Into Renewal
Brian Bigelow
Copyright © 2012 by Brian Bigelow
ISBN: 9781476079622
Soul sense published in “The Colors of Life”
by The International Library of Poetry ©2003 Brian Bigelow
Time Flight published in
“The International Who's Who In Poetry”
by The International Library of Poetry ©2004 Brian Bigelow
Passages previously published in
“The International Who's Who In Poetry”
by The International Library of Poetry ©2005 Brian Bigelow
Photo with The gateway ©2011
Published as the front cover of “Get The Job”
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No part of this work
covered by the copyright herein may be reproduced
by any means without written permission.
This book is dedicated to two women,
Patricia and Brandy.
It wouldn't have been possible otherwise.
Contents
Introduction
Cycle of life
Animate
Time passages
Season of change
Ancient ones
Distant reaches
Of wind and wolf
Time of rest
Enchanted moment
Spirit guide
Daybreak
Visit
Goddess dance
Sweet miracle
Dancing away
Echo's
Waiting for Spring
Spirit guide
Dancing away
Star goddess
Dawn light
Afterglow
Spirit dance
Life and love
Monsoon
Rainforest
Journey to freedom
Open roads
Life becoming art
The gateway
Becoming whole
Soul sense
Time flight
Passages
Falling leaves
Towards the light
Snowfall
Light of life
Introduction
In March 2002, my first wife, Patricia passed away and it seemed for a while as if my life had came to an abrupt end. It was the beginning of a time where it felt like I became totally empty and that I had reached the end of my existence. For the next four months I tried to figure out how to start living once again and in the process discovered both photography and poetry. For some, like myself, I think that it takes great sorrow and loss to become transformed. I can't say now that I was living before all this happened.
At first, the poetry was kind of a way to communicate with Trish and the photography was just a bit of a hobby and a way to take things off of my mind. Over the next couple of years both hobbies allowed me to delve into myself and begin to exorcise the inner demons that I had allowed to control my life. By June 2004 I had even begun to like myself for the very first time in my life.
My present wife, Brandy is who really deserves kudos for the way that she has supported me in this endeavor. I am so glad that I have found her and that she is now in both my life and my heart. She really has been one of the best things to ever happen to me. Without her caring, encouragement and love this book would have never been possible.
From a great tragedy
An awakening begins
From the tortured spirit
An opening within
a...
Journey into renewal...
Brian Bigelow
Cycle of life
Tree upon the mountainside
Locked in its world of white
Branches so naked and empty
Waiting for the warmth to come
Time rotating in coiled spiral
Coming back to bring renewal
Eternal dance of season's passage
With light and life mingling there
While the tree waits in silence
For life to begin once more
Under the vast expanse of sky
12/5/04
Animate
Dancing with the goddess
Under the pale moonlight
My spirit becomes freer
Able to reach for the heights
Soul begins to animate
Undulate with the moon
While the singing begins
Drawing me into her tune
Expanding my spirit
With her sense of being
My sister spirit comes to me
Opens up what I am seeing
And the world that awaits
Her special nature within
Consorting with my spirit
Peaceful voice calling in
3/25/05
Time Passages
Time in a spiral around me
Elements of you in what I see
Walls coming down all around me
Allowing me to finally see
Missing part of my soul in need
Towards new ends my heart always leads
Dancing always in the distance
A vision out of reach seems to prance
Reaching out my spirit today
To touch a projection on the way
Where I am always seeking to be
Essence of every single want
Every element it seems to haunt
Extends out beyond my essence
Seeking to coalesce with that presence
Passages of time come and go
While I seek what I wish to know
Letting my mind begin to grow
With my emotions beginning to flow
9/5/04
Season of change
My spirit so empty
Since that fateful day came
Ending of reality
Tossed about in the waves
Moments came and went by
Past I cherished to save
So slowly life returns
While flowing through time
As life wends through the turns
10/29/04
Ancient Ones
In the darkened valley
Whispering in the night
Those ancient sentinels
Shadows in pale light
Looking bent and twisted
Aged beyond their years
As I sit and listen
With the path so near
Sitting there listening
To the low communion
Carried by the breezes
And shadows of ebon
After a moment more
My thoughts begin to speak
Commune with the darkness
For the wisdom I seek
7/22/06
Distant reaches
This distance seems so far
When I want to touch you
Wish upon falling stars
Trying to make it through
My thoughts are always there
Walking with you each day
A vision I’m aware
Within my mind to stay
Reaching out my spirit
The distance becomes short
Want to do every bit
Helping you reach the port
Passages of time extend
Seems I sometimes can’t wait
As the road seems to wend
Towards eventual fate
9/25/04
Of wind and wolf
Breeze descending on the scene
Clouds and trees begin to move
Caught up in the esoteric dance
As the wolf comes out of hiding
Full moon shining in its display
Cal
ling out to innermost longings
Bringing out the wolf's haunting howl
Speaking to a deep secret yearning
Visions appearing within the mind
While shadows and dream conspire
Interplay in the passages of time
Carried beyond the glowing orb
By the drifting of passing thoughts
12/12/04
Time of rest
World of white waiting in patience
While time passes towards renewal
Icy tendrils grasping all within reach
With the crystals that slowly fall
Adding to the blanket that covers
And the wonderland that gently calls
12/23/04
Enchanted moment
Pale orb lights a winding path
Shadows within ebon hues
Under the twinkling lights
Flickering as if on cue
All is becoming quiet
Time lost within the moment
Lost both in time and place
Thoughts start to become silent
Bringing a time of healing
Freeing of a souls essence
To move upon the breezes
Moved by the glowing presence
1/20/05
Spirit Guide
Dreams and desire dance in the night
Under passage of falling moonlight
She reaches down deep into my soul
Guiding me around the many shoals
Toward the coming of a new dawn
Listening for the seas endless song
Beyond the reaches of my life’s past
Into my soul her image is cast
Guiding light into the coming age
To be written upon a blank page
10/17/04
Goddess dance
The goddess in the garden
Opening contorted souls
Reaching from the denizens
An effort to become whole
Joining with her essence there
Into the future to stare
Beyond the seas constant din
Emotion becoming essence
With the dancing in the dark
Part of her changing presence
Passing time within the park
10/10/04
Sweet miracle
Clouds passing by in the night
Moon hidden with its cold light
Tide was moving me further
No footing I could acquire
Until the guide came to me
Opened my eyes there to see
Took hold of the hand offered
Into the light I was led
Set free there from the water
And places it would saunter
Sweet miracle of new life
Finally been made alive
In the new life I’m given
New realm in which I’m living
12/7/04
Dancing away
Feeling the colors
As they pass on through
Take hold the burden
Time becoming new
Entering freedom
When all time has come
World of the dreams
The spirit at play
All colors in dance
One wishing to stay
Reaching far beyond
Bursting into song
11/13/06
Star goddess
Looking down to where I am
I see the special essence
Guide of lifetimes passage
And I feel her presence
From her place among the stars
Where they flicker endlessly
Myriad worlds shining
Sending out their light nightly
9/8/06
Echo's
Echo's of the forest come to mind
Each time I hear the song again
Wind blowing through the leaves
Stream flowing beyond this place
Moments that live in my soul
Dreams carrying me far beyond
Lost in the realm of this presence
Seeing the beauty of the moment
Capturing it within my dreams
Passing into that state of grace
Where I become whole again
12/26/04
Waiting for spring
Blanket of faceted crystals
Glistening in a festival
Covering the world in white
Clouds bring the palest light
Shortened days bringing renewal
To the child within it calls
World of wonder in the cold
Upon all children it takes hold
1/5/05
Spirit Guide
Dreams and desire dance in the night
Under passage of falling moonlight
She reaches down deep into my soul
Guiding me around the many shoals
Toward the coming of a new dawn
Listening for the seas endless song
Beyond the reaches of my life’s past
Into my soul her image is cast
Guiding light into the coming age
To be written upon a blank page
10/17/04
Daybreak
Opening of my heart
Life beginning to start
Reaching beyond the sea
A heart the yearned to be free
The books open pages
Life starting a new stage
Daybreak now reaching me
Letting me know I’m free
New spirit lives inside
Darkness moving aside
12/2/04
Dancing away
Feeling the colors
As they pass on through
Take hold the burden
Time becoming new
Entering freedom
When all time has come
World of the dreams
The spirit at play
All colors in dance
One wishing to stay
Reaching far beyond
Bursting into song
11/13/06
Dawn Light
Sunrise breaking the surface
Colors dance on the horizon
So much to discover now
Riding on the winds of fortune
Moments to revel within
Light flooding through every pore
Lost in the awakening
Brought with the daily encore
1/19/05
Afterglow
Morning of passions embrace
Where two hearts began to race
As souls intertwined together
Became lost within each other
Until nothing else around exists
Lost into the enveloping mists
Wrapped up within the comfort
Coming from the mornings effort
Opened up to every to every sensation
During such beautiful passion
While we lay here together
Two aware only of each other
Lost within the sweet afterglow
Emanating from passions flow
Daybreak
Opening of my heart
Life beginning to start
Reaching beyond the sea
A heart the yearned to be free
The books open pages
Life starting a new stage
Daybreak now reaching me
Letting me know I’m free
New spirit lives inside
Darkness moving aside
12/2/04
Visit
Special friend comes to visit
Time lost in the passage
Hours seem to disappear
Within the moments closeness
Lost in the spirit’s embrace
State of grace descends
Coming with a special touch
That only a good friend brings
With the passage of time
1/18/05
Life and love
Mountain trails beside cascading streams
Visions that in my mind dances and teems
Moving with a life becoming art
Life, love and peace ruling within my heart
As my spirit reaches for open skies
To where all my future vistas now lie
Monsoon
Rain coming to fall around
As I get lost in the sound
Falling drops begin to pound
New life in my soul is found
Time in its moving spiral
Brings me to survival
My spirit opening wide
Nothing within that can hide
With the raindrops all about
To my soul the moment shouts
Whole world in wet presence
Brought the nature of essence
Moments that speaks within me
Cause my spirit to be free
Sets me on the course I want
Far beyond the oldest haunts
State of renewal begins
New life beginning to win
In this change of season
Soon to bring the shining sun
Open the spirit to see
Where I really wish to be
Soaring into the future
Emotion flowing so pure
Monsoon bringing the beauty
Along with new realities
4/4/05
Rainforest
Rain begins to fall on the forest
Deluge becoming a torrent
Colors blending into pastels
As the forest begins to drink
Gathering to begin anew
To bring the new life within
Time continuing in its spiral
Light and life conjoining
Where beauty can be beheld
Entering to enfold the spirit
New life beginning to grow
Opening the door to the soul
Moment caught in time there
Memory to relive the essence
When the sun renews its light
Chases away the monsoon
To bring the cycle full circle
Growth for the inner being
With the cycle of a whole life
4/10/05
Journey to freedom
Restless spirit beginning its flight
Ready to reach for the highest heights
Whole world in revolution below
With the restless spirit on the go
Soaring high above the heavens high
Reaching far into the endless sky
Soul and spirit opening further
Target in sight the spirit acquires
Ambitions to bring the guidance in
While on the journey far within