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    A Bernadette Mayer Reader

    Page 8
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      To die, turn to page 172.

      Sonnet

      Other than what’s gone on and stupid art

      I’ve no even memory of people and their part

      In bed I forget all details

      The female with the male entails

      For whatever that’s worth who cares

      He who worries or she who dares

      To die practically without mentioning

      Again our idiotic utopian friendships

      All the city’s a mass of slush and ices

      You might know I dont about poetries

      My hand’s your hand within this rhyme

      You look at me this is all fucked up time

      I’m just a sparrow done up to be

      An Amazon or something and he? or thee?

      We Eat Out Together

      My heart is a fancy place

      Where giant reddish-purple cauliflowers

      & white ones in French & English are outside

      Waiting to welcome you to a boat

      Over the low black river for a big dinner

      There’s alot of choice among the foods

      Even a tortured lamb served in pieces

      En croute on a plate so hot as a rack

      Of clouds blown over the cold filthy river

      We are entitled to see anytime while we

      Use the tablecovers to love each other

      Publicly dishing out imitative luxuries

      To show off poetry’s extreme generosity

      Then home in the heart of a big limousine

      Homeopathic Busyness

      Rigorously going from field to field

      To plow up the internecine wars, how do

      People find the time for their suppers

      Or lost articles, there’s so much blood

      On the precinct steps even in the imagist snow

      And I go from the moments are becoming tinier

      To soon it will be bloody tomorrow’s being over

      Instead of any extent of thought’s, love’s

      Or work’s privileges big enough to be

      The right doses. I make little money at it

      But then who doesn’t wake up at 6 am to think

      Before the grapefruits’ eyes, the student cereals

      Floating around in, of all things, some milk

      Before the window’s corridor where the snow flies up

      Incidents Report Sonnet

      for Grace

      Woke up from dream on

      July 9 1965, dream was erotic

      (can’t remember what was in it),

      I think the woman was attempting

      to sit on her chair while

      lifting the man’s wallet

      but then on the boatride my hand

      got caught in the elevator door

      by the firecracker tossed in

      by a child who was a woman as missing

      as the coffee money, anyway I

      lost balance and, falling, woke up

      jerking off through the chair,

      another chair, was still falling

      on my foot, sorry.

      Incidents Report Sonnet #2

      for Grace too

      I was not yet married when

      at age 2, a female other, I

      put my finger into the forms of address

      of the most blue night early in the morning

      and said to my sister Rosemary, “Well,

      what do you think of this!”

      At the time we were both

      sitting on the floor before the balls

      of blue glass we were to clean

      so often in the future and by the window

      Rosemary once fell out of, who agreed

      our exploration was fascinating

      Only trouble is

      Our mother hit the ceiling

      Incidents Report Sonnet #5

      for Grace also

      Now you must remember that bed

      we slept in head to feet in upstate new york.

      David who was probably four

      had just so badly injured his foot.

      We had scared the wits out of the kids

      playing hide & seek outdoors in the dark.

      We ate Canadian Oat Bread and baked

      millions of potatoes for our charges.

      You and I took notes on everything

      including Colin’s dream ravings.

      I’m forgetting to mention many things

      including attempting to swim in the shallow stream.

      Then we got into our tiny bed together

      with our shared immortal fear of love.

      Sonnet

      ash

      Ash is left behind from things

      laugh

      As I love to see you laughing when you come

      drink

      Or even drink—boom, wow! a wild boy

      plate

      Bring those damn apricots on a gold plate

      crack

      Before bottles in the park go crack

      walls

      Toward wilder heroinistic walls and we

      train

      Must then get on the red & tan, not the train

      traffic

      Or that exacting traffic plane

      pages

      Between the pages of this your book

      O.K.

      Read by many O.K. people

      know

      Who know that stupid

      noise

      Noise is coming from the street

      still

      Still in the still night

      independence

      On independence day welcome death!

      with Philip Good

      Sonnet We Are Ordinary C’mere

      Excerpts I love you from abstracts

      So what who cares songs of one and

      Experience of this is a case like

      Whole and I am not from there I write

      To you to say I know nothing as ever

      No rhyming no everything there is

      No proceeding no thinking you will be my

      What will you be? And that is the end

      Except for the instance

      What are you wearing?

      Why aren’t you here?

      Where’d you put the window?

      C’mere

      Tell me the rest of it

      Sonnet

      To perform for you, ask me why, shall I sleep?

      You make love so beautifully I don’t know what to do

      You come and put your university hand

      You’ve thrown yourself off the roof by now

      A white dog chases a man around the park

      Your school hand your rich hand your suburban hand

      Cares if I come I am a woman & we women must both

      Have babies & there’s my mirror & there’s my baby

      I want one intent on your form like a room

      Prepare food and eat it if the race would survive

      The crystal lay like a comparison with wealth to you

      I checked and you don’t have your car keys

      Can I believe her? So

      Returned from the dead.

      Sonnet

      Beauty of songs your absence I should not show

      How artfully I love you, can you love me?

      Let’s be precise let’s abdicate decorum

      You come around you often stay you hit home

      Now you are knocking, you need a tylenol;

      From all that comedy what will you tell?

      At least you speak, I think I’d better not;

      Often men and not women have to sleep

      You’ve come and gone—to write the perfect poem

      And not ten like men or blossoms, but I am profligate

      I strike the ground for ruin while you sensibly sleep

      And so in this at least a poem can have an end

      How could you sleep, I go to wake you up

      My Lysistrata, my unannounced rhyme

      Incandescent War Poem Sonnet

      Even before I saw the chambered nautilus


      I wanted to sail not in the us navy

      Tonight I’m waiting for you, your letter

      At the same time his letter, the view of you

      By him and then by me in the park, no rhymes

      I saw you, this is in prose, no it’s not

      Sitting with the molluscs & anemones in an

      Empty autumn enterprise baby you look pretty

      With your long eventual hair, is love king?

      What’s this? A sonnet? Love’s a babe we know that

      I’m coming up, I’m coming, Shakespeare only stuck

      To one subject but I’ll mention nobody said

      You have to get young Americans some ice cream

      In the artificial light in which she woke

      Clap Hands

      I’ll write you sonnets till you come

      Home from school again, the music of your cave become

      A stalagmitic presence, honey I don’t have

      An electronically regulated discharge tube that can emit

      extremely rapid, brief and brilliant flashes of

      light, such a squinting and twisting around

      as to disorder it’s nice to divide a sonnet

      This way when you might fuck me up the ass

      On account of the presence of the bureau by the door

      Cause of some song like the one by Tom Verlaine

      Where he says adieu like a kid from Brooklyn

      Tell like so cause me Bill loves you to not to know

      Turn the hear to why over Bill me cause I’ll know I you

      Say and am to exist I not entranced pretty

      Can’t Bill with startling say Shakespeare myself that

      Couplet I adore you it’s my habit

      I want manly things & should not, women come to me

      Sonnet

      For that which is not conscious, the

      language provides no means of expression

      —Gregory Bateson

      You read about Uranus in the Times?

      How there’s two more moons? & how the guys

      In the neighborhood I grew up in got arrested

      For killing a final cop and wounding a woman one?

      She’s in stable condition, life is

      Kind of hot if empty-seeming, don’t you think?

      Me and the cop who arrested him have got alot in common

      Not only cause of Ridgewood and cause his name is Angel

      My Voyager, Uranus is far away as far as my pessary

      From the magnetosphere forgive me cock

      Gaea was born of Chaos in a phoneless prison

      Let’s have a baby today, I gave

      You a new name

      The Phenomenon of Chaos

      Love’s not intent today what did I see

      A bank, a store, a pattern of leaves

      Fallen to the basketball court because

      Rain followed the smoke of eleven states’ fires

      To exit from the universe you could

      Believe nothing is checked on

      But we don’t exactly exist do we

      Otherwise how could we

      Do you love me when the earth’s sun

      Sets on your song on your tongue

      This is ridiculous the universe

      Is no longer uniform

      By this we mean the universe’s not or aint

      A standard of nothing love’s turning no more

      Catullus #48

      I’d kiss your eyes three hundred thousand times

      If you would let me, Juventius, kiss them

      All the time, your darling eyes, eyes of honey

      And even if the formal field of kissing

      Had more kisses than there’s corn in August’s fields

      I still wouldn’t have had enough of you

      Catullus #99

      Honey while you played I stole

      a little kiss, Juventius, sweet sweet

      This didn’t go unpunished & from then I’m fixed

      on the highest tearless crucifix

      I make myself clear with my tears

      it doesn’t work and you’re still mad

      Once when we kissed you used your spit

      to wipe your lips, oh your soft fingers

      you looked like you thought you might get Aids

      from the dirty kiss of this diseased whore

      How come you always bring me love without rest

      It’s all misery, you always torture me

      that small kiss was the bitterest

      And all you’ve given me since are punishments

      handed out like medicines for miserable love

      I’ll never steal another kiss

      After Catullus and Horace

      only the manners of centuries ago can teach me

      how to address you my lover as who you are

      O Sestius, how could you put up with my children

      thinking all the while you were bearing me as in your mirror

      it doesn’t matter anymore if spring wreaks its fiery

      or lamblike dawn on my new-found asceticism, some joke

      I wouldn’t sleep with you or any man if you paid me

      and most of you poets don’t have the cash anyway

      so please rejoin your fraternal books forever

      while you miss in your securest sleep Ms. Rosy-fingered dawn

      who might’ve been induced to digitalize a part of you

      were it not for your self-induced revenge of undoneness

      it’s good to live without a refrigerator! why bother

      to chill the handiwork of Ceres and of Demeter?

      and of the lonesome Sappho, let’s have it warm for now.

      Large Imitation Classical Lune

      Patricia my man

      you disapprove of men

      but when we fucked

      you didn’t mind my boyishness

      so very much

      you said it reminded you

      of my Sophia

      now you and Beth attack

      my new boyfriend

      and say he hasn’t anything

      to say plus

      he’s just like other men

      to idiot Bernadette

      you say how I love

      men takes time

      from our conversations our privacy

      but you don’t

      feel that way about Maureen!

      Laura’d be horrified

      to know which she does

      that I speak

      of you two as one

      but, girlfriends, remember

      the sky’s the limit in

      these risky questions

      of friendship and of love

      I’ve overcome all

      my travel phobias, my fears

      of enclosed spaces

      I’ll go to Staten Island

      I’ll go alone

      Mommy and I aren’t one

      but I won’t reform

      I still wanna make love

      to you two

      as one and too, him

      Hendecasyllables on

      Catullus #33

      You have the balls to say you will be with me

      but you hardly ever are, then you say you’re scared

      of your parents’ opinion, they pay your rent

      I wouldn’t mind that if they didn’t think I

      was a whore ridden with Aids disease & worse things

      but I am I and my little dog knows me

      in the most astonishingly bourgeois way

      I even pay my self-employment tax now

      and put leftovers into expensive tinfoil

      to be used in imaginable tomorrows

      therefore I protest my bad reputation

      but I do wander all night in my vision

      Catullus #67

      CATULLUS:

      O sweet delightful delightful door, a pleasure to the husband

      and to the husband’s father, bliss for all parents

      who have penises

      Be in good health my door, hello to you, let Jupiter

      or
    God increase your self’s good works

      Door who serviced Balbus well and once upon a time

      While he still held his own old seat in the home,

      that is, he lived

      And to what extent, how much, do you bring bear carry

      back and backwards to swim to stream to flow to serve

      so badly

      After the stretched out fact of the married man versus

      the dead man

      In the old sleepy house to have been so abandoned . . .

      Why have you become so changed to us?

      DOOR:

      So it please, Caecilius, son of Balbus,

      whom I now serve, I haven’t changed

      nor is it my fault: it never was

      No matter what anybody says

      I’ve committed no sin

      People will always blame the door

      whenever a bad thing happens

      Well, let them talk: I didn’t

      CATULLUS:

      It’s not enough for you to speak one word about that but

      to do it so anyone can sense it and feel it and see it

      DOOR:

      How can I? Nobody wants to know the truth

      CATULLUS:

      Well that’s what we wish for: you have to tell us

      things without a doubt

      DOOR:

      Well, first of all, she wasn’t a virgin

      when she came to us

      It was old Balbus himself who had her first

      because his poor son’s limp dagger hung

      like a withered beet that never even reached

      mid-tunic; yes, it was the father got in the marriage bed

      and defiled it

      whether from pure lust

      or simply the urge to do his son’s work:

      somebody had to do the proper thing

      and undo a married virgin

      CATULLUS:

      He sure was one extremely high frequency father-in-law—

      you speak too well of him—this parent pissed on the lap of

      the wife of his son or maybe he pissed in her belly or maybe

      he pissed on her breasts or maybe he pissed in a holy way

     


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