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    Barefoot in the Head

    Page 9
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      ‘I know,’ Angeline said. The heart always so laden, the gulls always so malignant.

      In the old kitchen among gash-cans where a single brass tap poured a thin melody out of one note, Ruby had her alone at last clasping her thin wrists by each tapering tendon her face still with youth in its whole imprint.

      ‘Don’t start anything, Ruby, get back to play your piece with the boys.’

      ‘You know how I feel about your continued days, how you always play my piece, and now I see you lay with Charteris.’

      She pulled from him and he caught her again, a slight look of ox under his eyebrushes. ‘I mind mine, you mind yours, you hip me Ruby though I know you mean well!’

      ‘Look, the rumour is he killed Phil — ’

      Frantic, and a churning mound of rubbish at the sill, ‘Ruby, if you are trying to make me — ’

      ‘I won’t kid, I never liked Phil, you know that, but to go round with the guy who did it — ’

      She was as thin from her lethargy as stretched teeth could make her. ‘He has something that’s all I know, and hope I need among you scenemakers, I don’t have to trust him...’

      In the next room they were calling and formationed birds dipped like sleet across her vision. ‘Remember me? I was around before you met Brasher, I knew you when you were a little lanky girl I used to come and play with your brothers, gave you your first kiss — ’

      ‘It’s looking back, Ruby, looking back,’ despairing.

      ‘I thought you loved me, you used to ride on my cycle.’

      ‘It’s past, Ruby.’ She was afraid of her own tears the very nature of her grottoed self. Leaning back over the choked draining board, she saw the face of him move across her visage like a lantern burning impatience, mutter, turn under its hairbush and leave her there with the one-note melody unlistened to but ever-piercing.

      Creaming crowds in Nottingham to greet the Escalation, teenagers blurry in the streets, hardly whispering, the middle-aged, the old, the crippled and the halt, all those who had not starved, all those who had not died from falling into fires or ditches on roads, all those who had not wandered away after the aerosols drifted down, all those who had not fallen down dead laughing, all those who had not opened their spongy skulls with can-openers to let out the ghosts and the rats. All were hot for the Escalation under the seams of their grey clouts.

      After two numbers, the boys, sensational and smelly, had the crowds throwing noise back at them. Burton stood up, announced Saint Charteris, asked if anyone had seen a stray dog wearing a red and black tie. The Escalation howled their new anthem.

      Obdolescent Loughborough

      With slumthing to live through

      Charteris we cry

      Is something to live by

      Try a multi-valued slant

      On the instant instant

      He had scarcely thought out what he was going to say. The pattern was there, misty or clear. It seemed so apparent he felt it did not need uttering, except they should wake and know what they knew. The slav dreamers, Ouspenski and the rest, sent him travelling with his message through to his outpost of Europe. If the message had validity, it was shaped by journey and arrival. He couldn’t always stand helpless across the river. In Metz, he had realised the world was a web of forces. Their minds, their special Midland minds had to become repositories of thinking also web-like, clear but indefinite, instant but infinite.

      If they wanted exterior models, the space-time pattern of communicationways with which their landscape was riddled functioned as a master plan, monster plan of mind-pattern. A1 the incoherent repirations that filled their lives would then fall into place. The empty old nineteenth-century houses built by new classes which now stood rotting in ginger stone on hillsides, carriageways either approached or receded like levels of old lakes, they were not wasted; they functioned as landmarks. No more eggless waters. Nothing should be discarded; everything would reorient, as the ginger stone mansions or the green stone churches were reoriented by the changing landscape dynamic, and the crash-ups escalated to a love-in. He was lead of the New Thought. The Fourth World System, Man the Driver, would appear soon, all would wake.

      So the words sprang up like bolted birds.

      Greta stood and screamed, ‘He killed Our Mum! Poor old girl with her flowers! He caused the multi-maxident on the Inner Relief. Kill him! Kill him!’

      ‘Kill him!’ also cried Ruby.

      White-faced Angeline said from the platform for all to hear, ‘And he killed my husband, Phil, you all knew him.’ It was sin to her whether she spoke or not; she worked by old moralities, where someone was always betrayed.

      Their troubled eyes all turned to his eyes, seeking meaning, like stars in the firment.

      ‘I thought they were going to crucify you,’ said Featherstone-Haugh after offering the Serb a glance through perspectives later to be of more transfixion over the desiccated lustrums of western worships, crowns of thorns, crosses of scorn, the love-kill. You couldn’t tell the bits of wreckage from the bits of victims. He couldn’t stop his heart beating.

      ‘It’s true! The lorry was sweeping along the great artery from Glasgow down to Naples, In Naples, they will also mourn. We are all one people now, Europeople, and although this massive region of yours is as special as the Adriatic Coast or the Dutch Lowlands, or the steppes of central Asia, the similarity is also in the differences. It’s the impact, as you must feel. You know of my life, that I was Communist like my father, coming from Serbia in Jugoslavia, that I lived long in Italy, dreamed all my while of England and the wide cliffs of Dover. Now I arrive here after the dislocation and fatal events begin, spreading back along my trail. It’s a sign. See how in this context even death is multivalued, the black nearest brown Brasher falling back into the traffic was a complex impulse-node from which effects still multiplicate along all tension lines. We shall all follow that impulse to the last fracture and serial of recorded time. The Escalation and I are now setting out on a motorcrusade down through our Europe, the autobahns, the war, dislocation, to ultimate unity. All of you come too, a moving event to seize the static instant of truth! Come too! Wake! There are many alternatives!’

      They were crying and cheering, discarding I’s. It would take on truth, be a new legend, a new communication in the ceaseless dialoga; the ground complexes given younger significance. Even Angeline thought. Perhaps he will really give us something to live by, more than the old fun grind. It surely can’t really matter, can it, whether there was a dog with a tie or not; the essential thing was that I saw it and stand by that. A phenomenon’s only itself eh? So it doesn’t matter whether he is right or not; just stay in the Banshee with him. Pray the warmth’s there, the loot.

      You couldn’t tell wreckage from victim in the fast-turning shade-shapes of obliquity.

      He was talking again, the audience were cheering, the group were improvising a driving song about a Midland-minded girl at the wheel of a sunlit automobile. An ambiguity about whether they meant the steering or the driving wheel.

      Plugging the night’s orifices with solid sound.

      PATTERN MORE THAN CITY MIND

      The Intermittent Tattooed Tattered Prepuce

      The moonlight of a June night

      Casts shadows of crashing airliners

      Onto the orthostrada of gaunt erections

      Moonlight moonlight

      Filing empty patios

      And the big gymnastic sergeant’s marching marching

      And the intermittent tattooed tattered prepuce

      Does bayonet practice on a sweet civilian girl

      Oh love’s a crash a parade-ground bash

      An auto-immune disorder from which issues

      A pair of bodies destroying their own tissues

      Left right left right left

      In out in out on guard

      Lovers of the world unite

      You’ve nothing to lose but appetite

      If winter comes can the following one

      Be more than a year away

     
    ; Could this be loot because I feel

      The flying human parts and the bits of steel

      In an uato-concussion are the modern way

      The military way

      Of committing love

      And the big gymnastic sergeant’s marching marching

      And the intermittent tattooed tattered prepuce

      Does bayonet practice on a sweet civilian girl

      Oh love’s a smash a uniform cash

      Negotiable when the moving parts peeling

      Can autocade feeling anti-flowered healing speedily stealing

      And the big gymnastic leather-cheeked sergeant’s marching

      marching marching

      And the intermittent inter-continental tattered tattooed

      prepuce prepuce

      Does bayonet practice on a civilised civilian sybaritic

      syphilitic

      Bayonet practice on a civilised civilian sybaritic syphilitic

      Civilised civilian sybaritic syphilitic

      Civilised civilian sybaritic syphilitic

      Supergirl

      Left right left right

      Moonlight moonlight

      Up the motorways of love

      PHIL, BILL, RUBY AND FEATHERSTONE-HAUGH

      SMALL DOGS HOWLING

      When you sank on my knee in the buggy

      You forked your loving tongue in my mouth

      And you worked me and made me come

      Though your hair didn’t fit you properly

      I still resemble the blur of your fingers

      When the small dogs are howling

      Tray Blanche and Sweetheart on the hem

      Oh throw your acidhead at them

      Lives deprived and broken

      Bottles empty by dawn

      While we were crotching together

      Did you mind my shoes was torn

      Some place like a magic garden

      My friends all call me Rajah

      And I’m a demon on the cello

      Don’t ask me what we’re doing on the heath love

      Because the estate has become divided

      And we’re one with the ones who won

      This place well the car broke down

      But the street lamps were your tall wild lilies

      And I couldn’t hear the small dogs howling

      Tray Blanche and Sweetheart on the hem

      Oh throw your acidhead at them

      THE MELLOW BELLOW

      DREAMING

      Swept under sleep’s terminator

      We send out blindfold signals

      To a listener in dim Andromeda

      We send out our folded signals

      To the listeners in all Andromedas

      Hoping dreading response

      Beyond the lighted alleyways

      The multi-motorways of time

      Yesterday’s day regurgitates

      Itself back through the limbic brain

      Backwards rattling through orifices

      Of ancient bugging systems

      Alpha rhythms delta rhythms

      Dark transmissions old as sandstone

      Wild as pop

      Between communiqués

      Another sleep-form new-invented

      Topiaries upwards outwards

      Through our

      Dull planetary bodies other

      Messages secreted in the pores

      Are also played out backwards

      On an unknown waveband

      These thin signals

      Pipe from us in automated

      Bursts

      To be picked up on stars

      White dwarfs

      Monitored in nebulae

      Identified

      In other galaxies as

      ‘Dark

      Bodies hitherto quite unsuspected’

      And still between all human noises

      Our figures with their own intent

      Run daylight and silence backwards

      When you target in to my

      Perceptions

      Am I reading you?

      My fullness is a part

      Of your thin signals

      My visions

      Wreckage of your orbit

      From ‘The Threepenny Space Opera’

      Another Dreaming Poem

      My letters delay in their personal boxes

      Uncertainty is on the whole my element

      And the astrabahns bifurcate steeply

      Low temperatures

      Curtains drawn tight

      A blur on the papered walls

      And the night branches drooping

      On the furred paths of grass

      What you might call my pessimism

      Is merely a long dedication

      Of involved enquiry

      Passionate and still deepening

      Into the lost events of everybody’s

      Days those past and those to come

      And those standing on end unsorted

      In the night’s post orifices

      The great well of personal stuff

      I don’t know or wish to know

      Floods me with messages

      Is it myself

      I walk with or happiness

      Found in the low night street

      Footsteps on the pavement

      Echoing in more than one house

      PATTERN MORE THAN CITY MIND

      The city has built-in pattern city

      city pattern

      city

      built-in pattern

      Mind is more than city more than city Mind more

      more than Mind city

      Roads run like fossil thought

      run

      fossil fossil like fossil

      Mind more

      city

      roads

      fossil

      Built-in thought

      Cities

      Cities have patterns

      built-in

      Cities

      Cities have built-in patterns more

      Minds are more Minds

      Minds

      Minds are more than cities

      road thoughts

      A road fossilised

      road runs road runs A road runs like fossilised thoughts

      Roads patterns

      runs

      cities

      fossilised

      Thoughts minds

      WE’RE ALL FOR THE DARK!

      Or, Life’s Never Been Better!

      If you’ve ever sailed on the ocean

      Or cheered when a port hove in sight

      There’s one thing you’ll know — that emotion

      Is better indulged in at night!

      Since the time when old Noah

      Spent those nights in the Ark

      With the animals pairing

      It’s best after dark!

      CHORUS: Life’s never been better!

      Each night lasts a year

      Stuffed with women and music

      And piss-ups and beer!

      The girls that by daylight

      Would blush to be stark,

      Decide that their blushes

      Won’t show in the dark!

      CHORUS: Life’s never been better, etc.

      Just yesterday breakfast,

      We got lit in the park —

      And the fire went on burning

      Till long after dark.

      CHORUS: Life’s never been better, etc.

      Next morning so early,

      We were up with the lark.

      We shot it down dead and —

      Crawled back in the dark!

      CHORUS: Life’s never been better, etc.

      If you lose your way travelling

      And the small dogs do bark,

      All the signposts will tell you —

      ‘This way to the dark!’

      CHORUS: Life’s never been better, etc.

      As Jesus remarked once

      To Matthew and Mark,

      ‘To Hell with Big Daddy —

      We’re all for the dark!’

      CHORUS: Life’s never been better!

      Each night lasts a year —


      Stuffed with women and music

      And piss-ups and beer!

      Stuffed with women and music

      And piss-ups and beer!

      ANONYMOUS

      THROUGH THE NEW ARCADE

      My sweet sweet Phil so often brutal

      My bloody Phil so sometimes gentle

      The trouble was you didn’t love enough

      You didn’t have to hit him

      Those years

      I’m too sentimental

      You were always too bloody sodding rough

      You were too much like my mother

      Completely misreading universal patterns

      Thinking you could always have your way

      Oh Christ my sweet damned Phil

      You burst apart

      Bits of body wreckage

      I never knew I never knew another

      Human being was that frail I always hated

      All that ranting made me ill

      Deep in my heart

      You tired me

      Even before my sticky-fingered schooldays

      I’d learned to sweat it out and all about

      But I’m too sentimental

      Hanging on to any hand that waited

      Well you inspired me

      You burst apart

      Once and so I stuck by you

      The fool I was

      When you’ve been crated

      You’ll see you’ll see I saw

      The way he looked at me I liked it

      And he took your blows so gentle

      And he spoke as if he knew

      Of universal patterns far beyond me

      Perhaps he recognised I could be true

     


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