mating cycle. They do this to their children for God's sake.
Ten year olds accept symbions and they stand up and fly
away, perfectly sane, perfectly happy. All my research tells
me it should be no different for a human."
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Zara wanted to argue. She wanted to blame Danson for
this tragedy, but how could she dispute a decade of research?
"I'm sorry, Ray. I didn't mean—"
A commotion filled the end of the corridor outside Danson's
lab and Zara abandoned her apology to lean out of the
doorway for a look. A number of human staff members had
crowded around Jidar's broad form as the Icarian leader made
his way in from the beach. Without further thought for
Danson, Zara launched herself down the corridor and came to
a skidding halt on the damp tile floor in front of Jidar.
She'd never addressed the leader directly before, but now,
all her self-consciousness faded away. In this moment she no
longer harbored an irrational fear of the winged giant, only
what he had to say frightened her. "Did you find him?"
Jidar hung his head. Up until now, the proud Icarian had
never admitted defeat in anything. It curdled Zara's stomach
to see his massive shoulders slump. "There are dozens of us
in the sky. No one has spotted him."
"Could he have drowned?" someone asked.
"The symbion would float with its wings spread on top of
the water for some time. We would have seen him if he'd
gone down on the water. He's probably found an aerie to hide
in."
Cold despair crept up Zara's spine, and when the sensation
reached her jaw she shivered. Icarus's ocean was huge. It
covered more than eighty-five percent of the planet's surface
and was freckled with millions of tiny columnar islands upon
which the Icarians built their aeries. Even calculating the
farthest distance a newly joined adult symbion could fly in a
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few hours, that left hundreds of square kilometers to search,
encompassing dozens of islands and the treacherous volcanic
rocks that surrounded them.
"What if we activate our emergency beacon? Our supply
ship from Sierra Station could be here in a day and they could
do a global scan from space."
All eyes turned to Zara. Mark Walden, the research
station's supply chief, shook his head. "This isn't a colony-
wide emergency."
"Yes it is." Zara didn't want to argue with Mark or anyone
else. She just wanted Caleb back safely, and if the Icarians
couldn't find him with an aerial search, they had to widen
their parameters. After all, the flight from Sierra Station,
which orbited between Icarus and its sister world Daedalus,
wasn't that long.
Behind Jidar, Namara strolled into the station, ocean water
dripping from her wing tips and her eyelashes. She put a
hand on her husband's shoulder for support. "I'm sorry. Our
search to the south has turned up nothing. Word has gone
out to the islands in that sector and another search party will
take off shortly."
Zara backed up until her heels touched the corridor wall.
She leaned back and closed her eyes, trying to draw strength
from the building the same way Namara seemed to draw
strength from Jidar. "What else can we do?"
"A beacon..." Jidar contemplated her suggestion.
Mark spoke up immediately. "With respect, emergency
protocol states we cannot—"
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Jidar cut the chief's protest off with a wave of his hand.
"Not to summon a ship. The light beacon at the eastern end
of your island ... turn it on. It may attract Caleb when night
falls. It will give him a point of reference."
"I'll do it." Zara pushed her way through the assembled
crowd and burst into the rapidly cooling evening air. The sun
would set within the hour. If the tiny fog light installed by the
first human colonists on Icarus could help Caleb get home
safely, she'd stand guard all night to keep it shining for him.
She'd do anything, anything at all but stand around and wait
The rush of air beneath his wings reminded him of his first
attempt at skydiving. He'd been terrified by the prospect of
launching himself out of an atmospheric shuttle on Juno, but
he'd heard his friends rave about the amazing view while
falling through that planet's multi-colored cloud layers.
That had been falling, he recalled. The uncontrolled decent
from such a great height had left him breathless and
exhilarated, unable to form a coherent thought.
This was different. This was flying. Higher and higher his
sentient wings had dragged him through Icarus's humid air
until the heat of the sun began to burn his naked back.
Don't melt. Don't melt. He'd thought of the ancient myth of
the man who flew too close to the sun on wings made of wax
and wondered if he would die of fright on the way down if his
symbion suddenly decided to abandon him.
It spoke to him then. For the first time a structured
thought formed in his head, and he knew it was not his own.
"We are one."
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"We are I."
Another surge of adrenaline washed through his already
pounding heart at the prospect of actual communication with
the alien that now shared his body. The chemical wave made
the wound at the back of his neck explode in fiery pain, and
again he screamed.
"Whghh—" He couldn't form words with the air buffeting
his face and rushing down his throat. Every time he opened
his mouth, he choked on the relentless wind.
"Something is missing from us."
Missing? What could be missing? "Are youghhhgh—"
Damn. Keep your mouth shut, Caleb. "Are you injured?"
"No. You are."
Realization made him shudder. Now he knew exactly what
had gone wrong.
It was his own fault. This was the chance he'd taken when
he'd agreed to the experiment.
"Can you fix it?"
"Time will heal." The symbion's thought soothed him.
That's what he'd been banking on when he applied for the
bonding. It was a gamble he'd had no right to take, but now
that the initial terror had begun to wear off, he could believe
it might have actually worked.
"Higher!"
"Noghghg!" He couldn't control the damn thing. It really
did have a mind of its own, and it wanted to soar, to roll and
dip and revel in this freedom. Pain lanced through his wings,
and for one heart-stopping, gut-churning moment, he
plummeted like a stone toward the ocean. "Whaghghhh—"He
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tried to scream then rational thought took over for a split
second. Annoyed with himself, he clamped his lips shut and
aimed a thought at his symbion. "What's wrong with us?"
"Assimilating."
His wings shot out and forward, pushing a great wave of
air beneath his body, and together they climbed.
"Doghhhg—" When would he learn not to talk while flying?
"Don't do that again!"
"How far away are we?" The research station seemed like
a distant dream, barely real. His entire world right now was
the wind and the sky and the water so very far below.
"How high are we?"
At first he thought the symbion was ignoring him, then he
understood. The creature had no frame of reference. It lived
in the air and on the water, but it had no need to measure
height or distance. Wherever it was at any given moment was
its home, therefore it didn't concern itself with how to get
"back" to anywhere. That was something he would have to
teach it. But how?
He tried mind control. After all, he was the dominant
species in this relationship. Jidar had explained that while the
symbions were willful at first, over time they became so
attuned to their host's needs and desires, they simply obeyed
all mental commands without question.
"Land." He concentrated on the word. " I want to land."
Almost immediately, the symbion wings flattened out
behind him, sending him into another terrifying nose dive.
"Not here! Not here!" There was nothing but water below
them, not even an island in sight. "Langhhh." Again he had to
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force himself to concentrate on the psychic link with his
symbion. "On land! On the ground."
Up they went again. Caleb's stomach flip flopped. His legs
flailed, and he realized his balls ached like mad.
"My God, I think my dick froze off." Tropical climate be
damned, at this altitude, it was cold. His fingers were numb,
toes too. He was afraid when he finally landed, he'd find his
gonads had fallen off.
"I'm cold."
The symbion seemed annoyed by his complaining but
began a more leisurely descent toward the water.
"No, no. We need to find an island. I want to go back to
the research station."
Up they went. Again. Caleb cursed, but then an image
formed in his brain.
The barrier island on which the research station sat came
into view in his mind's eye. He knew instinctively how far he'd
flown—an incredible distance. He also knew how long it would
take to get back. He'd be exhausted when he arrived, but it
didn't matter. He had to go back and deal with his
transformation.
He had to let Zara know he was all right.
"Fly faster," he told his symbion, and despite its own
fatigue, the creature flapped its wings harder and set a course
for what would become its new home.
[Back to Table of Contents]
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by Bernadette Gardner
Chapter Four
Sunset had turned the gently lapping ocean silver and
black and left only a faint, quickly fading smudge of pink at
the western horizon. As the last blush of daylight left the star-
filled sky, Zara's hope that Caleb would be found alive
disappeared with it.
She sat on the windswept jetty of volcanic stone, hugging
her bent knees and shivering with anxiety rather than the
cold. Ten meters above her, the brilliant halogen beacon of
the light station glowed, casting a ray of icy white light out
across the waves.
She clutched the remote control box for the beacon in her
stiff fingers. Every fifteen minutes for hours now she'd
changed the light's direction and intensity, sweeping it across
each quadrant of the horizon in hopes she'd point it in the
right place at the right time for Caleb to see it and make his
way home. She was prepared to stay here, glued to the chilly,
uneven rock on which she sat forever if need be.
The familiar snap of giant wings startled her, and she
almost dropped the beacon remote. Clasping the controller in
damp fingers, she scrambled to her feet. "Caleb?"
A shadowy figure had come to rest a few feet away on the
jetty. Immediately, Zara recognized the slim, graceful figure
of Namara, even before the Icarian matriarch spoke.
"Doctor Abbott, are you all right?"
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"Have you found Dr. Faulkner?" Zara hated sounding rude,
but she had only one concern at the moment. Pleasantries
could wait.
Namara bowed her head, and her curtain of pale hair
momentarily obscured her face. "I'm afraid not yet. I'm sorry
I don't have better news."
Zara's shoulders slumped. How far could one winged man
have gotten in a day that dozens of able-bodied searchers
couldn't locate him? "Are they still looking?"
Namara stepped closer, moving with perfect confidence
across the slippery planes of basaltic rock. She pulled open
the carrying pouch she wore slung across her naked chest
and rummaged in it for a moment. "Jidar has ordered the
search to continue to the north. He suspects Dr. Faulkner is
no longer in the air. His symbion could not have—"
"They're searching the water then, looking for his body?"
"I'm sorry. Yes." From her pouch Namara produced a
protein bar and a small pod of water, which she held out to
Zara, a feeble substitute for Caleb's safe return but a kind
gesture nevertheless. "Dr. Danson hopes you will come back
to the station and rest, but I told him it was unlikely you
would abandon your vigil."
"You're right." Zara tried to smile. She accepted Namara's
offering, realizing for the first time that her lips were dry and
stinging from the salt air. She broke the seal on the water
and sipped, cringing when the cold liquid hit the back of her
throat. "Thank you."
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Namara nodded. "Jidar has assigned me a search route,
but I can find a replacement if you would like me to stay with
you."
The starlight was bright enough that Zara could see the
concern in Namara's eyes. Jidar's mate was perhaps the only
person who fully understood Zara's devotion to her task.
She'd guessed Zara harbored more than platonic feelings
for Caleb some time ago, and though she'd only mentioned it
once, Zara knew Namara sympathized with her fear that once
transformed, Caleb would be found eligible to receive an
Icarian mate.
"I'm all right, Namara. Go and search. I'd feel better
knowing as many people were looking for him as possible."
"A symbion is dedicated to protecting its host. It will do its
best to keep him from injury."
"If it can function. You saw him, Namara. Something went
wrong with the joining. What if the symbion died or
disengaged from him? We might neve
r..." Zara clamped her
mouth shut and looked away. She knew voicing her darkest
fears would only give them more power over her raw
emotions. Speculating aloud on every terrible scenario would
not make her feel any better, especially if the Icarian female
confirmed they might be plausible.
Silent now, she transferred her attention to the beacon
remote. "It's time for me to turn the light. Thank you for
bringing me these. If you go back to the station, please tell
Dr. Danson that I'm fine. I'll return at first light after I shut
the beacon down."
"The nights on Icarus are long."
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Zara sketched a weak smile. It hurt her face. "I've got the
light to keep me company. I'll be fine."
Namara's majestic wings began to unfold behind her,
giving her the appearance of a beautiful, avenging angel. "If
you do not return to the station in the morning, I will come
back for you."
"I'll be there. I promise."
With a rush of wind, Namara leapt off the rock. Her wings
flapped, pulling her into the dark sky. In a moment she was
gone, leaving Zara alone again in her misery.
How could she drag herself back to the station in the
morning, knowing the most she could hope to find was that
Caleb's battered body had been retrieved during the night?
With a sigh, she sat back down and placed the water and
the protein bar on the rock beside her. A few simple
commands entered into the keypad on the remote had the
beacon shifting once again toward the north. Maybe the light
would guide Caleb toward the search area and make it easier
for the airborne Icarians to find him.
Exhausted by her vigil, Zara stared out to sea, praying
dawn would never come. At least if the night went on forever,
she wouldn't have to face her first day without Caleb.
A brilliant star shown on the horizon, and Caleb focused his
waning vision on the heavenly light.
"There." He tried to force his heavy eyelids to stay open
and concentrated on the distant light. "Go toward that."
His symbion seemed to have abandoned conscious
thought. It hadn't communicated with him in what seemed
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like days. With almost robotic cadence, it flapped its wings,