Fourth, WHEN IN THE HELL WAS IT DECIDED THAT WE ARE SPENDING NEW YEAR’S EVE TOGETHER??? I had actually wanted to plan a girls’ night with all of you.
Fifth, WHEN IN THE HELL DID I BECOME HIS “GIRLFRIEND”? I just got OUT of a relationship, an ENGAGEMENT might I add!!!! Hello???? I don’t want to be ANYONE’S girlfriend for a while. Granted, I’d love to casually date Marty, but I’m NO ONE’S girlfriend, period.
And, sixth and most important, “LOVE”??????????????????????????????????????????
What’s going on here???
—Izzy
P.S. And, I’m STILL very bothered by the whole Anna thing. No, (I know what you’re going to ask) I didn’t address it over coffee. I tried. But, it’s half my own damn fault, because I’m the fool who set them up. So, I should really be blaming my own damn self!
Sent:
Monday, December 1, 2008 at 9:25 AM
From:
Elizabeth
To:
Izabell, Annette, Brooke
Subject:
Re: WTF
Well, it’s obvious. He thinks you are in a very serious, monogamous, exclusive relationship—with him, in fact.
And, you do not.
Sent:
Monday, December 1, 2008 at 9:31 AM
From:
Facebook
To:
Martin
Subject:
Relationship Status
Hi Martin,
You have changed your relationship status from “Single” to “In a Relationship.”
Thanks,
The Facebook Team
Sent:
Monday, December 1, 2008 at 10:02 AM
From:
Izabell
To:
Elizabeth, Annette, Brooke
Subject:
Re: WTF
I’ve decided to send Marty an e-mail explaining exactly where we’re at in order to clarify any further misunderstandings. He has just “officially” changed his Facebook relationship status to “In a Relationship.” Does he mean with ME????
Sent:
Monday, December 1, 2008 at 10:04 AM
From:
Elizabeth
To:
Izabell, Annette, Brooke
Subject:
Re: WTF
Rhetorical.
Sent:
Monday, December 1, 2008 at 10:08 AM
From:
Elizabeth
To:
Izabell, Annette, Brooke
Subject:
Re: WTF
Marty just asked me to be his friend on Facebook, FYI.
Sent:
Monday, December 1, 2008 at 10:11 AM
From:
Annette
To:
Izabell, Elizabeth, Brooke
Subject:
Re: WTF
He asked me too.
Sent:
Monday, December 1, 2008 at 10:12 AM
From:
Brooke
To:
Izabell, Elizabeth, Annette
Subject:
Re: WTF
Yep, me three.
Draft:
Tuesday, December 2, 2008 at 9:09 AM
From:
Izabell
To:
Marty
Subject:
Clarification
This e-mail was written but not sent and will save as Draft until further action.
Marty,
Izzy here. Listen, I’m going to explain to you in no uncertain terms why your most recent e-mail (and the fact that you befriended all of my friends on Facebook) totally freaks me out.
I just broke off my engagement.
In case you didn’t understand, I’ll spell it out for you:
I JUST BROKE OFF MY ENGAGEMENT.
I JUST BROKE OFF MY ENGAGEMENT.
—Izzy
Sent:
Tuesday, December 2, 2008 at 10:12 AM
From:
Izabell
To:
Marty
Subject:
Dinner
Hey There Marty,
Got your e-mail and VM last night. Sorry I didn’t e-mail/call back—it was too late. Anyway, dinner sounds cool. I’ll meet you there, OK? See you then.
—Izzy
Sent:
Tuesday, December 2, 2008 at 10:14 AM
From:
Marty
To:
Izabell
Re: Dinner
Sounds great, my love.
I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU!!!!!!!
Sent:
Tuesday, December 2, 2008 at 10:17 AM
From:
Izabell
To:
Annette, Elizabeth, Brooke
Subject:
Dear God
See below. Ugh. No need to bold or enlarge the relevant portions—he did that himself.
----------Forwarded message----------
Sent:
Tuesday, December 2, 2008 at 10:14 AM
From:
Marty
To:
Izabell
Subject:
Re: Dinner
Sounds great, my love.
I CAN’T
*****Message truncated due to size*****
Sent:
Tuesday, December 2, 2008 at 10:34 AM
From:
Elizabeth
To:
Izabell, Annette, Brooke
Subject:
Re: Dear God
Didn’t you send him a clarifying e-mail?????
Sent:
Wednesday, December 3, 2008 at 9:09 AM
From:
Izabell
To:
Elizabeth
Subject:
Why?
I miss Peter. I miss him so much that the thought of actually driving my car into a tree solely to get his attention seems like a pseudo-good idea. (I’m kidding, but the thought actually came to me while driving to doggy day care the other day.) And, why am I taking antidepressants for the first time in my entire life? (Do NOT tell a soul, please, you’re the only one who knows.)
Sigh. Maybe I should talk to him.
Sent:
Wednesday, December 3, 2008 at 9:39 AM
From:
Elizabeth
To:
Izabell
Subject:
Re: Why?
Bad idea.
Sent:
Wednesday, December 3, 2008 at 9:42 AM
From:
Izabell
To:
Peter
Subject:
Dinner
Hey,
Just wanted to see how you’re doing. I assume you’re still working really long hours at the office? Anyway, my movers come in two weeks, on the 19th. I’m going to stay at Elizabeth’s until then. Just wanted to give you a heads-up. Would you be up for dinner sometime this week? I thought maybe we could talk.
—Izzy
Sent:
Wednesday, December 3, 2008 at 10:29 AM
From:
Peter
To:
Izabell
Subject:
Re: Dinner
Hanging in there as best I can. Yes to dinner.
Sent:
Wednesday, December 3, 2008 at 10:34 AM
From:
Izabell
To:
Peter
Subject:
Re: Dinner
OK. How about tomorrow at 9 PM?
Sent:
Wednesday, December 3, 2008 at 10:54 AM
From:
Peter
To:
Izabell
Subject:
Re: Dinner
Yes, that works.
Sent:
Wednesday, December 3, 2008 at 11:59 AM
From:
Marty
To:
Izabell
Subject:
&
nbsp; Tonight!!!!!!!
I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU TONIGHT!!!!!!!
SMS From: Elizabeth (Mobile) December 4, 2008 11:12 AM
How did dinner with Marty go?
Sent:
Thursday, December 4, 2008 at 5:16 PM
From:
Rose
To:
Peter
Subject:
Depo Prep
Peter,
I need you to assist John and me with deposition prep tonight. Please order our dinner from the carryout Thai place we used last time. Charge it to the client, of course. Make sure you’re prepared to discuss Drugs M–Z and all related factors. Create charts, goes without saying.
—Rose
Draft:
Thursday, December 4, 2008 at 5:19 PM
From:
Peter
To:
Rose
Subject:
Re: Depo Prep
This e-mail was written but not sent and will save as Draft until further action.
Rose,
I have plans that are unbreakable for tonight. I am sorry.
—Peter
Sent:
Thursday, December 4, 2008 at 5:26 PM
From:
Peter
To:
Rose
Subject:
Re: Depo Prep
Rose,
Is it okay if I grab a quick dinner with my fiancée tonight at 9 PM? I had plans with her, and I promised that I wouldn’t break them. I’ll make sure that I’m back by 9:45 at the latest.
Best,
Peter
Sent:
Thursday, December 4, 2008 at 5:29 PM
From:
Rose
To:
Peter
Subject:
Re: Depo Prep
No, we have too much work to do. If you have time for dinner with your fiancée, then you don’t have time for this case. I haven’t seen my family in months either. Meet me in the conference room in ten minutes with notebook and pen in hand.
—Rose
Sent:
Thursday, December 4, 2008 at 6:07 PM
From:
Peter
To:
Izabell
Subject:
Dinner
Can we reschedule for tomorrow night? Something important came up at work. I can’t get out of it. Please? Please?
Draft:
Thursday, December 4, 2008 at 6:10 PM
From:
Izabell
To:
Peter
Subject:
Re: Dinner
This e-mail was written but not sent and will save as Draft until further action.
God, Peter, you break my heart every time. No, we can’t reschedule.
Sent:
Thursday, December 4, 2008 at 6:17 PM
From:
Izabell
To:
Peter
Subject:
Re: Dinner
God, Peter, you fucking break my fucking heart every fucking time. Fuck you.
Retrieved:
Thursday, December 4, 2008 at 6:17 PM
From:
Izabell
To:
Peter
Subject:
Re: Dinner
This message was retrieved from your Sent Folder at 6:17 PM on December 4, 2008.
God, Peter, you fucking break my fucking heart every fucking time. Fuck you.
Sent:
Thursday, December 4, 2008 at 6:18 PM
From:
Izabell
To:
Peter
Subject:
Re: Dinner
Sent:
Thursday, December 4, 2008 at 6:19 PM
From:
Izabell
To:
Elizabeth
Subject:
“Retrieve?”
Holy s—t, almost sent Peter a really ugly e-mail that I managed to “retrieve” from my Sent Folder. Have you ever used that button before????? It’s a God-save. I think it actually worked.
Sent:
Thursday, December 4, 2008 at 6:23 PM
From:
Elizabeth
To:
Izabell
Subject:
Re: “Retrieve?”
Read about retrieve. Apparently, it still sends the e-mail, but it’s left blank.
Sent:
Thursday, December 4, 2008 at 6:26 PM
From:
Peter
To:
Izabell
Subject:
Re: Dinner
Did you send me an e-mail with nothing in it?
Sent:
Thursday, December 4, 2008 at 6:29 PM
From:
Izabell
To:
Peter
Subject:
Re: Dinner
Sorry. It meant to say: forget about dinner.
Sent:
Thursday, December 4, 2008 at 7:02 PM
From:
Peter
To:
Izabell
Subject:
Re: Dinner
I’m sorry.
Sent:
Thursday, December 4, 2008 at 7:08 PM
From:
Peter
To:
Jenny
Subject:
Talk
Hey Jenny,
I enjoyed our talk the other day. It’s been way too long. I was thinking of visiting my sister in Boston after the hearing in two weeks. Maybe we could have dinner when I’m in town?
Best,
Peter
Sent:
Thursday, December 4, 2008 at 7:35 PM
From:
Facebook
To:
Peter
Subject:
Jenny wrote on your Wall …
Jenny Reder wrote on your Wall:
“I’m so glad we got back in touch. TTYS. XOXO. .”
To see the comment thread, follow the link below: http://facebook.com/?profilid&ed=249384=feed&story=e942nidiv34
Thanks,
The Facebook Team
Sent:
Thursday, December 4, 2008 at 8:19 PM
From:
Marty
To:
Mom
Subject:
The One
Mom,
Did you get those two pictures I sent you of Izabell? Isn’t she incredible? I was thinking that I’d invite her to meet the fam after New Year’s. I can’t wait for you and Dad to meet her. She is The One. Not a doubt in my mind. So glad I took your advice.
—Marty
Sent:
Thursday, December 4, 2008 at 9:19 PM
From:
Marty
To:
Izabell
Subject:
About Last Night …
I just wanted to let you know, sweetheart, that I thoroughly enjoyed dinner with you last night. I’m sorry you had to leave the restaurant right after the meal. Really wish you had taken me up on my offer for a movie and cuddling on the couch. Tonight? Tomorrow? Forever? ;-)
Sent:
Thursday, December 4, 2008 at 9:22 PM
From:
Marty
To:
Izabell
Subject:
Mom
Oh, almost forgot, I had the nicest conversation about you with my Mom the other day. She can’t wait to meet you.
Draft:
Thursday, December 4, 2008 at 10:11 PM
From:
Izabell
To:
Marty
Subject:
Kinda-Dating
This e-mail was written but not sent and will save as Draft until further action.
Marty,
I don’t know how else to say this. You and I are in very different places. You want a serious relationship. I don’t. While that is not an impossibility—some date far into the futur
e—far far far into the future—so far into the future that it would have to be a time when I’ve finally gotten over Peter, with whom I’m still very much in love even though he doesn’t come close to deserving me (there, I said it)—then maybe we can talk “serious.”
Please don’t take this to mean that I don’t like you. I like you a lot. But, no matter how much I like you, I’m not going to jump back into the deep end with you right after jumping out of it with someone else. Does this make sense?
Please don’t hate me. I’d like to keep seeing you. I’d like to get to know you.
Izzy
Sent:
Friday, December 5, 2008 at 10:12 AM
From:
Izabell
To:
Marty
Subject:
Really?
Oh. Wow. OK. What did you and your Mom talk about specifically?