“Eomma,” he says, “I made a wish!”
She smiles. “What did you wish for?”
“That hyeong will like me, that he’ll want to play with me when I finally meet him.”
The mother holds back the tears that rise unbidden to her eyes. “Of course,” she says. “I know Jaewon will love you.”
* * *
■ ■ ■
In the sky above Neo Seoul, there’s a boy, falling.
And there’s a girl reaching for him with the extended arms of a God Machine.
She catches him gently in the palms of her GM’s hands, bringing the cradled hands of the machine near to its chest so that when it opens, he’s right there, waiting for her. She jumps through the air, landing beside him. “Jaewon-ah!” she shouts, taking the boy into her arms. “You’re alive! What were you thinking? How could you just jump like that? When you were the one who tried to stop me from jumping off the Tower!”
“It’s a little different,” he says, feeling a little dazed from the fall, and from the way he feels in her arms — safe.
She scowls. “How so?”
“I knew you would catch me.” The boy grins a lopsided grin.
The girl can’t tell if it makes her more furious or more overjoyed; all she knows is that it makes her heart race.
His grin grows wider. “I heard what you said, you know.”
The girl frowns to hide the sudden blush in her cheeks. “It’s easier to speak of love when you think the person you love is lost to you forever.”
He thinks of making a joke about leaving, but her lips are trembling, and he thinks maybe he can save the jokes for a different time.
“I’m sorry I took so long to get to you,” he says softly.
She nods. “But you did get to me.”
“Yes. I tried really hard.”
“Did you?”
“I needed to get to my girl.”
“Is that all I am? A girl?”
“Yes,” he teases. “That’s all you are.”
She frowns again and he laughs at her annoyance. He likes this vulnerable side of her.
His body hurts all over, but it doesn’t stop him from sitting up. He takes her face in his hands. “You’re just a girl. A girl I think I’m falling in love with.”
“You think?”
He brings her face closer to his. “How do I show you how I feel?” he whispers against her lips. “How do I show you how much you mean to me?” Softly, he kisses her. He thinks, with growing wonder, that it’s a different feeling to kiss someone you love.
He hurts everywhere, his wrists, his stomach, his legs. But it’s like the pain leaves with her kiss, replaced by something stronger, something that burns within him. He moves one hand to the back of her head, drawing her closer. He’s so desperate to show her how he feels that when he finally ends the kiss, they’re both breathless.
She stares at him, at his boyish, dazed smile and bruised lips. She feels a little stunned. She doesn’t think anything could make this moment better than it already is.
“I love you,” he says.
* * *
■ ■ ■
My father used to say that the way he loved me was the same way he loved his country, a fierce pride that couldn’t be contained, and for a long time I couldn’t understand that, and maybe I still don’t understand.
All I know is that I love Tera. It’s a knowing that in one person I have peace and home and family. If this is how my father felt about his country, then it must be something to fight for.
Tera squeezes my hand. Together we’ll fly to Oh Kangto’s battleship in the sky, and maybe for a little while, we’ll be safe.
* * *
■ ■ ■
Love is a country. It’s vast and endless and full of an unbreakable hope.
Maybe this love is a love that’s worth dying for, I don’t know. All I know is that it’s worth living for, again and again.
GLOSSARY
annyeong: hello
appa: father (informal)
ajumma/ajumeoni: a middle-aged woman/formal address
ajeossi: a middle-aged man
Apgujeong: an area of Gangnam, Neo Seoul; location of Jaewon’s military academy
banmal: informal language used when speaking to close friends or children, denotes familiarity; when addressing another person, the informal ending is: -ah/-yah
Banpo Bridge or Banpodaegyo: a major bridge over the Han River
Busan: a city located on the southeastern tip of the Korean peninsula
chaebol: a business conglomerate
daebak: jackpot (informal)
dojang: a formal training hall for martial arts
Gangnam: a district of Neo Seoul; location of the Tower
geojinmal: a lie, a “false word”
geonbae: “cheers”
Incheon: a city located on the northwestern part of the Korean peninsula
jasik: rascal
jondaenmal: formal language used when speaking to elders or strangers, denotes respect; when addressing another person, the formal ending is: -ssi
jjajeungna: annoyed, irritated
halmeoni: grandmother
hanbok: a traditional Korean article of clothing
hangeul: Korean alphabet
Hapjeong: a neighborhood of Mapo, Old Seoul; location of Jaewon’s apartment
harabeoji: grandfather
Hongdae: a region of Old Seoul, near Hongik University; gang turf for the Seven Kings
hyeong/hyeongnim: older brother; males use to address older males/formal
kkangpae: a gangster
manhwa: comic books
Mapo: a district of Old Seoul
Mount Baekdu or Baekdusan: a mountain on the Korean peninsula, shares a border with China
mugunghwa: Hibiscus syriacus; the national flower of current-day South Korea
muk-jji-ppa: a variation of the rock-paper-scissors game
Neo Seoul: the capital of the Neo State of Korea, south of the Han River
nuna/nunim: older sister; males use to address older females/formal
noraebang: a song room, a private room for karaoke
Old Seoul: north of the Han River, northern half of present-day Seoul
odeng: a fish cake
oppa: older brother; females use to address older males
ramyeon: instant noodles
saekki: curse word
saturi: dialect; for example, “Busan saturi” means “Busan dialect”
seonbae: upperclassman
sinsegye: new world
soju: an alcoholic beverage
taegeuk: symbol on the present-day South Korean flag
eomma: mother (informal)
won: the currency of present-day South Korea
Acknowledgments
To my editor, Stacy Whitman: I could have not asked for a more perfect editor for Rebel Seoul. Thank you so much for your enthusiasm for this story and its characters. Because of you, this book is the best possible version of itself. 고마워요. Thank you to marketing geniuses, Hannah Ehrlich and Jalissa Corrie, as well as to my brilliant copyeditors, Shveta Thakrar and Yeojoo Lim. To Lee & Low and the rest of the Tu Books team: it was an honor to receive the New Visions Award and have this opportunity to work with all of you.
To Elizabeth Casal for the fabulous book design and to Sebastien Hue for the coolest cover ever!
To my agent, Patricia Nelson: thank you for your belief in me and your enthusiasm for my books. Because of you, I have confidence in my writing and have never been more excited for what the future might bring!
To all my friends throughout the years who have encouraged me in my writing,
and who have helped me become the person I am today. Special thanks to: Gabby Sutjiawan, Stephanie Huang, Diana Fox, Lucy Cheng, Michelle Thinh Santiago, Megan Hurtz, and Jennifer Kwong.
To my Las Vegas and SCBWI-Nevada friends, so great to have found my people in the desert! Special thanks to Cynthia Mun, love you 언니, you inspire me every day with your hard work, boundless enthusiasm, and generous heart.
* * *
■ ■ ■
This book began as a draft in 2013, and has been shaped by the loving hands of many wonderful critique partners over the years. To my CPs who help me every day to grow as a writer, this is for you:
To the Speculators: I look forward to many more years of friendship and laughter! Special thanks to David R. Slayton, Liz Mallory, and David Myer for early encouragement and feedback on Rebel.
To the Sailor Scouts/Oh My Dramas crew: Nafiza Azad: in you, I found a friend who loves books the way I do, and Karuna Riazi (a.k.a. Kaye): you are the CP I have known the longest, and the writer whose beautiful words always remind me why I love reading in the first place. So proud of you, friend.
To the Magick Six: Candice Iloh, Devon Van Essen, Stephanie Willing, Michelle Calero, and Gaby Brabazon: couldn’t be more proud to be a part of this talented group of women!
To Thudsters/Writer’s Block Party: This year has been the best because of all of you! Shout-outs to: Mara Fitzgerald, Katy Rose Pool, Erin Bay, Amanda Haas, Meg RK, Maddy Colis, Melody Simpson, Christine Lynn Herman, Amanda Foody, Ashley Burdin, and Ella Dyson. Special thanks to early readers of Rebel Seoul — Akshaya Raman, friend and confidante, your enthusiasm and generosity of spirit is a constant strength to me — and Janella Angeles, the Jessie to my James! I’m grateful every day for having you in my life! *loud Stitch noises* *insert a million emojis*
To Michelle Kim: for your advice about “saturi,” and also for always shaming me for not reading the books I recommend you, and to Judy Lin: thanks for being an awesome Pitch Wars mentee, but an even greater friend!
To the many teachers and mentors in my life, thank you for your encouragement and generosity: Ellen Oh, Professor Jin-Kyung Lee, Jeremy B. Gregersen, Susan Goodman, Tracey Baptiste, David Elliott, Jason Reynolds, and Michelle Knudsen.
To all the booksellers, bloggers, and librarians: Thank you, thank you! I knew I was a reader the first time a librarian gave me Ella Enchanted in elementary school. I knew I wanted to be a writer at the first book signing I ever went to in college at my local bookstore. The community that loves books is the community I belong to.
To my family: 친할아버지, 친할머니, 외할아버지, 외할머니, 사랑해요, to all my aunts and uncles, Como Helen for always supporting me in my writing and feeding me yummy foods, Uncle Doosang for always asking, “What are you reading?”, to Como Katie for all the happy memories visiting you in Florida and going to Disney World, to Como Sara for introducing me to Robin McKinley when I was eleven, to Como Mary for your enthusiasm and love, and to 외삼촌 and 외숙모 for giving me my first K-pop album — Finkl’s Blue Rain; to all my cousins: Bokyung 언니, Adam (the original Stinky), Xander, Saqi, Jennifer, for introducing me to H.O.T., Jim, Wyatt (my favorite cousin), Bosung & Wusung, for tolerating my extreme love of K-pop, Busung, Sandy, Susie, Christine, we need to have another Escaflowne marathon, Kevin, Bryan, Josh, and Scott. I love you all so much!
To my cousin Sara: Words cannot express how much you mean to me. You are my older sister, friend, and confidante. Thank you for reading everything I’ve ever written, and for the long, late-night convos, and the laughter. I love you!
To my cousin, Katherine: If I had included you in all the groups above, I would have thanked you three times already! CP #1, jaeger copilot, K-pop and K-drama fangirling buddy, Song Joong Ki, Trowa and T.O.P.’s wife, BFF and 언니. Thank you for your belief in me, and for the sweet jokes. Love you!
To my puppy, Toro. Mong mong!
To my brother, Jason. 보고싶어.
To my sister, Camille. Favorite sister ever! Love you, love you!
To Dad, I’ve never gone a day without laughing because of you. I love you!
And lastly, to Mom, I am a writer because of you. You are my first reader, my strongest supporter, the person who gives me the most confidence and who has always believed in me. I love you with all of my heart. Thank you.
AUTHOR’S NOTE
Neo Seoul is a fictionalized city based on the geography of current-day Seoul with many authorial liberties of the imagination. My love of the sci-fi technology of Japanese anime and my interest in Korean culture, past and present, all influenced my creation of this brutal, but often beautiful fictive future that I hope brings enjoyment to readers.