UI: Friends, much as I regret to say it, word
Has reached me that behind my back perfidious
Treason is being planned. Men close to me
Men whom I trusted implicitly
Have turned against me. Goaded by ambition
And crazed by lust for gain, these despicable
Fiends have conspired with the cauliflower
Moguls – no, that won’t do – with who? I’ve got it!
With the police, to coldly liquidate you
And even, so I hear, myself. My patience
Is at an end. I therefore order you
Under Ernesto Roma who enjoys
My fullest confidence, tonight …
Enter Clark, Giri and Betty Dullfeet.
GIRI, noticing that Ui looks frightened: It’s only
Us, boss.
CLARK: Ui, let me introduce
Mrs Dullfeet of Cicero. The Trust
Asks you to give her your attention, and hopes
The two of you will come to terms.
UI, scowling: I’m listening.
CLARK: A merger, as you know, is being considered
Between Chicago’s Cauliflower Trust
And Cicero’s purveyors. In the course
Of the negotiations, Cicero
Objected to your presence on the board.
The Trust was able, after some discussion
To overcome this opposition. Mrs Dullfeet
Is here …
MRS DULLFEET: To clear up the misunderstanding.
Moreover, I should like to point out that
My husband, Mr Dullfeet’s newspaper
Campaign was not directed against you
Mr Ui.
UI: Against who was it directed?
CLARK: I may as well speak plainly, Ui. Sheet’s
‘Suicide’ made a very bad impression
In Cicero. Whatever else Sheet may
Have been, he was a shipyard owner
A leading citizen, and not some Tom
Dick or Harry whose death arouses no
Comment. And something else. Caruther’s
Garage complains of an attack on one of
Its trucks. And one of your men, Ui, is
Involved in both these cases.
MRS DULLFEET: Every child in Cicero knows Chicago’s cauliflower
Is stained with blood.
UI: Have you come here to insult me?
MRS DULLFEET:
No, no. Not you, since Mr Clark has vouched
For you. It’s this man Roma.
CLARK, quickly: Cool it, Ui!
GIRI: Cicero …
UI: You can’t talk to me like this!
What do you take me for? I’ve heard enough!
Ernesto Roma is my man. I don’t
Let anybody tell me who to pal with.
This is an outrage.
GIRI: Boss!
MRS DULLFEET: Ignatius Dullfeet Will fight the Romas of this world to his Last breath.
CLARK, coldly: And rightly so. In that the Trust
Is solidly behind him. Think it over.
Friendship and business are two separate things.
What do you say?
UI, likewise coldly: You heard me, Mr Clark.
CLARK: Mrs Dullfeet, I regret profoundly
The outcome of this interview.
On his way out, to Ui:
Most unwise, Ui.
Left alone, Ui and Giri do not look at each other.
GIRI: This and the business with Caruther’s truck
Means war. That’s plain.
UI: I’m not afraid of war.
GIRI: Okay, you’re not afraid. You’ll only have
The Trust, the papers, the whole city, plus
Dogsborough and his crowd against you.
Just between you and me, boss, I’d think twice …
UI: I know my duty and need no advice.
A sign appears.
II
Garage. Night. The sound of rain. Ernesto Roma and young Inna. In the background gunmen.
INNA: It’s one o’clock.
ROMA: He must have been delayed.
INNA: Could he be hesitating?
ROMA: He could be.
Arturo’s so devoted to his henchmen
He’d rather sacrifice himself than them.
Even with rats like Givola and Giri
He can’t make up his mind. And so he dawdles
And wrestles with himself. It might be two
Or even three before he gets a move on.
But never fear, he’ll come. Of course he will.
I know him, Inna.
Pause.
Flat on the carpet, pouring out his guts
I’ll feel as if I’d taken a good leak.
Oh well, it won’t be long.
INNA: These rainy nights are
Hard on the nerves.
ROMA: That’s what I like about them.
Of nights the blackest
Of cars the fastest
And of friends
The most resolute.
INNA: How many years have
You known him?
ROMA: Going on eighteen.
INNA: That’s a long time.
A GUNMAN comes forward:
The boys want whisky.
ROMA: No. Tonight I need
Them sober.
A little man is brought in by the bodyguards.
THE LITTLE MAN, out of breath:
Dirty work at the crossroads!
Two armoured cars outside police H.Q.
Jam-packed with cops.
ROMA: Okay, boys, get the
Bullet-proof shutter down. Those cops have got
Nothing to do with us, but foresight’s better
Than hindsight.
Slowly an iron shutter falls, blocking the garage door.
Is the passage clear?
INNA nods: It’s a funny thing about tobacco. When a man
Is smoking, he looks calm. And if you imitate
A calm-looking man and light a cigarette, you
Get to be calm yourself.
ROMA, smiling: Hold out your hand.
INNA does so: It’s trembling. That’s no good.
ROMA: Don’t worry. It’s all
Right. I don’t go for bruisers. They’re unfeeling.
Nothing can hurt them and they won’t hurt you.
Not seriously. Tremble all you like.
A compass needle is made of steel but trembles
Before it settles on its course. Your hand
Is looking for its pole. That’s all.
A SHOUT, from the side: Police car
Corning down Church Street.
ROMA, intently: Is it stopping?
THE VOICE: No.
A GUNMAN comes in:
Two cars with blacked-out lights have turned the corner.
ROMA: They’re waiting for Arturo. Givola and
Giri are laying for him. He’ll run straight
Into their trap. We’ve got to head him off.
Let’s go!
A GUNMAN: It’s suicide.
ROMA: If suicide it is
Let it be suicide! Hell! Eighteen years
Of friendship!
INNA, loud and clear: Raise the shutter!
Machine-gun ready?
A GUNMAN: Ready.
INNA: Up she goes.
The bullet-proof shutter rises slowly. Ui and Givola enter briskly, followed by bodyguards.
ROMA: Arturo!
INNA, under his breath: Yeah, and Givola.
ROMA: What’s up?
Arturo, man, you had us worried. Laughs loudly. Hell!
But everything’s okay.
UI, hoarsely: Why wouldn’t it be okay?
INNA: We thought
Something was wrong. If I were you I’d give him
The glad-hand, boss. He was going to lead
Us all through fire to
save you. Weren’t you, Roma?
Ui goes up to Roma, holding out his hand. Roma grasps it, laughing. At this moment, when Roma cannot reach for his gun, Givola shoots him from the hip.
UI: Into the corner with them!
Roma’s men stand bewildered. Inna in the lead, they are driven into the corner. Givola bends down over Roma, who is lying on the floor.
GIVOLA: He’s still breathing.
UI: Finish him off.
To the men lined up against the wall.
Your vicious plot against me is exposed.
So are your plans to rub out Dogsborough.
I caught you in the nick of time. Resistance
Is useless. I’ll teach you to rebel against me!
You bastards!
GIVOLA: Not a single one unarmed!
Speaking of Roma:
He’s coming to. He’s going to wish he hadn’t.
UI: I’ll be at Dogsborough’s country house tonight.
He goes out quickly.
INNA: You stinking rats! You traitors!
GIVOLA, excitedly: Let ’em have it!
The men standing against the wall are mowed down by machine-gun fire.
ROMA comes to:
Givola! Christ.
Turns over, his face chalky-white.
What happened over there?
GIVOLA: Nothing. Some traitors have been executed.
ROMA: You dog! My men! What have you done to them?
Givola does not answer.
And where’s Arturo? You’ve murdered him. I knew it!
Looking for him on the floor.
Where is he?
GIVOLA: He’s just left.
ROMA, as he is being dragged to the wall: You stinking dogs!
GIVOLA, coolly: You say my leg is short, I say your brain is small.
Now let your pretty legs convey you to the wall!
A sign appears.
12
Givola’s flower shop. Ignatius Dullfeet, a very small man, and Betty Dullfeet come in.
DULLFEET: I don’t like this at all.
BETTY: Why not? They’ve gotten rid
Of Roma.
DULLFEET: Yes, they’ve murdered him.
BETTY: That’s how
They do it. Anyway, he’s gone. Clark says
That Ui’s years of storm and stress, which even
The best of men go through, are over. Ui
Has shown he wants to mend his uncouth ways.
But if you persevere in your attacks
You’ll only stir his evil instincts up
Again, and you, Ignatius, will be first
To bear the brunt. But if you keep your mouth shut
They’ll leave you be.
DULLFEET: I’m not so sure my silence
Will help.
BETTY: It’s sure to. They’re not beasts.
Giri comes in from one side, wearing Roma’s hat.
GIRI: Hi. Here already? Mr Ui’s inside.
He’ll be delighted. Sorry I can’t stay.
I’ve got to beat it quick before I’m seen.
I’ve swiped a hat from Givola.
He laughs so hard that plaster falls from the ceiling, and goes out, waving.
DULLFEET:
Bad when they growl. No better when they laugh.
BETTY: Don’t say such things, Ignatius. Not here.
DULLFEET, bitterly: Nor
Anywhere else.
BETTY: What can you do? Already
The rumour’s going around in Cicero
That Ui’s stepping into Dogsborough’s shoes.
And worse, the greengoods men of Cicero
Are flirting with the Cauliflower Trust.
DULLFEET:
And now they’ve smashed two printing presses on me.
Betty, I’ve got a dark foreboding.
Givola and Ui come in with outstretched hands.
BETTY: Hi, Ui!
UI: Welcome. Dullfeet!
DULLFEET: Mr Ui
I tell you frankly that I hesitated
To come, because …
UI: Why hesitate? A man
Like you is welcome everywhere.
GIVOLA: So is a
Beautiful woman.
DULLFEET: Mr Ui, I’ve felt
It now and then to be my duty to
Come out against…
UI: A mere misunderstanding!
If you and I had known each other from
The start, it never would have happened. It
Has always been my fervent wish that what
Had to be done should be done peacefully.
DULLFEET: Violence …
UI: No one hates it more than I do.
If men were wise, there’d be no need of it.
DULLFEET: My aim …
UI: Is just the same as mine. We both
Want trade to thrive. The small shopkeeper whose
Life is no bed of roses nowadays
Must be permitted to sell his greens in peace.
And find protection when attacked.
DULLFEET, firmly: And be
Free to determine whether he desires
Protection. I regard that as essential.
UI: And so do I. He’s got to be free to choose.
Why? Because when he chooses his protector
Freely, and puts his trust in somebody he himself
Has chosen, then the confidence, which is
As necessary in the greengoods trade
As anywhere else, will prevail. That’s always been
My stand.
DULLFEET: I’m glad to hear it from your lips.
For, no offence intended, Cicero
Will never tolerate coercion.
UI: Of course not.
No one, unless he has to, tolerates
Coercion.
DULLFEET: Frankly, if this merger with the Trust
Should mean importing the ungodly bloodbath
That plagues Chicago to our peaceful town
I never could approve it.
Pause.
UI: Frankness calls
For frankness, Mr Dullfeet. Certain things
That might not meet the highest moral standards
May have occurred in the past. Such things
Occur in battle. Among friends, however
They cannot happen. Dullfeet, what I want
Of you is only that in the future you should
Trust me and look upon me as a friend
Who never till the seas run dry will forsake
A friend – and, to be more specific, that
Your paper should stop printing these horror stories
That only make bad blood. I don’t believe
I’m asking very much.
DULLFEET: It’s easy not
To write about what doesn’t happen, sir.
UI: Exactly. And if now and then some trifling
Incident should occur, because the earth
Is inhabited by men and not by angels
You will abstain, I hope, from printing lurid
Stories about trigger-happy criminals.
I wouldn’t go so far as to maintain that
One of our drivers might not on occasion
Utter an uncouth word. That too is human.
And if some vegetable dealer stands
One of our men to a beer for punctual
Delivery of his carrots, let’s not rush
Into print with stories of corruption.
BETTY: Mr
Ui, my husband’s human.
GIVOLA: We don’t doubt it.
And now that everything has been so amiably
Discussed and settled among friends, perhaps
You’d like to see my flowers …
UI, to Dullfeet: After you.
They inspect Givola’s flower shop. Ui leads Betty, Givola leads Dullfeet. In the following they keep disappearing behind the flower displays. Givola and Dullfeet emerge.
GIVOLA: These, my dear Dull
feet, are Malayan fronds.
DULLFEET: Growing, I see, by little oval ponds.
GIVOLA: Stocked with blue carp that stay stock-still for hours.
DULLFEET: The wicked are insensitive to flowers.
They disappear. Ui and Betty emerge.
BETTY: A strong man needs no force to win his suit.
UI: Arguments carry better when they shoot.
BETTY: Sound reasoning is bound to take effect.
UI: Except when one is trying to collect.
BETTY: Intimidation, underhanded tricks …
UI: I prefer to speak of pragmatic politics.
They disappear. Givola and Dullfeet emerge.
DULLFEET: Flowers are free from lust and wickedness.
GIVOLA: Exactly why I love them, I confess.
DULLFEET: They live so quietly. They never hurry.
GIVOLA, mischievously:
No problems. No newspapers. No worry.
They disappear. Ui and Betty emerge.
BETTY: They tell me you’re as abstinent as a vicar.
UI: I never smoke and have no use for liquor.
BETTY: A saint perhaps when all is said and done.
UI: Of carnal inclinations I have none.
They disappear. Givola and Dullfeet emerge.
DULLFEET: Your life with flowers must deeply satisfy.
GIVOLA: It would, had I not other fish to fry.
They disappear. Ui and Betty emerge.
BETTY: What, Mr Ui, does religion mean to you?
UI: I am a Christian. That will have to do.
BETTY: Yes. But the Ten Commandments, where do they Come in?
UI: In daily life they don’t, I’d say.
BETTY: Forgive me if your patience I abuse
But what exactly are your social views?
UI: My social views are balanced, clear and healthy.
What proves it is: I don’t neglect the wealthy.
They disappear. Givola and Dullfeet emerge.
DULLFEET: The flowers have their life, their social calls.
GIVOLA: I’ll say they do. Especially funerals!
DULLFEET: Oh, I forgot that flowers were your bread.
GIVOLA: Exactly. My best clients are the dead.
DULLFEET: I hope that’s not your only source of trade.
GIVOLA: Some people have the sense to be afraid.
DULLFEET: Violence, Givola, brings no lasting glory.
GIVOLA: It gets results, though.
DULLFEET: That’s another story.
GIVOLA: You look so pale.
DULLFEET: The air is damp and close.
GIVOLA: The heavy scent affects you, I suppose.
They disappear. Ui and Betty emerge.
BETTY: I am so glad you two have worked things out.
UI: Once frankness showed what it was all about…
BETTY: Foul-weather friends will never disappoint …
UI, putting his arm around her shoulder: