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    Speaking Volumes

    Page 26
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      Crooning to the tilted earth—brevity of the day, lighting candles on that longest night—throwing sparklers—we were a strangely hopeful lot right up until the end. What was that in us, as a people—this collective assumption—that the good would prevail, that there would be plenty of time? Despite all the indications to the contrary. From the severed arms: a philosophy of wings. From the broken heart, hope.

      Let us croon to this earth, not entirely in tune, before we fall back into forgetfulness, into nothingness escorted by the president, the silent congress, the senate in evening clothes, into our annihilation.

      When shall the next catastrophe strike?

      Unlove the world and all its wonders and all its charms (the oboe, the ice age, the invention of writing, the origin of oceans).

      Before we are delivered back into oblivion. Let those of us who still can, sing.

      From the fragments: a beautiful songscape.

      Begin this book in gentleness, dear Reader.

      I send Rose out to school through the war and she reaches back to me through the first green of spring. It’s March 1993. She says I will miss you. I wonder if she will need sunscreen today (she will) or a hat. Goodbye. And she turns back one time to look at me—a receding figure in her bright eye.

      Rose makes her way down the path to school. She is learning to write. I will miss you, she says, singing as she goes. Promised today at the Winter Bear Montessori School: the ten board, word lists, the pink tower, carrot work, the binomial cube, the movable alphabet, the abacus. She can’t wait.

      Mystery Poem

      Elaine Equi

      1.

      I’m compelled to read mysteries

      as the murderer is compelled to murder

      and the detective to solve righteously

      and the mystery writer to inscribe

      the lonely night with his existential moonglow.

      A mystery is musical, mathematic, precise.

      Wittgenstein famously sought solace

      from the rigors of philosophy

      in the pages of mysteries. But what if

      the mystery writer simply got bored or distracted

      along the way, and forgot the investigation,

      and began to fall in love with the suspect Antonioni style?

      A poet is someone who goes out of her way to preserve

      a mystery, and can be led astray by ignoring or distorting

      certain evidence, while willfully harboring poetic illusions.

      Then there is the type that always answers a question

      with another question. I confess I’m guilty

      of having done that myself on more than one occasion.

      It’s an easy way to avoid the stigma of closure and say:

      “Let’s keep the case open and see what develops.”

      2.

      In spring, when trees and gardens begin to bloom

      a woman—refined, artistic—a professor I know

      licks her lips and announces: “It’s time for a lot of dead

      bodies to start piling up. That’s what I want to see.”

      I couldn’t agree more. I don’t believe people addicted

      to mysteries like to solve puzzles. I believe they want to kill.

      At least part of them does, and in order to entertain those fantasies,

      they must insure that that part is eventually apprehended

      and put away, disposed of like a cheap pulp novel.

      People that travel often tuck a mystery or two in their suitcase

      (or now on their iPad). What better way to escape the monotony

      of a sunny day than to sit on a beach, daiquiri in hand, and dissolve

      mentally into the mind of the grumpy Swedish detective Martin Beck?

      To follow as he trudges through rainy Stockholm streets, coughing

      and sneezing, running down one false lead after another, as if to assure us

      crime solving is a job, not a frivolous indulgence.

      Such passages remind me of how some sci-fi writers go out of their way

      to portray space travel as boring, claustrophobic—time spent

      playing solitaire between the stars. Yes, unraveling a mystery is a form

      of travel in and of itself. I feel at home in California, having been driven

      up and down the coast so many times by the likes of Raymond Chandler,

      Ross Macdonald, and the incomparable James M. Cain. During long insomniac

      nights, we’d stop for a cup of coffee and ask the locals what, if anything,

      unusual they’d seen, then jot down their answers in a notebook.

      A two-headed turtle; a three-legged dog; a white sock tinged

      with red, forgotten in a Laundromat; what looked to be a skeleton

      slow dancing in the corner of a tavern to a popular song.

      Wait a minute, these clues are starting to read like a poem.

      3.

      My heart races. My breath is shallow.

      Why do I care about these fictitious lives?

      Why sweat as if I’d committed the crime?

      The dragnet is closing in with its inevitable inevitability.

      I close my eyes, not when there’s blood or mayhem,

      but when order is about to be restored—can barely stand

      to read the preposterous (and believe me it always is) ending

      which resolves everything but hardly ever explains a thing.

      OK—it’s finally over. I’m calm, as Mayakovsky once said,

      as the “pulse of a corpse.” How finite everything suddenly looks,

      moving slowly or quickly toward its own demise.

      No wonder I must return to poetry for traces of, if not eternity,

      a largeness of spirit and voice—some quality of being

      less easily exhausted. Even those who disdain the metaphysical

      can marvel at the ability of words to overflow their meanings;

      even a rigorous materialist like Oppen was not immune to awe.

      From The Book of Spells

      Andrew Mossin

      THE LANGUAGE

      We bleed and burn with thirst, our blood is strength.

      —Tristan Tzara

      The world is exiled in the name. Within it there is the book of the world.

      —Edmond Jabès

      1.

      Begin somewhere, somehow

      Begin with “effects left blank”

      Begin “the weight in want”

      “the loss the order in destroy”

      the way that language folds up unexpectedly

      and we’re left unsure how to proceed …

      Assign risk to mornings clear and cloudless

      empiric understandings that have become habit

      the collar of red seen from your last window

      the emphasis that “she” acquires spoken silently at the circumference of thought.

      To begin here is not to begin there

      where yesterday another myself stood, another

      imposition of the self that rendered the first

      version mute: I was sitting at a table

      and through the lens of my left eye saw

      a man, not far from me, his horizon

      spiritually blank, I couldn’t say what it was

      that drew me to him, the way he

      hunched over his table and appeared to be

      writing, the writing he was doing I

      can’t say it was anything, there was a legibility

      to his hand, I couldn’t see the words

      as they formed, his wrist moving

      across the pages of notebook paper

      arranged on the table before him

      as if light itself had been d
    rawn away from every object

      leaving only this: a circle, wordless

      inside another circle of words.

      2.

      Is our task, then, like Darwin’s

      to find in language expression for what

      follows, “modifications consequent

      on other modifications”

      the virtue of which is to understand

      cause and effect in the world

      assignations of the natural surface

      where we walk without effort

      unable to acknowledge

      how at odds our beings are

      with what is around us, the play

      of light in trees that doesn’t

      allow us to form words for

      the “struggle for existence”

      that is, like a hand’s sudden wrapping of itself

      around another’s hand,

      both portent and apprehensive

      grasp of the visible: I moved

      away, I saw it was isolation

      bordering another form of isolation

      the language I was looking for

      wouldn’t allow me to say what I needed

      to say, one tree

      blocking the light, another

      affording me great depth.

      3.

      As if streaming from one

      river and the woman at the other

      side calling out to us, “Bring us back

      to you,” the versions

      of a woman’s contiguous being

      that acquired meaning only after

      she had long vanished.

      Is there one calling out to one calling?

      Is there a reason

      why in the mornings we can hide

      ourselves in the prolixity of language

      its habits and conciliations

      writing in our notebook the very noticeable

      difference awaking without one, awaking

      in the throes of memory, not oneself, apart

      from all who came before, throat and chest

      I retrace, finger knots, nods up against

      my finger bones, prodding, as they must

      go, band by band, into a circle of light

      offered again—

      A tool like that

      blackened, hard-hitting

      striking back in language

      when it is so often

      the other way: formless

      grappling for the speech of another

      to complete what needs

      saying here, black spirals of ink

      down a margin: voiceless.

      4.

      Even pity has been

      removed from us, pietàs

      that gave us ability at first

      to see

      not without difficulty

      our mother’s body raised epitaphic

      above our own. There was always

      the dutiful distrust

      of language, as if it could

      impoverish us all over again

      the way Merleau-Ponty

      describes that interaction between selves

      at the rim of experience

      a kind of border opprobrium

      encircling the “I” speaking

      to the one listening: “Whether speaking

      or listening, I

      project myself into the other

      person, I

      introduce him into my own self.”

      One can say I was pulled by you

      into myself, you pulled me back

      from who I was and gave me

      back myself

      even as the words we give

      each other—awkward, banal, bittersweet—

      can’t resolve the arrangement

      of bodies that must exist in time, mortal, inviolate

      sharing one space, then another, a paralleling

      like speech itself I came so far to find you

      Where did you go? to which one might respond

      You replaced me, I never left, it was you that got rid of

      myself.

      5.

      A coming into

      language

      the book’s effects and enticements

      forging a perimeter of feeling that held us near others

      and at the same time created border states

      nearly shameful

      as if we held nothing

      private or self-worthy could not

      enter the world

      to which we were brought

      “a world we wanted to go out into

      to come to ourselves into”

      like mourning the man who’d set us “free”

      once set us free there in another

      landscape, not this one

      its private and spectacled other

      to find a way back through one world

      back to another.

      6.

      Who or what brought us?

      A cycle of despair a ritual of pain.

      Antigone at the borderline between self-

      seeking and self-abnegation. An occlusion where her death

      mythopoeticizes something we can’t yet grasp—

      Where was her duty?

      To whom and for what?

      The body she mourned dies offstage. Her own

      death cannot be rendered

      except in the language of the messenger: “Your

      wife—dead from knife wounds self-inflicted.”

      And Creon’s inability to measure

      that death or sustain it in speech as he cried out.

      So that in two—mother and son—

      there is this sacrifice again

      newly made, newly seen. I sat there without

      moving I couldn’t say a word. You were right to leave

      when you did, the doors had been locked, I waited for you to

      be gone, then sure of that I let my own life

      run its course without you.

      What lives on lives on.

      Our exile has led us day by day

      away from you.

      7.

      And to say who.

      We are allowed to say it

      who killed

      who murdered

      We are allowed no less

      than to say who is dead

      beside us who is dying

      in words again in death words

      like no others she said

      no others to us she is saying

      in that exchange between us

      she is no less than we saying we cannot

      undo it

      we cannot un-

      do death.

      “Here we are no less than we are and you cannot undo it.”

      No less than we were

      than we are

      able to say something

      started to happen

      “the that fact”

      “the it was”

      “the after rains”

      we paused to see them overcoming us

      the very possibility of rains

      overcoming us

      as we drowned with others (this first

      sense memory of death shared)

      were left with others (adopted

      landscape of black Aegean)

      not for dead

      but for not dead (waking in this body

      no other’

      s capsized black letters)

      I have prayed for everything I have longed for.

      8.

      One must continue even as others

      remain behind

      “this cannot be”


      One must continue even as others do not

      “this must not be”

      There is a line isolated blackening sulfuric

      in shadows a line

      blackening where fathers’ and mothers’

      pronounced words do not come back to us

      Those who take care of things must be given back

      Those who took from us must be given

      what they took back

      In the name of taking they must be enclosed

      again in a landscape of black trees they must rest under black trees

      they must fall near the river coursing past black trees

      What is the name for what we gave them?

      When we have loss who will tell it?

      Who will?

      We have no name for it.

      9.

      When each is illiterate, crying

      out to be heard, wordless

      in an April night

      scenes authorized by memory

      not memory but written down

      to justify to authorize

      the one saying it …

      Outside it’s April, it’s nighttime

      two fierce shadows in a fight in nighttime

      One hears them in a fight over who will live

      who will die, in a night of childbirth one is

      fighting to live, one is dying, the sound of names

      being said, not said, there is a night

      fight going on inside a woman’s womb

      inside there are two being called

      forward, there is one nearly light

      one nearly dark, they are fighting

      inside the woman, her April night

      the news that cannot yet be told

      One is fighting to keep them alive

      One is fighting to let them die.

      10.

      Astride alight awash …

      Not nature of light

      Not elements of discontinuity

      Not dying early

      Not terror when it wanes

      Not disappear

      But spare things left undone …

      11.

      I travel with the book in hand

      I read what it wrote of our names

      on a wall of new days each new day

      a wall of words

      torn from another’s book

      until we speak in unison of our loss

      until we feel pain for another without shame

      and attend to him in the dark

      and hear him where the book has fled from us

      in the pillaged and desolate close of day

      passing with him through a vault of

      incense a shepherded hand passed toward mine

     


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