Fight!
I would, of course, love to know where – or who – all this nonsense comes from, but what really intrigues me is what exactly was the disagreement? Were John and I squabbling?
‘You’re drinking my tea.’
‘No I’m not, it’s mine.’
‘No it isn’t.’
‘Yes it is.’
Or were we arguing about what kind of tea we had been given?
‘I love a cup of Earl Grey, don’t you?’
‘Yes, but this is Darjeeling.’
‘It’s Earl Grey.’
‘It is Dar-bloody-jeeling!’
Or was it simply an age-old tribalism?
‘Of course, I am a coffee man myself.’
‘Well I am a tea man.’
‘No, no, you can’t beat coffee.’
‘Tea.’
‘Tea.’
The truth is I do like coffee. But I also like tea. But which is best? Of course, there was only one way to find out. Fight! At which point I clouted John with my tripod.
Give it to him
And where did this assault take place? The fact that I had a tripod with me suggests that it was either a photographic or birding context. Maybe he was a guest on one of my shows, or I was a guest on his. I have certainly met and several times worked with John Craven, but I like and admire him, and I hope the feeling is mutual. Indeed, I would go so far as to say that were we to find ourselves when there was only one cup of tea left in the pot, I would gladly give it to him. Or does he prefer coffee?
Slapper
The tripod myth baffles me, unless it stems from the time the two of us were broadcasting from the Chelsea Flower Show, and I got a bit too playful with a bunch of gladioli while impersonating Dame Edna. I admit I started it, but John did retaliate by giving me a damn good thrashing with a Red Hot Poker.
By the way, this paragraph is as fictitious as the stuff on the website.
And another thing
While I’m at it, I have been implicated in several other urban myths (why just urban? Does that imply that people are less gullible in rural areas? Of course those townies will believe anything!).
I have read and been told several times that I live in Norfolk. I don’t, nor ever have, but I can understand why people think I should. In fact, I have lived in London for 50 years. Before that I lived in Birmingham, and it is true that I went to King Edward’s School, Birmingham. However, the story that on the day of the Queen’s visit I moved all the bollards and rerouted the whole royal convoy through the school is not true. But I wish it was. Finally, it is a matter of rock and roll legend that The Goodies once beat up John Peel after he gave the ‘Funky Gibbon’ a bad review. No, they didn’t.
Bloomsbury Natural History
An imprint of Bloomsbury Publishing Plc
50 Bedford Square
1385 Broadway
London
WC1B 3DP
NY 10018
UK
USA
www.bloomsbury.com
BLOOMSBURY and the Diana logo are trademarks of Bloomsbury Publishing Plc
First published 2015
© Bill Oddie, 2015
Bill Oddie has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act,
1988, to be identified as Author of this work.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted
in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying,
recording, or any information storage or retrieval system, without prior
permission in writing from the publishers.
No responsibility for loss caused to any individual or organisation acting on
accepted by Bloomsbury or the author.
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
Library of Congress Cataloguing-in-Publication data has been applied for.
ISBN (HB): 978-1-4729-1531-3
ISBN (ePub): 978-1-4729-1532-0
2 4 6 8 10 9 7 5 3 1
Typeset by Deanta Global Publishing Services, Chennai, India
Printed and bound in Great Britain by CPI Group (UK) Ltd, Croydon, CR0 4YY
To find out more about our authors and books visit www.bloomsbury.com.
Here you will find extracts, author interviews, details of forthcoming
events and the option to sign up for our newsletters.