“No,” I said, putting my hands up to stop him as he tried to push one of the blankets onto me. “Just do what you’re told for once,” I muttered, kissing him on the nose.
“Right, because you always do what I tell you to do,” he laughed.
“That’s different,” I replied smugly, folding his hand into mine. “You’re skin and bones. It’s not like you could stop me.”
“Harsh,” he said, a faint smile on his lips. “Em? Thanks for this. What you and Seth are doing for me means a lot.”
“I know it does.” My voice dropped. The tightness in my chest became more apparent. It was always there; a gnawing feeling, like I was just waiting for something bad to happen. And I guess I was.
I remember the day of his diagnosis like it was yesterday. I remember sitting in that surgery with him and Deb as the doctor explained how the melanoma they’d found between his little toe had spread to his pancreas. The prognosis wasn’t good, but it could have been worse. There was hope.
Until there wasn’t.
Terminal. Even hearing that word, I still clung to hope that a miracle would happen, and somehow the cancer would shrink. I’d lost my parents; surely life couldn’t be this cruel, could it? I felt awful even thinking about myself. I couldn’t imagine how he must have felt. He’d fought so hard for so long, and to be told there was nothing more they could do…how do you process that?
“Em,” Andy said, “Good thoughts, remember?”
I smiled, blinking back tears as I reached inside my jacket pocket and touched the small leather binder. Good thoughts. When it was obvious I wasn’t coping, I’d began writing down a list of memories, forcing myself to only focus on the good. It had been Andy’s idea, a way for me to remember time we’d had together. The time we had left. It was my way of staying strong for him, because the last thing he needed was for me to be a broken mess.
“Good thoughts,” I mumbled, squeezing his hand.
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Table of Contents
Dedication
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Epilogue
To the Readers
Acknowledgments
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