she waited
For the girl to return. But nothing
She'd said had made any difference:
The girl began at once: 1665
“Oh, my lady! Is it fitting
To kill yourself with grief?
By God! Get control of yourself,
Stop it, if only for shame.
No highborn lady ought 1670
To keep up her mourning so long.
Remember your honor, think
Of your high and noble birth.
Do you think that all the honor
On earth died with your lord? 1675
A hundred as good, or better,
Have been left in this world.” “May the good Lord
Destroy me, but you lie in your teeth!
How could you show me a single
Man with a name as noble 1680
As my lord enjoyed all his life?”
“You wouldn't be grateful, if I did,
I know you wouldn't. You'd fly
In a fury, there'd be insults, there'd be threats.”
“Not at all, I assure you I won't.” 1685
“How good it would be, how lucky,
My lady, for you and your future,
If you let it please you—and may God
Give you the will to be pleased!
And why should I hold my tongue? 1690
No one listens to the likes
Of us. You'll think me presumptuous,
But I'll tell you exactly what I think.
When a pair of knights have come
Together in battle, and one 1695
Has beaten the other, who seems
To you most worthy? Me,
I give the prize to the victor.
And how does it seem to you?”
“I think you're trying to trick me, 1700
Trying to trap me with my words.”
“Good lord! Well, you
Can be sure I'm right, I know
What I'm saying. I can prove it, too.
The knight who defeated your lord 1705
Was better than he was. He beat him,
And then he chased him bravely
Here to his home, and then
He locked him up in his house.”
“Oh now,” she answered, “I hear 1710
The worst nonsense in the world.
Enough! You've a wicked heart.
Enough! You're a stupid, tiresome
Girl. Enough of your silliness!
Never come in my presence 1715
With praise for that man. Enough!”
“Indeed, my lady! As I told you,
I knew you'd be ungrateful.
I told you I knew. But you gave me
Your word, you promised, that if 1720
I spoke you'd listen and not
Be angry. You haven't kept
Your promise, you gave me your word
And you broke it. I spoke because
You wished it, you asked me to speak, 1725
But you're angry, and I've lost by my words.”
And then she returned to the room
Where she kept my lord Yvain
Resting and waiting in great comfort,
But nothing pleased him, when he heard 1730
He could not see the lady,
And though she repeated her quarrel
With her mistress, he paid no attention.
And the lady, too, lay awake
All night, at war with herself, 1735
Terribly worried how
&nb
sp; To protect her wonderful spring,
And beginning to regret how she'd scolded
And insulted her servant, and shown her
Such violent contempt, for she was sure, 1740
Completely certain, that it was not
For a bribe or any reward,
Nor because she loved him, that the girl
Had begun to speak of her husband’s
Killer; she knew she loved her 1745
Better than him, and her advice
Intended no shame and no harm:
The girl was too loyal a friend.
And like that! the lady suddenly
Changed toward the girl she'd abused, 1750
Worried, now, that she'd never
Ever love her again.
And he whom she'd pushed away
She calmly excused, convinced
By reason and by argument that nothing 1755
He'd done had injured her.
And so she debated with herself,
As if he were standing in front of her.
And these were the words of her argument:
“Now,” she said, “could you possibly 1760
Deny that you killed my lord?”
“That,” he replied, “I could never
Say. I admit it.” “Then tell me,
Did you do it because you hate me,
To hurt me, to make me miserable?” 1765
“May death take me here
And now if I ever meant you
Harm.” “Then you've done me no wrong,
And you've done no wrong to him:
He'd have killed you, if he could. 1770
And thus it seems to me
I've judged correctly, and well.”
And so, by this same proof,
She found reason and right and wisdom,
And no need for her to hate him, 1775
Ensuring herself what she wanted
And all the time igniting
Herself, like smoking wood,
Bursting into flame when it’s stirred,
Smouldering if no one blows it 1780
Awake. If the girl had come to her
Now, she'd have won the argument
She'd tried so hard to win
And been so insulted for beginning.
And in the morning she came 1785
And began it all over again,
Starting where she'd stopped before.
And it made the lady lower
Her head, for she knew she'd done wrong
To be angry and insult her as she'd done. 1790
And now she wanted to make
Amends, and asked the knight’s name,
And his birth, and what he was like,
And wisely humbling herself.
And she said: “I beg your pardon 1795
For my offensive words, and my swollen
Pride, speaking to you
Like a fool. I will follow your advice.
But tell me, if you know, what sort
Of man is this knight of whom 1800
You've told me so much, arguing
His cause, and what was his birth?
And if he’s worthy of me,