Red,WhiteandBeautiful
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Copyright©2013BecBotefuhr
PublishedbyBecBotefuhr,July2013
Red,WhiteandBeautifulisaworkoffiction.Allnames, characters,placesandeventsportrayedinthisbookeitherarefromthe author’simaginationorareusedfictitiously.Anysimilaritytoreal persons,livingordead,establishments,events,orlocationispurely coincidentalandnotintendedbytheauthor.Pleasedonottakeoffence tothecontent,asitisFICTION.
**Thisstoryinnowayrepresentswhatshould,could,wouldor doeshappeninregardstothisstoryline.Itismerelyafictionalstory andnoneofthecontentshouldbetakenseriously.Idon’treally believethesethingsactuallyhappennoramItryingtostatethatthey do.Itisnothingmorethanfictionandshouldbetakenasexactlythat.
Youhavebeenwarned.Thankyouforreading.**
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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Ihavealotofpeopletothank,butthatwouldjusttakeupmyentire page.SoI’mgoingtothankthosewhocometomindfirst.
ThankyoutoWendyBraggYoderfortakingthetimeouttodoa finalreadyforme.WhenmyeyeswereburningandIcouldn’tpossibly readitoncemoretime,youcameforwardanddidafinalrunthroughfor me.Thankyousoverymuch.
TothegirlsatTripleMbookclub,forbeingtheabsolutebest support.Theyhavebeenmycrazy,beautifulsupportersandhaveread everythingI’vedone,encouragingmeevenwhenIwantedtostop.You girlsaremybackbone.
ToMelodyMestricforbeingmycrazy,soulcrushingotherhalfthat knowsexactlywhattosayallthetime.ErrrNerr,you’rethetwinInever had,I’msuretheytoreusapartatbirthbecauseyou’rethesamekinda weirdIamandinweirdness,welove.
ToHollyCarterforalwaysofferingtoreadwhatIwrite,even thoughyou’vegotenoughon.Forlisteningtomyphonecallsforhours andhoursandtalkingtomeabouteverythingandanything(Yeahyou knowwhatImean).Kindredspiritsiswhatweare.
ToDawnMartensforalwayshelpingmeedit,eventhoughyou’re writingyourownbooks.Forbeingcrazy,honestandtruenomatter what.You’rethekindofpersonthatwillremainwithmeforever, becauseyou’rereal.
ToMelissaDiamondforreadingandre-readingallmywork.For textingmewithOMGandHOLYSHITjusttoletmeknowyou’re feelin’whatI’mwriting.You’reamazingandyouknowIloveyou.
Sotoalltheabove,onedayI’llpashallofyou!!
PROLOGUE
MARCUS
Goddammit.Goddammit.HowcouldIletthishappen?Howthe fuckcouldIletherfindoutaboutallthis,andinthatway?Shedidn’t deservethat.Shedidn’tdeservetohearaboutmehiringherafter knowingshehadbeenabused.Shedidn’tdeservetohearmesayingI wantedtoprotectafiancéIdon’tevenlikerightnow.Whatthefuckis wrongwithme?Whythefuckdidn’tIjusttellChaynetogetoutand keepSierrawithme,safe,inmyarms?Sheworkedherassofftryingto helpmeandIthrewitbackinherface.Goddammit.Islammyfistdown ontothehardwoodendesk,cursingloudlyasIpacetheroom.Fuck Chayneandherbullshitgames,fuckthewholesituation.OnlyIcouldget myselftangledupinthismess,Idon’tfuckingthink,Ijustdo.That’smy goddamnedproblem.
“Sir,areyouok?”
IturntoseeRosestandingatthedoorlookingweary,asifshe doesn’twanttostepfurtherin,justincaseIsnapather.It’sprobably smartreally,becauserightnowIprobablywould.
“I’mfine,”Ibark,thenclosemyeyes.FuckitMarcus,thisisn’ther fault.Stopbeinganass.“SorryRose,I’mfine.”
“Chaynewentstormingout;Ithoughtperhapssomethingwas wrong.”
“FuckChayne.”
“Issomethinggoingonbetweenthetwoofyou?Where’sSierra?”
“Shequit,”Isaygruffly,grippingthesideofthedeskwithmyhand andsqueezinguntilithurts.
LieMarcus,don’tletherknowwhatwenton.Thisisyourjob.Your career.Notonlythat,it’sSierra’sfuturethatcouldgotoshit,somake somethingup.
“Shehadfamilyproblems.”
“Oh,that’sterrible.ShallIfindanotherassistant?”
Fuck.“Yeah,thatwouldbegood.”
“Youhaveameetingintenminutes,wouldyoulikemetocancelit?”
“No,”Isay,takingadeepbreathandpickingupmybriefcase.“I havetoattendthisone.”
“Oksir,ifthere’sanythingyouneed,justcall.”
“ThanksRose.”
Whensheleaves,Istareatthedoor.Itryhardtoignorethesharp, stabbingpaininmyheartbecauseIdon’twanttothinkaboutwhatSierra isdoingrightnow.Idon’twanttothinkaboutherhurtface,orthetears thatmightbestaininghercheeks.Idon’twanttothinkaboutanyofit, andyetIcan’tshakeitfrommyhead.Ifuckedup.Pureandsimple.I don’tknowhowtofixit,allIknow,isthatrightnowIhavetogeton withmyday.That’sthejobI’min,sadly.Idon’tgettostop,nomatter whatlifethrowsatme.Perhapsit’sagoodthing,becauseifIstop…I mightactuallybreak.Andbreakingisnotanoption.
Notnow.
Notever.
CHAPTER1
SIERRA
“Right,that’sit!Getyoursorryassoutofthisbed,beforeIputmy footupit.”
Igrumbleandslapmypillowatthesoundofmybestfriend, Quinn’s,voice.HegripsthecottonblanketsI’vesoperfectlywrapped aroundmeandyanksthemback,exposingmyskintothecold,chillyair.
Icurseathimandrollfrommystomach,tomyback.Throughbleary eyes,Iglareupathim.Hesmiles,atrulydazzlingfeaturetohisface,and thenleansdownandgripsmywrist.Don’teventhinkaboutitQuinn,do not…hedoes.HepullsmesohardIslideoutofbedandlandwitha thumponthefloor.JesusChrist,hedoesn’tdothingsinhalfmeasures, themanisagoddamnedmachine.Imakealoudgrowlingsoundandhuff loudly.Dammit,thathurt.
“Quinn!”Icry,gettingtomykneesandrubbingmysorebackside.
Hethrowshishandsonhishipsandglaresdownatme,hiseyes narrowedwithdetermination.Great.AdeterminedQuinnissomething youdon’tchallenge.“Youarenotspendinganotherdayinthisbed,Sierra Walters,Iwon’thaveit.Sowhat,yougotdumped…”
“Ididnotgetdumped,”Isay,cuttinghimoff.Ihatethatword,I trulydo.Dumped.It’shorrible.“Ileft.”
“Whatever.Eitherway,you’regettingoutofthisdamnedbedand
gettingonwithyourlife.Apieceofassisreallynotenoughtohaveyou mopinginbedalldaylong.Getoverit,moveon,andgetsomedamn sunshine,youlooklikeafreakin’zombie.”
Icrossmyarmsandgivehimanamusedexpression.“Azombie, Quinn?Really?”
“Seriously,Icansmellbitsofyourskinrottingoff.”Hesays laughing.
“Ishowered!”Iprotest,gettingtomyfeetwithagroan.Goddammit, ontopofmysad,tiredbody,myassisnowsore.
“Well,forgoodmeasure,you’regoingtoshoweragainandthen we’regoingoutforbreakfast.Andyouaregoingtotellmewhatthehell happenedbetweenyouandhotstuff.”
“Don’tcallhimthat,he’sanass,”Igrumble,attemptingtorunmy fingersthroughthemassofknotsthatusedtobemyhair.
“Anassthathadyouhauledupinbedforfivedays.”
Igivehimasourlook.“Allright,genius,pointtaken.I’llshower.”
“That’smygirl,”hecoo’s,chuckingmeunderthechin.
Igivehimanothersourexpression,thenjerkmyheadwhena thoughtcomestomind.Thisisgood,consideringI’veblockedall thoughtsforthepastfivedays.It’seasierthatway.Right?“Hey,didyou talktotheprofessoraboutfillingthepositionasMarcus’PA?”
Quinnnods,hiseyessoftenjustatouch.“Yeah,theyputatempin.”
MystomachclencheswhenIthinkofanotherwomanworkingwith Marcus.ItclenchesevenmorewhenIthinkabouttheaffectthiscould haveonmyoverallscoresfortheyear.“DoyouthinkI’llgetbadscores forthis?”
Heshakeshishead.“Noway,itwasjustagoodopportunity,notan essentialpartofyourstudy.Speakingofstudying,youreallyneedtoget yourassbackintoit.”
“Yes,yes,”Isay,wavingmyhand.“Iknow.”
“Well,first,you’regoingtoshowerandwe’regoingout.”
“Wellgetcrackin’,we’vegotlotstotalkabout,”hesays,clapping hishandsloudly.
“Aye,boss.”Imurmurbeforewalkingintotheshower.
Thiscouldbealongday.
~*~*~*~*~
SIERRA
OnceI’mshoweredanddressed,Quinndragsmeouttoourlocal coffeeshop.Wetakeaseatandpeeratourmenus.Ireallyhaven’tbeen outinthelastfivedaysanditfeelsalittlestrangenow,butIknowQuinn isright,IhavetomoveonfromMarcus.I’mtryingto.I’mtryingto acceptheneverwantedmeformorethanaquesttogetmetotrusthim andsubmit.Iknowthis,butitdoesn’tmeanitdoesn’thurt.Itdoeshurt.
Everyday.BecauseIfellinlovewithhim,andthat’snotsomethingI giveeasily.Ifeelbetrayedintheworstpossibleway,andaddingChayne ontopjustmakesitawholelotworse.Idon’tunderstandwhyheprotects her,perhapsIneverwill,becausemaybeI’llneverfindsomeoneIcare about,asmuchashecaredabouther.ThoughI’mfairlysureIcareabout himthatmuch,maybehejustcan’tseeit.OrmaybeIjustdon’tknow love,andI’mlivinginafantasy.Yes,thatworks.
“So,hewouldn’tbusthisfiancéforcheatingtogetridofher?”
QuinnsaysandIsnapmyheadup,swallowingandthennodding.
“That’saboutit.”
Ididn’tbothertellingQuinnthatMarcushadfoundoutaboutwhat Bendidtomeandpickedmebecausehefeltlikeanewsubmissive.
ThereareonlysomanythingsQuinnneedstoknowaboutmeandthatis notoneofthem.Hewouldn’tunderstandanyway.Heck,Idon’teven understand,sohowcanIexpectanyoneelseto?
“Doyouthinkhestilllovesher?”
Ishrug,twirlingastrandofhairaroundmyfinger.That’saquestion I’verefusedtoallowmyselftothinkabout.Idon’twanttothinkthathe protectedherbecausepartofhimisstillinlovewithher.IfIthinkabout that,Iwon’tcomebackfromit.So,IjustgiveQuinnastockanswer.“I don’thonestlyknow.”
“Ithinkhe’sscaredaboutwhatwillhappenifhetakesthatfinalstep, youknow?Yourunningoutwouldn’thavehelpedmakeuphismind.”
IgiveQuinnasourlook.“Oh,soit’smyfaultnow?”
Quinnraiseshisbrows.“Neversaiditwasyourfault,honey.Isaid yourunningwouldn’thavegivenhimmuchreasontothinkyouwould stay.”
“Iknowthat,ok?”Isigh,puttingmyheadinmyhands.Ilovehow QuinncanmakemefeelbadaboutsomethingthatIdidn’tdo.
“Hashetriedtocall?”
“Idon’tknow,Ihaven’tcheckedmyphone.”
“Doyouwanttoseehimagain?”
IgiveQuinntheeye.“Whyallthequestions?”
“I’mtryingtofigureoutwhatyoucando.”
“Idon’tknowwhattodo,Quinn.Ijusthavetoleaveitandletitgo.”
“Isthatwhatyouwant?”
Ithrowmyhandsupandsnap,“Ofcourseit’snot,Quinn,butwhat elsecanIdo?”
“Talktohim?”hesays,rollinghiseyesasifthatanswerwasso horriblyobvious.
“Ican’ttalktohim,”Isay,crossingmyarmsandrubbingmyhands togetheranxiously.
Quinnsighsloudly.“Sometimeswoman,I’msureyou’remore immaturethanafifteenyearoldgirl.”
“Goodlord,”Isay,thenburstoutintoafitofgiggles.
Quinnfollows,unabletocontainhisamusement.Whenthewaiter stopsbythetable,Ismothermygigglesandturntohim.Goditfeels goodtolaugh.Itfeelsgoodtodoanythingelsebutmopeandcry.
“WhatcanIgetyouboth?”heasks,lettinghiseyestravelbetween thetwoofuswithconfusionandalittleamusement.
“I’llhavetheeggsbenedictandacoffeeplease,”Ismile,handing himthemenu.
“Samehere.”
Thewaitersmilesatusandthenwalksoff.Quinnturnsbacktome, hisfaceisalittlemoreseriousthistime.
“Iknowwhereyoucanseehim,totalk.”
Ifeelmyeyeswiden.“IhaveaphoneifIfeeltheneedtohavemy heartrippedoutagain.”
“That’snotthewaytogoaboutthis,youneedtoseehim.”
“WhatforQuinn?Hedoesn’twantme.Hemadethatclearby choosingher.”
“Hedidn’treallychooseher,”Quinnsayssoftly,daringtomeetmy eyeswithhis.
“Iknow,but,Ishouldhavenevergonethereinthefirstplace.Thisis forthebest.”
“Doyoulovehim,Sierra?”
IfeelmyeyeswellwithtearsandIstruggletoswallowthelumpin mythroat.“Yes,Ido.”
“Thenyouoweittoyourselftoeitherenditproperlyorworkitout.”
Iclosemyeyesamoment,Iknowhe’sright.IknowIneedtotalk withMarcus,atleasttofinishthisforgood,buttheideaofseeinghim againburnsme.Theideaoflookingintothosedeepbrowneyesand seeingtheconflictinthem,hasmewoundupinside.WhatifMarcushas alreadymovedonwithChayne?CanIdealwiththat?CanIdealwith knowingforsurethathechoseher?Orwhatifhewantsmeback?CanI dealwithgoingbackandfeelinglikeIalwayscomesecondtoawoman whodoesn’tevencareabouthim?Theanswersareblurryandthe questionsareharsh,Idon’tknowifIcandealwitheitherofthem,butI knowIhaveto.
“OkQuinn,”Isayinasmallvoice.“I’lltalktohimandfigurethis out.”
“Tonightthere’sadinnerforthesponsorsoftheuniversity.He’sone ofthem,sohe’llbethere.Allstudentsinthestudentcouncilareableto come,thatincludesmeandyou.Sowe’regoing.”
Inod,swallowing.TheideaofseeingMarcusagainistestingevery strengthinsideme,butI’mnotgoingtospendtherestoftheyear wallowingbecauseIlostanopportunityandfellinlove.Whenthewaiter bringsourfood,QuinnandIeatinsilence,bothofusarecontemplating howtheeveningwillgo.WillMarcusevenspeaktome?Willheorder metoleaveorrubChayneinmyface?Ireallydon’tknow,andtheidea ofnotknow
ingbothersme.Whatiftheentirestudentbodyfiguresout whathappenedbetweenus?Whatifhemakesascene?God,somany thingscouldgowrong.
“Areyousurethisisagoodidea?”IsaytoQuinn.
Hiseyesscanmyface.“Ithinkso.Youneedtofixthisorendit, Sierra.Eitherway,ithastobedoneoryou’regoingtofailallyourexams andlosesomethingyou’veworkedhardfor.You’relettinghimgetto you,andIunderstandwhy,butyouhavetoletitgo.Maybehe’lltakeyou back,andyou’llbehappyagain.Eitherway,ithastobedoneforyour sake,nothis.Youcandothis,you’resomuchstrongerthanthis.Iwillbe therewithyou,ok?Ipromise.”
Inod,swallowing.“Thankyou,Quinn.”
“Anytime.Now,let’sgoshoppingandgetyousomethingdeadsexy towear.”
Ismile,Ican’thelpit.Quinnlovesshoppinganditwillbegoodto dosomethingdifferent.“Ok.”
Hereachesacrossthetableandtakesmyhand,rubbinghisfinger overmypalms.“You’reabravegirl.IknowI’vepushedyouandmade youfacethisbutIamreallyproudofyou,Sierra.Youhaven’tbroken downoractedcrazy.You’reanamazinggirlandIthinkyou’redoingthe rightthing.”
Inod,swallowingandbitingmylowerlip.Quinnsmilesand squeezesmyhand.
“Thankyou,”Iwhisper,meetinghisgaze.
“Anytime,honey,anytime.”
“Well,”Isay,diggingintomybreakfast.“Let’sfinisheatingsowe cangoshopping.”
Quinn’sbeamingsmilelightensmymood.Likeitalwaysdoes.
“That’smygirl.”
Well,fingerscrossedthisgoeswell.
CHAPTER2
MARCUS
“Sir,yoursuitisready.”
IlookupfrommydeskandseeRosestandingatthedoor,holdinga perfectlypressedsuit.Inodather,andshewalksin,hangingitonacoat hook.
“Isthereanythingelse?”sheasks.
“No,thanksRose.”