Table of Contents
COPYRIGHT INFO
A NOTE FROM THE PUBLISHER
THE MEGAPACK SERIES
SURREAL ESTATE, by Nina Kiriki Hoffman
BIRTHMARK, by Seabury Quinn
THE MONKEY’S PAW, by W.W. Jacobs
FUGUES, by Chelsea Quinn Yarbro
DEAD BABIES, by Lawrence Watt-Evans
THE MUFFIN MAN, by Mike Brines
THE SILENT MAJORITY, by Stephen Woodworth
THE TOMB, by H.P. Lovecraft
GONE, by Nina Kiriki Hoffman
THE MEAT FOREST, by John Haggerty
ETERNITY AND THE DEVIL, by Larry Hodges
MISS FAVERSHAM’S ROOM, by Chelsea Quinn Yarbro
THE DAMNED THING, by Ambrose Bierce
THE SHADOWS OF THE DEAD, by Louis Becke
BONESY, by Larry Hodges
VENGEANCE IN HER BONES, by Malcolm Jamieson
LITTLE PIECES, by Matt Piskun
THE MAN WHO LIVED by Raymond F. O’Kelley
THE FOND NIGHTMARE, by Colin Azariah-Kribbs
THE RESIDENCE AT WHITMINSTER, by M.R. James
LOST PROPERTY, by David Anderson
THE BLISSFUL HOUSE ON BLYSWORTH STREET, by Skadi meic Beorh
THE BONE FLUTE, by M.E. Brines
A FAULT AGAINST THE DEAD, by Nina Kiriki Hoffman
BUCK, GLORY RAE, & THE THREE LITTLE PIGS, by John Gregory Betancourt
THE HAUNTING OF DORIC LODGE, by James C. Stewart
LUGAR DE LA PAZ, by B.N. Clark
THE HOUSE AND THE BRAIN, by Lord Edward Bulwer-Lytton
WHITE BEAUTY, by Cynthia Ward
FEAR, by Guy de Maupassant
GENIUS LOCI, by Chelsea Quinn Yarbro
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
The Haunts & Horrors Megapack
Version 1.0.0
COPYRIGHT INFO
The Haunts and Horrors Megapack is copyright © 2013 by Wildside Press LLC. Cover art copyright © Andrey Kiselev / Fotolia.
* * * *
“Surreal Estate,” by Nina Kiriki Hoffman, originally appeared in Pulphouse #12, Fall 1993. Copyright © 1993 by Nina Kiriki Hoffman. Reprinted by permission of the author.
“Birthmark,” by Seabury Quinn, originally appeared in Weird Tales, September-October 1941.
“Fugues,” by Chelsea Quinn Yarbro, originally appeared in Apprehensions and Other Delusions. Copyright © 2004 by Chelsea Quinn Yarbro. Reprinted by permission of the author.
“Dead Babies,” by Lawrence Watt-Evans, originally appeared in South from Midnight. Copyright © 1994 by Lawrence Watt-Evans. Reprinted by permission of the author.
“The Muffin Man,” by Mike Brines, originally appeared in Tales of the Talisman, December 2010. Copyright © 2010 by Mike Brines. Reprinted by permission of the author.
“The Silent Majority,” by Stephen Woodworth, originally appeared in The Dead That Walk: Flesh-Eating Stories (2009). Copyright © 2009 by Stephen Woodworth. Reprinted by permission of the author.
“The Tomb,” by H.P. Lovecraft, originally appeared in The Vagrant, March 1922.
“Gone,” by Nina Kiriki Hoffman, originally appeared in Lighthouse Haunting. Copyright © 2002 by Nina Kiriki Hoffman. Reprinted by permission of the author.
“The Meat Forest,” by John Haggerty, originally appeared in Shock Totem #3. Copyright © 2011 by John Haggerty. Reprinted by permission of the author.
“Eternity and the Devil,” by Larry Hodges, originally appeared in the Dark Portals anthology. Copyright © 2009 by Larry Hodges. Reprinted by permission of the author.
“The Shadows of the Dead,” by Louis Becke originally appeared in 1897.
“Bonesy,” by Larry Hodges, originally appeared in New Myths, December 2009. Copyright © 2009 by Larry Hodges. Reprinted by permission of the author.
“Vengeance in Her Bones,” by Malcolm Jamieson, originally appeared in Weird Tales, May 1942.
“Little Pieces,” by Matt Piskun, originally appeared in Necrotic Tissue, October 2010. Copyright © 2010 by Matt Piskun. Reprinted by permission of the author.
“The Man Who Lived,” by Raymond F. O’Kelley, originally appeared in Weird Tales, September 1941.
“The Fond Nightmare,” by Colin Azariah-Kribbs, originally appeared in November/December 2008 issue of The Willows.
“Lost Property,” by David Anderson is copyright © 2013 by David Anderson. Published by permission of the author.
“The Bone Flute,” by M.E. Brines, originally appeared in The Outer Darkness, Summer 2010 issue.
“The Blissful House on Blysworth Street,” by Skadi meic Beorh, originally appeared in Twisted Tongue, February 2007. Copyright © 2007 by Skadi meic Beorh. Reprinted by permission of the author.
“Buck, Glory Rae, & The Three Little Pigs,” by John Gregory Betancourt, originally appeared in Weird Tales, Spring 1993 issue. Copyright © 1993 by John Gregory Betancourt. Reprinted by permission of the author.
“White Beauty,” by Cynthia Ward, originally appeared in Horrors: 365 Scary Stories. Copyright ©1998 by Cynthia Ward. Reprinted by permission of the author.
“Genius Loci,” by Chelsea Quinn Yarbro, originally appeared in Better Off Undead. Copyright © 2008 by Chelsea Quinn Yarbro. Reprinted by permission of the author.
A NOTE FROM THE PUBLISHER
The Haunts & Horrors Megapack is a bit of a grab-bag: something for every horror fan, from contemporary to classic ghost stories. As always, when there’s a bit of overlap with other volumes in the Megapack series, we try to include a few extra tales, so there are 31 in this volume instead of the usual 25. (We had trouble limiting our selections to “just” 25!)
If you like a particular author’s work, I urge you to sample some of their other titles, many of which are available from Wildside Press. Find them in your favorite online book or ebook store!
—John Betancourt
Publisher, Wildside Press LLC
www.wildsidepress.com
ABOUT THE MEGAPACK SERIES
Over the few years, our “Megapack” series of ebook anthologies has proved to be one of our most popular endeavors. (Maybe it helps that we sometimes offer them as premiums to our email mailing list!) One question we keep getting asked is, “Who’s the editor?”
The Megapacks (except where specifically credited) are a group effort. Everyone at Wildside works on them. This includes John Betancourt, Robert Reginald, Sam Cooper, Carla Coupe, Steve Coupe, Bonner Menking, A.E. Warren, and many of Wildside’s authors…who often suggest stories to include (and not just their own!).
A NOTE FOR KINDLE READERS
The Kindle versions of our Megapacks employ active tables of contents for easy navigation…please look for one before writing reviews on Amazon that complain about the lack! (They are sometimes at the ends of ebooks, depending on your reader.)
RECOMMEND A FAVORITE STORY?
Do you know a great classic science fiction story, or have a favorite author whom you believe is perfect for the Megapack series? We’d love your suggestions! You can post them on our message board at http://movies.ning.com/forum (there is an area for Wildside Press comments).
Note: we only consider stories that have already been professionally published. This is not a market for new works.
TYPOS
Unfortunately, as hard as we tr
y, a few typos do slip through. We update our ebooks periodically, so make sure you have the current version (or download a fresh copy if it’s been sitting in your ebook reader for months.) It may have already been updated.
If you spot a new typo, please let us know. We’ll fix it for everyone. You can email the publisher at wildsidepress@yahoo.com or use the message boards above.
THE MEGAPACK SERIES
MYSTERY
The Achmed Abdullah Megapack
The Charlie Chan Megapack
The Craig Kennedy Scientific Detective Megapack
The Detective Megapack
The Father Brown Megapack
The Girl Detectives Megapack
The Jacques Futrelle Megapack
The Anna Katharine Green Mystery Megapack
The First Mystery Megapack
The Penny Parker Megapack
The Pulp Fiction Megapack
The Raffles Megapack
The Victorian Mystery Megapack
The Wilkie Collins Megapack
GENERAL INTEREST
The Adventure Megapack
The Baseball Megapack
The Cat Story Megapack
The Second Cat Story Megapack
The Christmas Megapack
The Second Christmas Megapack
The Classic American Short Stories Megapack, Vol. 1.
The Classic Humor Megapack
The Dog Story Megapack
The Doll Story Megapack
The Horse Story Megapack
The Military Megapack
SCIENCE FICTION & FANTASY
The Edward Bellamy Megapack
The First Reginald Bretnor Megapack
The Ray Cummings Megapack
The Philip K. Dick Megapack
The Randall Garrett Megapack
The Second Randall Garrett Megapack
The Murray Leinster Megapack
The Second Murray Leinster Megapack
The Martian Megapack
The Andre Norton Megapack
The H. Beam Piper Megapack
The Mack Reynolds Megapack
The Science-Fantasy Megapack
The First Science Fiction Megapack
The Second Science Fiction Megapack
The Third Science Fiction Megapack
The Fourth Science Fiction Megapack
The Fifth Science Fiction Megapack
The Sixth Science Fiction Megapack
The Seventh Science Fiction Megapack
The Robert Sheckley Megapack
The Steampunk Megapack
The Time Travel Megapack
The Wizard of Oz Megapack
HORROR
The Achmed Abdullah Megapack
The E.F. Benson Megapack
The Second E.F. Benson Megapack
The Cthulhu Mythos Megapack
The Erckmann-Chatrian Megapack
The Ghost Story Megapack
The Second Ghost Story Megapack
The Third Ghost Story Megapack
The Horror Megapack
The M.R. James Megapack
The Macabre Megapack
The Second Macabre Megapack
The Mummy Megapack
The Vampire Megapack
The Werewolf Megapack
WESTERNS
The B.M. Bower Megapack
The Max Brand Megapack
The Buffalo Bill Megapack
The Cowboy Megapack
The Zane Grey Megapack
The Western Megapack
The Second Western Megapack
The Wizard of Oz Megapack
YOUNG ADULT
The Boys’ Adventure Megapack
The Dan Carter, Cub Scout Megapack
The Doll Story Megapack
The G.A. Henty Megapack
The Girl Detectives Megapack
The Penny Parker Megapack
The Pinocchio Megapack
The Rover Boys Megapack
The Tom Corbett, Space Cadet Megapack
The Tom Swift Megapack
AUTHOR MEGAPACKS
The Achmed Abdullah Megapack
The Edward Bellamy Megapack
The B.M. Bower Megapack
The E.F. Benson Megapack
The Second E.F. Benson Megapack
The Max Brand Megapack
The First Reginald Bretnor Megapack
The Wilkie Collins Megapack
The Ray Cummings Megapack
The Guy de Maupassant Megapack
The Philip K. Dick Megapack
The Erckmann-Chatrian Megapack
The Jacques Futrelle Megapack
The Randall Garrett Megapack
The Second Randall Garrett Megapack
The Anna Katharine Green Megapack
The Zane Grey Megapack
The Dashiell Hammett Megapack
The M.R. James Megapack
The Selma Lagerlof Megapack
The Murray Leinster Megapack
The Second Murray Leinster Megapack
The George Barr McCutcheon Megapack
The Talbot Mundy Megapack
The Andre Norton Megapack
The H. Beam Piper Megapack
The Mack Reynolds Megapack
The Rafael Sabatini Megapack
The Saki Megapack
The Robert Sheckley Megapack
OTHER COLLECTIONS YOU MAY ENJOY
The Great Book of Wonder, by Lord Dunsany (it should have been called “The Lord Dunsany Megapack”)
The Wildside Book of Fantasy
The Wildside Book of Science Fiction
Yondering: The First Borgo Press Book of Science Fiction Stories
To the Stars—And Beyond! The Second Borgo Press Book of Science Fiction Stories
Once Upon a Future: The Third Borgo Press Book of Science Fiction Stories
Whodunit?—The First Borgo Press Book of Crime and Mystery Stories
More Whodunits—The Second Borgo Press Book of Crime and Mystery Stories
X is for Xmas: Christmas Mysteries
SURREAL ESTATE, by Nina Kiriki Hoffman
Wendy Renault was almost forty, and she had been living in apartments ever since she moved away from her parents at age nineteen. With her husband’s life insurance money, she finally had a chance to buy a dream.
Her dream home. A place where she could build her dream life, with her dream companion.
But real-life details kept getting in the way.
“Okay,” said the whole house inspector, kneeling beside the house. He chewed tobacco with his mouth open, and squinted up at her. Late afternoon sun shimmered in the beaded perspiration on his forehead. “This ain’t a big thing, but you’re gonna wanta put some caulking in around that hole drilled through the siding. Don’t give pests any avenue into your structure here.”
Wendy scribbled on her steno pad, under the notes she had made about the v-shaped cracks in the foundation, the standing water under the house, and the untempered glass in the window next to the front door. She scratched at the sunburn she’d gotten the day before while strolling around the neighborhood to see if she might like living here, even though she and Malcolm had already pretty much fixed on this house. After closing her eyes for a second, she glanced anxiously at the siding. Inside she was wearing a big frown, though her face smiled. How many more pinholes could this guy punch in her dream? All the helium was escaping.
“See where the mulch is mounded up here above the foundation line? An open invitation to pests,” said the inspector. He spat, spraying nicotine on a weed. “You had the termite guys in here yet?”
She shook her head, dreading it.
“Tell ’em to check over here. Now, I’m not an expert on that stuff, I don’t check for it. You might have your dampwood termites or worse, your subterranean termites, or your fungi, carpenter ants, wood-boring beetles…house could be riddled.”
She wished he wouldn’t characterize all these pests as hers.
“Another thing,” he said, dusting off the knees of his pants as he rose.
Wendy groaned inside. Then she wondered what these groans would do, bouncing around inside her with no outlet. Build up ricochet momentum and punch a hole in her?
“You got your ghost turds. Mostly inside.” He patted the wall.
“What on earth is a ghost turd?”
“Evidence,” he said. “Eck-toe-plas-mick evidence.”
“What?” asked Wendy, slightly panicked, keeping that inside too.
“They’re hard to examine, being kinda slippery,” he said. “I did not discover if they was fresh or if the old lady is not much of a housekeeper and they’ve been around a while. But you got your ghost turds in a couple corners. Now I have not hit on a surefire method for exterminating ghosts. If there’s much trouble, though, you give me a call. I got a couple guys I can refer you to.”
“Trouble?” said Wendy. She licked her upper lip.
“Now some ghosts will respect your privacy and only haunt and such when you’re out of the house, but others will make a nuisance of themselves, and you don’t want that. Let me know how it goes. Here’s my card. Call me if you have any questions.”
“But—” she said.
He smiled, spat some more juice, and nailed a dandelion. “I’ll get that report to you by Friday, barring accidents. You want any of this work done, I can recommend independent contractors to you. Only if you want me to.”
“Thanks,” she said, still smiling, and shook hands with him. She didn’t wipe her hand off on her jeans until he had driven away in his truck.
Malcolm was waiting in the hotel room for her, since she had left the locket there. It was so much easier for her to deal with real-life situations without him there to distract her that she had done it deliberately.
She could tell he was going to kvetch. She sighed.
He changed his mind. “So what happened?”
“Fifteen more things wrong. Look at this list. You really, really want that place?”
He looked surprised. “I thought you did.”
“Yesterday I did,” she said, “enough to overlook that red plaid rug and those terrible fifties light fixtures. But today…what with the foundation cracks and the standing water and the pest super-highways.…”
Malcolm flickered a little, the way he did when he was feeling uncertain. “Wendy, the psychic climate in the house.…”
“Oh, yeah. That’s another thing. He says there’s a ghost there already.”