Pause.
TERESA
Have you seen his—
DEE
Yes.
Pause. They giggle.
TERESA
Oh my God. No wonder you look different.
DEE
What?
TERESA
When girls do things… they look different. Like they know things.
Pause.
Have you… put your mouth on it?
DEE
You mean head?
TERESA
Jeez! Yes. Head.
Pause.
DEE
Yes.
TERESA
Oh my God. I'm a loser. How can you…?
DEE
What?
TERESA
I don't know. Don't you feel like a hooker or something, doing that? It's like you're serving him.
DEE
It's not like that.
Pause.
When I do that… it's like everything I do is controlling him.
TERESA
Do you think you're going to do it? I mean… all the way?
The lights change. CHRIS sits in the back seat of the car. DEE begins to cross the stage towards him, slowly undressing.
DEE
I don't know.
TERESA
Do you worry… you know… about losing your virginity and not being married?
CHRIS
You look beautiful.
DEE
Sometimes I think that. But when you're with someone… sometimes you can't think about those things. Your body begins to talk to you. It says:
CHRIS
Please. Just once.
DEE
No. No.
CHRIS
This feels so good, right here.
He kisses her gently, slowly.
DEE
We can't. I don't have a—
CHRIS
We could go get one.
DEE
But if we have one then we'll—
CHRIS
Just once. I'll put it in and I'll pull it out. I promise.
DEE
We can't.
CHRIS
I just want to feel you.
DEE
You're feeling me now.
CHRIS
I want to be inside you.
DEE
Inside.
CHRIS
Inside you.
DEE
Oh God…
CHRIS
I just want to…
DEE
Yes—
CHRIS has fully penetrated before DEE can pronounce the "s" in "yes." They both moan in delight.
CHRIS stops. Lights change.
CHRIS
There was a nurse in the first porn I ever watched. It was about this hospital that was losing money because there weren't enough patients. So these slutty nurses would give shots then give the guys a blow job. Or ask the guy to turn his head and cough, then stick it up her ass. And I remember these two guys doing this one nurse, telling her how bad a girl she was. But they're in her. One in the mouth, one in her pussy. And I can't see her face. Even when they change positions and one is up her ass, one in her pussy, and she's bouncing on top of both of them I can't see her. Her blond hair is all over her face and tits. She's just this thing with two holes, taking it and loving it.
Here, in the car, Dee looks at me. She's so beautiful. Like she's dreaming with her eyes open. She looks at me while I'm coming. Love. That's when I feel my cock go soft. I shouldn't have done this to her. She's not that girl. I can see her. All of her. This thing with two holes has two eyes. And they're looking right at me.
Lights up on CHRIS, putting on his pants in the back seat of the car.
Are you okay? Listen…
CHRIS
This was stupid.
DEE
I was stupid.
CHRIS
I mean… not doing it. Just doing it without something. You know?
CHRIS takes off his shirt and cleans the windows of the fog, the seats as well.
Lift your bum.
He looks around the back seat, gathers up DEE's clothes and hands them to her.
Here. Put this on. Cover yourself up.
He reaches to put the keys into the ignition, turns on the car to warm it up. He looks at the clock in the car.
Shit. I got to get back. My dad needs the car for his night shift. Are you okay?
DEE nods.
CHRIS kisses DEE briefly on the forehead. She reaches for more but he begins to dress and fix his hair.
Will you look at that? The fucker is just sitting in his car. Alone. He was probably watching us. Perv. Hurry up and put your clothes on.
CHRIS takes out his cellphone and looks at the call display. A look.
DEE
Is everything okay?
Pause.
CHRIS
Yeah. Just a few messages.
DEE
I dress quickly. It's so cold outside. And there are cars on both sides of ours. Everyone is doing something.
CHRIS
You ready?
(while fixing his hair in the rear-view mirror) Listen, I'm gonna need you to do something. And it has to happen tomorrow. Okay?
DEE
What?
CHRIS
Okay?
DEE
Okay.
CHRIS
You're going to have to buy the morning-after pill.
DEE
Okay.
CHRIS
Jon says his girlfriend didn't need to go to the doctor's for it. You can just get it at the drugstore.
DEE
Okay.
CHRIS
I just don't want to take any chances.
CHRIS moves to the front seat.
Pause.
DEE
Chris?
CHRIS
Come on, get into the front. I can't be late.
Scene 19
Lights up on ANNA in a closet. The sound of a family party offstage. She dials on her cellphone. She hangs up. Pause. She dials again.
ANNA
Hey Chris. I guess you're not there right now. Maybe I should text you again. No. I didn't text you because I really need to talk to you. And I don't know where you are.
She cries.
So if you can call me. I'm a fucking loser. I've left you a few messages already, I know. But I need you to call me.
She cries.
Listen…
Lights up on TERESA facing downstage in the school bathroom stall, speaking to DEE who is sitting on her knees on the floor, crying.
TERESA
Hey Dee, Dee. I'm right here.
My period hasn't come in a while.
TERESA
Listen, everybody knows about Anna. Even Sister Grace knows. I'm not going to lie to you. But it's not like everyone is whispering about it in the hallways. Seriously.
ANNA
And I know I'm… I'm… Fuck! I can't even say it. Shit!
TERESA
We all know there's a big chance it's not even Chris's. I bet she doesn't even know. And he's not even talking to her. Which makes him an even bigger jerk… but… I don't know what to say to you.
ANNA
I want it to be yours, okay? I don't want it to be anyone else's and I need you to call me. Just call me, okay? I miss you so much and… I don't know what to do.
TERESA
Come on, Dee. I'll help you up. Asha is outside. Both of us will walk with you to class. Okay?
Lights change.
Scene 20
Lights change. DEE stands outside Emerald Isles Food Mart. CHRIS is collecting shopping carts with his dad. DEE is shivering in her coat, watching CHRIS from afar. CHRIS approaches DEE.
CHRIS
Hey.
DEE
Hey.
CHRIS
How long you've been standing there?
DEE
I dunno.
CHRIS
Why didn't you call my name?
DEE
I dunno.
CHRIS
You okay?
DEE
Yeah. I just thought you were working.
CHRIS
My dad needed my help collecting the shopping carts again. He has a bum knee sometimes. You know.
DEE
Yeah.
Pause.
Are you coming to class later?
CHRIS
I don't know if that's a good idea.
DEE
I thought so.
CHRIS
Sorry I can't make it tonight either.
DEE
It's okay.
CHRIS
Fucking Jon. It's poker night and—
DEE
I know. You mentioned.
CHRIS
I can't change things.
Pause.
DEE
I know.
Pause.
CHRIS
I should go.
DEE
I know.
CHRIS
Hey!
He comes up to her and gives her a final kiss.
I'll call you later, all right?
DEE
Okay.
DEE watches CHRIS walk away.
Goodbye.
Scene 21
Lights change. The CHORUS enters. DEE watches.
CHORUS
Let your song be sung from mountains high
Sing a new song unto the Lord
Singing alleluia.
As the CHORUS sings DEE begins to change into civilian clothes. A woman.
Scene 22
ANNA enters suddenly with a baby bag. A park.
ANNA
Dee? Dee from St. Cecilia's?
DEE
Anna.
ANNA
Yeah. Shit.
Looking at her daughter across the park.
Lorena! Those are the big-girl slides, honey. Go to the little-girl slides. Good girl. (to DEE) Sorry. How are you?
DEE
Good. You've got a daughter. Lorraine?
ANNA
Lo-reh-na. Not Lorraine. I know. Super Catholic. But my mom insisted that if my kid didn't have a dad, I had to name her after a saint.
DEE
Okay…
ANNA
I know.
DEE
How old is she?
ANNA
She's two now. St. Cecilia's made me drop out when I got pregnant.
Pause.
DEE
She's beautiful.
ANNA
Aw, thanks. Did you graduate?
DEE
Yeah. I'll be going to McGill this fall.
ANNA
McGill?
DEE
It's in Montreal.
ANNA
Montreal, eh? I wish.
Pause.
You heard about Chris, right?
DEE
Yeah. Whitby with his dad. At least that's what I heard.
ANNA
That's what I heard too.
Pause.
DEE
You look great.
ANNA
(jokingly) Fuck off! I'm like twice the size I was.
Pause.
But it's worth it. (to Lorena) Baby! Let the little boy go first, then it's your turn, okay? (to DEE) She's awesome. You know? I smell like spit and diapers all the time, but I love this. This is good.
DEE
Yes.
ANNA
Shit. (to Lorena) It's okay, sweetheart. Mommy will change you. (to DEE) She's potty training.
She looks inside her diaper bag while running towards Lorena.
Ah, jeez. I, like, bring three sets of clothes and she ends up peeing herself four times. I can't believe it. Nice seeing you again. Good luck in Montreal, eh?
DEE
Thanks, Anna.
ANNA exits but drops a small baby toy on the ground. By the time DEE sees the toy and picks it up it's too late. ANNA is gone. Pause.
Rule #1: You move on. On and on despite the eyes above and pain in your heart. You keep moving. When you walk backwards you trip. This is me. This is me walking. Always forward.
The end.
As a proud queer woman of colour, writer and theatre practitioner, Catherine Hernandez has contributed immensely to the Toronto theatre scene with her work at Native Earth Performing Arts, Theatre Passe Muraille, bcurrent, Carlos Bulosan Theatre and others. Her first play, Singkil, garnered seven Dora Mavor Moore Award nominations, including Best New Play, Independent Division. Catherine is currently Artistic Director of Sulong Theatre Company, which is dedicated to creating theatre by and about women of colour.