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    Uncle John's Endlessly Engrossing Bathroom Reader

    Page 2
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      TWUNGE TISTERS

      THE INVENTIONS OF PROFESSOR LUCIFER GORGONZOLA BUTTS

      A MAN CALLED RUBE

      THE GOLDBERG VARIATIONS

      THE “AUTOMATIC” BACK-SCRATCHER

      GETTING AN OLIVE OUT OF A BOTTLE

      SHARPENING A PENCIL

      UNHEARD ALBUMS

      MC HAMMER, TOO TIGHT

      PRINCE & THE REVOLUTION, DREAM FACTORY

      NEIL YOUNG, HOMEGROWN

      BEASTIE BOYS, WHITE HOUSE

      CRUNCHY LOGGS

      USED COWS FOR SALE

      Q&A: ASK THE EXPERTS

      WRONG TURN AT ALBUQUERQUE?

      FOR LOVE OF THE GAME

      THE YELLOW RIVER GOT ITS NAME FROM I.P. FREELY

      HAIR IT IS

      HAIR IT ISN’T

      CHECK IT OUT

      IT’S A WEIRD, WEIRD WORLD

      WON’T GIVE YOU THE TIME OF DAY

      WITH FRIENDS LIKE THESE…

      AT LEAST HE CAN’T COMPLAIN ABOUT THE NOISE

      GET YOUR GOAT

      END OF THE ROAD

      THE GREAT RACE, PART II

      ENTLEMEN, RESTART YOUR ENGINES

      HUMAN OBSTACLES

      ITALIAN TRAGEDY

      AND THE WINNER IS…

      A NEW ERA BEGINS

      POSTSCRIPT

      “ALWAYS”…OR “NEVER”?

      HOBBS STRIKES OUT

      THE NATURAL (1984)

      PRETTY WOMAN (1990)

      CLERKS (1994)

      FIRST BLOOD (1982)

      THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY (1998)

      TOILET TECH: BABY EDITION

      THE BABYKEEPER

      THE TUMMYTUB

      THE NITE TRAIN’R

      THE WEEBLOCK

      3-D TV

      HELP ME, OBI-WAN!

      STEREOSCOPE 3-D

      RED-GREEN ANAGLYPH

      POLARIZED-LENS 3-D

      PULFRICH-EFFECT 3-D

      COLORCODE (AMBER-BLUE ANAGLYPH)

      3-D TV WITHOUT GLASSES?

      HOLOGRAPHIC TV

      UNCLE JOHN HELPS OUT AROUND THE HOUSE

      INDIANA BASKETBALL: THE CRISPUS ATTUCKS TIGERS

      COLOR LINE

      BEST BEHAVIOR

      NEW ATTITUDE

      THE BIG TIME

      NEVER AGAIN

      THE FAKE NEWS NETWORK

      BROADCAST BLUES

      FROM THE WIRE

      MONEY FOR NOTHIN’

      IS THIS EVEN LEGAL?

      THE NEWS-VERTISING AGE

      URBAN LEGENDS

      GARDY LOO!

      WOULD YOU BELIEVE…

      UNCLE JOHN’S PAGE OF LISTS

      TRADING PAINT & SPRING RUBBER

      BEHIND THE (MOB) HITS

      ARNOLD “THE BRAIN” ROTHSTEIN

      ARTHUR “DUTCH SCHULTZ” FLEGENHEIMER

      “JOE THE BOSS” MASSERIA

      JOSEPH “CRAZY JOEY” GALLO

      LITTLE THINGS MEAN A LOT

      ONE INCH

      A DATA-ENTRY ERROR

      A MOIST SENSOR

      A SOFTWARE GLITCH

      A KEY AND A PAIR OF BINOCULARS

      DYING WORDS

      USE IT OR LOSE IT

      THE CADUCITY LIST

      BATHROOM NEWS

      SEAT-SEEKING MISSILE

      DEARLY DE-POTTED

      RING AROUND THE DRAIN

      TASTELESS TOYS

      TAP, TAP, TAP!

      BACKGROUND

      GRIP

      SPOKESTHINGIES

      MAVIS BEACON

      THE GEICO CAVEMEN

      THE NAUGA

      JACK

      MEET HITLER’S DOCTOR

      STRANGE BEDFELLOWS

      DOC MEDIOC–RITY

      “MADE” IN BULGARIA

      PRIMARY PHYSICIAN

      HEAVEN SCENT

      TAKE THIS…AND THIS…AND THIS

      THE ONE-TWO PUNCH

      DER GUINEA PIG

      THE PLOT THICKENS

      VERY QUIZ-LIKE

      THE PROVERBIAL TRUTH

      IT (PROBABLY) WON’T KILL YOU TO EAT…

      IRONIC, ISN’T IT?

      DE-PROGRAMMED

      WIPING THE SLATE CLEAN

      FAMILY ISSUES

      STONE COLD DEAD

      KURBY AND KRYSTAL GO TO WHITE CASTLE

      SWEET IRONY

      CUTTING REMARK

      HAMBURGLAR

      ADVENTUROUS SPIRITS

      DUMB CROOKS: SILLY WEAPONS UNIT

      THE POTTY POLLS, PT. II

      YOUR TOOTHBRUSH AND YOU

      CLEANLINESS IS NEXT TO…IMPOSSIBLE

      IN THE SHOWER

      GOING GREEN

      AROUND THE WORLD

      ROCK ’N’ ROLL DIARY

      CLASS ACTS

      THE CORVETTE HITS THE ROAD

      THE PARTS BIN SPECIAL

      BELLE OF THE BALL

      READY OR NOT

      START YOUR ENGINES

      CORVETTE EMPTOR

      NO LOCKOUTS

      (FIBER)GLASS HOUSES

      THANKS…BUT NO THANKS

      THUNDERSTRUCK

      CAN’T QUIT NOW

      RUSSELL’S RUMINATIONS

      SAME CO.

      WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION

      BLACKWATER WORLDWIDE

      PHILLIP MORRIS

      DIEBOLD

      GMAC FINANCIAL SERVICES

      THE HISTORY OF JUDO

      NINETY-POUND WEAKLING

      JU-JISTORY

      I GENTLE YOU TO DEATH!

      RANK AND RE-FILE

      BELT HIM!

      POLI-TALKS

      RANDOM ORIGINS

      LICENSE PLATES

      THE INFINITY SYMBOL

      THE PERIODIC TABLE OF ELEMENTS

      THE TAPE MEASURE

      SUDOKU

      PSEUDOCIDAL TENDENCIES

      DECENT PROPOSALS

      THE SOCIETY FOR THE COALITION OF ORGANIZATIONS AND ASSOCIATIONS

      MOMENTS OF CANDOR

      (NOT) COMING TO A THEATER NEAR YOU

      BATMAN: YEAR ONE (2003)

      AMERICAN IDIOT (2006)

      KING KONG VS. FRANKENSTEIN (1962)

      STRAWBERRY FIELDS FOREVER (1987)

      THE 50TH STATE

      BACKGROUND

      A REAL-LIFE GHOST STORY, PART II

      WHO’S THERE?

      FROM BED TO WORSE

      YOU ARE NOT ALONE

      SOMETHING IN THE AIR

      WHAT’S UP, DOC?

      DÉJÀ VIEW

      THE FIRST AMERICAN…

      PENITENTIARY

      NATIVE-BORN GORILLA

      BOOK

      CRICKET MATCH

      BABY BOOM

      WINE

      KOREAN

      PUBLICLY FUNDED ART PROJECT

      …CAR RACE

      WHY ARE THEY CALLED “GREEN HORN S” ?

      PORTA-NEWS

      TANGLED UP IN EWW!

      SHOW SOME RESPECT

      NOWHERE TO RUN, NOWHERE TO HIDE

      THE MAN WHO WOULD NOT DIE

      THE NEFARIOUS SCHEME

      A TOUGH CONSTITUTION

      HE LIVES!

      CAUGHT!

      OOPS!

      THE TWEETER AND THE BRANCH

      GET A GRIP

      ARREST ME, WILL YOU? BWA HA HA HA!

      CELLO WHAT?

      LETTER TO THE EDITOR

      HEADING SOUTH

      BODY OF EVIDENCE

      OH, NUTS

      LIFE IMITATES ART

      ENGLAND’S ROSWELL

      (SOMEWHAT) CLOSE ENCOUNTER

      MAKING AN IMPRESSION

      DÉJÀ VIEW

      WITH THEIR OWN EYES

      ON PAPER

      EXTRAORDINARY

      PRIMETIME PROVERBS

      ON TRUTH

      ON ADVERTISING

      ON CHURCH

      ON DISAPPOINTMENT

      ON PAIN

      ON BEING YOURSELF

      ON ART

      ON INTELLIGENCE

      ON TELEVISION

      ON GOING TO WORK

      ON CRIMINAL JUSTICE

      ON EGO

      ON BELIEF

      OLD TWO-TOES

    &nb
    sp; BEAR THIS IN MIND

      GRAHAM CRACKER

      WELSH RAREBIT

      FRENCH FRY

      EXERCISE YOUR BRAIN

      THE DIGITAL CAMERA REVOLUTION, PART III

      JUST POINT…AND SHOOT!

      PROUD PAPA

      A WORLD OF PAPARAZZI

      OVERSATURATION

      EYES OF THE WORLD

      THEME CRUISE

      WEST COAST GROOVE CRUISE

      SEPTEMBER MORN CRUISE

      CLOTHING-OPTIONAL HOMECOMING CRUISE

      FRIENDS OF ABBOTT AND COSTELLO

      SPYCRUISE

      MOTORCYCLE CRUISE

      THE BEST OF PUBLIC BROADCASTING CRUISE

      STAR TREK ADVENTURE CRUISE

      BEHIND THE HITS

      THE NEW INDIAN WARS

      RESURGENCE

      BLIND SPEED DEMONS

      KEN MOSS (Automobile—solo)

      MIKE NEWMAN (Automobile—solo)

      LUC COSTERMANS (Automobile)

      STEVE CUNNINGHAM (Speedboat)

      BILLY “THE WHIZZ” BAXTER (Motorcycle—solo)

      GRAHAM “G-FORCE” HICKS (All-Terrain Vehicle)

      READ YOUR MOLE-O-SCOPE

      YOUR LEGS AND FEET

      YOUR HANDS AND ARMS

      THE PANTS SUIT

      SUITING UP

      A PRESSING MATTER

      CLASSLESS ACTION

      ALL RISE

      JUDGING THE JUDGE

      THE VERDICT

      AFTERMATH

      CAUTION: SLOW CHILDREN

      SHE’S GOT GAME

      ON A ROLL

      WATERING HOLE

      MO MONEY, MO PROBLEMS

      THE WORLD’S WORST ACCIDENT

      RADIOACTIVE WIND

      DON’T PANIC!

      NUCLEAR POWER 101

      CONTROL FREAKS

      THE CHINA SYNDROME

      COOL IT

      WHAT NOT TO DO

      UH-OH…

      THE BATTLE OF CHERNOBYL

      THE PEACEFUL ATOM?

      LOST CONTINENT

      PLATO’S RETREAT

      BANANA FLOAT

      STEINER’S WAY

      MUCKING ABOUT

      SO, WHERE IS IT?

      THE NATURAL GAS REPORT

      BOMBED OUT

      AIR APPARENT

      A FINE EXAMPLE

      LAW AND ODOR

      AMAZING COINCIDENCES

      CELEBRITY GOSSIP

      LEC BALDWIN

      BOB DYLAN

      JENNIFER ANISTON

      SARAH JESSICA PARKER

      MICK JAGGER

      KEVIN BACON

      KATHARINE HEPBURN

      LINDSAY LOHAN

      BRAD PITT

      ALEX TREBEK

      GREED: THE LOST MASTERPIECE

      THE GERMAN INVASION

      ARTISTIC VISION

      KEEPING IT REAL

      A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT

      BIG BUSINESS

      CUT IT OUT

      REEL TRAGEDY

      IN PIECES

      INDIANA BASKETBALL: OSCAR ROBERTSON

      THE CHANGING OF THE GUARD

      THAT CHAMPIONSHIP SEASON

      ROLLING THUNDER

      THE REAL HOOSIERS

      OVERTIME

      GOURMET FOOD: HUMBLE ORIGINS

      LOBSTER

      FOIE GRAS

      OYSTERS

      SNAILS

      THE MARK OF ZORA

      SKIN DEEP

      DREAM JOB

      A TOUGH FIT

      THE RIGHT MAN FOR THE JOB

      ONE STEP AT A TIME

      A RACY REPUTATION

      THE “OLD GLORY” STORY

      YOUNG GLORY

      FLAG OF OUR ENEMIES

      OLD BLANKETY

      FAKE-LORE

      MORE COMMONLY MISUSED WORDS

      RANDOM BITS ON ’90s HITS

      THE PORTMANTEAU MOVIE QUIZ

      DER FARTENFÜHRER, PT. III

      BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD

      GOOOOOOOOOD MORNING!

      THANK YOU SIR, MAY I HAVE ANOTHER

      THE DRUG CULTURE

      SIDE EFFECTS

      NO SURRENDER

      MIND…AND BODY

      SO LONG

      LAST GASP

      PHRASE ORIGINS

      DRAWING ROOM

      JERKWATER TOWN

      BEAR HUG

      IT’S A WEIRD, WEIRD CRIME

      IF CONVICTED, HE WILL A-PEEL

      BED RIDDEN

      SMALL CRIMES DIVISION

      KIDNEY REMOVAL

      GETTING TANKED

      STOOL SAMPLE

      SEE YOU LATER, NAVIGATOR

      BATTLE FOR POSITION

      LOST AND FOUND

      COUNTERATTACK

      REGROUP AND TRY AGAIN

      SORE WINNERS

      THE NEW DEAL

      CRASH AND BURN

      STING OF THE STING RAY

      BORN AGAIN

      HIGH WATERMARK

      HARLEY’S GHOST

      MIDDLEMAN

      FROM A LEMON, LEMONADE

      SHARK ATTACK

      LOSING ITS STING

      DROP IN FOR A VISIT SOMETIME

      TALES FROM THE MORGUE

      SURF’S UP!

      HE’E NALU

      WALKING ON WATER

      WIPEOUT

      CALIFORNIA DREAMIN’

      BUSTIN’ SURFBOARDS

      WAVE GOODBYE

      RANDOM FACTS

      THE PHYSICS OF SURFING

      CATCH A WAVE

      GET ON BOARD

      HOW TO TELL IF YOU’VE BEEN ABDUCTED BY ALIENS

      AT BEDTIME

      ON THE ROAD

      DURING THE DAY

      PHYSICAL CHANGES

      WHAT’S UP, DOC?

      AFTER THE FACT

      …DON’T LEAVE EARTH WITHOUT IT

      THE LIFE AND TIMES OF JAR JAR BINKS

      WE WAITED FOR THIS?

      SUPPORTING CAST

      A STAR IS TORN

      THE FILMMAKERS STRIKE BACK

      DEMOTED

      ATTACK OF THE CLOWNS

      A JARRING FUTURE

      THE BROTHERS ROCKEFELLER

      WITH GREAT POWER…

      SON #1: JOHN D. ROCKEFELLER III (1906–78)

      SON #2: NELSON ALDRICH ROCKEFELLER (1908–79)

      SON #3: LAURANCE S. ROCKEFELLER (1910–2004)

      SON #4: WINTHROP ROCKEFELLER (1912–73)

      SON #5: DAVID ROCKEFELLER (1915–)

      NET GAINS AND LOSSES

      URBAN WILDLIFE

      CROWDED HOUSE

      THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD

      OPTIONS

      BIG CRITTERS

      YOUR OWN NATURAL WILDERNESS AREA

      OPPORTUNISTS

      RANDOM BITS ON 2000s HITS

      BELTS

      GROANERS

      RETURN TO CHERNOBYL

      MELTDOWN!

      SILENT SPRING

      OPPOSING VIEWS

      NOBODY WINS

      THE BALLOON MAN

      FROM DEPRESSION TO INFLATION

      ESCAPING TO HIS LAB

      AIR HEAD

      BALLOONS FROM THE BUTCHER

      A CAT KISS FOR LUCK

      FOOTNOTE TO OBSCURITY

      TALK TO THE BONES

      BIOGRAPHY OF THE BONES

      MEASURING THE PAST

      PLANE SPEAKER

      FACES AND PLACES

      A NEW ERA

      ENGLAND’S ROSWELL, PART II

      NOT SO FAST

      DUMB YANKEES

      LARGER THAN (EXTRATERRESTRIAL) LIFE

      SHINING A LIGHT ON THINGS

      THE SKEPTIC

      SEEING IS BELIEVING

      MUCH ADO ABOUT…

      BLIND DATE

      A LIKELY STORY

      “THE MAINTENANCE OF WORLD PEACE”

      TALL TALES OF THE TOTEM POLE

      HISTORY’S MYTH-STORIES

      MYTHS AND ORIGINS

      MINE’S BETTER THAN YOURS

      THE FIGURES

      SHAME ON YOU

      ARTISTS AND THEIR TOOLS

      TOTEM PRESERVATION

      REACHING HIGHER

      WHO’S LOW MAN ON T
    HE TOTEM POLE?

      FOLLOWING PROTOCOL

      INTERNATIONAL INCIDENTS

      WE’RE ON A MISSION

      MANAGING THE WORLD’S MOST EXCLUSIVE HOTEL

      THE GIFT UNIT

      A BARREL OF GAFFES

      THE DIGITAL CAMERA REVOLUTION, PART IV

      THE DIGITAL DARKROOM

      THE PHOTOSHOP EFFECT

      PRESSED

      A WHOLE LOT OF NOTHING

     


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